It’s very quiet out here, or maybe my mind is just failing me.
I can’t.. I won’t.. I’m not going to make it.
My mind is numb, I’m feeling drowsy.
It’s very quiet out here, or maybe my mind is just failing me.
I can’t.. I won’t.. I’m not going to make it.
My mind is numb, I’m feeling drowsy.
Thank you for reading.
Whenever faced with a situation leading to horns of dilemma; that could cause me to procrastinate, delay, be in double minds like sitting on the horns of Dilemma, I go back to two holy books. 1. A Bible 2. BhagvadGita. I randomly select 2 verses and usually find my answers. I named it as Jay’s Tantra way.
See an example:
This is what Gita said.
Passage: No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me?
This is what the Bible verse said.
See some similarities in the two random verses?
I derived the following meaning – the chosen path is right. I need to concentrate, meditate and be ready for the fight whether or not it happens.
I also know, I have class and it will have to be a really fierce fight, if someone were to oppose or put hurdles in my chosen path.
Sounds simple, NO? I like this technique to work all the time.
I have often said that Just by Watching you can Observe a Lot 🙂 and having an investigator, fraud detectors training helps.
Sometimes, I have dilemma. Mostly the decision is about People who come in my life, stay there, get benefitted, some reciptrocate, some don’t. Some cost me money, some Time, Some deep efforts and some simply gifts and for some I give all that I have.
Then come some moments, decisive when the masks are unpeeled, they fall off, the gloves come off, bad behaviour, attitude, insults start hurting and I realise the my Trust was ill-placed. I have made a huge error of judgement.
In such times, I use Jay’s Tantra. The simplest way is to consult and seek advice from the Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipotent – The Om -HIMSELF. I go to BhagvadGita and choose a random shloka. I also go to a Bible someone gifted me years ago. I take a Verse for Bible.
I then decipher meaning as per my understanding and draw inferences. These are not regular moments, they happen when I have a deep dilemma. It is never a Conscience issue though as Conscientious decisions come to me quick and fast – No problem there.
Today’s Dilemma was solved by these two and I urge readers to try this if you come across such difficult moments in life.
This is what came out as Random Verse from Bible:
This is what came as Random Shloka from Gita
Srimad Bhagavad Gita
Chapter 2 Sloka 70
Yes. I got my answer to the dilemma. That’s Jay’s Tantra. Use it sparingly and only in dire situations with full belief and trust in the Almighty. Amen!
Happy Ganesh Chaturthi to all Readers. A very auspicious day. One of the 3.5 days of Muhurtha – when beginning a new thing is considered Good.
I started with a long walk, Ganapati Darshan and returned with many thoughts, ideas about a start and towards noon got lazy and just slept.
Highlighted ones are my choices for the day.
I believe in Bio-Rhythms. Have done so for over 30 years – ever since I read the book about the research on Bio-rhythms and wanted to buy the Japanese – CASIO watch which showed 3 biorhythms – Physical, Emotional and Intellectual. They also sold Cards in those days where you can calculate your critical days and avoid major financial decisions, Driving, Flying a plane etc. etc. etc.
It was interesting when I found the Apps on Android and iPhones. I downloaded and saw a fourth one added – i.e. Intution ! I said, it is getting interesting. As per initial book if I were to calculate I should have been Dead when I was 58+ i.e. 23 X 28 X 33 days = 58 years, …. days. I did not believe it. The book also talked about how they scientifically studied the Date of birth and time of birth of the Rail, Plane, Sea, Cycle, Bicycle, Car, Bus and Electrical accidents and deaths. It appeared scientific and eventhough a Skeptic I said let us give it a try and it has remained with me as a Daily watch every morning before my morning walks – to watch in the phone.
Today was not supposed to be great. The biorhythm explanation said do and see what Random Phrases turned up this morning.
So overall still an interesting day.
I was reading this commercial from Tony Robbins’ Newsletter ”
When someone asks you for help, how do you respond?
The naive coach tends to “over-commit.”
They feel this heartfelt pressure to help the person, so the say, “Yes! Let me share my solutions with you. I’m committed to your change. Let’s make it happen!”
Why is this naive? Because if you rush in too much as a coach, you might scare the client away!
Or worse yet, you are seen as a “nagging” friend giving them unwanted advice. Ever experience that?
The wise coach knows better. They say, “Great. I’d love to help you.”
Then the wise coach thinks to themselves, “Let’s figure out what kind of client this is.”
You see, there are four different client types. The four types have different goals. They work at different speeds.
And they have completely different expectations for their coach.
When the naive coach “rushes in” to help, they miss out on the client’s type.
They miss what’s really going on.
The wise coach first understands the client’s type, and proceeds accordingly.
Which coach do you think is more effective?
If you ever find yourself giving advice to someone who doesn’t seem to benefit… I have something for you.
Today we will be sharing one of our top strategies for bringing faster, more profound change to coaching clients.
It will also work on anyone in your life who needs your help.”
I come into the later category of coaches – the Naive Coach! I tend to commit fast, stay committed for long and rarely have I failed.
I believe that Flirting Mentor is an Oxymoron just as a term like Naive Coach is, IMHO. A TRUE coach or mentor is neither naive nor a Flirt ! Serious coaches are Committed people and whether they commit early or later is a matter of their mind’s processes and early or late decision making capabilities/ habits – nothing else!
Some very interesting Generated Idioms for the day:
Couple of incidents in the week and the day made me laugh out loud.
On a serious note, Every Mentor and mentee face these situations. The Startpreneurs preparing for bigger competitions ahead need to take inspiration from such random thoughts and using lateral thinking – attribute listing as problem solving triggers to new and innovative ideas
Great Sunday. 5th meeting of Toastmasters in 3rd Club of Bangalore. Young, vibrant crowd mixed with some bearded oldies and middle aged Techies.
Abstract: Let us take an example to understand how coaching benefits employees .M was recently promoted to the post of a Team Manager , something he does not have a lot of experience on . At their first meeting , S asked a couple of questions to M to know more about him , just to get acquainted . In the subsequent meetings , Stanley and Morgan discussed what ‘s strengths and weaknesses were , and what the improvements in skill-sets were that Morgan had to bring back to his job . Over the next few months ,M and S regularly update their progress . They also discuss game play , tactics , and team building .
Let us take an example to understand how coaching benefits employees. M was recently promoted to the post of a Team Manager, something he doesn’t have a lot of experience on. He has been given the task to manage one of the teams in the company, so he sought help from a company coach to help him in understanding the requirements for the job, and to cultivate the right approach for the job. M enrolled for a two day per week course, and was assigned a coach named Stanley, who would be coaching him for the next few months.
S started by asking M to carry a workbook with him, in which M will keep a record of the discussions and guiding points that Stanley will provide to him during the learning. At their first meeting, S asked a couple of questions to M to know more about him, just to get acquainted. Then they discussed how they are going to work together, and with other people, in realizing the goals that have been set.
In the subsequent meetings, S and M discussed what M’s strengths and weaknesses were, and what the improvements in skill-sets were that M had to bring in him to excel at his job. Over the next few months, M and S met regularly to understand and analyze their progress.
They also spent time on discussing game play, tactics, and team building. Stanley constantly referred to his old coaching logs and M’s own workbook as evidences of improvement and encouraged Morgan to keep pushing his boundaries. Mock grills and role-plays were organized to check M’s improvement in team-managing under diverse and difficult scenarios.
At the end of the coaching, M commented on how useful he found the coaching process and how it made him realize the potential inside him that he had no idea he possessed. He is now a successful team-manager and a part-time coach himself to the new employees who join the company.
I am doing a new Learning course about Master 5 key elements of Story Writing/ Telling.
The Key elements are
To Ramp this all up – it is essential to churn some new ideas and I am using the Random Phrases/ Idiom Generation methods. This is close to what I learnt at Dr. Edward de Bono’s Serious creativity and Lateral thinking books and trainings. They are great.
The Hopes Of The Devil. I shall park these for the moments.
A Whistle In The Wind.
Just A Bump On My Head.
If any of our readers have any thoughts, suggestions – they are welcome.
Lastly, let’s not forget that charity begins at home. Unexpectedly helping a friend or family member also counts. The person you help needn’t be a stranger. Now that we’ve got beyond the caveats, let’s look at some reasons why you should practice random acts of kindness.
You genuinely get to help, even if it’s only in a small way
This one’s a real no-brainer. You aren’t being kind if you aren’t helping. By helping someone else, even if it’s only holding a door open, smiling at someone or offering to carry shopping bags, you have genuinely helped. The person you’ve been kind to feels more valued, and who knows? There could be a knock-on effect.
Make others feel good
There are a lot of sad, lonely or depressed people out there. Even if the person you help wasn’t feeling down, you’ll make them feel good. If you’re truly a kind person, this will be one of your prime reasons for practicing random acts of kindness.
Feel good yourself
Although this shouldn’t be the reason why you are kind to others, it will be an inevitable consequence. Psychologists point out that as social creatures, helping others satisfies a very deep need within our psyche. It’s instinctive and inevitable. Your self-esteem will improve because you’ll feel like a “good person.” You may even find yourself smiling to yourself when you think about some act of kindness you’ve carried out or are planning.
Build stronger relationships
When you practice kindness as a habit, and do things you don’t have to do to help people you know, you’ll build stronger relationships. If you are ever in a disagreement or do something silly that isn’t helpful at all, you’re far more likely to be forgiven.
Change someone’s life for the better
You never know when something kind that you do will change someone’s life for the better. I recently read a story about a drug addict who lived on the streets and was always treated like filth. One day, he received a small act of kindness from someone, and it made him realize that he still had worth as a human being. He went on to quit drugs, and later became a motivational speaker. Even a small act of kindness can have very powerful, even life-changing, effects.
Give, and you never know, you may receive when you need it most
I’m not sure if we should believe in instant karma, but one thing is certain: when you help others, they become more willing to help you. Since we all go through difficulties at some point in life, that help can prove to be more important to you than you would ever believe.
Others will pass it forward
Kindness is catching. Has someone ever made your day, and you spend the rest of it spreading the sunshine? That’s what I’m talking about!
You’ll become less judgmental
This is a tough one, but when we start seeing people as human beings and not as “labels” like “worthless drug addict,” a “homeless wastrel” or “sourpuss,” we feel a lot better. Everyone has their own problems, and whether they are to blame for them or not, it’s not our place to judge them. Make a point of helping someone you don’t really like. It’s good practice.
Life will have more meaning to you
If you’re forever planning acts of kindness, or grabbing opportunities to help those in need, you’ll be eager to see what each new day will bring.
Make the world a better place
Imagine if everybody in the world was kind to others. What a wonderful place the world would be! You can’t force others to be kind, but you can do your best, and the kindness contagion will spread. Whether you can help in large ways or small, do what you can to build the momentum.
No Good Comes From A Favor.
Float Like A Brick.
That’s Swimming Against The Tides.
A Light In The Night Is A Night Without Fright.
Glue Doesn’t Stick To Everything.
Quick and Dirty
Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well. The quick trip this year did not expect any result even after a month and I was little depressed. But the Brainwave and Udemy courses I am doing are really balancing.
There’s No I in Team
To not work alone, but rather, together with others in order to achieve a certain goal. The recent attempts to work as a team member without putting skin in the game has not worked. Partner trouble of the past always comes back however much I try to let it go.
Burst Your Bubble
To ruin someone’s happy moment. No I did not and will not do that.
Break The Ice
Breaking down a social stiffness. Hmmm… I think I shall shrink all other social activities and whatever is going on and just focus on 2 or 3 major big ticket items only. I need finishiative myself.
Right Off the Bat
Immediately, done in a hurry; without delay. But it did not yield any results. May be the introduction was not done well or my offerings were wrong or may be I was not seen as the choice or I failed to sell my services well.
I Smell a Rat
A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry. That sinking feeling ! Ahh ! but I am learning lessons on Self hypnosis and they are good. They work.
It’s Not Brain Surgery
A task that’s easy to accomplish, a thing lacking complexity. No. I do not have any simple task in my task list. I must just junk it and fill it up with small simple tasks and steps I can do and applaud myself , pat my own back.
Wonderful, insightful article by a Rocket scientist.
I liked it. Sharing.
No one is perfect. But that’s a very lame excuse! No? I read this article and said. Oh, Gosh! I have the same habits which surface at wrong times. Interesting article for deeper personal introspection and improvement. LIked and shared.
In a study conducted at UCLA, subjects rated over 500 descriptions of people based on their perceived significance to likeability. The top-rated descriptors had nothing to do with being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive (innate characteristics). Instead, the top descriptors were sincerity, transparency, and capable of understanding (another person).
These adjectives, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence. TalentSmartresearch data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable; they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.
Download the SmartNews app and add the Ladders channel to read the latest career news and advice wherever you go.
Likeability is so critical to your success at work that it can completely alter your performance. A University of Massachusetts study found that managers were willing to accept an auditor’s argument with no supporting evidence if he or she was likeable, and Jack Zenger found that just 1 in 2,000 unlikeable leaders were considered effective by their colleagues.
Being likeable is as much about avoiding behaviors that decrease your likeability as it is about magnifying those that increase it. To help you with this, I did some digging to uncover the key behaviors that hold people back when it comes to likeability. Make certain these behaviors don’t catch you by surprise.
It’s great to know important and interesting people, but using every conversation as an opportunity to name-drop is pretentious and silly. Just like humble-bragging, people see right through it. Instead of making you look interesting, it makes people feel as though you’re insecure and overly concerned with having them like you. It also cheapens what you have to offer. When you connect everything you know with whoyou know (instead of what you know or what you think), conversations lose their color.
People are averse to those who are desperate for attention. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over. When you speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, people are much more attentive and persuadable than if you try to show them that you’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than who you know.
My company provides 360° feedback assessments, and we come across far too many instances of people throwing things, screaming, making people cry, and other telltale signs of an emotional hijacking. An emotional hijacking demonstrates low emotional intelligence. As soon as you show that level of instability, people will question whether or not you’re trustworthy and capable of keeping it together when it counts.
Exploding at anyone, regardless of how much they might “deserve it,” turns a huge amount of negative attention your way. You’ll be labeled as unstable, unapproachable, and intimidating. Controlling your emotions keeps you in the driver’s seat. When you’re able to control your emotions around someone who wrongs you, they end up looking bad instead of you.
We all know those people who like to brag about themselves behind the mask of self-deprecation. For example, the gal who makes fun of herself for being a nerd when she really wants to draw attention to the fact that she’s smart or the guy who makes fun of himself for having a strict diet when he really wants you to know how healthy and fit he is. While many people think that self-deprecation masks their bragging, everyone sees right through it. This makes the bragging all the more frustrating, because it isn’t just bragging; it’s also an attempt to deceive.
Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation. You’ll find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
If you want to be likeable, you must be open-minded, which makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is unwilling to listen. Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, where approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require that you believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means that you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick.
The biggest mistake people make in conversation is being so focused on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what’s being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening but that you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.
People gravitate toward those who are passionate. That said, it’s easy for passionate people to come across as too serious or uninterested, because they tend to get absorbed in their work. Likeable people balance their passion for their work with their ability to have fun. At work they are serious, yet friendly. They still get things done because they are socially effective in short amounts of time and they capitalize on valuable social moments. They focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers, remembering what people said to them yesterday or last week, which shows people that they are just as important to them as their work is.
People make themselves look terrible when they get carried away with gossiping. Wallowing in talk of other people’s misdeeds or misfortunes may end up hurting their feelings if the gossip ever finds its way to them, but gossiping is guaranteed to make you look negative and spiteful every time.
While getting to know people requires a healthy amount of sharing, sharing too much about yourself right off the bat comes across wrong. Be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions too quickly. Likeable people let the other person guide them as to when it’s the right time for them to open up. Over-sharing comes across as self-obsessed and insensitive to the balance of the conversation. Think of it this way: if you’re getting into the nitty gritty of your life without learning about the other person first, you’re sending the message that you see them as nothing more than a sounding board for your problems.
Studies have shown that people who over-share on social media do so because they crave acceptance, but the Pew Research Center has revealed that this over-sharing works against them by making people dislike them. Sharing on social media can be an important mode of expression, but it needs to be done thoughtfully and with some self-control. Letting everyone know what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner along with how many times you walked your dog today will do much more harm than good when it comes to likeability.
When you build your awareness of how your actions are received by other people, you pave the way to becoming more likeable.
I go back to the Bible gifted by a friend and Bhagvadgita for answers this time again.
Lamentations 1:9Passage: Her filthiness clung to her skirts; she did not consider her future. Her fall was astounding; there was none to comfort her. “Look, LORD, on my affliction, for the enemy has triumphed.”
yagyaarthaatkarmano anyatra loko ayam karmabandhanah |
tadartham karma kaunteya muktasangah samaachara ||
Arjuna, In this world all actions become causes of bondage, unless they are performed as an offering to God. Therefore, work for the sake of God, without personal attachments.