MENTOR Humor (don’t these sound familiar to some famous Quotes?
Progress does not happen without change, and change doesn’t happen without an open mind. – Jay Parkhe
When no one challenges your ideas; it is even more important to closely evaluate them. – Jay Parkhe
You can’t discover new places if you never leave the comfort of your home. – Jay Parkhe
The more you like yourself, and the less you’re likely to be like others and THAT makes you truly unique. Jay Parkhe
GIVE it Everything You’ve Got, even in you smallest steps and you’ll be on the path to success, surely and certainly – Jay Parkhe
Good story sent by a friend
I parked in front of a mall, wiping my car, when a tramp approached me.
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money.
There are times when you feel generous but sometimes you just don’t want to be bothered.
This was one of those “don’t want to be bothered times”.
I hope he doesn’t ask me for money, I thought.
He sat down on the curb and after a few minutes he spoke.
“That’s a very pretty car,” he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, “Thanks,” and continued wiping my car.
He sat quietly. The expected plea for money never came.
As the silence between us widened something inside me said, “Ask him if he needs any help.”
I was sure he would say “Yes” but I held true to the inner voice.
“Do you need any help?” I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments.
I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. But he spoke the three words that shook me.
“Don’t we all?” he said.
I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a tramp in the street, until those three words hit me.
Don’t we all?
I needed help.
Maybe not for a meal or a place to sleep, but I needed help.
I reached in my wallet and gave him enough to get a warm meal.
Those three little words still ring true.
No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too.
No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.
Even if it’s just a compliment, you can give that.
You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. But they may be waiting for you to give them what they don’t have!
* A different perspective on life
* A glimpse at something beautiful
* A respite from daily chaos, that only you with a different view can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets.
Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to people too comfortable in themselves.
Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a tramp, then said, “Go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help.”
DON’T WE ALL?
🙏😊 Good Morning🙏😊 Have a wonderful weekend🙏😊🙏
I’m a gardener Mentor. I try and die the seeds to make Dreams grow into ambitions, translating into Vision, mission, goals, objectives, action plans, biz, marketing plans etal.
In my efforts, sometimes I come across very distressed mentees. I have to work on making the soil good as they have rocky soil of past bad experiences, thorny soil which does not allow seeds to germinate, or find soil. I spend 5, 13, 26, 52 weeks depending upon the STATE, and SITUATION.
I Sometimes come across Sand, silt or clay land or simply rocky land. Rarely I find delta land ( usualy in C Suite execs) which is fertile . Each gets a different mentor treatment.
It works. There are failures too. As the mentorees stop responding and throw seeds on footpath – it is eaten by birds and pigeons.
In one case, after sowing 150 revenue ideas and rigorously, tilling the land I found failure. I decided to move on. As the farmer/ mentoree just did not understand and allowed my gardening efforts fail.
Sad but true! It happens.
Gardener then moves on too…
Short story that inspired me to write a Quick Poem below
Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls — family, health, friends, integrity — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.
The Sharp And Grand Rock
A Poem by Jay Parkhe
Whose rock is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite angry though.
He was cross like a dark potato.
I watch him pace. I cry A’llo.
He gives his rock a shake,
And screams you’ve made a bad mistake.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant glasses and bars awake.
The Rock is sharp, Grand and deep,
But he has promises to keep,
Tormented with nightbirds he never sleeps.
Revenge is a promise a man must keep.
He rises from his flat bed,
With thoughts of violence in his head,
A flash of rage and he sees red.
Without a men-O-pause you turned and fled.
With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure
You Can’t Judge a Book By Its CoverMeaning: Don’t judge someone or something only by the outward appearance. They can be fooling. How long we allow ourselves to be fooled is up to us REALLY
A Fool and His Money are Soon PartedMeaning:It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money. Hmmm…
Mountain Out of a MolehillMeaning: One who escalates small things and turns them into big problems. Quite true. We meet complaining, whining people who avoid ownership, responsibility taking and attribute failures others rather than owning up mistakes.
Not the Sharpest Tool in the ShedMeaning: Someone who isn’t witty or sharp, but rather, they are ignorant, unintelligent, or senseless. Some people are so phony intellectuals who parrotise, write dictated mails by others, and when confronted just run away.
Morning Briefing Top news & stories of the startup ecosystem from India & around the world
12 Min Reading Time
After announcing the deal to buy Indian ecommerce company Flipkart, Global retail giant Walmart has been engaged in arranging the funds for the deal. The new reports have revealed that the US giant has set a target for June 7, 2019 to complete the process of arranging funds through bond sale for Flipkart.
In a statement, Ajay Bhushan Pandey, CEO, UIDAI said that in certain AUAs (Authentication User Agency), the authentication is always done in a controlled environment in the presence of their own regular staff while in case of some AUAs the authentication is performed in the presence of their agents who many a time cater to more than one AUA.
As per Ankit Tandon, COO, OYO Townhouse the idea stemmed from a lot of MICE (Meetings, incentives, conferences and exhibitions) enquiries that OYO was getting for its operated properties. Launched in April this year, OYO Auto Party is currently available in eight cities including Delhi/NCR, Jaipur, Lucknow and Kolkata with 50 venues. The company is targeting 100 venues by December this year in the eight cities.
Keeping up with our consistent efforts to bridge the gap between the Indian startup ecosystem, policymakers, and industry stalwarts, here are the startup events that you should consider participating in this week. Mark your calendars…
Who will understand this market better than someone who’s been in the SaaS industry since its inception in India till today, when it’s a booming industry? The man in question is Sridhar Vembu, the founder and CEO of Zoho. As we caught up with the SaaS magician during Inc42 Facebook Live AMA, here are some things that he shared…
The now-defunct Anglo-American firm has gained notoriety for its harvesting of Facebook profiles and shady campaign tactics, but the storm of controversy has been building for decades. Before its younger sibling, Cambridge Analytica, worked for Donald Trump, SCL Group claimed to have built a portfolio of political work in three dozen countries, deploying its “behavioral change” tactics in sometimes shaky democracies.
“Good artists borrow great artists steal” is a phrase that Facebook seems acutely aware of. It’s common to speak of Instagram, the Facebook-owned photo-app-now-social-network, borrowing from Snapchat, but now Facebook’s WhatsApp chat app is increasingly drawing its innovation from others such as Telegram.
Connoisseurs of the Amazon media narrative knew exactly what to expect when the retailer announced its acquisition of online pharmacy PillPack for just under $1 billion: lots of headlines about disruption, combined with breathless reporting about the plunging share prices of Rite-Aid, Walgreens, and CVS. Everything Amazon touches, it seems, gets automatically imbued with industry-shaking potential.
With some edits here and there.
A smile of beautiful lips
a small rustle of wings
Dreaming in her pallor of gold
lovely outstretched feet black velvety jacket;
the river murmurs of lascivious satyrs;
that by starlight! for more than a thousand years!
Droops her pale flowerlike cheek squat flower-cups.
– golden foam on her hair, stars spring in the moss.
On his golden chariot dropping pollen like commas.
– proudly displays golden being a goddess with the.
A smile of beautiful lips, a small rustle of wings
showed her rosy navel her great veils rising
why the golden stars but endless;
I cared nothing for all,
whose sobs realize incredible Floridas,
never endured more triumphant
clamourings entranced in the pallid flotsam
delirious skies are, i hung there
by Jay & Arthur Rimbaud
#Life #Relationshiops #judging #situation #expectations
- I Smell a Rat Meaning: A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry. I met him. He was late. The meeting lasted 30 minutes against original plan of 2 hours as we met after nearly 6 years. Something was amiss. Something was wrong.
Par For the Course Meaning: What you would expect to happen; something normal or common. He came to the point said I shall do two things for you. I said, I came to meet without expectations. He added and committed to more more I this this was not par for the course. Seemed like a Gimme to me.
You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover Meaning: Don’t judge someone or something only by the outward appearance. The beard was gone, Hair were short cropped, eyes bore a cold look. Was the man Calm and composed within. I was not judging.
On the Ropes Meaning: Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless! There was no compatibility, there was no synergy, leveraging strengths was thrown out of the windows ( and were there too many of them?) The break up was inevitable.
Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I have believed in this phrase all my life but still do things as Mentor for them I should not be doing and that makes them habituated of spoon feeding, Receiving and expecting more = ready on a platter. When not delivered the bubble bursts.
Isn’t that called Life?
A Poem by jay
Whose Husky Ms. Voice Tonality is that?
I think I know.
Its owner is quite sad though.
It really is a tale of woe,
I watch her frown. I cry hello.
She gives her Nasal Tonality a shake,
And sobs until the tears make.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.
The Voice Tonality is petite and young.
dusky demure and deep,
But she has friends to keep,
Until then she shall not sleep.
She lies in bed with wounds that weep.
She rises from her sulking bed,
With thoughts of chaotic madness in her head,
She idolises being a Rising Star.
Facing the day with never-ending yet, Far.
With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.
Up In ArmsMeaning: Angry; being roused to the point that you are ready to fight.
Every Cloud Has a Silver LiningMeaning: To be optimistic, even in difficullt times.
On the Same PageMeaning: Thinking alike or understanding something in a similar way with others.
Drawing a BlankMeaning: Failing to recall a memory. Unable to remember something.
Heads UpMeaning: Used as an advanced warning. To become keenly aware.
Keep Your Shirt OnMeaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.
Fit as a FiddleMeaning: Being fit as a fiddle means to be in perfect health.
Talk the TalkMeaning: Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence.
Down For The CountMeaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so.
Needle In a HaystackMeaning: To keep going, pressing forward; never stopping.
- Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind. So very true for this day. Damn my biorhythms !
I will never be this young again. Ever. Oh damn… I just got older. That’s right.
He said he was not there yesterday; however, many people saw him there. Hmmm… Must have lied to his wife, who else?:)
Is it free? WHAT IS? Yes, Advice is free, feedback is free. Even T H A T people charge money these days – they are called MENTORS like Jay 🙂
Tom got a small piece of pie. Hmmm… anything left for me.. NOOO! Im on diet till 31st July. Have to drop to 80Kg !
She folded her handkerchief neatly. One of my babyboomer (habit) privilege also stolen! 🙂
Learning Never Ends. I have become interested in NeuroMarketing Subject as I strongly feel it can help Startups. Made a beginning today.
Women Rise in the Restaurant Leadership Ranks
A startup can have all of it — a good suggestion, an expanding customer unfriendly, funding, an excellent outlook — yet discover itself floundering, struggling to cope with a transforming into team or finding out the most effective approach to make use of these bucks for enlargement. And that’s the place the appropriate mentor could be helpful, nudging the founders within the appropriate path and helping them develop each for my part and professionally.“Having the appropriate mentor is crucial. It can be the difference between making a fine decision and a disastrous one,” says Abhishek Verma, founding father of nine-month-historic startup Mojostar, a celebrity-pushed retail business. Verma receives advice from those that have been there and accomplished it before him on three counts — navigating massive partnerships and negotiating, hiring the appropriate americans, and getting to know the way to allocate capital. Verma, who became part of Myntra’s brand team previous, has drawn his mentors from the style etailer’s old management team.TIES OF suggestions
Warren Buffett – bill Gates
The Microsoft founder has commonly mentioned famed investor Warren Buffet is his adviser when it comes to ideas and investments, other than being a detailed pal. Gates has noted Buffett asked him a couple of hard questions in the early years of Microsoft, which helped him build the company into the tech giant it grew to be
Larry Ellison – Marc BenioffThey’ve have had public feuds but they’re additionally shut friends, and Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison supported Benioff throughout the early days of Salesforce, offering counsel, assist and day without work from work.bill Campbell – Jeff BezosA former Columbia institution soccer participant and educate, Campbell labored with and mentored with one of the vital greatest names in tech, including Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Larry web page and Eric SchmidtWhile mentoring is constantly about a casual, very own relationship with a senior or more experienced grownup who takes an hobby in a more youthful entrepreneur with spark and power, in some instances the relationships are more formal. a few accelerators assign mentors to the startups of their programmes, while some angel investors play the role of adviser. In other circumstances, “professional mentors” engage a stake in the company to dish out suggestions.A examine by activity insight, a non-profit that supports excessive-impact entrepreneurs the world over, found that 33% of founders who are mentored via a hit entrepreneurs went on to turn into correct performers. “The magnitude of difference between the performance of companies with a success mentors and groups that lack them suggests that the cost of beneficial mentors for startups may well be above all excessive,” activity insight’s director Rhett Morris writes.Sagar Yarnalkar, founder of grocery delivery platform DailyNinja, says his mentors are also his angel investors — TaxiForSure’s Aprameya Radhakrishna, Freecharge’s Kunal Shah and Anupam Mittal of Shaadim. “Aprameya helped me plan my incentive structure to work with companions and milk carriers beneath the gadget. He had journey working with providers right through his time at TaxiForSure,” he says. Shah and Mittal helped set up conferences with key buyers. All this helped Yarnalkar bag an additional round of funding from Sequoia Capital last December. “a pretty good mentor will need the equal factor you desire and back you to the hilt,” he says.usual MENTORS IN INDIAAparameya Radhakrishna, founder of TaxiForSurePhanindra Sama, founder of RedBusKunal Shah, founder of FreechargeAnupam Mittal, founder of ShaadimGlobally, too, founders of tech giants like Apple’s Steve Jobs, Google’s Larry page and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos have mentioned how having a mentor helped them build and scale their companies.
In India, there are lots of a hit entrepreneurs who associate with more youthful ones to support build the startup ecosystem. closing yr, Niti Aayog invited purposes for its ‘Mentor India’ programme, beneath which mentors might guide schools college students in govt Atal Tinkering Labs. around 750 mentors have been chosen for programme throughout the country. whereas some entrepreneurs just put their identify down as a mentor in order that a startup can raise money, others are in fact attracted to the increase of the business and support every time feasible.
Some suppose the word ‘mentorship’ has been abused in India. “Mentors in India are overrated. basically, ninety% of the time an entrepreneur takes the name of someone as a mentor because it sounds respectable. on occasion an angel investor puts in money and leaves however is credited as a mentor,” says Somdutta Singh, vice-chairperson of Nasscom Product Council and a member of the core administration committee of girls Entrepreneurial telephone, NITI Aayog. She says many incredibly-valued startups in India grew through inserting big names as mentors after they had been beginning but the relationship wasn’t really one in every of nurturing and advising.
If entrepreneurs get a “skilled mentor”, it comes for a monthly price. Singh herself is a mentor to startups via her consulting firm and her roles at Nasscom and Niti Ayog and fees a charge for her time.“just a few accelerators charge startups charges each month for an hour of mentoring, but mentorship isn’t consultancy provider. which you can’t pay them by using the hour,” says Ishan Singh, who has led three investments and is a mentor to 10 startups, including WeDoSky and PeeBuddy. He become previously a mentor to the founders of 91 Springboard. An advisory equity stake, constantly 1-5% within the enterprise, helps the mentor be utterly aligned to the growth of the enterprise, he says.There are still risks though. PeeBuddy co-founder Deep Bajaj remembers the time a “mentor” disappeared after inquiring for a 2% stake in the enterprise. “fortunately we hadn’t issued it. but i know many startups who haven’t been as lucky,” he says.To counter this, in Israel, its innovation authority has a formalised mentor-mentee programme, which ensures that the individuals signing up as mentors are tracked online for the number of hours spent assisting startups. Nasscom’s Deep Tech membership has all started an analogous programme with legal professionals, accountants and entrepreneurs appearing as mentors, and they need to visit the startups twice a week.
So how does one select the foremost mentor? Somdutta Singh has an ‘paintings’ —Aspiration-Responsiveness-Transition — for it. “The startup’s aspiration should healthy the mentor’s. Responsiveness is helping them connect with the appropriate individuals. Transition is to help startups develop. A mentor may still do all these,” she says.Verma says a startup should have a clear purpose and define specific results for the relationship. Ishan Singh, too, advises startups to spell out the expectations they have got from the mentor and to do wide research before signing one on. Mentors should be sincere ample if assist they can’t support, Singh says. “I even have declined somewhat a few startups as a result of I don’t consider i am the right grownup to help them,” he says.
Where do we want to b?.
What is our desired place we see?
What is the Ultimate Place we wish to be?
A Dreamer knows Inside OUT and Outside IN!
We do tend to forget the dream and live life
Going with the flow,
Dreams give us Purpose, Goals, Ambitions, and Aims – albeit sub-consciously.
Mentors are awakener and constantly hammer, chisel, sculpt the mouldable Mentees/ into their Actionable Plans, often as Accountability Partners with joint responsibility.
Isn’t it your idea too that you can have a thriving business built on helping people and improving the world the ultimate dream?
In case you didn’t know – the Personal Development/ Life Coaching/ Mentoring Industry is not just about feeling good.
According to Wikipedia and Psychology Today, this is a more than $11 Billion dollar industry – and growing.
It is Growing at a rapid pace and will continue to always help more lives with their positive impact – the question we should be asking ourself isn’t, ‘Can I be successful at this?’ …
it’s ‘How big of a mark do I want to make?’, and
‘What am I willing to do to make it happen?”
There is no limit to the amount of income or the satisfaction you can gain from teaching people how to unleash their unlimited potential and awaken their latent dreams.
I’ve been studying why people do what they do for nearly half a century. .
Dealing with perceptions
in my mind’s eyes
hoping against hope
my cognitive bias
my hyper criticism brutally
and honestly delivered
Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
Forgetting all the time
There could be another way
May be it means something else
Meanings, judgements passed
Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
Forgetting our Being Human!
The tendencies to err
To become ruthless
Behave unnaturally with vengeance
Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
In the meaningless repetitive
Arguments to prove us Right
Leaving sanity, wisdom
Ignoring subtle visible facts
Getting self centred
Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
To prove I’m always right
No remorse, no feelings and
Emotions towards others
No empathy no sympathy
Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
Being mean before we know it
Mean machines we become
Mean machine or
Meaning making Machine –
who am I ?
Is that me?
Who have I become
A Moron, a sadist
Or just Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?
(Writing poetry after many years! It needs a deep provocation, a shining up a mentors huge stick! And it just flowed)
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
From a Single parent raised by my mom when I became an Orphan I learnt the biggest lesson. My mom once told me that Weaning a child who is breast fed and the mom stops feeding him/ her is the toughest challenge a 6-8 month kid faces in their life. It initially makes them rebellious, cranky, crying and persuading the mother to somehow agree to feed the child her milk. I first observed it closely in Agricultural college in the Veterinary classes. I then observed this more closely in family where children were born and understood when i faced this personally.
When a mother leaves for her heavenly abode that is the WORST phase in any loving son/ daughters’life.
I learnt this lesson and rarely used this with few mentees and observed the similar behavior. When a mentor gives Emotional Investment in the mentee the mentee relationship changes from Adult/Adult transactions to Parent/Child relationships. If not well handled this can make Mentoring go haywire and once in my experiene it did. And I could not handle it being a male/ a father/ a grandfather – NO ONE, NO ONE can ever replace a mother in our lives.
Did you know…
… that today, besides being Mother’s Day (Happy Mother’s Day to all you fabulous moms!) is National Apple Pie Day? And what better way to celebrate than with a slice of pie?!
Today’s Inspirational Quote:
“A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”
— Dorothy Canfield Fisher
My mother wanted me to have a STATUS atleast two levels above her and my father who were Government Teacher and father a PS to the Chief Secretary. I was refused permission to join Armed forces, refused permission to join ( Even though I was the 1st person selected) to be a Lifetime Non-Sanyasi Hindu Missionary to work in North East for Vivekananda Kendra, Kanyakumari.
I was allowed to do menial work, child labour, odd jobs, even becoming a Sales person at 12 and was religiously funded for 3 years my typing lessons as a skill which I hated but she would say, The skills remain with us for life. She sent me to hobby classes to College band, All indoor and outdoor sports and games, learn to play flute, drawing, painting, sewing, stitching, tailoring and every skill I could acquire like electrician, cycle and motorcycle repairer etc. etc. The quote was “Learn to find dignity in labour and never look down on any one”. These stuck in my life, they taught me to be humble and have humility. My father died when I was 12, he was stickler and Sticked me heavily whenever i made mistakes. His teaching was never chase money, build goodwill, learn to give and build a reputation – God keeps the count, pray to him to be able to give more. What profound Gyan for the Babyboomer! I grew and groomed on such teachings and was taken to many spiritual, academic, business mentors to learn from them.
My mother broke tradition and became an Entrepreneur starting the First Montessory school at home for kindergarten children in 1957 ( I have written a full chapter in my book published about Start up Mentoring – published on Amazon. in).
We miss you, Akka!
Today’s Inspirational Quote:
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
— Author Unknown
I was reading an article
From Ashes To Ashes To Diamonds: A Way To Treasure The Dead . It is very interesting ! It talks about “From Ashes To Ashes To Diamonds: A Way To Treasure The Dead””
- Where a stone is cut has no more relation to the quality of the cut. At least not in what is observable in the finished product. There definitely still is a difference in yield, but that is only of concern for the manufacturer.
- The difference in cut-quality depends upon the goals and the organisation of the manufacturer. The cutting might be anywhere in the world for that matter. Therefore, you can still find very nicely cut Russian-cuts, a growing percentage of high quality Indian-cuts and in bigger stones, still more than Gary thinks, mostly Belgian-cut stones.
- Pre Glasnost Russians cut by the text book with little regard for yield. Russian was the best cut.
- Belgium has very little cutting today – some is very good – most is pre prepared and sent to Asia for finishing.
- A few years back all Indian and most Israel diamonds were sold thru Belgium as Belgian Cut – or the better cut stones as Russian Cut.
- Today it does not matter much as there are terrible and beautiful diamonds cut everywhere. Buy the diamond and not the location – that is the best advice.
Same things almost apply to the Mentor who becomes the Sculptor for the Masterpiece or the Diamond cutter improving the 4C Qualities of the Diamonds and bringing out their inner FIRE and increasing the yield by cuts so that the Weight gives the desired price to the seller.
Sometimes, though it gives me the feeling that the Mentees are not finally CARBON so essential for making of a Diamond but are made of a brittle, fragile sandstone which can only be crushed to make sand and used in the plinth of a building and NOT Diamond. The death wish of the mentee, in such cases to be a masterpiece can only be fulfilled if the building architect designs and makes it the world’s best – otherwise it remains another mundane structure.
To me personally, Mentoring is both art and science. There are thousands of approaches and there would be million mentors in the world each monopolising their own tricks of the trade and techniques and approaches. I just focused on 11 of them and practiced them for 20 years. It does not make me a diamond ! or even diamond material ready for the cuts. The mentor leaves behind the legacy of mentees who when they do well – the mentor becomes PUREST FORM OF CARBON and may not require any polish – just the basic things they do to be the Blue Diamond preserved by some as their Dead. That would be my last wish!
So Congratulations to me. The credit for this goes to my loving wife and family and my Doctors who did not let me waver like true mentors for one moment from my goal. They set three big strategic targets for me after my 2 heart attacks
- Get to 68Kg – your weight when you married 38 years ago and present a Jay as he was to your wife. Motivating but tough.
- Second Get to Under 90 Kg before May 2018 and maintain the weight.
- Come to 80 Kilos by 31st July and you will have nearly Reversed your Heart disease by strict medical management, Walking as the only exercise other than some breating Yoga exercises and Extremely strict Dietary conrols and managemnt.
I like to MEASURE. Without measuring nothing is achieved. I used different Apps for Walking measurement, Steps measurement, Weight measurement, BP measurement, Sugar measurement
Without Documentation of what you do, you can not prove as people are interested to have an EMPIRICAL (sic !) EVIDENCE that what you claim is true.. So I maintained a journal in which i record all the above and my Insulin dosage plus I also record EPISODES such as the number of times I fell down, Number of times I ate out, No. of days on travel, No. of issues – fractured hand, Arthritis, Frozen shoulder, Extreme sweating etc as told to maintain by my Great Doctors who are now friends. Without their help it was not possible.
Look at these pics – Before and After. This was ME in August 2007 when TNT CEO visited India and I had just returned from Tirupati after a headshave and a Darshan. I weighed a good 135 Kilos then and was ready for a Heart Attack. I had stopped all forms of Alcohol in 2006 beginning and stopped Non-vegetarian food much before that by I was still eating lots of namkins and salted, fried peanuts and was smoking to glory as a chainsmoker.
As Diabetes was detected in 2006, I was put on Tablets and No Sugar, Minimal Salt food and I had reduced my food intake by about 20% overall without of course stopping the peanuts and snacks which put my blood sugar out of control and the Doctor to comment – other than your Kidneys everything seems wrong and you are waiting for a silent heart attack soon. I changed the doctor though, as he was mostly abroad and was not guiding me correctly and I was left to the mercy of his wire thin dietician who had run out of ideas about giving me recipe’s as none of her 20 recipe’s worked.
Weight drop after diabetes was not very significant but I managed to get the photographer to get this shot so I look thinner in the picture atleast with a french beard or a ‘goatee”. 🙂 I still weighed 132 Kilos in July 2008
The below picture is when I was honoured as an Honorary Professor of SIBM Pune, Bangalore by the Chairman of Symbiosis Dr. Muzumdar. I was donating all the honorarium earned adding something from my own for their library. Did so from 2000 to 2014.
June 2010 and I still weighed 135 Kilos as you can see from the pic below.
The picture below is 6 months after my 2 quick silent heart attacks of which one was noticed in Feb 14 by Symbiosis students and I was admitted to Narayana Hrudayalaya of the world famous Dr. Devi Shetty. My Weight 108 Kg. August 2014. When admitted the famed doctor said it is a case requiring triple bypass but your heart pumps at 15% and it is not feasible to operate. They did PET Scan and other tests and put me in ICCU for 8 days which were very boring with hospital diet food and smells and nauseating atmosphere . Two great things happened. 1. I stopped snoring 2. I stopped smoking thereafter.
Dr. Shetty also advised me to meet the HOD of Endocrinology and now my friend Dr. Satish Kumar for putting me on Insulin, his medication and diet controls.
I was very reluctant to take insulin. Wanted to hire a nurse or go to a hospital to get injected as I would relate it to 14 injections in the stomach thing which was a fear I had about the dog bite. Although I had a pet dog in my childhood called Tomy but I was very afraid of injections in the stomach. But I changed my fears and went on with treatment.
Next came diet. After 2 – 4 changes of dieticians opinions Dr. Satish asked me to cut food intake to a total of 20% of what I was eating before the Episodes and my wife would listen to his advice intently and make me accept and adapt to this extremely strictly. She maintained my food timings, quantity and watched for my excesses I would indulge on my walks etc. and added couple of juices = White gourd and fresh Grass juice to my morning breakfast. Daughter pitched in with her client’s Sericha Tea with lunch and dinner and another daughter suggested Figs to reduce cholestrol with breakfast.
All in all I was in good hands = well disciplined, well monitored and controlled.
Weight 135 Kg.Dec2011
My only task was to Walk. I had started short walks post retirement in the morning and evening. Dr. Satish motivated me to increase it periodically. So from 2.5Km a day I have come to average 12.5 Km per day this year. In April I crossed 10000Km on the Nike Apps meant for runners but I measured my Km walked.
All of this worked. Then this year I realised I sleep a lot in the day time some times 2 to 6 hours as sisesta. My weight touched on April 9 2018 98 Kilos and I was told to stop sleeping in the noon and instead walk for about 2 Km in the Sun. It started showing results.
Post my birthday, I fitted into Readymade Slim fit Jeans after many many years and you can see the delight on my face. But I still had to go to the next target level. I weighe today and my Cuttent Weight 88,8kg. For past 15 days it has been in the range of 89 to 90 kilos. I think I am going to achieve the 80 kilo target by the due date doing what I am doing. It is working.
So personally, it is a bigger victory than a Poker victory as even if you win 10 Million or 1- billion you can spend it all but you can not reverse the heart disease and earn more years to live with your family and friends. My personal gratitude to all who helped.
To end, I had a brief Mentoring intervention of 60 days with a mentee and I once shared a joke with her to say ” Jaane Kiski mentoring karta firta hai, iska wazan 5 Kilo ghat gaya hai” – it was a rigorous mentoring assignment and what this meant is “Don’t know who he mentors or what he does but his weight has gone down by 5 Kilos” So perhaps she also deserves kudos for being with me in that crucial period of losing weight and helping me achieve my target.
So next is 80.0 Kilos by 31st July. 🙂
I wrote an article some time ago, about the 11 mentoring approaches I used and then found that there are many many more Mentoring approaches I do not know about. I was especially inspired by this video I found on YouTube that talks about 5 1/2 Mentors which this Basketball player found in his lifetime which are so precious and way better than my 11 approached.
I dedicate this article and urge especially the Mentees whom I dropped, who quit, or who Cracked under the KickAss Mentor’s pressures and Strict Coach Talk/ writings. They may still have a chance to move up in life as all is not lost. I loved this video. Sharing.
I read somewhere that Mentors appear when the Pupils are ready but as a Skeptic I believe that Mentors come for :
a. A Reason
b. A Season or
c. For Life as a life coach.
I know the amount of pressure, I exert on mentees is so unbearable that The Reason sometimes changes to Treason 🙂 and mentees begin Reverse Mentoring – as they believe Jay is such an inferior guy – we can coach and mentor him better !
The Season may last for a Quarter, Half year or 4-5 years and then as the Mentees learn to find mentors for their Augmented needs and Augmented wants of their businesses, their personal motivations – Jay Parkhe takes a back seat willing. That’s when the SEASONING and ripening of the Mentees begin. jay calls it WEAN to WIN approach.
Some Mentees keep in touch as they believe they have formed a bond which is life long and they keep in touch at their will and for them it is ATM – Any time mentoring where the phonelines, emails, whatsApp or SMS never shut. They reach you on Social media complimenting, commenting, sharing, agreeing, disagreeing, congratulating and sharing sad moments together.
Mentoring does all of this. It can display in a simple limp handshake with a sweaty but cold palm that the person is Selfish, will turn ungrateful, ingrate but the good mentors persist as they believe in the power to reform. No one can change and adult. Only adults can transform themselves and change. As you can see in this video as well. Jay has met several Ex-Cons who came for advice, Reformed, became part of this world by giving up all their bad deeds, negative influences, negative people surrounding them by building a strong fort in their minds to counter them and Jay takes pride in helping them build and reinforce every strong wall, trench and tunnel and their Big Guns!
Such is the pleasure of Mentoring. Enjoy the video. I found it very inspiring.
Today’s Inspirational Quote:
“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter,
and those who matter don’t mind.”
— Bernard M. Baruch
Recently I read a variant / pseudo version of the above phrase and I was thinking – LOL ! 🙂
Poke Fun AtMeaning:Making fun of something or someone; ridicule.
When you lose your originality, you search the web. When your borrowed phrases exhaust and your plagiarism is exposed, one chooses to get back at people by twisting, twirling, modifying, stretching, shortening Quotes to misuse, abuse and put to disuse in order to Poke Fun At people who reveal your Truth but hold back due to professional secrecy.
Elephant in the RoomMeaning:Ignoring a large, obvious problem or failing to address an issue that stands out in a major way.
People who skirt, deflect and avoid issues while taking stances which are aggressive, abrasive and false pretenses but when they are exposed, their falsehood is open they still do not have the courage to see the Elephant in the room and behave like blind, deaf, mute people showing off their ‘Handicap'(as in Golf) to save the Facepalm moments.
- Beating Around the Bush
- Someone who is beating around the bush is someone who avoids the main point.
- This is Self-Explnatory.
The people I am talking about have three distinct qualities.
First, they are willing to disagree ferociously, but talk civilly, (writing blasphemously with full blown profanity when challenged) about nearly every meaningful subject: religion, abortion, immigration, the nature of consciousness.
Second, in an age in which popular feelings about the way things ought to be often override facts about the way things actually are, each is determined to resist parroting what’s politically convenient using memory of convenience, logic of convenience and in the end wanting to make you see their TRUTH as your truth. Some of them are Pseudo-intellectuals and at last count someone said there are 150 of them in Delhi alone who are peddling some media house plan asking for Rs.5 Crores and finally willing to settle for as little as Rs. 5000 !
And third, some have paid for this commitment by being purged from institutions that have become increasingly hostile to unorthodox thought — and have found receptive audiences elsewhere – which includes Commies, pseudo-Marxists, pseudo Nihilists, Maoists and Wayfarers who wish to overthrow the government by hook or crook – they are seditionists who indoctrinate people into being brainwashed under the influence of Drugs and fake Love.
Whether you are a Mentor or you wish to be a C Suite Mentee The following can provide you a quick way to break the ice in an early mentoring meeting (with thanks to the Independent newspaper).The answers don’t have to be written down – this is to create conversation. Fundamental to this interview are two main Communication Pillars which make the Mentee understand that :1. The Mentor will Reveal himself Transparently. Reciprocity is expected/ appreciated. Confidentiality is maintained.2. The Mentor ‘Provokes’ ! Be Ready for this, Challenge is good, Provocation leads to bringing out the Best in you !
Both mentee and mentor can answer these questions:• If you weren’t talking to me right now you’d be …• The catch- phrase/s you use far too often is …• I wish people would take more notice of …• The most surprising thing that happened to me was …• A common misconception (idea) of mine is …• I am not a politician, but …• I am good at…• I am not very good at…• The best day / night out is …• The best age to be is …• In a nutshell, my philosophy is …• I light up when…• If I could learn any language I would learn..
As a mentor I sometimes use 4C technique of mentoring. It’s origins are in the 4 C qualities of the purest diamonds. which are known as Color Clarity, cut and Carat Weight and as Mentor I made some notes to self below:
- Respect your belief that we are all One Man Company first.
- We are all in our own right, Small budding brands.
- We have a place in the Sun.
- We have a place in the skies!
- Which part of sky belongs to me?
- Which set of Starry diamonds my brand resembles?
- Am I going to be the brightest and shiniest one?
- Or a small simple Solitaire – invaluable Brand?
- Sometimes though we see a DARKENING OF THE LIGHT around us even in the Bright Sun!
- This masks all our shine, brightness and all the Dimond like qualities in us.
- We all have our stars and we are all Celebrities in our own minds and hearts and the Glow and the halo spreading from our idols/ icons sometimes overshadows our own 4 C’s.
- The more we allow this to happen to us we become Ex-celebrities in our own mind. Sometimes, Gods and circumstances are against us.
- We lose our celebrity status, the paradigms shift, the clocks are reset, the Computers and our life is pushed by a Reset button and to Comeback is the toughest challenge we face.
- I designed my 4 C – Comeback Celebrity’s Crazy Coach program for some of such great souls who were in the sky, searching for their space in the darkening of the light.
- There is a saying that when light goes down, it may be wise to become invisible.
- The image is of fresh darkness, the period is just after sunset or a fire has gone out.
- There is still much activity left over from the light of day, and movements in the outer world are at their most dangerous.
- Even the smallest sound, the faintest glow of light, can attract unwanted attention.
- It is said that when the darkness of stupidity reigns in our human affairs, it is best that we keep your brilliance “hidden under a bushel basket!”
- Let your thoughts and efforts therefore be quiet, self-contained, and protected, as much as possible, from harmful influences, negative people, unwanted interruptions of Technology which forces us to Read and Write SMS, WhatsApp, eMails etc. and forces us not to listen and makes us speechless – or DUMB !
- Don’t let yourself be swept along on the current of conventional wisdom when dangerous uncertainties exist.
- Try not to become too depressed or anxious; such periods will also pass.
- Just endure it for now and inwardly preserve your self-confidence, while outwardly remaining cooperative and flexible.
- The time to assert yourself will come.
- Avoid looking too far ahead if you have not yet achieved your goals – that will only bring regret and longing, which can eat away at your inner strength.
- So, be cautious and reserved.
- Control yourself.
- Do not needlessly stimulate forces of opposition.
- During dark, unsettled periods, it is best to step gingerly around sleeping dogs.
The climax of the dark ties has arrived, and the darkness has begun to consume even itself. When negative energy is finally spent, people of intelligence and good spirit naturally re-emerge, and gain positions of rightful prominence.
So How does the future look like?
Just Visualize -GRACE AND BEAUTY
Diamonds in the Sky are so Graceful. Diamonds in the Real Life are so precious and Beautiful.
- Imagine that there is a splashy sunset that bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river.
- Grace and beauty adorn the natural world.
- Grace is neither an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing.
- By itself, it is form without content.
- Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon.
- Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.
- Grace brings success in small matters.
- In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the choreography of the dance; the musician giving life to a musical score; the painter becoming one with brush and canvas.
- In human affairs, grace is aligned with mastery of aesthetic and cultural forms honed by time and honored by tradition.
- When we appreciate graceful forms in human culture, we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the struggle for survival.
- The Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions.
- Do Take care to lend grace and dignity to small matters, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence.
Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.
I like this newsletter. How many of us have met people who take refuge, subterfuge (deceit) of projecting they know everything as Omniscients and Demi-Gods! And their masks of Omnipotence wear out thin as the exposure hurts like Exfoliation of the soft skin exposed to the Tropical Sun. It burns like hell.
“There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic,” Maya Angelou wrote in contemplating courage in the face of evil, “because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.”
How to prevent that cultural tragedy, which poisons the heart of a just and democratic society, is what Theodore Roosevelt (October 27, 1858–January 6, 1919) examined when he took the podium at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23 of 1910 to deliver one of the most powerful, rousing, and timelessly insightful speeches ever given, originally titled “Citizenship in a Republic” and later included under the title “Duties of the Citizen” in the 1920 volume Roosevelt’s Writings (public library).
A century before Caitlin Moran cautioned that “cynicism scours through a culture like bleach, wiping out millions of small, seedling ideas,” Roosevelt admonishes against “that queer and cheap temptation” to be cynical, and writes:
The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. There are many men who feel a kind of twister pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities — all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. They mark the men unfit to bear their part painfully in the stern strife of living, who seek, in the affection of contempt for the achievements of others, to hide from others and from themselves in their own weakness. The rôle is easy; there is none easier, save only the rôle of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance.
One of the tendencies I find most troubling in contemporary culture is that of mistaking cynicism for critical thinking. This confusion seeds a pernicious strain of unconstructive and lazily destructive opprobrium. Amid this epidemic of self-appointed critics, it becomes harder and harder to remember just how right Bertrand Russell was when he asserted nearly a century ago that “construction and destruction alike satisfy the will to power, but construction is more difficult as a rule, and therefore gives more satisfaction to the person who can achieve it.”
With an eye to those lazy critics — the dead weight of society — Roosevelt offers:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat… The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic, or fop, or voluptuary. There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm, of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder.
The entire twenty-seven-page speech, found in Roosevelt’s Writings and on par with JFK’s superb speech on the artist’s role in society, is a masterpiece of thought and feeling, replete with insight into what it means to be a good citizen, a good leader, and a complete human being. Complement this particular fragment with Leonard Bernstein on the countercultural courage of resisting cynicism, Goethe on the only criticism worth voicing, and philosopher Daniel Dennett on how to criticize with kindness, then revisit Eleanor Roosevelt on how uncynical personal conviction powers social change.
Eat My HatMeaning: Having confidence in a specific outcome; being almost sure about something.
Talk the TalkMeaning:Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence.
If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the KitchenMeaning:One should discontinue with a task if they are unable to cope with it due to pressure.
Fish Out Of WaterMeaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.
Wild Goose ChaseMeaning: Futilely pursuing something that will never be attainable.
Cut The MustardMeaning: To cut the mustard is to meet a required standard, or to meet expectations.
Long In The ToothMeaning: Old in age. Mainly used when referring to people or horses.
A Dime a DozenMeaning: Something that is extremely common.
Throw In the TowelMeaning: Giving up; to surrender.
द्यदालिखति मनः आशावर्तिकाभीः हृदयफलके ।
तत्तद्बाल इव विधिर्निभृतं हसित्वा प्रोञ्छति ॥
Whatever the mind inscribes (paints), with the brushes of desire, on the board of the heart, fate, stealthily smilingly, wipes it all out, like a little child!
भारोऽविवेकिनः शास्त्रं भारो ज्ञानं च रागिणः ।
अशान्तस्य मनो भारः भारोऽनात्मविदो वपुः ॥
– योगवासिष्ठ, वैराग्य
An idiot would find the scriptures heavy.
A person who enjoys worldly pleasures finds knowledge heavy and unbearable.
A restless man finds his mind heavy.
If one does not know his self, he will find his body heavy.
- Yogavasishta, Vairagya
I sought a Feedforward from my Mentees, Friends, Peers, Ex-Bosses and Mentors about this article.
The responses have been most overwhelming, challenging and quite motivating.
1,Thank you AVM from Bengaluru for this fabulous feedforward:
First of all fantastic compilation of the areas which suits very well to what you are doing currently
Below are my rating
- Coach – 10 (Can be one of the best coaches for startups and even top companies, especially with the amount of knowledge you possess with the experiences which you have gone through in life is a great insight for a beginner)
Connector – 10 (Always have seen your eagerness to help after we put across new proposal. The efforts you take to connect with the like minded people will really amaze me always. Kudos to that)
Cheerleader(Exec, startup, Biz) – 10 (Always on A game with the business strategies)
Educator – 10 (Beautiful educator especially the way you connect through your stories. I have had some amazing memories)
Ideator – 10 (This always tops my list. The amount of new ideas you generate on the go after knowing the business is fascinating)
Librarian – 9
Superstart and Idol – 10 (Definetely a great idol and role model for startups)
Challenger – 9 (Have seen instances vey often how to challenge team to get the action done after the strategy meeting)
Teammate – 9 (I have not seen this scenario, so would not like to comment on this. I am sure you would be the best teammate)
Brand – 9 (I liked Jay brand. Surely this goes well and i hope your knowledge reaches to many more lives and impact them immensely)
Coach and Mentor – 10 (Put together all the earlier points)” End Quote.
- Thank you SS from Mumbai on WhatsApp for 9/10 rating. Have requested you to share ratings on all points so that I shall take steps to improve.
- Thank you JJ for your kind comment Quote ” Why write this yourself why not instead make it like. 11 chapters written by 11 different mentees who would focus on that one trait they found most beneficial – in that showing all facets of your mentoring abilities and skill base . Like in style of the “one minute manager”, EndQuote
- A great lady Doctor Dr.SP whose service to humanity is unparalleled wrote in all humility Quote “Thanks sir Personally i feel it is too juvenile for me to answer these questions as you are too good to inspire,stimulate, guide and mentor anyone. We are blessed to have someone of your stature to mentor us.” End Quote.
- JK wrote on WhatsApp – Quote “Very Good Sir, Its impressive” End Quote.
- YS an Ex-colleague wrote in Marathi Quote ” Khup Chhan AAhe! with Two thumbs Up !”End Quote
- VSC wrote from Delhi – Quote” Shall read it thoroughly, As you are one good writer and Very Good Motivator “End quote.
- Retd Cdr. RP from Delhi wrote Quote “Thank you Sir, Seems to be a very well thought of and detailed description of your 11 Approaches” End Quote.
- My old colleague HP from Mumbai/ Kochi wrote: Quote “I perused. The approaches theory is different. You may want to add a bit more of examples in between. I find people respond more to this. Also after going through it thrice, I find it to be too serious, a bit of humour helps. Also you could reduce the repetition of Jay in the whole content as it seems to be too repetitive especially when the paragraphs are not large. You have also ended it very abruptly. You need to phase it out saying Jay is available on ___ etc etc ” End Quote. I shared the 5 Track Thinking behind the Article and what are my plans in the near future with my Peer HP. And I was delighted when he wrote back “Wow. Now I am tongue-tied. Hats off.” Thank you so much HP for kindly reading the article and sharing your insights, and keeping the Secret !
- Dr. (Mrs)S.D. from Pune another peer and Executive Development Trainer and Coach of repute said “Sir it is written very nicely but too lengthy I think”. And I mentioned to her that this is just an Outline of the things to follow and she also agreed “WOW. Look forward to”.
- JS my ex boss and Mentor and a very Senior Consultant from UAE / Dubai/ Abu Dhabi commented: Quote” It’s good .not sure of (Approach) No. 8 though That’s something your mentees should be writing Also not sure whether you should position yourselves as small brand. Others good. You could add sounding board and philosopher too.”End Quote Thank you JS for spending your valuable time to read and share your valuable comments.
- My Senior Cousin, Ex-General from Army, Ex-VC and Health Advisor to a Reputed University in Pune said “Difficult to Comment”. After clarifying the future plans over phone, as my True Connector Mentor; he asked me to write to him on Monday and agreed to introduce to senior University experts on Entrepreneurship, Startup Cells to discuss and carry my plans forward by seeking their collaboration. He agreed to do the honours! WOW! Thank you Dada!
- Mr. BM Mumbai/ Bangalore a current President of a Pharma Co, C-Level Executive Coach and Search consultant of the yesteryears said, Quote”How about (i)using pictures (ii)to weave it into a wonderful story… to begin with?” End Quote. I was privileged to speak to him over phone for 10 minutes to give him the context and plan. His response 👍🏼 “I get the contacts better now”. So there is after all a plan and some mystery surrounding the article
- DJ from Bangalore – a friend I found via Linkedin.com and an International Insurance Expert said, Quote “Beautiful. It captures the essence of what a mentor should be.” After sharing the context and plan – his reaction – “WOW! Look forward to”. Thank you DJ for your time and comments.
- My last Pro-Bono Mentee who went on a Fast track 55 day gruelling Coaching/Mentoring drive with me sent her scorecard: Quote “The score to all questions (except 8 and 9) is 8. (about approach No. 8 can’t say for the other mentees. Approach No. 9 (rating is) 6”
- Feedforward by SS
Chief Revenue Officer / Chief Operating Officer / P&L Head- Media, Health Care, Logistics & Supply Chain and Education
“Mr Parkhe is a wonderful person. He has mentored many people (including myself) who have benefitted immensely by his guidance. Always avaialable to give superb advise when your stuck or in a dilemma. I know of many people who have achieved stupendous success in their lives and careers through Mr Parkhe’s structured and meticulous mentoring. He’s a super coach !”
“Hi sir really a wonderful write up nice narratioN”
17 By BSK
Managing Partner at Text & Print
“Jay it was intEresting reading your work and business profile we are into sportswear manufacturing specially Football.”
Global C Level Retained Executive Search| Technology & Functional Leadership Hiring | Technology Entrepreneur
“Great article and an awesome write-up.”
19 By GK
Army Veteran experienced in Telecom, Security Management, Training, Administration, Procurement & Logistics
“Great synopsis….do connect , we manufacture footwear”
20. By JRI
“Jay is what he says he is, eleven rolled into one. Man of kindness and determination. He had a bit of health problem and the way he came back and started his daily walk one should admire. Kindness I find in him and he stands by what he says to all. I find consultants reluctant to direct another to probable end user, is not the case with Jay. There is a plentifulness in this world that he is ready to share with. Good man to follow. Happy he put it in 11 challenges that others face that he can happily resolve. “
Vice President, Regional Business Unit Brakes Components, Asia-Pacific – CHINA
“Very thoughtfully evaluated and described, variety of roles a mentor has to play. Apart from most important and trustful bond between mentor and mentee, mentor also plays vital role to harness technical, functional emotional, social competence to pursue own goals with determination. This all a experienced Dhananjay can well and truly deliver !! All the best”
22. DG- DELHI
“HI Sir i read it. Difficult for me to comment. People are multi-dimensional beings. I can’t conceptualise ppl by categorising their traits.
If i have to talk about someone i will do it in story form talking about how they experience life n see the world n how different the perspective is. HAPPY TO SERVE. “
23. RS -PUNE – EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR – Top Law Firm and Retired DGP- ED.
“Excellent write up. Summarises your capabilities pretty well. Keep Going.”
24 By SG
Director (Skill Education) PUNE
“Simply I can see , he is the perfect idol for any entrepreneur. All roles with detailed descriptions is truly Amazing. I personally vouch for his strategic inputs on challenges, funnelling our difficulties, make to understand us on focus of business, conceptual thinking , how to break the glass ceiling , I can give more then 10 marks for each role if it is in my hands”
Most appreciated SG. You are very kind – Jay
25.Ms. MK – Mumbai
“DP Sir as we all call him has been a wonderful guide,coach and a mentor to many of us who have been fortunate to work with him.One person who is always ready to embrace change, learn and apply new things and technically updated.These 11 points are just a synopsis of a bigger personality that he is.”
26. By PSB
Chairman of a leading NGO in Karnataka wrote
Quote”Thanks for considering myself to rate your excellency….On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being maximum, i would rate yourself at 9.25 over all…The reasons for 9.25 being:1. Your are creative thinker2. Critical thinker3. Motivational personality4. creates catalyst of mentor development5. impulsive nature6. Go an extra mile to ensure team grows and achieves the goal7. Do excellent background analysis8. Resource partnerThe reasons for 0.75 being:1. May need some time to analyze Students with their past historyand maybe through some physiological tests or studies on students which will help you to analyse them better and can groom based on their strength2. There is always scope for growth and this 0.75 can help you to build that.I feel for our Trust, your mentorship is just too proficient and adroit caliber and we are blessed to have you.”End Quote
In all I received the Ratings from over 100 of my recent mentee.. i wait till 30th April to receive all Feedforward and Scorecard and begin tabulating final scores for my personal improvement and development gap analysis. Meanwhile, There are few bloggers who began following me on www.parkhe.com and were reciprocated on their blogs
Apart from the 250+ personal messages, Smileys, Thumbs Ups, Hi-Fives from busy friends and Mentees and the Likes on the Linkedin Page – these Ladies and Gentlemen who wrote their comments Made my day. Sometimes – even a mentor needs to re-channelise his inward focus and negative energy – OUTWARD and Re-Create one’s own Brand Magic ! Thank you all for your kindness and your valuable time. Most appreciated.
How to disagree well: 7 of the best and worst ways to argue
March 16, 2018 by PAUL RATNER
The hierarchy of disagreement, by Paul Graham.
Many find themselves arguing with someone on the Internet, especially in these days fraught with political tensions. A great tool, the web also seems to drive dispute. It is also a reflection of the larger reality, where divisiveness has spread throughout our society. A classic essay from one of the Internet’s pioneers suggests that there is a way to harness such negative energy of the online world and disagree with people without invoking anger—a lesson that extends far beyond the web.
Paul Graham is an English-born computer programmer with a Ph.D. from Harvard, an accomplished entrepreneur, a VC capitalist as well as a writer. He created the first online store application which he sold to Yahoo and was one of the founders of the famous Y Combinator—a startup incubator that funded over 1,500 startups like Dropbox, Airbnb, Reddit, and Coinbase. Being a true Renaissance man, Graham also studied painting at the Academia di Belle Arti in Florence and the Rhode Island Institute of Design as well as philosophy at Cornell University.
Dubbed “the hacker philosopher” by the tech journalist Steven Levy, Graham has written on a number of subjects on his popular blog at paulgraham.com, which got 34 million pages views in 2015. One of his most lasting contributions has been the now-classic essay ‘How to disagree’ where he proposed the hierarchy of disagreement which is as relevant today as it was in 2008 when it was first published.
Why highly intelligent people suffer more mental and physical disorders
People with high IQ are considered to have an advantage in many domains. They are predicted to have higher educational attainment, better jobs, and a higher income level. Yet, it turns out that a high IQ is also associated with various mental and immunological diseases like depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, ADHD as well as allergies, asthma, and immune disorders. Why is that? A new paper published in the journal Intelligence reviews the literature and explores the mechanisms that possibly underlie this connection.
The study authors compared data taken from 3,715 members of the American Mensa Society (people who have scored in the top 2% of intelligent tests) to data from national surveys in order to examine the prevalence of several disorders in those with higher intelligence compared to the average population.
The results showed that highly intelligent people are 20% more likely to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), 80% more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, 83% more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety, and 182% more likely to develop at least one mood disorder.
When it comes to physiological diseases, people with high cognitive abilities are 213% more likely to have environmental allergies, 108% more likely to have asthma, and 84% more likely to have an autoimmune disease.
Credit: Journal of Intelligence / High intelligence: A risk factor for psychological and physiological overexcitabilities
The researchers turned to the field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) to look for some of the answers. PNI examines how the chronic stress accumulated as a response to environmental factors influences the communication between the brain and the immune system.
The researchers point out that highly intelligent people have tendencies for “intellectual overexcitabilites” and a hyper-reactivity of the central nervous system. On the one hand, this gives people with high IQ heightened awareness that helps their creative and artistic work. In fact, the field of cognitive ability recognizes one aspect of highly intelligent people to be “a broader and deeper capacity to comprehend their surroundings.”
This hyper-reactivity, however, can also lead to deeper depressions and poor mental health. This turns out to be particularly true for poets, novelists and people with high verbal intelligence. Their intense emotional response to the environment increases tendencies for rumination and worry, both of which predict depression and anxiety disorders.
Heightened psychological responses can affect immunity, write the researchers. People with overexcitabilites may have strong reactions to seemingly harmless external stimuli like an annoying clothing tag or a sound. This reaction may turn into low level chronic stress and launch an inappropriate immune response.
When the body believes it is in danger (regardless of whether it is an objectively real one like a toxin or an imagined one like an annoying sound), it launches a cascade of physiological responses that include a myriad of hormones, neurotransmitters and signaling molecules. When these processes are chronically activated, they can alter the body and the brain, dysregulate immune function and lead to conditions like asthma, allergies and autoimmune diseases.
The scientific literature has confirmed the association between gifted children and an increased rate of allergies and asthma. One study shows that 44% of those with an IQ over 160 suffered from allergies compared to 20% of age-matched peers. Тhe exploratory study done by the authors of this latest paper further supports that connection.
Based on their findings and previous studies the researchers have termed this phenomenon the hyper brain / hyper body theory of integration, explaining that:
The overexcitabilities specific to those with high intelligence may put these individuals at risk for hypersensitivity to internal and/or external environmental events. The rumination and worry that accompanies this heightened awareness may contribute to a chronic pattern of fight, flight, or freeze responses which then launch a cascade of immunological events. […] Ideally, immune regulation is an optimal balance of pro- and anti-inflammatory response. It should zero in on inflammation with force and then immediately return to a calm state. In those with the overexcitabilities previously discussed, including in those with ASD, this system appears to fail to achieve a balance and thus inflammatory signals create a state of chronic activation.
Credit: Journal of Intelligence / High intelligence: A risk factor for psychological and physiological overexcitabilities
The authors conclude that it is important to further study the relationship between high intelligence (particularly the top 2%) and illness, especially in order to demonstrate causation and further bring to light the negative aspects of having a high IQ. As they say, “this gift can either be a catalyst for empowerment and self-actualization or it can be a predictor of dysregulation and debilitation” and in order to serve this group, it is important “to acknowledge the rumbles of thunder that follow in the wake of their brilliance.”