Writing for that day, which is inevitable to all of us.


I live on Medical Management after Triple bypass procedure was considered unviable.
I have strict Diet Regimen.
I Walk twice or thrice day and my range is 10 to 15 Km per day.
This has helped me get strength in past 4.5 years.
It does not make me Invincible though.
End comes to all.  I wrote these lines for my last day as I may not have that strength left to write them.
My body is broken, I can feel it.
Weak, crushed and beyond repair.
Surely this is the end, surely there’s no coming back from this.
No, it can’t be, it mustn’t be.
How long has it been?
Minutes? Hours?
Who knows.
Somebody will find me soon though.
Ha, as if. This is no time for jokes, stupid mind.
I’m dying.
Is there really no way out of this mess?
No way for me to live?
I’m not ready to die,
I’m not ready for it all to end.
Somebody please find me, I need help.
Somebody, please save me.
I don’t want to die.

It’s very quiet out here, or maybe my mind is just failing me.

It’s peaceful though, I guess.
But I still need to get out of here, but how?
I’m too tired and too broken to do anything,
I’ll need help.
Oh please let help be on the way, I don’t want to die out here.
All alone, lost and forgotten.

I can’t.. I won’t.. I’m not going to make it.

I can’t be saved, it’s too late.
It’s far too late.
I’m going to die.
Oh no, I’m going to die!
Please, not yet, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

My mind is numb, I’m feeling drowsy.

I can’t think straight anymore, I’m too tired.
The world looks distorted, I can’t make sense of any of it anymore.
My mind is numb.

Goodbye world.

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RAK – the Random Acts of Kindness Movement . Choose one.


  1. Send flowers to a friend or a family member!
  2. Surprise your parents with flowers
  3. Send a thank you card to someone who has made a difference in your life (a friend, family member, teacher etc.)
  4. Be eco-friendly – unplug electronics when you’re finished using them
  5. Lend a friend a book you think they’d like
  6. Help someone improve, give them constructive feedback
  7. Volunteer your time for a good cause
  8. Visit a friend who’s sick
  9. Make a hot beverage for a friend/family
  10. Support a small, local business as a customer

Random Phrases. Creativity. Day’s Progress


  1. Swinging For the Fences Meaning: Giving something your all.  Yes. Giving All in to the 3 Goals I have set.  Screen time reduced. Walking/ listening time increased. Talk time improving still. Video recordings not on schedule.  
  2. Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  Have to learn to like my voice and face and expressions on the video. After all, others are somehow tolerating me 🙂 
  3. Elvis Has Left The Building Meaning: Something that is all over. Yes. This year too many People, Relationships are over. The pleasure was of course, in giving. Giving to those who can not see – the visually challenged people who will never know their Giver, the benefactor.  
  4. Playing For Keeps  Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious.  Joining my third ToastMasters on coming sunday.  The International Champ Speaker is impressive club leader. Worth learning something from him. 
  5. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted Meaning: It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money.  I thought I negotiated well. To the working class painter of the house I was bit benevolent and did not hard bargain – with the shopkeeper though, it was another matter.  In balance a good deal. 
  6. Cry Wolf Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.  Interesting study I learnt that the highest number of lies are told over phone and the least on the emails. I now understand the meaning of “Plausible deniablility”:) .
  7. Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.  It is not easy to restart Speechcrafting, writing, learning to punctuate but Udemy and online platforms are the new addictions due to great trainers. One of them, I interacted with today few times over a failed PDF and what great responses – speedy, concerned, showed care and full of support for the student – WOW – I told the lady, I shall enroll for her next course.  It made her day.
  8. Jumping the Gun Meaning: Something that occurs too early before preparations are ready. Starting too soon.  No, not making this mistake again.  Have learnt my lessons in the Shani’s Sade Saati year 2018 😦 .   
  9. Ring Any Bells?Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.  Reading some poetry blogs these days. I just keep appreciating them as I know I can never write such great poetry. Some are sad souls but most are very sane inspite of their sorrow, sadness, emotive yet sensible.  The art of writing and the flair and flourish of many of them is so remarkable and I believe they must be atleast 30 to 40 years younger to me.  Great poetry. I love it. 
  10. Scot-free Meaning: Getting away freely from custody, punishment, or any type of risky situation.  What am I scot free from? I wonder. Closeted in my drawing room, glued to my chair and the screen – it is only when I walk slowly, calmly, steadily, haltingly, I feel the fresh breath of air, the cool, Bengaluru weather and the breeze and the moment I sweat – my instincts tell me it is going to rain – and it does. The cool weather returns.  Feels like freedom! 

Creativity. Random Phrases. My Day.


  1. Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.  Restarting the Learning Process after a gap. I have found some interesting courses on Udemy about Startups, Funding, Angel investing and others of my interest. 
  2. Burst Your Bubble Meaning: To ruin someone’s happy moment.  Hmmm… some WhatsApps, some SMS, some emails.  do that regularly but I have cut short on all of them to a bare minimum i.e. Responding by a Namaste and rarely with a request to call if at all.  Mails as per Mail Track are averaging 3 per week and that gives me a lot of time to work on my 3 key goals. 
  3. Cry Over Spilt Milk Meaning: It’s useless to worry about things that  already happened and cannot be changed.  Yes this happens. It is true. And it is best to Let go of the past.  
  4. Happy as a Clam Meaning: The state of being happy; feeling delighted.  Preparing speeches, writing articles, keeps busy and happy.  Once the creativity juices are flowing there is no stopping of happiness – it just follows. 
  5. Fish Out Of Water Meaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.  I left a Club last week. I was feeling like a fish out of water as my worth was not respected, people were indulging in groupism and politics.  Best to keep off. 
  6. Quick On the Draw Meaning: Performing an action with the greatest of haste.  My habit of quickest possible withdrawal from situations where I notice personal egos dominating, politics stench starting to form.  I am quick to withdraw – call it draw or my way – with-draw 🙂
  7. Head Over Heels Meaning: Falling deeply in love with another person.  That time is past, those years are gone now. Even the memories are fading – and no use asking doctors for memory booster medicines to get them back as they come with mixed feelings. 
  8. Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success.  No. Not taking unwanted, undue risks. That time is past. Now is time to be calm, quiet and face life and bid the time.  There are some up-ticks and they brighten the day and they are much needed relief. 
  9. Knuckle Down Meaning: Getting sincere about something; applying oneself seriously to a job.  Not job. My goals. Speaking learning, Writing, Learning and certification on Udemy online.  
  10. Fight Fire With Fire Meaning: To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.  My counter attack these days is more engulfed in calmness, composure and I speak quietly, eloquently, confidently and I am well grounded and centred.  

RAK Movement – 10 Random Acts of Kindness from which you can choose.


  1. It’s hard to stay connected – reach out to an elderly person you know
  2. Smile at 3 people today
  3. Forgive someone who has wronged you
  4. Write a complimentary note for someone
  5. Be eco-friendly – unplug electronics when you’re finished using them
  6. Share something interesting you’ve learnt today
  7. Know someone who is not coping very well? Give them a call
  8. Say good morning/afternoon/evening to a stranger
  9. Answer the phone in a cheerful voice – even if it is a sales person
  10. Remember to turn the lights off when you leave a room!

Random Acts of Kindness


  1. Send flowers to a friend or a family member!
  2. Start the day right – make breakfast for everyone
  3. Old laptop or mobile lying around? Donate it
  4. Pay for someone else’s meal today
  5. Feeling inspired? Make a meal for your family or roommates
  6. Make your voice count – sign a petition for a good cause
  7. Feed a stray animal if you spot one
  8. Make amends with someone you may have wronged
  9. Recycle 3 things today
  10. Save water – take a shorter shower today

Random Acts of Kindness


  1. Leave a kind message anywhere (in a library book, on a computer etc.)
  2. Share today’s food with your neighbour!
  3. Make someone’s day – tell a friend why you appreciate them
  4. Someone looking lost? Help them with directions
  5. Remember that friend you haven’t seen for ages? Give them a call
  6. Feed a stray animal if you spot one
  7. Purchase ethical goods
  8. Recycle 3 things today
  9. Open the door for someone
  10. Have lunch with a homeless person