Random Time Wasters

Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

Writing for that day, which is inevitable to all of us.

I live on Medical Management after Triple bypass procedure was considered unviable.
I have strict Diet Regimen.
I Walk twice or thrice day and my range is 10 to 15 Km per day.
This has helped me get strength in past 4.5 years.
It does not make me Invincible though.
End comes to all.  I wrote these lines for my last day as I may not have that strength left to write them.
My body is broken, I can feel it.
Weak, crushed and beyond repair.
Surely this is the end, surely there’s no coming back from this.
No, it can’t be, it mustn’t be.
How long has it been?
Minutes? Hours?
Who knows.
Somebody will find me soon though.
Ha, as if. This is no time for jokes, stupid mind.
I’m dying.
Is there really no way out of this mess?
No way for me to live?
I’m not ready to die,
I’m not ready for it all to end.
Somebody please find me, I need help.
Somebody, please save me.
I don’t want to die.

It’s very quiet out here, or maybe my mind is just failing me.

It’s peaceful though, I guess.
But I still need to get out of here, but how?
I’m too tired and too broken to do anything,
I’ll need help.
Oh please let help be on the way, I don’t want to die out here.
All alone, lost and forgotten.

I can’t.. I won’t.. I’m not going to make it.

I can’t be saved, it’s too late.
It’s far too late.
I’m going to die.
Oh no, I’m going to die!
Please, not yet, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

My mind is numb, I’m feeling drowsy.

I can’t think straight anymore, I’m too tired.
The world looks distorted, I can’t make sense of any of it anymore.
My mind is numb.

Goodbye world.

Advertisements
Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

RAK – the Random Acts of Kindness Movement . Choose one.

  1. Send flowers to a friend or a family member!
  2. Surprise your parents with flowers
  3. Send a thank you card to someone who has made a difference in your life (a friend, family member, teacher etc.)
  4. Be eco-friendly – unplug electronics when you’re finished using them
  5. Lend a friend a book you think they’d like
  6. Help someone improve, give them constructive feedback
  7. Volunteer your time for a good cause
  8. Visit a friend who’s sick
  9. Make a hot beverage for a friend/family
  10. Support a small, local business as a customer
Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

Random Phrases for 13th Nov. 2018. Creativity and Lateral thoughts.

Things Average Out – Almost daily ! 🙂

 

  1. My Cup of Tea Meaning: Someone or something that one finds to be agreeable or delightful.  My mentor once sadi, ask a stranger for a feedback or a solution to your top of mind problem and you are most likely to get it.  I used this today with a Film maker and sought his advice and what a wonderful discussion we had – educative, enlightening, inspiring and most helpful.  Acting or making films are not my profession. I did Censor films though 🙂 but being considered for a Cast and an interview by a Top director was not my cup of tea.   Advice just flowed and the expert filled many of my knowledge gaps.  Wonderful day today. 

  2. Quick and Dirty Meaning: Things that done with great speed, but as a result, they are not going to work very well. My MacPro is now old and become so slow that I am fed up. The new models have not arrived in India yet and the dealers are trying to push old models with hard sell.  I was looking for a iMac this time as I rarely step out with a laptop but most dealers do not have it in stock in a IT capital of India Bangalore. What a shame !  Are they discontinuing the iMac ? I wonder. 

  3. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses. To go to a CSC or Family Pension Fund office has become a ritual every year for every Senior citizen.  It is sad.  Most CSC’s are not equipped or have slow networks and avoid this lowly paid activity.  I also face issues with my fingerprints 🙂 – the prints don’t match ! WOW 1  So they take the photo of the eyes at few locations where the queues are huge.  Do I have a choice – No!

  4. Quality Time Meaning: Spending time with another to strengthen the relationship. I am loving the Toastmasters.  I started going for their meetups in mid August, was terrified with the Table topics but started my Pathways journey and crossed Level 1. It is working well. I like the time spent. 

  5. Cut To The Chase Meaning: To get to the point, leaving out all the unnecessary details.  The count from a13th May, the Muse and the message, inspiration or negativity is getting buried today.  100k view is still sometime away but mind is at peace and there is no negativity, The heart is pure. Will keep at it by writing more posts and less sharing going forward on this blog. 

  6. Cup Of Joe Meaning: A cup of joe is an American nickname for a cup of coffee. The new mentee which I reluctantly took on board without even meeting is enthusiastic and experienced.  I receptive and when I pushed him to the wall – his response was fantastic.  I like him and may invite him for a cup of Joe 🙂

  7. Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success.  Not attempting to do any such things. All well planned activities and limited Goals and it feels great to measure and keep my eyes on the finish line. 

  8. Plot Thickens: The Meaning: The latest developments have become made the situation very serious.  But I couldn’t care more. Decided not to take ownership or own others’ problems,  not get emotionally invested in any one and give advice only when asked. and keep arms length distance. 

  9. Beating a Dead Horse Meaning: It is unwise to bring up a past resolved issue.  Today is auspicious to close all such matters and resolved to do it. I have started some of my old favorite activities. Whistling, singing, listening to Retro songs and instrumental music and long walks! They are so refreshing. 

  10. Playing For Keeps Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious.  The coming months are promising. Some good opportunities like filming, Global speakership are coming on the horizon with little efforts.  Will attempt new strategies on the  blogs and make both very active. 

Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

Random Phrases. My week. Lateral thoughts

  1. Under Your Nose Meaning: Missing something that should be really obvious. Yes. I obviously missed it. It was long time coming. Should have gauged and anticipated some responses. I tried to keep my nose clean, kept looking beyond my nose on my way forward and missed something right under my nose. It was a terrible mistake. 
  2. Mountain Out of a Molehill Meaning: One who escalates small things and turns them into big problems. Doesn’t this sound very familiar.  Especially in relationships where you get involved and emotionally invested and the professionalism melts away and gives in to sentiments which cloud judgement. The flip side is when the other person manipulates and makes mountain of molehill and you do not have any lateral means to save the relationships.  
  3. Down For The Count Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so. It was a bad sight. All the plans of an ex-mentee went awry by their own design and attitude and mindset. False pride, a deep need of entitlement and gratification did not result in Catharsis and the plot which thickened – did not yield into plans being achieved and inspite of giving full space – failure could not be averted. 
  4. Know the Ropes Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. I have become wiser and more informed, more in-sync now with the Speaker business and enhancing my skills and nuanced learning with the new mentors and evaluators. The Udemy courses I did are wonderful. The interaction with the Writing and Speaking instructors most valuable and fun. 
  5. Jack of All Trades Master of None Meaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them. I remember once getting a couplet Quote “Jack of all trades. Master of many. Jay of tall crusades. Blaster unlike any.” in my praise perhaps.  And a poem
    “We cant see them.
    Their existence is questioned by us.
    Though if by some unfortunate stroke,
    they cross over into our world,
    they are cheap,
    filthy and dangerous.
    But our world is more them,
    than us.
    We cant see this.
    Our existence is questioned there
    Though if by
    some unfortunate stroke,
    we cross over
    into the real world,
    we are unfit, scared
    and dangerous.
    ……………………….
    It is about the so-called
    Elite class and the
    so-called Classless” End Quote.  I loved it then. I now realise that it was only a momentary praise – not even skin deep.  I choose to live and die as MASTER OF NONE and attain Mastery in Servitude – Service Attitude – which helps me serve the Humanity .
  6. Mouth-watering Meaning: Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.  What a spread of Sweets and goodies my wife made for past 3-4 days for Diwali. Just mouth watering. And I am almost breaking my Diet Regimen to taste the savouries.  Wish I had also learnt to make some – though I did dabble and disturb for some time to keep her motivated and give her company.  The Smile was my reward. 
  7. Like Father Like Son Meaning: Resembling one’s parents in terms of appearance or behavior. My daughters – the loving / doting daughters at times display the same behaviour – the appearance is more mother like but mannerisms and logic, the anger, Temper, the drive, grit, determination – much like me =- I pat myself for having great daughters and don’t regret not having a son. 
  8. Ring Any Bells? Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone. A Birthday triggered a memory and I wrote a confession in a post and sent it to the person I had hurt. When words hurt – the pain and wounds take longer to heal so I did not expect any response and predictably there was none.  
  9. Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I am looking for a Fish or a Fishing Rod for 7.5 years post retirement secretly but yet to find it.  Post Heart attacks when the revenue stream dried and dependence on passive income grew – there was no will left to monetise and I continued with my pro-bono work wholeheartedly – All In mentoring. 
  10. Greased Lightning Meaning: Very fast or quick. It still remains my top strength to come to a decision with Lightning speed. It is more now with NeoCortex than the Neo-limbic and that’s even better. 

Thank you for reading.

Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

RAK Movement – Random Acts of Kindness

  1. Buy someone a coffee
  2. Put your phone down and have a conversation with a friend
  3. Start the day right – make breakfast for everyone
  4. We rarely listen to others – ask someone about their day
  5. Who will be making dinner for your family today? Tag, you’re it!
  6. Visit a friend who’s sick
  7. Make a conscious effort to recycle
  8. Save water – take a shorter shower today
  9. See someone struggling with lots of bags? Offer to help them
  10. Wardrobe overflowing? Donate clothes to a charity
Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

Horns of Dilemma and Jay’s Tantra Way

Whenever faced with a situation leading to horns of dilemma; that could cause me to procrastinate, delay, be in double minds like sitting on the horns of Dilemma, I go back to two holy books.  1. A Bible 2. BhagvadGita.  I randomly select 2 verses and usually find my answers. I named it as Jay’s Tantra way.

See an example:

This is what Gita said.

Job 41:10

Passage: No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me?

This is what the Bible verse said.

See some similarities in the two random verses?

  1. The doubt in my heart is born out of ignorance and I need to establish myself in Yoga and stand up for fight- Cut my doubt in the heart with the sword of wisdom.
  2. Who is able to stand against you? There is no one fierce enough to rouse it.

I derived the following meaning – the chosen path is right. I need to concentrate, meditate and be ready for the fight whether or not it happens.

I also know, I have class and it will have to be a really fierce fight, if someone were to oppose or put hurdles in my chosen path.

Sounds simple, NO?  I like this technique to work all the time.

Posted on Jay Readx and Recommends

Random Phrases. Creativity. Day’s Progress

  1. Swinging For the Fences Meaning: Giving something your all.  Yes. Giving All in to the 3 Goals I have set.  Screen time reduced. Walking/ listening time increased. Talk time improving still. Video recordings not on schedule.  
  2. Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  Have to learn to like my voice and face and expressions on the video. After all, others are somehow tolerating me 🙂 
  3. Elvis Has Left The Building Meaning: Something that is all over. Yes. This year too many People, Relationships are over. The pleasure was of course, in giving. Giving to those who can not see – the visually challenged people who will never know their Giver, the benefactor.  
  4. Playing For Keeps  Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious.  Joining my third ToastMasters on coming sunday.  The International Champ Speaker is impressive club leader. Worth learning something from him. 
  5. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted Meaning: It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money.  I thought I negotiated well. To the working class painter of the house I was bit benevolent and did not hard bargain – with the shopkeeper though, it was another matter.  In balance a good deal. 
  6. Cry Wolf Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.  Interesting study I learnt that the highest number of lies are told over phone and the least on the emails. I now understand the meaning of “Plausible deniablility”:) .
  7. Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.  It is not easy to restart Speechcrafting, writing, learning to punctuate but Udemy and online platforms are the new addictions due to great trainers. One of them, I interacted with today few times over a failed PDF and what great responses – speedy, concerned, showed care and full of support for the student – WOW – I told the lady, I shall enroll for her next course.  It made her day.
  8. Jumping the Gun Meaning: Something that occurs too early before preparations are ready. Starting too soon.  No, not making this mistake again.  Have learnt my lessons in the Shani’s Sade Saati year 2018 😦 .   
  9. Ring Any Bells?Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.  Reading some poetry blogs these days. I just keep appreciating them as I know I can never write such great poetry. Some are sad souls but most are very sane inspite of their sorrow, sadness, emotive yet sensible.  The art of writing and the flair and flourish of many of them is so remarkable and I believe they must be atleast 30 to 40 years younger to me.  Great poetry. I love it. 
  10. Scot-free Meaning: Getting away freely from custody, punishment, or any type of risky situation.  What am I scot free from? I wonder. Closeted in my drawing room, glued to my chair and the screen – it is only when I walk slowly, calmly, steadily, haltingly, I feel the fresh breath of air, the cool, Bengaluru weather and the breeze and the moment I sweat – my instincts tell me it is going to rain – and it does. The cool weather returns.  Feels like freedom!