Psychology Quotes Collection by Useful Gen I liked


Mind and Heart


Spiritual understanding is born of harmony between mind and heart.

This harmony of mind and heart does not require the mixing up of their functions.

It does not imply cross-functioning, but co-operative functioning. Their functions are neither identical nor co-ordinate.

Mind and heart must of course be balanced but this balance cannot be secured by pitching the mind against the heart or by pitching the heart against the mind.

It can be attained not through mechanical tension, but through intelligent adjustment.

——-AVATAR MEHER BABA

[Source- Discourses by Meher Baba, volume-I, p-141 (Copyright ©1967 by Adi K. Irani, King’s Rd., Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India]

As reader of palmistry I was scared when one astrologer gave negative connotation of my head and heart lines going together.

  • it had scared me.

Some of my rash decisions in life always told me about my inner conflict between my mind and heart.

It was soothing to read the Masters advice.

I liked this parable : Mathew 13


The Parable of the Sower (sometimes called the Parable of the Soils) is a parable of Jesusfound in the three Synoptic Gospels in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15.

In the story, a sower sows seed and does so indiscriminately. Some seed falls on the path (wayside) with no soil, some on rocky ground with little soil, and some on soil which contained thorns. In these cases the seed is taken away or fails to produce a crop, but when it falls on good soil it grows, yielding thirty, sixty, or a hundredfold.

Jesus then (only in the presence of his disciples) explains that the seed represents the Gospel (the sower being anyone who proclaims it), and the various soils represent people’s responses to it (the first three representing rejection while the last represents acceptance.

I’m a gardener Mentor. I try and die the seeds to make Dreams grow into ambitions, translating into Vision, mission, goals, objectives, action plans, biz, marketing plans etal.

In my efforts, sometimes I come across very distressed mentees. I have to work on making the soil good as they have rocky soil of past bad experiences, thorny soil which does not allow seeds to germinate, or find soil. I spend 5, 13, 26, 52 weeks depending upon the STATE, and SITUATION.

I Sometimes come across Sand, silt or clay land or simply rocky land. Rarely I find delta land ( usualy in C Suite execs) which is fertile . Each gets a different mentor treatment.

It works. There are failures too. As the mentorees stop responding and throw seeds on footpath – it is eaten by birds and pigeons.

In one case, after sowing 150 revenue ideas and rigorously, tilling the land I found failure. I decided to move on. As the farmer/ mentoree just did not understand and allowed my gardening efforts fail.

Sad but true! It happens.

Gardener then moves on too…

The Mentor and the MonaLisa Rhyming Couplet Ideas -Ver 1.0 by Jay


The Mentor and the MonaLisa

Rhyming Couplet Ideas by Jay

See the snuffing of the Mentor,
I think he’s angry at the core.

He finds it hard to see the accidental,
Overshadowed by the brainy rental.

Who is that practicing near the coat?
I think she’d like to eat the goat.

She is but a cunning rani,
Admired as she sits upon a sirianni.

Her crazed Snake is just a Car,
It needs no gas, it runs on double Bar.

She’s not alone she brings a Helix,
a pet Frog, and lots of felix.

The Frog likes to chase a Monolith,
Especially one that’s in the rhinesmith.

The Mentor shudders at the sarcastic goat
He want to leave but she wants his coat.

See ver 2.0 on my blog https://csuitementor.blogspot.com/

The Living – An Original Song by Jay Parkhe


The Living

By Jay

An Original Song

I get on with life as a princess,
I’m a smelly kinda person.
I like singing in a choir and breeding guppies.
I like to contemplate the living.
But when I start to daydream,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can’t disguise.
But I think it’s the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or…
The Dead?

I like to use words like ‘crikey’ and ‘twizzle.’
I like to use words about the living.
But when I stop my talking,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can’t disguise.
But I think it’s the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or…
The Dead?

I like to hang out with Wily and Will.
But when left alone,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!

Sometimes I look at myself and I look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can’t disguise.
But I think it’s the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or…
The Dead?

I hate losing card games and headless chickens.
But I just think back to the dead,
And I’m happy once again.

Oh oh oh!

Sharing my fav Newsletter – Brainpickings.org weekly digest.


This is the brainpickings.org weekly digest by Maria Popova. If you missed last week’s edition — Bertrand Russell on what makes a fulfilling life, an illustrated celebration of the many meanings and manifestations of love, an immigrant’s tale — you can catch up right here. And if you’d like to try something new/old, I’ve launched another newsletter that comes out every Wednesday, offering a midweek pick-me-up — something inspiring and uplifting culled from the twelve-year Brain Pickingsarchive. You can sign up for that here. If you’re enjoying my labor of love, please consider supporting it with a donation – each month, I spend hundreds of hours and tremendous resources on it, and every little bit of support helps enormously. If you already donate: THANK YOU.

Kahlil Gibran on the Courage to Weather the Uncertainties of Love

“Love is the quality of attention we pay to things,” poet J.D. McClatchy wrote in his beautiful meditation on the contrast and complementarity of love and desire. And what we choose to attend to — our fear or our faith, our woundedness or our devotion to healing — determines the quality of our love. How we navigate our oscillation between these inescapable polarities is governed by the degree of courage, openness, and vulnerability with which we are willing to show up for and to our own hearts. “The alternations between love and its denial,” philosopher Martha Nussbaum observed in contemplating the difficulty of knowing ourselves“constitute the most essential and ubiquitous structural feature of the human heart.”

That is what the great Lebanese-American poet, painter, and philosopher Kahlil Gibran (January 6, 1883–April 10, 1931) explores in one of the most stirring passages from The Prophet (public library) — the 1923 classic that also gave us what may be the finest advice ever offered on the balance of intimacy and independence in healthy relationships.

Kahlil Gibran, self-portrait

Speaking to the paradoxical human impulse to cower before the largeness of love — to run from its vulnerable-making uncertainties and necessary frustrations at the cost of its deepest rewards — Gibran offers an incantation of courage:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

Illustration from An ABZ of Love, Kurt Vonnegut’s favorite vintage Danish guide to sexuality

In a sentiment John Steinbeck would come to echo a generation later in his beautiful letter of advice on love to his teenage son, Gibran adds:

Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

The Prophet remains a timeless trove of wisdom and a mighty clarifying force for the turbidity of the heart. Complement it with Gibran on why we make art and his stunning love letters, then revisit Adrienne Rich on how honorable relationships refine our truths, Erich Fromm on the art of loving and what is keeping us from mastering it, Leo Tolstoy on love and its paradoxical demands, and this wondrous illustrated meditation on the many meanings and manifestations of love.

London Cabbie, Brain, Navigation and Hippocampus


Did you know…

… that today is Cabbie Brains Day? In 2000, researchers at the University College of London announced research showing that the brains of London cab drivers grow and adapt to help them keep a detailed mental map of the city of London.

Brain scans revealed that cab drivers have unusually large development in one area of the hippocampus — the part of the brain which deals with navigation.

~~~

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”

— Jon Katz

Interesting Quote, Pseudo-variants and Provoking Phrases of the day


Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don’t matter,

and those who matter don’t mind.”

— Bernard M. Baruch

Recently I read a variant / pseudo version of the above phrase and I was thinking – LOL ! 🙂

  • Poke Fun At
    Meaning: 
    Making fun of something or someone; ridicule.

    When you lose your originality, you search the web.  When your borrowed phrases exhaust and your plagiarism is exposed, one chooses to get back at people by twisting, twirling, modifying, stretching, shortening Quotes to misuse, abuse and put to disuse in order to Poke Fun At people who reveal your Truth but hold back due to professional secrecy. 

  • Elephant in the Room
    Meaning: 
    Ignoring a large, obvious problem or failing to address an issue that stands out in a major way.

    People who skirt, deflect and avoid issues while taking stances which are aggressive, abrasive and false pretenses but when they are exposed, their falsehood is open they still do not have the courage to see the Elephant in the room and behave like blind, deaf, mute people showing off their ‘Handicap'(as in Golf) to save the Facepalm moments. 

  • Beating Around the Bush
  • Meaning: 
  • Someone who is beating around the bush is someone who avoids the main point.
  • This is Self-Explnatory.

The people I am talking about have three distinct qualities.

First, they are willing to disagree ferociously, but talk civilly, (writing blasphemously with full blown profanity when challenged) about nearly every meaningful subject: religion, abortion, immigration, the nature of consciousness.

Second, in an age in which popular feelings about the way things ought to be often override facts about the way things actually are, each is determined to resist parroting what’s politically convenient using memory of convenience, logic of convenience and in the end wanting to make you see their TRUTH as your truth. Some of them are Pseudo-intellectuals and at last count someone said there are 150 of them in Delhi alone who are peddling some media house plan asking for Rs.5 Crores and finally willing to settle for as little as Rs. 5000 !

And third, some have paid for this commitment by being purged from institutions that have become increasingly hostile to unorthodox thought — and have found receptive audiences elsewhere – which includes Commies, pseudo-Marxists, pseudo Nihilists, Maoists and Wayfarers who wish to overthrow the government by hook or crook – they are seditionists who indoctrinate people into being brainwashed under the influence of Drugs and fake Love.

Inappropriate, Fell short. Random input phrases to Provoke Thoughts


  1. Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees
    Meaning: 
    Suggests that money is a resource that must be earned and is not one that’s easily acquired.

    Expecting Acts of Kindness? Expecting delivery on a platter without doing any Efforts?  Well. Learn to create many many sources of generating passive income. Some may actually work and then the saying can come true. 

  2. Hit Below The Belt
    Meaning: 
    A boxing term. Also often used to refer to inappropriate words, or comments that are too personal.

    Risk and Crisis Management.

  3. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: 
    Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end.

    It is OK. It is still a development gap. We lack FINISHIATIVE in the Race that we run and prepare to run again. Not all are able to FINISH the tasks on time all the time. So don’t get disheartened. Wake up . Prepare, Rise and begin again !

I call it Completion Gene or FINISHIATIVE – for Startpreneurs !


Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“It doesn’t matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, ‘I have finished.’ There is a lot of satisfaction in that.”

— Fred Lebow

What is FINISHIATIVE. WHY DID JAY PARKHE COIN THIS TERM?

Do you remember the old saying? Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. When it comes to starting your own startpreneurship business, this saying really hits the nail right on the head.

Business is only going to come to life if we do the things you need to do to bring it to fruition. If we continue to put off the things w need to do to get our business started until tomorrow–we’re too busy at work, or our children need us to pick them up at the mall, your wife wants you to watch a popular new TV show–then when will you ever get around to doing them?

Being a successful Startpreneur takes more than thinking about it, talking about it, or dreaming about it. It takes more than telling your friends that you would like to start your own business one day. It takes more than reading a copy of magazine It takes more than reading this blog.

Startpreneur requires  action–we have to set goals, establish tasks, and then complete them. It’s not the size of the goals or the tasks that counts, it’s the doing that is everything.

Home-based business experts Paul and Sarah Edwards, say that the number-one ingredient for success in starting and growing a home-based business is something all of us have in varying quantities: the Completion Gene.

The Completion Gene is the habit based on psychological need to follow through on what you start and see it to the end–whether it be preparing a proposal, doing a project for a client, or seeing a business through its up and down cycles.

In short, the Completion Gene is what separates successful small business owners from the wannabes, and it’s the thing that can have the biggest impact on your success as an entrepreneur.

So, what are the key components of the Completion Gene? There are two:

Short term: Getting things done. This is waking up every day and taking steps towards achieving your goals. Some day, it may mean buying business cards for your new business, or applying for a business license or hiring a lawyer to help you incorporate your business. Or it may mean researching your idea on the Internet or calling prospective clients to find out who might be interested in buying the products or services that you intend to offer for sale. You cannot build a business without taking these short-term, but important, steps.
Long term: Persistence. The idea of a business overnight success is as uncommon as the proverbial 99 Rupee Note. In reality, the latest craze or hot item is most often the result of years of hard work and perseverance. #

You might have the greatest idea since sliced bread but, if you aren’t willing or able to hang in with it for the long haul, then you’ll potentially miss enjoying the gold at the end of your rainbow.
You may not think you were born with the Completion Gene but, believe me, it’s there deep inside you.

The Completion Gene is built into each one of us–it’s standard equipment from the factory. If you haven’t seen your Completion Gene lately, you might need to dust it off before you’ll have an opportunity to give it a workout. The more you exercise it, the stronger it will get. And the stronger it gets, the closer you will be to living your dreams instead of just dreaming them.

5 Minute Mentor Mentee Interview.


Whether you are a Mentor or you wish to be a C Suite Mentee The following can provide you a quick way to break the ice in an early mentoring meeting (with thanks to the Independent newspaper).
The answers don’t have to be written down – this is to create conversation. Fundamental to this interview are two main Communication Pillars which make the Mentee understand that :
1. The Mentor will Reveal himself Transparently. Reciprocity is expected/ appreciated. Confidentiality is maintained.
2. The Mentor ‘Provokes’ ! Be Ready for this, Challenge is good, Provocation leads to bringing out the Best in you !

Both mentee and mentor can answer these questions:
• If you weren’t talking to me right now you’d be …
• The catch- phrase/s you use far too often is …
• I wish people would take more notice of …
• The most surprising thing that happened to me was …
• A common misconception (idea) of mine is …
• I am not a politician, but …
• I am good at…
• I am not very good at…
• The best day / night out is …
• The best age to be is …
• In a nutshell, my philosophy is …
• I light up when…
• If I could learn any language I would learn..

via (8) #37 – 5 Minute Mentor.Mentee Interview – C Suite Mentoring. | LinkedIn

Story Telling – The Story for Stan F. Smith (?)


I am not sure, if Stan F. Smith was his correct name. I met the gentleman in 7th Floor Free Ward of Jaslok Hospital in year 1979.  No. He did not present a pleasant sight. His half the Skull had stitches in his bald head and he had been operated for Fileria ( Haathi Panv) but still had one leg hugely swollen and he had difficulty walking with his walking stick.

But one night, he came to my hospital bed and when I was looking for a Bed pan and could not wake up the nurses by ringing the bell – he gave me one.  I could not sleep all 8 nights I was operated but I instantly liked the gentleman.  We decided to become friends.  I learnt that the nurses do not answer to the bells in the night.  Stan would personally go to the patients in need of water, bed pans, urine pots or wake up the junior doctors if someone looked serious or showing symptoms of heart attack or panic.

As we both could not sleep, we began taking rounds of the other wards. I had a knee surgery but I was able to walk. Stan had to take some effort but he was game for it.  We managed to make friends with JUDOs the Junior Doctors and began having jokes with them. We would do numerology and I was good at palmistry then and would predict love affairs, marriage, private practice etc. what the JUDOs liked to listen and have fun at.

One day I asked Stan what he used to do for a living as he was a patient here for over an year. He said he was a marketing consultant living in Malad a Mumbai suburb.  I asked him what does it mean.  I was working in a village bank branch and had just become a field officer with Madras Fertilizers after one year of apprenticeship.  I was trying to do a British Institute Marketing Management correspondence course.  So Stan explained. He said In Mumbai which is country’s biggest retail market – you can sell anything.  Anything ! he reinforced and said – Including plain DIRT !

I was astounded.  I said how?  He said we are in Pedder Road and you can see all the high rise buildings with their luxury apartments around.  He said many of them are people who came as paupers from villages and made it rich – Mumbai was Indian Poor man’s American Dream even in those days !

He said, you live in a village and must have observed when people come back from toilets they rub their hands in dirt before washing them.  Reason: Toilet soaps are not very common in villages. I said yes. True.  He said,  People may have become multi-millionaires and may live in these skyscrapers – some of their habits are age old.  If you filter dirt, soil of different colours and make small 50 gramme packets and say Toilet Mitti (Soil) – it will sell.  He said you can bring in variants, of colours, quantity, packaging and even claim this comes form UP, RAJASTHAN, BIHAR, MP etc. etc. and people would flock to buy it.

People in Mumbai like to buy on footpaths as they are very busy people catching buses, train, taxis all the time.  The rich move near seashores and gardens.  He said Have a large umbrella and put up a stall near these places and begin selling.  He had my attention, Focus, his STATE had my empathy and I was flabbegasted by his FREE Advice to a youngster.

Over the years, we lost touch and 39 years later I am not sure, if I shall ever see Stan but I know one thing he was one hell of a marketeer who UNDERSTOOD People, Their NEEDS, Their purchasing power, Indian Psyche, The Places where they frequent, The places where they will buy.  He also advised on packaging and marketing and promotion and he said – word of mouth is the best publicity.   Rich people like to bargain the most – allow them to and let them have the last laugh and he would say you would still be reaping profits.

9 years later, I became a student of Marketing Management in Pune and I remembered my friend Stan and narrated this story to one of my Marketing Gurus and he said WOW ! I want to meet this man.  But Alas, i had no clue where he was.

Marketing as i learnt is all about Psyche’ / knowing the customer needs, buying behaviour, pattern, purchasing power and then pitching with your product/ service with different creative innovative techniques.

Below is a link I liked about Story telling from TedX shows that I like to watch from YouTube.

let me know which Hormone was activated after reading this story in you?  I am usually good at story telling as they are real life experiences but this time I am following the Art and Science of Story telling  following an expert.  May be, one day I shall appear on YouTube with my stories or well may be, become a Storyteller Paid Speaker.  🙂

 

Story Telling is an Art and Science

4C – Mentoring Technique & Diamonds in the Sky and Darkening of light


As a mentor I sometimes use 4C technique of mentoring. It’s origins are in the 4 C qualities of the purest diamonds. which are known as Color Clarity, cut and Carat Weight and as Mentor I made some notes to self below:

  • Respect your belief that we are all One Man Company first.
  • We are all in our own right, Small budding brands.
  • We have a place in the Sun.
  • We have a place in the skies!
  • Which part of sky belongs to me?
  • Which set of Starry diamonds my brand resembles?
  • Am I going to be the brightest and shiniest one?
  • Or a small simple Solitaire – invaluable Brand?
  • Sometimes though we see a DARKENING OF THE LIGHT around us even in the Bright Sun!
  • This masks all our shine, brightness and all the Dimond like qualities in us.
  • We all have our stars and we are all Celebrities in our own minds and hearts and the Glow and the halo spreading from our idols/ icons sometimes overshadows our own 4 C’s.
  • The more we allow this to happen to us we become Ex-celebrities in our own mind.  Sometimes, Gods and circumstances are against us.
  • We lose our celebrity status, the paradigms shift, the clocks are reset, the Computers and our life is pushed by a Reset button and to Comeback is the toughest challenge we face.
  • I designed my 4 C – Comeback Celebrity’s Crazy Coach program for some of such great souls who were in the sky, searching for their space in the darkening of the light.
  • There is a saying that when light goes down, it may be wise to become invisible.
  • The image is of fresh darkness, the period is just after sunset or a fire has gone out.
  • There is still much activity left over from the light of day, and movements in the outer world are at their most dangerous. 
  • Even the smallest sound, the faintest glow of light, can attract unwanted attention.
  • It is said that when the darkness of stupidity reigns in our human affairs, it is best that we keep your brilliance “hidden under a bushel basket!”
  • Let your thoughts and efforts therefore be quiet, self-contained, and protected, as much as possible, from harmful influences, negative people, unwanted interruptions of Technology which forces us to Read and Write SMS, WhatsApp, eMails etc. and forces us not to listen and makes us speechless – or DUMB !
  • Don’t let yourself be swept along on the current of conventional wisdom when dangerous uncertainties exist.
  • Try not to become too depressed or anxious; such periods will also pass.
  • Just endure it for now and inwardly preserve your self-confidence, while outwardly remaining cooperative and flexible.
  • The time to assert yourself will come.
  • Avoid looking too far ahead if you have not yet achieved your goals – that will only bring regret and longing, which can eat away at your inner strength.
  • So, be cautious and reserved.
  • Control yourself.
  • Do not needlessly stimulate forces of opposition.
  • During dark, unsettled periods, it is best to step gingerly around sleeping dogs.

The climax of the dark ties has arrived, and the darkness has begun to consume even itself. When negative energy is finally spent, people of intelligence and good spirit naturally re-emerge, and gain positions of rightful prominence.

So How does the future look like?

Just Visualize -GRACE AND BEAUTY

Diamonds in the Sky are so Graceful. Diamonds in the Real Life are so precious and Beautiful.

  • Imagine that there is a splashy sunset that bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river.
  • Grace and beauty adorn the natural world.
  • Grace is neither an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing.
  • By itself, it is form without content.
  • Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon.
  • Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.
  • Grace brings success in small matters.
  • In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the choreography of the dance; the musician giving life to a musical score; the painter becoming one with brush and canvas.
  • In human affairs, grace is aligned with mastery of aesthetic and cultural forms honed by time and honored by tradition.
  • When we appreciate graceful forms in human culture, we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the struggle for survival.
  • The Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions.
  • Do Take care to lend grace and dignity to small matters, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence.

Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.

Interesting Ugly Phrases from generator today :)


  1. Eat My Hat
    Meaning: Having confidence in a specific outcome; being almost sure about something.
  2. Talk the Talk
    Meaning: 
    Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence.
  3. If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen
    Meaning: 
    One should discontinue with a task if they are unable to cope with it due to pressure.

Jay Parkhe’s C.A.L.M. Approach to Mentoring and Greased Lightening


One of the Sub-Approaches within his Professional Mentoring Practice Jay Parkhe uses is named by him as CALM – Concentrated, Accelerated, Learning Methods.  There is nothing calm about it.  And the usual Perceptive feedback/ Feedforward he received form his Direct reports 22 years ago and his latest Mentees is no Different.  “Jay, you are too fast paced for us”.  Yes, Jay is a man in a hurry and in the Give mode, he likes to share all that he have – no holds barred to every Coached / Mentee.  Let me take a phrase that comes to my mind. It is called Greased Lightning”  Its  Meaning is :  Simply “Very fast or quick.”and the Concentration has different Learning connotation – Acceleration comes from this word called Greased Lightning and that defines Jay’s style of mentoring.

Jay derives motivation from Serena Williams quote, “At my age, I see the finish line. And, when you see the finish line, you don’t slow down. You Speed up.”

The Concentrated Learning Method is rather simple.  I learnt it from a Volunteer lady who came to teach children some 12 years ago to a school TNT was funding called ‘Parikrma Foundation”.  What I learnt from her ( sorry, I forgot her name – my senior moments 🙂 ) but the learning was precious.

She said she is teaching Kindergarten school children 4 things:  ” READ, WRITE, LISTEN and SPEAK”.

I used this for Adult learning, coaching, mentoring as a Tool/ technique and it is a fiercely KickAss Mentor training, as it was my belief that Adults already are Learned people and they would soon understand.  Only I brought in the Technology perspective here and that changed the Mentee, coached or my Direct reports perceptions totally and invoked the “too fast paced”comment.  Let me explain. How does Reading, Writing, Listening, Speaking happen in a MNC Corporate environment?  What are the tools  and techniques and Technology at the command of Senior Executives and C-Level Executives. Tremendous. The back room IT solutions provider team makes more and more user friendly softwares and solutions to help the often IT illiterate C-Level Executive or the aspirant for those positions.  Being a FAST TRACK recruiter I found the MBAs, Freshers from B school more literate and able to adopt the technology that seniors.

So what does this Method entail.  I ask Coachee/ Mentees

Read : Reading habits, Reading times, Any habits of note taking, Best times of undisturbed reading, Type of reading – fiction/ non-fiction, poetry etc. Then I ask about reading SMS, WhatsApp, SnapChat, Facebook Posts, Linkedin Posts and Influencer articles, Kindle e-books etc. I also focus on their email reading habits – the average time spent, the total time taken to read and respond to mails and electronic message.  Millennials are faster, sharper, adopt technology well and use smartphone, ipads, tablets, laptops well.  Then I test them on their Reading skill with Best and worst readability short and long messages and mails. Sometimes flooding them with important and unimportant messages.

What I notice or observe just by observing is : Short or longer attention span, What they like to read and from whom.  The time of the day when they are most or least receptive and also gauge their response time and setting of priorities. Many Crack, Some give feedforward – They Win.  Some Keep quiet but stop responding – They lose.

Sometimes I also ask them to read aloud their emails just to see their own reactions to some of the words they use in their messages/ mails.  It is wonderful and makes people realise where they can get better and still better.  It helps.

Write:  I sometimes provoke and test them on their short and long hand messages.  Their precis writing skills, the use of jargons, the cliche’s and the slang, abbreviations, abusive words marked with S@#4 or F#$% etc. etc. – Feedforward again works when they are requested to Read aloud the SHORT and long messages and email to gauge the impact this will have on the receivers of the messages.  I also introduce here some of the latest technology, tools, browser extensions, abstract writers, phrase generators etc. and some CRM tools like RocketBolt, Boomerang, Mailtrack and Grammarly etc.  These help me to gauge their Diction, vocabulary and refine their language depending upon their stage to prepare for the C-Level positions.  For Entrepreneurs and business people it becomes tortuous but if they are chasing a big dream and ( I do not coach or mentor anyone who does not have a big dream any way)  wish to be a Corporate some day or a Unicorn = they know what they are lacking.  I sometime comfort them by saying that you recruit the best of Executive Assistant with a flair for official writing, business writing, Report writing, Pitch writing, Appraisal feedback writing etc.  All of this is usually taken well and people know their areas where they have to get better. 

Listen:  This works both ways. Sometimes, as Coach / Mentor I monopolise the talk time and make the coachee/ Mentee fret and fume for not getting a chance to speak.  I also tell them that interruptions are bad as they come in the way of a brainwave/ thought process of the speaker.  It irritates them like hell. I then begin to count their number of interruptions and point them to improve. Sometimes, I just go quiet and respond only in monosyllables or do not respond to many messages – but write one curt, short or long mail covering all important points from my perspective ignoring deliberately what is important from Mentee’s point of view.  This is to make them understand that the listener also need Accuracy, Brevity and clarity just as the written communicator needs. Long periods of quiet can hurt both ways and if the Coacheee/ mentee begins to go into quietude/ silence or starts cursing under the breath – these are tell-tale signs that the Coaching may not last longer as they have begun to crack.  Some mentees actually get very angry at these provocative, challenging but SILENT interventions and CRACK ! 

Speak: This one is the most interesting part.  Many people choose Mixed – Khichdi ( use of colloquial, ethnic terms) when the listener has no clue, no context, no perspective and they struggle to find meaning into what is being said.  Some feel most comfortable using local language phrases, idioms, cliche’s which they are not so adept at translating and expect the listener to be the know all.  Some take offence being asked to repeat as they mumble or speak their local language mumbo-jumbo which often sound Greek and Roman to listener.  Some speakers are so philosophical that they HAVE to quote the likes of Plato, Aristotle or bring in some Great Poet like Rumi into their conversations that the listener struggles with the meanings all the time. 

For the Slang users I tell them to search Google for Mentor Lyrics in the most explicit language and practice.  They give up after some time saying it is so GROSS ! 🙂

Some are fluent, some speak at 50 w p m and beat Stephen Hawkins while others beat the Ferrari’s and speak 160+ words per minute.  It takes an effort to discipline them and make them audience focused, audience centric and understand those for whom they are speaking.

In all, it is an enjoyable CALM learning technique.

Next I follow up only with the C-Level is : Tell, Sell, Inform, Consult, Advice or Ask – difference in the communication.

For project managers the RACI or RASCI are better  examples of communication and many a times it is the best technique to use with Startups too.

Thicken the Plot – Bring Potboiler to BOIL!


  1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place
    Meaning: 
    Being faced with two difficult choices.
  2. Jaws of Death
    Meaning: 
    Being in a dangerous or very deadly situation.
  3. On the Ropes
    Meaning: 
    Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless!
  4. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: 
    Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.
  5. Down To Earth
    Meaning: 
    Practical or humble; unpretentious.
  6. Dropping Like Flies
    Meaning: 
  7. To fall down ill or to die in large numbers.

Psychology Quotes collection


via Dhananjay Parkheº’s Mentoring Blog: Psychology Quotes Collection by Useful Gen I liked

 

Psychology Quotes Collection by Useful Gen I liked