Writing for that day, which is inevitable to all of us.


I live on Medical Management after Triple bypass procedure was considered unviable.
I have strict Diet Regimen.
I Walk twice or thrice day and my range is 10 to 15 Km per day.
This has helped me get strength in past 4.5 years.
It does not make me Invincible though.
End comes to all.  I wrote these lines for my last day as I may not have that strength left to write them.
My body is broken, I can feel it.
Weak, crushed and beyond repair.
Surely this is the end, surely there’s no coming back from this.
No, it can’t be, it mustn’t be.
How long has it been?
Minutes? Hours?
Who knows.
Somebody will find me soon though.
Ha, as if. This is no time for jokes, stupid mind.
I’m dying.
Is there really no way out of this mess?
No way for me to live?
I’m not ready to die,
I’m not ready for it all to end.
Somebody please find me, I need help.
Somebody, please save me.
I don’t want to die.

It’s very quiet out here, or maybe my mind is just failing me.

It’s peaceful though, I guess.
But I still need to get out of here, but how?
I’m too tired and too broken to do anything,
I’ll need help.
Oh please let help be on the way, I don’t want to die out here.
All alone, lost and forgotten.

I can’t.. I won’t.. I’m not going to make it.

I can’t be saved, it’s too late.
It’s far too late.
I’m going to die.
Oh no, I’m going to die!
Please, not yet, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

My mind is numb, I’m feeling drowsy.

I can’t think straight anymore, I’m too tired.
The world looks distorted, I can’t make sense of any of it anymore.
My mind is numb.

Goodbye world.

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RAK – the Random Acts of Kindness Movement . Choose one.


  1. Send flowers to a friend or a family member!
  2. Surprise your parents with flowers
  3. Send a thank you card to someone who has made a difference in your life (a friend, family member, teacher etc.)
  4. Be eco-friendly – unplug electronics when you’re finished using them
  5. Lend a friend a book you think they’d like
  6. Help someone improve, give them constructive feedback
  7. Volunteer your time for a good cause
  8. Visit a friend who’s sick
  9. Make a hot beverage for a friend/family
  10. Support a small, local business as a customer

Random Phrases. My week. Lateral thoughts


  1. Under Your Nose Meaning: Missing something that should be really obvious. Yes. I obviously missed it. It was long time coming. Should have gauged and anticipated some responses. I tried to keep my nose clean, kept looking beyond my nose on my way forward and missed something right under my nose. It was a terrible mistake. 
  2. Mountain Out of a Molehill Meaning: One who escalates small things and turns them into big problems. Doesn’t this sound very familiar.  Especially in relationships where you get involved and emotionally invested and the professionalism melts away and gives in to sentiments which cloud judgement. The flip side is when the other person manipulates and makes mountain of molehill and you do not have any lateral means to save the relationships.  
  3. Down For The Count Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so. It was a bad sight. All the plans of an ex-mentee went awry by their own design and attitude and mindset. False pride, a deep need of entitlement and gratification did not result in Catharsis and the plot which thickened – did not yield into plans being achieved and inspite of giving full space – failure could not be averted. 
  4. Know the Ropes Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. I have become wiser and more informed, more in-sync now with the Speaker business and enhancing my skills and nuanced learning with the new mentors and evaluators. The Udemy courses I did are wonderful. The interaction with the Writing and Speaking instructors most valuable and fun. 
  5. Jack of All Trades Master of None Meaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them. I remember once getting a couplet Quote “Jack of all trades. Master of many. Jay of tall crusades. Blaster unlike any.” in my praise perhaps.  And a poem
    “We cant see them.
    Their existence is questioned by us.
    Though if by some unfortunate stroke,
    they cross over into our world,
    they are cheap,
    filthy and dangerous.
    But our world is more them,
    than us.
    We cant see this.
    Our existence is questioned there
    Though if by
    some unfortunate stroke,
    we cross over
    into the real world,
    we are unfit, scared
    and dangerous.
    ……………………….
    It is about the so-called
    Elite class and the
    so-called Classless” End Quote.  I loved it then. I now realise that it was only a momentary praise – not even skin deep.  I choose to live and die as MASTER OF NONE and attain Mastery in Servitude – Service Attitude – which helps me serve the Humanity .
  6. Mouth-watering Meaning: Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.  What a spread of Sweets and goodies my wife made for past 3-4 days for Diwali. Just mouth watering. And I am almost breaking my Diet Regimen to taste the savouries.  Wish I had also learnt to make some – though I did dabble and disturb for some time to keep her motivated and give her company.  The Smile was my reward. 
  7. Like Father Like Son Meaning: Resembling one’s parents in terms of appearance or behavior. My daughters – the loving / doting daughters at times display the same behaviour – the appearance is more mother like but mannerisms and logic, the anger, Temper, the drive, grit, determination – much like me =- I pat myself for having great daughters and don’t regret not having a son. 
  8. Ring Any Bells? Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone. A Birthday triggered a memory and I wrote a confession in a post and sent it to the person I had hurt. When words hurt – the pain and wounds take longer to heal so I did not expect any response and predictably there was none.  
  9. Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I am looking for a Fish or a Fishing Rod for 7.5 years post retirement secretly but yet to find it.  Post Heart attacks when the revenue stream dried and dependence on passive income grew – there was no will left to monetise and I continued with my pro-bono work wholeheartedly – All In mentoring. 
  10. Greased Lightning Meaning: Very fast or quick. It still remains my top strength to come to a decision with Lightning speed. It is more now with NeoCortex than the Neo-limbic and that’s even better. 

Thank you for reading.

Horns of Dilemma and Jay’s Tantra Way


Whenever faced with a situation leading to horns of dilemma; that could cause me to procrastinate, delay, be in double minds like sitting on the horns of Dilemma, I go back to two holy books.  1. A Bible 2. BhagvadGita.  I randomly select 2 verses and usually find my answers. I named it as Jay’s Tantra way.

See an example:

This is what Gita said.

Job 41:10

Passage: No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me?

This is what the Bible verse said.

See some similarities in the two random verses?

  1. The doubt in my heart is born out of ignorance and I need to establish myself in Yoga and stand up for fight- Cut my doubt in the heart with the sword of wisdom.
  2. Who is able to stand against you? There is no one fierce enough to rouse it.

I derived the following meaning – the chosen path is right. I need to concentrate, meditate and be ready for the fight whether or not it happens.

I also know, I have class and it will have to be a really fierce fight, if someone were to oppose or put hurdles in my chosen path.

Sounds simple, NO?  I like this technique to work all the time.

Random Phrases. Creativity. Day’s Progress


  1. Swinging For the Fences Meaning: Giving something your all.  Yes. Giving All in to the 3 Goals I have set.  Screen time reduced. Walking/ listening time increased. Talk time improving still. Video recordings not on schedule.  
  2. Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  Have to learn to like my voice and face and expressions on the video. After all, others are somehow tolerating me 🙂 
  3. Elvis Has Left The Building Meaning: Something that is all over. Yes. This year too many People, Relationships are over. The pleasure was of course, in giving. Giving to those who can not see – the visually challenged people who will never know their Giver, the benefactor.  
  4. Playing For Keeps  Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious.  Joining my third ToastMasters on coming sunday.  The International Champ Speaker is impressive club leader. Worth learning something from him. 
  5. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted Meaning: It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money.  I thought I negotiated well. To the working class painter of the house I was bit benevolent and did not hard bargain – with the shopkeeper though, it was another matter.  In balance a good deal. 
  6. Cry Wolf Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.  Interesting study I learnt that the highest number of lies are told over phone and the least on the emails. I now understand the meaning of “Plausible deniablility”:) .
  7. Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.  It is not easy to restart Speechcrafting, writing, learning to punctuate but Udemy and online platforms are the new addictions due to great trainers. One of them, I interacted with today few times over a failed PDF and what great responses – speedy, concerned, showed care and full of support for the student – WOW – I told the lady, I shall enroll for her next course.  It made her day.
  8. Jumping the Gun Meaning: Something that occurs too early before preparations are ready. Starting too soon.  No, not making this mistake again.  Have learnt my lessons in the Shani’s Sade Saati year 2018 😦 .   
  9. Ring Any Bells?Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.  Reading some poetry blogs these days. I just keep appreciating them as I know I can never write such great poetry. Some are sad souls but most are very sane inspite of their sorrow, sadness, emotive yet sensible.  The art of writing and the flair and flourish of many of them is so remarkable and I believe they must be atleast 30 to 40 years younger to me.  Great poetry. I love it. 
  10. Scot-free Meaning: Getting away freely from custody, punishment, or any type of risky situation.  What am I scot free from? I wonder. Closeted in my drawing room, glued to my chair and the screen – it is only when I walk slowly, calmly, steadily, haltingly, I feel the fresh breath of air, the cool, Bengaluru weather and the breeze and the moment I sweat – my instincts tell me it is going to rain – and it does. The cool weather returns.  Feels like freedom! 

Creativity. Random Phrases. My Day.


  1. Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.  Restarting the Learning Process after a gap. I have found some interesting courses on Udemy about Startups, Funding, Angel investing and others of my interest. 
  2. Burst Your Bubble Meaning: To ruin someone’s happy moment.  Hmmm… some WhatsApps, some SMS, some emails.  do that regularly but I have cut short on all of them to a bare minimum i.e. Responding by a Namaste and rarely with a request to call if at all.  Mails as per Mail Track are averaging 3 per week and that gives me a lot of time to work on my 3 key goals. 
  3. Cry Over Spilt Milk Meaning: It’s useless to worry about things that  already happened and cannot be changed.  Yes this happens. It is true. And it is best to Let go of the past.  
  4. Happy as a Clam Meaning: The state of being happy; feeling delighted.  Preparing speeches, writing articles, keeps busy and happy.  Once the creativity juices are flowing there is no stopping of happiness – it just follows. 
  5. Fish Out Of Water Meaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.  I left a Club last week. I was feeling like a fish out of water as my worth was not respected, people were indulging in groupism and politics.  Best to keep off. 
  6. Quick On the Draw Meaning: Performing an action with the greatest of haste.  My habit of quickest possible withdrawal from situations where I notice personal egos dominating, politics stench starting to form.  I am quick to withdraw – call it draw or my way – with-draw 🙂
  7. Head Over Heels Meaning: Falling deeply in love with another person.  That time is past, those years are gone now. Even the memories are fading – and no use asking doctors for memory booster medicines to get them back as they come with mixed feelings. 
  8. Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success.  No. Not taking unwanted, undue risks. That time is past. Now is time to be calm, quiet and face life and bid the time.  There are some up-ticks and they brighten the day and they are much needed relief. 
  9. Knuckle Down Meaning: Getting sincere about something; applying oneself seriously to a job.  Not job. My goals. Speaking learning, Writing, Learning and certification on Udemy online.  
  10. Fight Fire With Fire Meaning: To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.  My counter attack these days is more engulfed in calmness, composure and I speak quietly, eloquently, confidently and I am well grounded and centred.  

RAK Movement – 10 Random Acts of Kindness from which you can choose.


  1. It’s hard to stay connected – reach out to an elderly person you know
  2. Smile at 3 people today
  3. Forgive someone who has wronged you
  4. Write a complimentary note for someone
  5. Be eco-friendly – unplug electronics when you’re finished using them
  6. Share something interesting you’ve learnt today
  7. Know someone who is not coping very well? Give them a call
  8. Say good morning/afternoon/evening to a stranger
  9. Answer the phone in a cheerful voice – even if it is a sales person
  10. Remember to turn the lights off when you leave a room!