Like Father Like Son Meaning: Resembling one’s parents in terms of appearance or behavior. Yes. The receding hairline on my forehead and rear part of head do make me resemble like my father but he was dark brown, I am pale brown in skin – may be because my mom was fair skinned.
Back To the Drawing Board Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt. To work on the three goals Speaking, Writing, Learning is he only focus. No more mentoring. No more Freebies or free advice to anyone.
Playing For Keeps Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious. The feedback slips which many of Toastmasters handed me after my icebreaker speech really make me believe that “It all starts with a speech”. I am enjoying my Udemy speech and body language lessons and practicing to make videos to self correct as far as possible.
A Piece of Cake Meaning: A task that is simple to accomplish. I thought making and watching my own video of speech would be easy – It is scary. I find my voice and face manners unacceptable to myself.
Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I facilitate many mentees with Equipments as gifts for improving their skills, helping them practice and books to further augment their sharpening of skills. I truly believe in this phrase.
Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed Meaning: Someone who isn’t witty or sharp, but rather, they are ignorant, unintelligent, or senseless. I sometimes behave this way. My friend read my article and said Mirthful – I had to look up Google and then I realised it is pronounced MOUTHFUL and is associated with fun and my friend was actually pr aising me. What a dimwit I am but I learnt new word.
Fight Fire With Fire Meaning: To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you. I am a challenger, and I am not under any attack so I think this is a good phrase but not relevant to me and hope it never comes true.
Love Birds Meaning: A pair of people who have a shared love for each other. The number of poems I read on WordPress gives me a sincerely a heart break feeling that we have more lovelorn love lost poets here than love birtds. Would be interesting to know if love birds share poetry with social media?
Drawing a Blank Meaning: Failing to recall a memory. Unable to remember something. That’s usually happening with me especially with names, things. Forgetting to wear a watch, taking keys while going out – small things. Some medication is helping or perhaps not.
Fish Out Of Water Meaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for. That is the sinking feeling I used to get dealing with TAble topics at Toastmasters. Slowiy my fish is finding water and depth 🙂 .
These countries are gaining the most by employing older workers
Businesses around the world are chasing the grey dollar, but older people can contribute more to an economy than how they choose to spend their retirement funds.
Humans are living longer, which puts additional strain on healthcare provision, social care and pensions. And unless these issues are addressed, they could wreak havoc on economies in the future.
The thinking goes that by harnessing the potential of older workers, governments can raise additional tax revenues and increase spending power, which in turn boosts output.
Golden Age Index 2018
PricewaterhouseCooper’s Golden Age Index assesses the impact of older workers on different aspects of a country’s labour market, including employment, earnings, the gender gap and participation in training.
In the latest update of its report, PwC estimates that as much as $3.5 trillion could be added to the OECD economies overall by encouraging people nearing retirement age to stay longer in the workforce. This figure represents the potential long-term boost of raising workforce participation rates of over-55s to the same level as New Zealand.
At a national level, if New Zealand’s performance on employment of older workers were matched, the GDP boost could be as high as 23% for Greece, 20% for Belgium and 9% for the UK. Here’s that in dollars:
The older worker participation podium
Iceland topped the 2018 index with 84% of the 55-64 age range employed, compared with the OECD average of 60%. New Zealand was second (78%) and Israel (66.8%) took the final podium step. At the other end of the scale were Luxembourg with 40% of the same age group employed, Greece with 37% and Turkey with 34%.
Overall, the index showed an upward trend in the number of older people remaining in work across member states.
Ups and downs over time
Germany, Israel and New Zealand proved the biggest climbers, rising steadily up the index since 2003. Despite dropping a few places, the UK continued to make gains over the same period, absorbing 63% of the 55-64 age group (up from 55% in 2003) into the labour force and 21% of 65-69 year olds (up from 13%).
Mexico, Greece and Turkey suffered the biggest falls as each country dropped over 10 places down the index.
Incentives to keep working
So, what motivates people to work past retirement age? The answer is a mix of public policy and personal circumstances. The Golden Age Index identified three main drivers that influenced this decision.
Pension policies: The more governments spend on pensions the less incentive people have to keep working. The amount they receive and the age that workers are eligible to receive a pension also influence the decision to retire.
A 2012 study by Hurd, Mitchaud and Rohwedder found that public pensions have a negative effect on people’s savings and encourage them to retire early. The study concluded that a $10,000 increase in public pension worth reduces the average retirement age by roughly one month.
Life expectancy: Longer lives equate to more time spent working and there is a strong link between good health and participation in the workforce. Government healthcare policies and medical breakthroughs can facilitate people working to an older age.
Caring responsibilities: A person’s personal and financial situation are also important considerations. Caring for a spouse or a dependent could remove people’s freedom to keep working, if state care and benefits are not available. This will obviously differ from country to country.
However, taking things easy might be contagious. A husband or wife’s retirement could become an incentive for their partner to retire, too. A paper by Patrick Hesselius suggests that average sickness absence from work increases for women when their spouse retires.
Have you read?
Adapting to change
Technology is transforming the way we work. Innovation, automation and AI developments create new jobs and make existing roles obsolete. The workforce of tomorrow will need to be flexible enough to pick up new skills quickly or transfer the ones they already have.
Adapting to a future with less job security may prove challenging for older workers, who are more likely to face the consequences of automation than their better-educated and better-trained younger colleagues.
The top spots on the Golden Age Index are occupied by countries that have put policy measures in place and reformed their labour markets to target older workers.
The report recommends raising the retirement age to keep people in the workforce longer. However, to maximize the benefits of this policy governments need to support workers with lifetime learning and retraining programmes, to facilitate the skills needed for longer careers.
Making work options and pensions more flexible also supports the changing needs of older workers, by increasing opportunities for part-time or temporary jobs, as well as offering partial retirement options.
The physical needs of older employees is another important consideration. As well as adapting roles, employers can redesign factories and offices buildings to attract older workers.
The Golden Age Index figure of a $3.5 trillion boost to the OECD economy may still be some way off, but if more countries adapt the structure of their labour market and adopt a more flexible approach to older employees, the world will be working towards it.
I was reading this commercial from Tony Robbins’ Newsletter ”
When someone asks you for help, how do you respond?
The naive coach tends to “over-commit.”
They feel this heartfelt pressure to help the person, so the say, “Yes! Let me share my solutions with you. I’m committed to your change. Let’s make it happen!”
Why is this naive? Because if you rush in too much as a coach, you might scare the client away!
Or worse yet, you are seen as a “nagging” friend giving them unwanted advice. Ever experience that?
The wise coach knows better. They say, “Great. I’d love to help you.”
Then the wise coach thinks to themselves, “Let’s figure out what kind of client this is.”
You see, there are four different client types. The four types have different goals. They work at different speeds.
And they have completely different expectations for their coach.
When the naive coach “rushes in” to help, they miss out on the client’s type.
They miss what’s really going on.
The wise coach first understands the client’s type, and proceeds accordingly.
Which coach do you think is more effective?
If you ever find yourself giving advice to someone who doesn’t seem to benefit… I have something for you.
Today we will be sharing one of our top strategies for bringing faster, more profound change to coaching clients.
It will also work on anyone in your life who needs your help.”
I come into the later category of coaches – the Naive Coach! I tend to commit fast, stay committed for long and rarely have I failed.
I believe that Flirting Mentor is an Oxymoron just as a term like Naive Coach is, IMHO. A TRUE coach or mentor is neither naive nor a Flirt ! Serious coaches are Committed people and whether they commit early or later is a matter of their mind’s processes and early or late decision making capabilities/ habits – nothing else!
Great Sunday. 5th meeting of Toastmasters in 3rd Club of Bangalore. Young, vibrant crowd mixed with some bearded oldies and middle aged Techies.
- Love Birds Meaning: A pair of people who have a shared love for each other. No. did not happen. Day of course, began different.
Jaws of Death Meaning: Being in a dangerous or very deadly situation. No. Not really. Saw a Premier movie for a while but did not experience it 🙂
Two Down, One to Go Meaning: Two things have been completed, but there is one more that has yet to be finished. Yes. Today’s short walk left the Udemy course study unfinished for the day .
No Ifs, Ands, or Buts Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses. Experienced this later in the day with two Excuse Masters cleverly negotiating with each other.
Right Off the Bat Meaning: Immediately, done in a hurry; without delay. Yes. without any inhibition responded emails and gave guidance to even a mail marked FYI 🙂 🙂 . Lessons repeated in Communications.
Break The Ice Meaning: Breaking down a social stiffness. Great speeches by two youngsters and one International Humorist champs at Toastmasters. The breaking the ice speech was literally great.
A Chip on Your Shoulder Meaning: Being angry about something that happened in the past. Yes. I still carry one anger chip on my shoulder.
Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success. no like hope taking shot in the dark is not part of my strategy.
Let Her Rip Meaning: Permission to start, or it could mean ‘go faster!’ If the brainfog is gone and wiser sense prevails – you don’t need any permission.
Wake Up Call Meaning: An occurance of sorts that brings a problem to somebody’s attention and they realize it needs fixing. Hmmm… will wait and watch though.
Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset. Yes. even while in an angry tone, try not to rant. 🙂
In today’s competitive world, recruiters no longer hold on to traditional methods of recruiting through traditional one-to-one interviews. Thanks to the added competition, which has resulted in a shortage of talent, companies are fast resorting to technology, and platforms like Skype, GoToMeetings are fast replacing the old model of interviewing.
Companies are increasingly adopting employee-centric approaches to working by providing flexi-times, work-from-home initiatives, in addition to many other perks and benefits. Organizations are also getting the option to employ people they want, as compared to the ones who were available to them.
When an organization is located over multiple areas, the big challenge is to connect all the employees located in different offices spread all across the world, to the organization’s vision, identity, and rules – the big picture. That’s where coaching comes in. It is the best way to develop junior talent and provide the skills and expertise to make them experts. Having said that, mentoring provides ample space for a person to retain his individuality and his personal sensibilities.
Note that the goal of mentoring isn’t to create clones. Instead, it is to help people achieve their highest potentialwhile being in sync with the organization’s vision and objectives.
Coaching is not an innate ability; you are not born with the art of coaching. The other misunderstanding that’s often associated with coaching is that it’s related only to sports. Coaching is about pumping people’s spirits, and motivating them. Lack of motivation doesn’t come only in sports. There are times when employees too feel a need for motivation to deliver good results. Coaching helps these employees in holding their own in their team and being a productive group.
Coaching is the method of making people realize the heights they can achieve if only they kept persevering and putting proper effort. Mainly, coaching calls for a change of thinking and approach to a task. It’s about getting the person think positively about his chances of achieving his goal. It includes employee orientation towards the workplace politics, and to assist in removing the barriers to work performance.
Optimal and Optimum
There is a difference between the usages of words optimum and optimal. If a company specifies that they are interested in obtaining optimum results, they mean they want the best output from their employees. On the other hand, if they say they are looking for optimal results, that would mean that they are interested in obtaining the best work out of you in the given circumstances, or working conditions.
There are occasions when the line between optimum and optimal are blurred in coaching. Situations like these arise when an organization starts working on a new project and they need to ram up the office fast with people who are experienced in working on similar projects.
In situations like these, the job of a coach is not only to provide high levels of motivation to employees to excel in their performance, but also to ensure that the employees perform at their peak even if the requisite resources are not always available. It’s about lifting their spirit and keeping it high throughout tough times.
Abstract: Let us take an example to understand how coaching benefits employees .M was recently promoted to the post of a Team Manager , something he does not have a lot of experience on . At their first meeting , S asked a couple of questions to M to know more about him , just to get acquainted . In the subsequent meetings , Stanley and Morgan discussed what ‘s strengths and weaknesses were , and what the improvements in skill-sets were that Morgan had to bring back to his job . Over the next few months ,M and S regularly update their progress . They also discuss game play , tactics , and team building .
Let us take an example to understand how coaching benefits employees. M was recently promoted to the post of a Team Manager, something he doesn’t have a lot of experience on. He has been given the task to manage one of the teams in the company, so he sought help from a company coach to help him in understanding the requirements for the job, and to cultivate the right approach for the job. M enrolled for a two day per week course, and was assigned a coach named Stanley, who would be coaching him for the next few months.
S started by asking M to carry a workbook with him, in which M will keep a record of the discussions and guiding points that Stanley will provide to him during the learning. At their first meeting, S asked a couple of questions to M to know more about him, just to get acquainted. Then they discussed how they are going to work together, and with other people, in realizing the goals that have been set.
In the subsequent meetings, S and M discussed what M’s strengths and weaknesses were, and what the improvements in skill-sets were that M had to bring in him to excel at his job. Over the next few months, M and S met regularly to understand and analyze their progress.
They also spent time on discussing game play, tactics, and team building. Stanley constantly referred to his old coaching logs and M’s own workbook as evidences of improvement and encouraged Morgan to keep pushing his boundaries. Mock grills and role-plays were organized to check M’s improvement in team-managing under diverse and difficult scenarios.
At the end of the coaching, M commented on how useful he found the coaching process and how it made him realize the potential inside him that he had no idea he possessed. He is now a successful team-manager and a part-time coach himself to the new employees who join the company.
Mentoring is the act of identifying and nurturing potential areas of improvement in an individual. This could be a short-term action plan targeted towards a specific goal in mind, like career growth, higher learning, or could be a life-long process of improvement. The goals and processes are always set here by the learner. The job of the mentor here is to just facilitate, guide, and provide feedback after long stages of intensive observation. Coaching relates primarily to performance improvement, and is more often a short-term achievement in a specific skills area. The goals, process and suggestion are that of the coach. While the learner has primary ownership of the goal, the coach has primary ownership of the process. Feedback is often shared instantaneously.
This tutorial is for designed primarily for those working professionals who are assigned the responsibility to either coach or mentor the new employees or junior talents in their companies to improve their skill-sets, or help them grow in their careers. This tutorial aims at teaching trainers the difference between coaching and mentoring, and how the approaches change as per the requirement of the learner.
Before proceeding with this tutorial, you are expected to have a detailed knowledge on the working process of your company, and the job responsibilities that you will handle, and the expectation your management has of you, in terms of productivity and performance.
Quick and Dirty
Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well. The quick trip this year did not expect any result even after a month and I was little depressed. But the Brainwave and Udemy courses I am doing are really balancing.
There’s No I in Team
To not work alone, but rather, together with others in order to achieve a certain goal. The recent attempts to work as a team member without putting skin in the game has not worked. Partner trouble of the past always comes back however much I try to let it go.
Burst Your Bubble
To ruin someone’s happy moment. No I did not and will not do that.
Break The Ice
Breaking down a social stiffness. Hmmm… I think I shall shrink all other social activities and whatever is going on and just focus on 2 or 3 major big ticket items only. I need finishiative myself.
Right Off the Bat
Immediately, done in a hurry; without delay. But it did not yield any results. May be the introduction was not done well or my offerings were wrong or may be I was not seen as the choice or I failed to sell my services well.
I Smell a Rat
A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry. That sinking feeling ! Ahh ! but I am learning lessons on Self hypnosis and they are good. They work.
It’s Not Brain Surgery
A task that’s easy to accomplish, a thing lacking complexity. No. I do not have any simple task in my task list. I must just junk it and fill it up with small simple tasks and steps I can do and applaud myself , pat my own back.
In a Mentor’s life, Mentees come for:
1. A Reason
2. A Season,
3. Or for life and accept him/ her as Life Coach.
After a longish Five and half month I bid adieu to a worthy mentoree finally today.
Free verse by Jay
(On Cloud Nine:Meaning: Having strong feelings of happiness or satisfaction. )
Congratulations, however hard you try,
I Will always Praise.
Do congratulations make you shiver?
The communion that’s really anathema,
Above all others are the serenades.
Do serenades make you shiver?
All that is little is not hello,
hello, by all account is big.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the hello,
Gently it goes – the liberal, the high, mighty fellow.
Adieu is faces of death music.
faces of death music is Adieu.
“a strolling guitarist serenades the diners”.
“a strolling guitarist serenades the diners”,
“a strolling guitarist serenades the diners”.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together Meaning: People tend to associate with others who share similar interests or values. Have to find more and more likeminded people going forward that people poles apart.
Rain on Your Parade Meaning: To spoil someone’s fun or plans; ruining a pleasurable moment. No. Not happening. Won’t do that.
Hit Below The Belt Meaning: A boxing term. Also often used to refer to inappropriate words, or comments that are too personal. NEVER.
Poke Fun At Meaning: Making fun of something or someone; ridicule. Not happening, I am in a learning mode. Learnt a bit of self=hypnosis on Udemy and will try and find internal peace. have a Heavy head though 🙂
Quality Time Meaning: Spending time with another to strengthen the relationship. Yes meeitng coming up. started a new startup too.
Fool’s Gold Meaning: Iron pyrities is a worthless mineral that resembles gold. May write another poem today on this topic.
Tug of War Meaning: It can refer to the popular rope pulling game or it can mean a struggle for authority. Have no tug of war situation except one tough pricing negotiation coming up tomorrow..
Curiosity Killed The Cat Meaning: Typically said to indicate that any further investigation into a situation may lead to harm. I think enroling in 58 couses on Udemy is ENOUGH !
Throw In the Towel Meaning: Giving up; to surrender. No. Never. Not happening.
Eat My HatMeaning: Having confidence in a specific outcome; being almost sure about something. Yess. Will begin teaching SCM Logistics course again and take up paid coaching/ mentoring assignments for Branding/ Hyperscaling of startups.
Wake Up Call Meaning: An occurance of sorts that brings a problem to somebody’s attention and they realize it needs fixing. Just wondering, how many wake up calls one needs? One per day? For those day dreaming? Multiple times a day:)
Like Father Like Son Meaning: Resembling one’s parents in terms of appearance or behavior. Hmmm…. Appearance is OK. Behavior – may be not! 🙂
In the Red Meaning: Losing money. Being in debt. But the people in Red so get habituated of high living and dependence on others money – they seldom come down from their high horses.
A Chip on Your Shoulder Meaning: Being angry about something that happened in the past. Yes. It happens to me all the time. Difficult to let go of the past.
Mouth-watering Meaning: Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.
Foaming At The Mouth Meaning: To be enraged and show it. Ha Ha ha – I do it without foaming at the mouth – I type!
Cry Wolf Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying. Hmmm… many recent cases of false alarms responded – leading to waste of time and going into a spin unnecessarily.
Easy As Pie Meaning: Something that is easy. Nothing is? Is there anything easy at all?
Tough It Out Meaning: To remain resillient even in hard times; enduring. Tough minded optimision, grit, determination and a firm commitment – yes, that’s what it is for me.
- Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success. But worth taking. I don’t leave till the end, whenever it comes – it may or may not come. Keep at it.
- Birds of a Feather Flock Together Meaning: People tend to associate with others who share similar interests or values. Yes. Especially Conniving, Nefarious, Nexus of Corrupt always find ways to come together.
- On the Ropes Meaning: Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless! Hmmm… In such cases, I do not persist. I take a walk. A childhood trait. Whenever there was an issue about Captaincy and someone wanted to be one instead of me – I’d walk away and start a new club, a new team and remain the Captain. What an authoritarian, autocrat I was. No?
- Down And Out Meaning: (1) A term used in a boxing. (2) Someone who has become incapacitated. No. Never. Never give up. I was able to contain the heart disease with Doctors, family help and my own determination. I still live with half a heart pumping at only 35% but I choose to live and not give up.
- Hear, Hear Meaning: A shout of agreement, or to draw attention to a speaker. No many times do we hear this. These days, like the purchase managers of the olden days, people are taught to say NO NO NO NO till their tongue bleeds. 🙂
Good I learnt in childhood to play Boxing ( Even have a Stitch mark as memory below my lips – given by a worthy opponent) but LIfe sometimes teaches us great lessons.
Roll With the Punches Meaning: To tolerate or endure through the unexpected mishappenings you may encounter from time to time. Some were of course, my play and some of course happened or were stage managed by others. It happens.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree Meaning: To make a wrong assumption about something. I don’t. I perceive, Do loud thinking and after thinking make Judgement calls never assumptions, presumptions of guess work.
Dropping Like Flies Meaning: To fall down ill or to die in large numbers. Sad it happened in near family yesterday.
Down For The Count Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so. Don’t know how this will happen or what hidden message is here.
Throw In the Towel Meaning: Giving up; to surrender. I surrender to love or to God. As they say in Urdu couplet Kaho na Khuda ( God) se langar utha de or Kaho Nakhuda Se (Human being) Langar utha de – Main bhi toofan ki zid dekhna chahata hoon !
Know the Ropes Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. Process is so critical to know. At times this takes my longest time researching before mentoring or during.
Cut To The Chase Meaning: To get to the point, leaving out all of the unnecessary details. It is a habit. It is called Occam’s Razor.
Needle In a Haystack Meaning: To keep going, pressing forward; never stopping. I just registered for 3 new Udemy courses. Already done 14. Learning never ends.
Wild Goose Chase Meaning: Futilely pursuing something that will never be attainable. So finally, I gave up the chase. No more.
Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed Meaning: Someone who isn’t witty or sharp, but rather, they are ignorant, unintelligent, or senseless. It is best to Ignore them. Ignoring is to kill.
Happy as a Clam Meaning: The state of being happy; feeling delighted. I am! Feels great to study new courses which bring new skills, knowledge and provide me new tools.
A friend sent a presentation of a new biz today. Wonderful implementation plan, business plan and hyperscalable model I like.
I was angry, very very angry and defocused and depressed on 13th May.
I channelised my energies to get 14 new learnings and certifications from Udemy on subjects I had never explored.
My blog is in front of you which now has over 21ooo views, 11500 likes and on linkedin I now have over 13000 follower. I focused and channelised my anger and negative energies to convert it into POSITIVE.
The result – My Sugar average for90 days fell to 6.75. Weight dropped by 12 kilos and my BP came normal. My heart doctor permitted me to travel ! WOW!
Make Anger Work for You
Hell hath no fury like me in a political argument. My heart pounds. My breath speeds. My face reddens. I look like I just worked out, but that sweaty, vibrant flush is pure, righteous anger.
Wise people throughout human history have taught us to beware the excesses of anger. Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and ancient Greek philosophy all provide some choice wisdom on the subject. Science bears these teachings out. Frequent, intense, or prolonged anger causes physical and psychological stress, increasing our risk of committing intimate partner violence, getting into a car crash, abusing drugs, and even suffering from heart disease.
Yet there’s another body of evidence, which indicates that not all anger is bad. Indeed, psychologists argue that in moderate doses, anger can: motivate us, make us more creative, deepen our relationships, help us advocate against social ills, and inspire us to pursue our goals.
Imagine anger as a big dog. When it’s out of control, that dog becomes a risk not only to intruders but to its owner. But sometimes, a barking dog can help keep its owner safe — as long as the owner trusts the dog won’t turn on them or their loved ones. In the same way, by dealing with anger mindfully, we can channel our rage to address the underlying issue — without the big dog of our anger turning around and biting us in the process.
The Surprising Benefits of Seeing Red
Just like our dogs bark when a suspicious stranger comes to the door, anger is the human brain’s way of signalling that something just isn’t right. Human beings are highly attuned to standards of fairness, and when we experience disappointment, disrespect, injustice, or unmet expectations, we may become angry.
That’s not inherently a bad thing. At best, anger can be a mark of conscience. As the American Psychological Association points out, if it weren’t for righteous anger at injustice, women may still not have the right to vote. In our personal lives, anger can help us work harder to achieve our goals. Several studies have found that anger can help us advocate for ourselves, with people who demonstrated anger in mock negotiations having their demands met more often than people who projected happiness.
While anger can distort our thinking and make it difficult to reason calmly, under certain conditions it can actually make us more rational. Even the irrational side of anger can be good, making us more creative. While in the long term, anger is an exhausting and unsustainable emotion, research has shown that feeling anger allows us to think in more unstructured ways for short periods of time, opening our minds to inspiration.
When Your Anger Keeps You Back
Seeing red isn’t always rosy. While anger itself is value-neutral, dealing with that anger inappropriately — either by repressing it or by harming ourselves and others — can have negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships. Think again of that dog: if you let it run wild without any training at all, it will bite you; but if you keep it in a cage all the time, it may act out against strict restraints.
Unhealthy ways of coping with anger include aggression toward yourself or others, like shouting, screaming, physical violence, and self harm. Some people may become passive aggressive, withdrawing and acting out rather than engaging affirmatively with the conflict.
While aggression can help us get what we want, it can also have negative long-term consequences. Anger helps us most in negotiations when the person we’re negotiating with is less powerful than us or has fewer options than we do. While we should be assertive in advocating for ourselves, there’s a fine line between being a tough negotiator and a bully: no one wants to be that person screaming curses at a service worker in public.
Channeling Anger in a Healthy Way
So how do we train the dog? Just like we’d search for what made our dog bark so we can address the threat, we can understand what our anger is telling us and make positive changes.
Some psychologists recommend the STAR-R system as a way of mindfully dealing with anger. STAR-R stands for Stop, Think, Ask, Reduce, and Reward. If you find anger is overwhelming you and affecting your daily life in a negative way, you can use whatever method works for you. The shared goal is to slow a situation down and take a moment to think so we don’t harm ourselves and others.
Let’s use the example of me in a political argument, with which I started the piece, to understand how the STAR-R system works. Picture me, sitting at a friend’s kitchen table as another guest makes comments I find offensive. My heart is beating faster. My color and voice are both rising. I’m about to shout something spiteful or aggressive rather than engaging and productive.
First, I can stop. I can check in with how I’m feeling. I can notice my racing heart, my labored breathing, and the burning feeling in my chest. I can begin to calm myself down by taking a long, slow breath.
Next, I can think. What will happen if I lose my temper? While I may genuinely find this person’s behavior objectionable, if I scream at them or insult them, they will disengage and double down on their viewpoint, and I won’t be able to get my point across or change their mind.
Then, I can ask. Why am I so angry? Are their comments discriminatory against my identity or the identity of my loved ones? Am I hungry and tired, and thus have a shorter fuse than usual? Are there more productive ways I can engage with this person and issue to enact the social change I care about? At this stage, I can imagine alternative ways to approach the situation in order to address the underlying problem. For example, I could invite my “opponent” to have a longer discussion over coffee; I could go shout slogans at a protest; or if my opponent has a misconception about mental health, I could help educate myself and others by writing an article about the issue for Talkspace!
Finally, I can reduce my anger by taking a moment away from the conversation to collect myself, or by having a snack if I’m hungry and irritable (hanger is real!).
The final step in STAR-R is reward. This calls for acknowledging when we’ve successfully approached our anger mindfully instead of acting out, and perhaps giving ourselves a well-deserved treat.
Make Anger Work for You
There’s nothing shameful about a dog barking when it’s hurt or hears a scary noise. In the same way, there’s nothing inherently wrong with anger. Rather than shying away from anger, repressing it, or losing our heads at every slight, we can view anger as our body’s invitation to address an unmet need, right a social wrong, or solve a conflict.
Anger is a powerful emotion and coping with it in a healthy way is hard work. We won’t always get it right, but we can acknowledge our effort, channel our anger into things we really care about, and — as always! — commit to growth.
I did and since 13th May I got 14 certifications. Got 20000 Views on my blog and 10000 likes and now have nearly 13000 followers on Linkedin – visit http://www.parkhe.com
What to Consider Before Hiring a Friend
I got an early start in business. By the time I was 17 years old, I was a partner in a fast-growing company, and when I decided to hire a close friend of my father’s, I was thrilled when he agreed to join.
But it was awkward from the beginning. This man had known me since I was in diapers. I struggled to think of myself as his boss. And so did he. It got really tough when he began coming in late and leaving early, falsifying expense reports, and cutting deals with customers that he didn’t tell us about until after the check was cashed. I agonized over what to do. When I expressed concerns, he would reassure me in a fatherly voice that everything was fine. When I complained about broken rules, he would cajole me about being naïve. After nearly a year of suffering (entirely self-induced), I finally fired him.
I swore I’d never hire a friend again. I reasoned that few friendships could endure such a dramatic shift in relative power and that you can be a friend or you can be a boss, but you can’t be both.
I’ve since grown up quite a bit and, fortunately, learned that I was wrong. I’ve observed and studied friend-boss relationships — and even been on both sides of them — and now know what it takes for them to be successful. The key is having the right combination of patience and candor before and during the hiring process. Here’s how to do it.
Don’t start a conversation about hiring if saying no isn’t an option.Ask yourself, “If I open the question about hiring this person, can I imagine myself saying, ‘I’m not giving you the job’?” If you can’t, you’re doomed at the outset. If you wouldn’t say no — because of your own insecurity or your doubts about the emotional maturity of your friend — if no was the right answer, don’t even consider becoming this person’s boss. Otherwise, you will rationalize or cower yourself into a yes that you’ll probably regret. If you can’t turn your friend down for the job, you’ll never be able to manage them once they’re on your team. If your friend has already opened the question, shut it down honestly. Say, “I don’t think I’m strong enough to do what it takes to be both your boss and your friend.” You may have to deal with some resentment, but if they do resent you, then they’d be the kind of person who would despise you when things cratered.
Give yourself an off-ramp. If you decide to entertain the possibility, set proper emotional expectations by explaining that no is the likeliest result. If the other person’s hopes begin to gallop at the prospect of being hired, you’ve lost already. Don’t conspire in their choice to set their expectations high. Say something like, “I can see some advantages to working together. And yet I think there are more reasons it won’t work than reasons it will. I’d like to explore the possibility with you, but I want to be clear I think it might not be a good idea.”
Rehearse the boundaries. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that being a good friend is a good predictor of being a good employee. Someone who is congenial as a friend can show up as lazy, petty, resentful, dishonest, or even political as a colleague. Let’s face it, you occasionally show up in some of those ways as well. Before you explore the candidate’s qualifications, give yourselves a chance to mutually consider how you’ll deal with some difficult situations. For example, ask your friend how they will feel when:
- You override a decision they made.
- You give them a negative performance review.
- You disagree with them publicly.
- They disagree with you publicly.
- You press them to achieve an uncomfortable goal or deadline.
- You give a plum assignment they wanted to someone else.
- You deny them a raise.
Rehearsing these scenarios helps the two of you think through some of the challenges you might face in your new relationship. This helps both parties set the psychological boundaries you’ll need if you’re to be a boss rather than a buddy. If you can’t imagine yourself holding these boundaries, then don’t proceed. In fact, doing so would mean, in essence, agreeing you will subordinate your duty to your company to the interests of your friend. You’ve sold out before you even begin.
YOU AND YOUR TEAM SERIES
I once had a related experience. I was hired as a consultant to evaluate the performance of a senior executive who was also a dear friend. The board of his company had concerns with him and wanted me to make recommendations to improve the situation. The board knew of our friendship but pressed me to take the project anyway. Having learned from my early experience, I let the board know that “no” was an option for me. I told them I wanted to talk to my friend before giving them an answer.
I began our lengthy lunch conversation by giving myself an off-ramp. I let him know that this evaluation was going to happen whether I did it or not and that, if I took it on, the fact that I cared about him could not influence my conclusions. And yet I assured him I would decline the request if he preferred another consultant or felt this would jeopardize our relationship.
In an attempt to rehearse the boundaries of this new relationship, I let him know there was a remote possibility that I would conclude the board should dismiss him. We discussed candidly how we might feel should this happen. In the end, he said, “I would rather have this done by someone I know who loves me than by someone whose judgment or motives I might doubt.”
I accepted the assignment. As the project proceeded, it became terrifyingly clear that there was no retreating from the problems he had created. He had to go. I’d be less than honest if I didn’t admit that I resisted the conclusion longer than I would have had he not been a friend. However, I was far less emotionally threatened by the conclusion because I had set the proper expectations with him. In fact, I count it an honor to have been part of his dismissal. It gave me an opportunity to be part of ensuring not only a just outcome for the organization but also a compassionate transition for him.
It has been a few years since his exit from the organization, and I saw him recently at the wedding of a mutual friend. When we saw each other, what could have been a resentful avoidance was instead a comfortable, mutual embrace.
Hiring friends is risky. But if approached correctly, you can avoid threatening the relationship, and possibly even enrich and strengthen it.
A startup can have all of it — a good suggestion, an expanding customer unfriendly, funding, an excellent outlook — yet discover itself floundering, struggling to cope with a transforming into team or finding out the most effective approach to make use of these bucks for enlargement. And that’s the place the appropriate mentor could be helpful, nudging the founders within the appropriate path and helping them develop each for my part and professionally.“Having the appropriate mentor is crucial. It can be the difference between making a fine decision and a disastrous one,” says Abhishek Verma, founding father of nine-month-historic startup Mojostar, a celebrity-pushed retail business. Verma receives advice from those that have been there and accomplished it before him on three counts — navigating massive partnerships and negotiating, hiring the appropriate americans, and getting to know the way to allocate capital. Verma, who became part of Myntra’s brand team previous, has drawn his mentors from the style etailer’s old management team.TIES OF suggestions
Warren Buffett – bill Gates
The Microsoft founder has commonly mentioned famed investor Warren Buffet is his adviser when it comes to ideas and investments, other than being a detailed pal. Gates has noted Buffett asked him a couple of hard questions in the early years of Microsoft, which helped him build the company into the tech giant it grew to be
Larry Ellison – Marc BenioffThey’ve have had public feuds but they’re additionally shut friends, and Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison supported Benioff throughout the early days of Salesforce, offering counsel, assist and day without work from work.bill Campbell – Jeff BezosA former Columbia institution soccer participant and educate, Campbell labored with and mentored with one of the vital greatest names in tech, including Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Larry web page and Eric SchmidtWhile mentoring is constantly about a casual, very own relationship with a senior or more experienced grownup who takes an hobby in a more youthful entrepreneur with spark and power, in some instances the relationships are more formal. a few accelerators assign mentors to the startups of their programmes, while some angel investors play the role of adviser. In other circumstances, “professional mentors” engage a stake in the company to dish out suggestions.A examine by activity insight, a non-profit that supports excessive-impact entrepreneurs the world over, found that 33% of founders who are mentored via a hit entrepreneurs went on to turn into correct performers. “The magnitude of difference between the performance of companies with a success mentors and groups that lack them suggests that the cost of beneficial mentors for startups may well be above all excessive,” activity insight’s director Rhett Morris writes.Sagar Yarnalkar, founder of grocery delivery platform DailyNinja, says his mentors are also his angel investors — TaxiForSure’s Aprameya Radhakrishna, Freecharge’s Kunal Shah and Anupam Mittal of Shaadim. “Aprameya helped me plan my incentive structure to work with companions and milk carriers beneath the gadget. He had journey working with providers right through his time at TaxiForSure,” he says. Shah and Mittal helped set up conferences with key buyers. All this helped Yarnalkar bag an additional round of funding from Sequoia Capital last December. “a pretty good mentor will need the equal factor you desire and back you to the hilt,” he says.usual MENTORS IN INDIAAparameya Radhakrishna, founder of TaxiForSurePhanindra Sama, founder of RedBusKunal Shah, founder of FreechargeAnupam Mittal, founder of ShaadimGlobally, too, founders of tech giants like Apple’s Steve Jobs, Google’s Larry page and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos have mentioned how having a mentor helped them build and scale their companies.
In India, there are lots of a hit entrepreneurs who associate with more youthful ones to support build the startup ecosystem. closing yr, Niti Aayog invited purposes for its ‘Mentor India’ programme, beneath which mentors might guide schools college students in govt Atal Tinkering Labs. around 750 mentors have been chosen for programme throughout the country. whereas some entrepreneurs just put their identify down as a mentor in order that a startup can raise money, others are in fact attracted to the increase of the business and support every time feasible.
Some suppose the word ‘mentorship’ has been abused in India. “Mentors in India are overrated. basically, ninety% of the time an entrepreneur takes the name of someone as a mentor because it sounds respectable. on occasion an angel investor puts in money and leaves however is credited as a mentor,” says Somdutta Singh, vice-chairperson of Nasscom Product Council and a member of the core administration committee of girls Entrepreneurial telephone, NITI Aayog. She says many incredibly-valued startups in India grew through inserting big names as mentors after they had been beginning but the relationship wasn’t really one in every of nurturing and advising.
If entrepreneurs get a “skilled mentor”, it comes for a monthly price. Singh herself is a mentor to startups via her consulting firm and her roles at Nasscom and Niti Ayog and fees a charge for her time.“just a few accelerators charge startups charges each month for an hour of mentoring, but mentorship isn’t consultancy provider. which you can’t pay them by using the hour,” says Ishan Singh, who has led three investments and is a mentor to 10 startups, including WeDoSky and PeeBuddy. He become previously a mentor to the founders of 91 Springboard. An advisory equity stake, constantly 1-5% within the enterprise, helps the mentor be utterly aligned to the growth of the enterprise, he says.There are still risks though. PeeBuddy co-founder Deep Bajaj remembers the time a “mentor” disappeared after inquiring for a 2% stake in the enterprise. “fortunately we hadn’t issued it. but i know many startups who haven’t been as lucky,” he says.To counter this, in Israel, its innovation authority has a formalised mentor-mentee programme, which ensures that the individuals signing up as mentors are tracked online for the number of hours spent assisting startups. Nasscom’s Deep Tech membership has all started an analogous programme with legal professionals, accountants and entrepreneurs appearing as mentors, and they need to visit the startups twice a week.
So how does one select the foremost mentor? Somdutta Singh has an ‘paintings’ —Aspiration-Responsiveness-Transition — for it. “The startup’s aspiration should healthy the mentor’s. Responsiveness is helping them connect with the appropriate individuals. Transition is to help startups develop. A mentor may still do all these,” she says.Verma says a startup should have a clear purpose and define specific results for the relationship. Ishan Singh, too, advises startups to spell out the expectations they have got from the mentor and to do wide research before signing one on. Mentors should be sincere ample if assist they can’t support, Singh says. “I even have declined somewhat a few startups as a result of I don’t consider i am the right grownup to help them,” he says.
Aggressive multi-billion logistics push from Alibaba
Modest growth in global air cargo in Q1
Allcargo subsidiary to set up auto engineering warehouse in Guwahati
Integrated logistics division to boost exports
Two Tata companies come together to make Maharashtra EV ready
Coconut oil exports pick up momentum
‘Mission Raftar’ to raise freight trains speed
Significant drop in SAIL losses
Raghava Warehousing rebranded as Exceed Logistics
GreyOrange to showcase advanced supply chain automation at India Warehousing
NEW LOOK FOR 747 JET AHEAD OF EXPO 2020 DUBAI
Multiple vacancy with Deendayal Port Trust
Customer Service Officer vacancy with a road express company
Talent acquisition specialist opening with CEVA
Morning Briefing Top news & stories of the startup ecosystem from India & around the world
10 Min Reading Time
While asserting that India’s GMV for ecommerce is at a “very, very early” stage, Alibaba executive vice-chairman Joe Tsai said, “We want to take a very patient approach… our strategy is to look at high-frequency use cases and build ecommerce business on top of that… we have an investment in Paytm… we’re involved in a grocery company because grocery is almost daily.”
The ruckus around the acquisition of a 77% stake in Flipkart by Walmart hardly seems to be over. The Department of Industrial Policy and Promotion (DIPP) has now forwarded to various government agencies complaints made by RSS-affiliated Swadeshi Jagran Manch (SJM) over the deal.
Flipkart Internet Pvt, which operates the ecommerce platform of Flipkart India, has reported reduced losses for FY 2017 but the growth in overall sales of the company, which was recently bought by US retail giant Walmart, also slowed down, ET reported.
Thank you Jet airways Global Linkers platform for SMEs who gave me an opportunity to be a SME reporter for a day and cover the Indo-Dutch Startup link inauguration event.
Indo-Dutch Startup Initiative – Bengaluru: SME Reporter Series
TRADE FAIRS AND EVENTS
14 minutes ago — 4 min read
Summary: As part of our SME Reporter series, Dhananjaya Parkhe reports on the Indo-Dutch #StartUpLink event held on the 25th of May in Bengaluru. Read on for an insider’s view on an event that could shape the startup ecosystem in both countries.
I was told by a Dutch colleague in Netherlands about the Dutch Prime Minister’s visit to India about 45 days ago. The Indo-Dutch #StartUpLink is developed for Indian and Dutch startups that are exploring each other’s markets and offers access to key information, relevant networks, pilot opportunities and navigators for the respective startup ecosystems. The event was held on 25th May in Bengaluru at the Taj West End hotel.
Prior to the event, I interacted with the Dutch Foreign Ministry from Netherlands and with the Dutch Embassy in Delhi and Bengaluru about participation. Their reception was heartwarming. When I mentioned that I mentor startups, I was asked to send three profiles of startups in Bengaluru which I have been supporting. They chose Nayonika Eyecare Charitable Trust among the three. Eye Care was an issue that the delegation wanted to focus on. They currently have an association with Shankara Netralaya we were told. We shared that this is a humanitarian area and non-compete collaborative era and we also have good relations on reciprocal basis with Shankara Netralaya. We were told to submit our presentation for preview to the incoming delegates and the Ministry.
At the event, the first session had a CNBC host as the anchor who had run a startup programme for 17 years on their channel. There were nearly 150 participants. The Mayor of Bengaluru and Minister of Trade Development next came on stage and shared their ideas, thoughts about StartupLink which is associated with the Startup India initiative.
It was followed by a dinner attended by about 700 invitees and unfortunately the PM could not attend as he had to rush back due to an emergency. Bilateral contracts worth Euro 6.9 billion were signed during this event and the parties concerned were invited on stage and honoured.
We could not locate our Dutch counterparts in the confusion created by the PM’s absence. However, the silver lining was we could personally meet and discuss, exchange cards with the Dutch Trade Minister, Minister of Foreign affairs and the Minister for Healthcare.
We also met the Mayor of Bengaluru about our new project ‘Netra Abhiyan’ with the government of Karnataka and Namma Bengaluru Foundation to work in 502 identified slum areas for a blindness prevention drive.
While I had mixed feelings about the overall programme, the personal touch by the ministers in inviting us to write to them directly so that they could introduce us to the concerned people directly was the highlight and I felt that they are genuinely interested in the cause of promoting startups and humanitarian initiatives.
To learn more about the event, network by clicking on the ‘Invite’ button on my eBiz Card.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views, official policy or position of GlobalLinker.
Doing the simple step of showing up on time can go a long way in the eyes of your manager. Unfortunately, too many of us are running late to work. Tardiness was the the most common breach of etiquette managers noticed in employees, a new Accountemps survey of 1,000 employees and 300 senior managers concluded.
“It goes without saying that you should show respect toward your colleagues, yet etiquette blunders happen every day,” Michael Steinitz, executive director of Accountemps, said. “Showing up on time for meetings and paying attention when you’re there demonstrates that you value the time and efforts of others. Just being polite goes a long way toward creating a better work environment.”
Managers don’t want you to be late; employees don’t want you to gossip
Here were the most common etiquette breaches managers saw in their employees:
1. Running late to meetings (34%)
2. Not responding to calls or emails in a timely manner (26%)
3. Gossiping about others in the office (23%)
Manners also mattered to employees, but they had a slightly different idea of what was the biggest offense of etiquette. Here were the rude coworker behaviors that they noticed the most:
1. Gossiping about colleagues (24%)
2. Distracted during meetings (18%)
3. Not responding to work communication in a timely fashion (17%)
Employees appear to be more concerned with how their behavior is perceived by others. And they are right to be concerned about being seen as absent-minded or as a gossip. Common courtesy can make the difference between you getting that promotion or you being told that there is no room for advancement. Sixty-five percent of managers and 46% of workers said being courteous can accelerate advancement. So if you’re habitually late, this is your wake-up call. Showing up on time, paying attention to meetings and keeping your mouth shut when you hear gossip are all behaviors that are entirely in our control to fix.
I liked this article by By Monica TorresMay 31, 2018 on newsletter Ladders.
My take :
I was drawing parallels with Customer Centricity, Customer Loyalty measurement and Behaviour impact on the brand building efforts.
We know that we can not change adults. We can not motivate adults. So how does our brand find a top of the mind slice of the consumer/ customer brain. I think it is psychology!
And Brand psychology is primarily driven by the Customer Contact points, their behaviour and etiquettes ! You can create seductive ads and burn cash in brand building and awareness creation but what remains in customers’ minds is their last transaction experience or the first one.
Do the customer centric manager pay attention to the etiquettes of the employees and officers of the company towards the Customer?
So Congratulations to me. The credit for this goes to my loving wife and family and my Doctors who did not let me waver like true mentors for one moment from my goal. They set three big strategic targets for me after my 2 heart attacks
- Get to 68Kg – your weight when you married 38 years ago and present a Jay as he was to your wife. Motivating but tough.
- Second Get to Under 90 Kg before May 2018 and maintain the weight.
- Come to 80 Kilos by 31st July and you will have nearly Reversed your Heart disease by strict medical management, Walking as the only exercise other than some breating Yoga exercises and Extremely strict Dietary conrols and managemnt.
I like to MEASURE. Without measuring nothing is achieved. I used different Apps for Walking measurement, Steps measurement, Weight measurement, BP measurement, Sugar measurement
Without Documentation of what you do, you can not prove as people are interested to have an EMPIRICAL (sic !) EVIDENCE that what you claim is true.. So I maintained a journal in which i record all the above and my Insulin dosage plus I also record EPISODES such as the number of times I fell down, Number of times I ate out, No. of days on travel, No. of issues – fractured hand, Arthritis, Frozen shoulder, Extreme sweating etc as told to maintain by my Great Doctors who are now friends. Without their help it was not possible.
Look at these pics – Before and After. This was ME in August 2007 when TNT CEO visited India and I had just returned from Tirupati after a headshave and a Darshan. I weighed a good 135 Kilos then and was ready for a Heart Attack. I had stopped all forms of Alcohol in 2006 beginning and stopped Non-vegetarian food much before that by I was still eating lots of namkins and salted, fried peanuts and was smoking to glory as a chainsmoker.
As Diabetes was detected in 2006, I was put on Tablets and No Sugar, Minimal Salt food and I had reduced my food intake by about 20% overall without of course stopping the peanuts and snacks which put my blood sugar out of control and the Doctor to comment – other than your Kidneys everything seems wrong and you are waiting for a silent heart attack soon. I changed the doctor though, as he was mostly abroad and was not guiding me correctly and I was left to the mercy of his wire thin dietician who had run out of ideas about giving me recipe’s as none of her 20 recipe’s worked.
Weight drop after diabetes was not very significant but I managed to get the photographer to get this shot so I look thinner in the picture atleast with a french beard or a ‘goatee”. 🙂 I still weighed 132 Kilos in July 2008
The below picture is when I was honoured as an Honorary Professor of SIBM Pune, Bangalore by the Chairman of Symbiosis Dr. Muzumdar. I was donating all the honorarium earned adding something from my own for their library. Did so from 2000 to 2014.
June 2010 and I still weighed 135 Kilos as you can see from the pic below.
The picture below is 6 months after my 2 quick silent heart attacks of which one was noticed in Feb 14 by Symbiosis students and I was admitted to Narayana Hrudayalaya of the world famous Dr. Devi Shetty. My Weight 108 Kg. August 2014. When admitted the famed doctor said it is a case requiring triple bypass but your heart pumps at 15% and it is not feasible to operate. They did PET Scan and other tests and put me in ICCU for 8 days which were very boring with hospital diet food and smells and nauseating atmosphere . Two great things happened. 1. I stopped snoring 2. I stopped smoking thereafter.
Dr. Shetty also advised me to meet the HOD of Endocrinology and now my friend Dr. Satish Kumar for putting me on Insulin, his medication and diet controls.
I was very reluctant to take insulin. Wanted to hire a nurse or go to a hospital to get injected as I would relate it to 14 injections in the stomach thing which was a fear I had about the dog bite. Although I had a pet dog in my childhood called Tomy but I was very afraid of injections in the stomach. But I changed my fears and went on with treatment.
Next came diet. After 2 – 4 changes of dieticians opinions Dr. Satish asked me to cut food intake to a total of 20% of what I was eating before the Episodes and my wife would listen to his advice intently and make me accept and adapt to this extremely strictly. She maintained my food timings, quantity and watched for my excesses I would indulge on my walks etc. and added couple of juices = White gourd and fresh Grass juice to my morning breakfast. Daughter pitched in with her client’s Sericha Tea with lunch and dinner and another daughter suggested Figs to reduce cholestrol with breakfast.
All in all I was in good hands = well disciplined, well monitored and controlled.
Weight 135 Kg.Dec2011
My only task was to Walk. I had started short walks post retirement in the morning and evening. Dr. Satish motivated me to increase it periodically. So from 2.5Km a day I have come to average 12.5 Km per day this year. In April I crossed 10000Km on the Nike Apps meant for runners but I measured my Km walked.
All of this worked. Then this year I realised I sleep a lot in the day time some times 2 to 6 hours as sisesta. My weight touched on April 9 2018 98 Kilos and I was told to stop sleeping in the noon and instead walk for about 2 Km in the Sun. It started showing results.
Post my birthday, I fitted into Readymade Slim fit Jeans after many many years and you can see the delight on my face. But I still had to go to the next target level. I weighe today and my Cuttent Weight 88,8kg. For past 15 days it has been in the range of 89 to 90 kilos. I think I am going to achieve the 80 kilo target by the due date doing what I am doing. It is working.
So personally, it is a bigger victory than a Poker victory as even if you win 10 Million or 1- billion you can spend it all but you can not reverse the heart disease and earn more years to live with your family and friends. My personal gratitude to all who helped.
To end, I had a brief Mentoring intervention of 60 days with a mentee and I once shared a joke with her to say ” Jaane Kiski mentoring karta firta hai, iska wazan 5 Kilo ghat gaya hai” – it was a rigorous mentoring assignment and what this meant is “Don’t know who he mentors or what he does but his weight has gone down by 5 Kilos” So perhaps she also deserves kudos for being with me in that crucial period of losing weight and helping me achieve my target.
So next is 80.0 Kilos by 31st July. 🙂
In this sub-Approach spread over two sessions Jay Parkhe takes the mentee through two other techniques using terms from totally different subject, speciality, Music, Poetry.
In 1st Part we discussed,
universal emotions, what they look like, and why we’re biologically hardwired to express them this way:
In this part, we discuss with the Mentee:
Hindustani Classical Music: Different Kinds of Ragas
Rāga (Sanskrit: राग), comes from a Sanskrit word for “the act of colouring or dyeing”, or simply a “colour, hue, tint, dye”. The term also connotes an emotional state referring to a “feeling, affection, desire, interest, joy or delight”, particularly related to passion, love, or sympathy for a subject or something. In the context of ancient Indian music, the term refers to a harmonious note, melody, formula, building block of music available to a musician to construct a state of experience in the audience.
From a Mentor’s perspective these are important when I am using the ESTM sub technique as it is enriched by these emotions and testing their stability in the Mentee.
- Feeling 2. Affection 3. Desire, 4. Interest 5. Joy 6. Delight Relating to
A. Passion – I call it Pass-I-On or Pass-It-On.
C. Sympathy / Empathy
In ancient Indian Music Raga refers to
i. Harmonious Notes
iv. Building block of music
to construct a state of Experience for the audience.
I do not test each of them but once I have gathered and understood the Mentee’s interest, Passion, aptitude for one or more of the above I test them on the Musical level which is creating Harmony, Melody, Formula and Building Blocks of Success and their ability to do so.
This is not an easy exercise and the tough parts are : Feeling, Affection, Passion and Love. Some mentees mask their Delight, Joy, Sympathy, Empathy while the Real Pseudo Mentees who are out to play spoilsport and waste the mentors’ and their own time and efforts get exposed and usually quit or asked to quit by the mentor.
Music is a very powerful communication medium and it helps us find balance and calm, peace within us. Music begins to live on us and in the same way, Jay tests his mentees on what really ‘LIves on them, what makes them tick or untick or cool off” . This is a difficult exercise and Jay carefully chooses his mentees and whom to put to this test without announcing.
The third and final sub-set of this technique of S.T.E.M. is not from Music but another art form – Acting and it is called Rasa. It is said that Bharata Muni enunciated the eight Rasas in the Nātyasāstra, an ancient Sanskrit text of dramatic theory and other performance arts, written between 200 BC and 200 AD.
- In the Indian performing arts, a rasa is a sentiment or emotion evoked in each member of the audience by the art. The Natya (Acting) Shastra mentions six rasa in one section, but in the dedicated section on rasa it states and discusses eight primary rasa.
1Raudram rasa of the destructive fury of goddess Durga in Bharatanatyam
Related to love, eros (Śṛngāra, शृङ्गार)
Humorous, comic (Hāsya, हास्य)
Pathetic, disgust (Bībhatsa, बीभत्स)
Fury, anger (Raudra, रौद्र)
Compassion, sympathy (Kāruṇya, कारुण्य)
Heroic (Vīra, वीर)
Terrible, horrifying (Bhayānaka, भयानक)
Marvellous, amazing (Adbhuta, अद्भुत)
As an Accomplished mentor Jay Parkhe Tests the ABLE Mentees thru this E.S.T.M. Test and try out 2 o 3 of these parallels as Emotional stability tests. No mentee is ever ready to pass thru all 9 neiher is any mentor capable of conducting all without a sense of emotion, sadness at putting the mentee thru a grueling test, Scolding, presurising, autocratically, dominating which sometimes cracks the Best of mentees too.
As I have said before, these are not tests of Go, No Go nature -although they give a deep insight into the minds of the mentees and helps the mentor to specifically focus on the important ones.
I sought a Feedforward from my Mentees, Friends, Peers, Ex-Bosses and Mentors about this article.
The responses have been most overwhelming, challenging and quite motivating.
1,Thank you AVM from Bengaluru for this fabulous feedforward:
First of all fantastic compilation of the areas which suits very well to what you are doing currently
Below are my rating
- Coach – 10 (Can be one of the best coaches for startups and even top companies, especially with the amount of knowledge you possess with the experiences which you have gone through in life is a great insight for a beginner)
Connector – 10 (Always have seen your eagerness to help after we put across new proposal. The efforts you take to connect with the like minded people will really amaze me always. Kudos to that)
Cheerleader(Exec, startup, Biz) – 10 (Always on A game with the business strategies)
Educator – 10 (Beautiful educator especially the way you connect through your stories. I have had some amazing memories)
Ideator – 10 (This always tops my list. The amount of new ideas you generate on the go after knowing the business is fascinating)
Librarian – 9
Superstart and Idol – 10 (Definetely a great idol and role model for startups)
Challenger – 9 (Have seen instances vey often how to challenge team to get the action done after the strategy meeting)
Teammate – 9 (I have not seen this scenario, so would not like to comment on this. I am sure you would be the best teammate)
Brand – 9 (I liked Jay brand. Surely this goes well and i hope your knowledge reaches to many more lives and impact them immensely)
Coach and Mentor – 10 (Put together all the earlier points)” End Quote.
- Thank you SS from Mumbai on WhatsApp for 9/10 rating. Have requested you to share ratings on all points so that I shall take steps to improve.
- Thank you JJ for your kind comment Quote ” Why write this yourself why not instead make it like. 11 chapters written by 11 different mentees who would focus on that one trait they found most beneficial – in that showing all facets of your mentoring abilities and skill base . Like in style of the “one minute manager”, EndQuote
- A great lady Doctor Dr.SP whose service to humanity is unparalleled wrote in all humility Quote “Thanks sir Personally i feel it is too juvenile for me to answer these questions as you are too good to inspire,stimulate, guide and mentor anyone. We are blessed to have someone of your stature to mentor us.” End Quote.
- JK wrote on WhatsApp – Quote “Very Good Sir, Its impressive” End Quote.
- YS an Ex-colleague wrote in Marathi Quote ” Khup Chhan AAhe! with Two thumbs Up !”End Quote
- VSC wrote from Delhi – Quote” Shall read it thoroughly, As you are one good writer and Very Good Motivator “End quote.
- Retd Cdr. RP from Delhi wrote Quote “Thank you Sir, Seems to be a very well thought of and detailed description of your 11 Approaches” End Quote.
- My old colleague HP from Mumbai/ Kochi wrote: Quote “I perused. The approaches theory is different. You may want to add a bit more of examples in between. I find people respond more to this. Also after going through it thrice, I find it to be too serious, a bit of humour helps. Also you could reduce the repetition of Jay in the whole content as it seems to be too repetitive especially when the paragraphs are not large. You have also ended it very abruptly. You need to phase it out saying Jay is available on ___ etc etc ” End Quote. I shared the 5 Track Thinking behind the Article and what are my plans in the near future with my Peer HP. And I was delighted when he wrote back “Wow. Now I am tongue-tied. Hats off.” Thank you so much HP for kindly reading the article and sharing your insights, and keeping the Secret !
- Dr. (Mrs)S.D. from Pune another peer and Executive Development Trainer and Coach of repute said “Sir it is written very nicely but too lengthy I think”. And I mentioned to her that this is just an Outline of the things to follow and she also agreed “WOW. Look forward to”.
- JS my ex boss and Mentor and a very Senior Consultant from UAE / Dubai/ Abu Dhabi commented: Quote” It’s good .not sure of (Approach) No. 8 though That’s something your mentees should be writing Also not sure whether you should position yourselves as small brand. Others good. You could add sounding board and philosopher too.”End Quote Thank you JS for spending your valuable time to read and share your valuable comments.
- My Senior Cousin, Ex-General from Army, Ex-VC and Health Advisor to a Reputed University in Pune said “Difficult to Comment”. After clarifying the future plans over phone, as my True Connector Mentor; he asked me to write to him on Monday and agreed to introduce to senior University experts on Entrepreneurship, Startup Cells to discuss and carry my plans forward by seeking their collaboration. He agreed to do the honours! WOW! Thank you Dada!
- Mr. BM Mumbai/ Bangalore a current President of a Pharma Co, C-Level Executive Coach and Search consultant of the yesteryears said, Quote”How about (i)using pictures (ii)to weave it into a wonderful story… to begin with?” End Quote. I was privileged to speak to him over phone for 10 minutes to give him the context and plan. His response 👍🏼 “I get the contacts better now”. So there is after all a plan and some mystery surrounding the article
- DJ from Bangalore – a friend I found via Linkedin.com and an International Insurance Expert said, Quote “Beautiful. It captures the essence of what a mentor should be.” After sharing the context and plan – his reaction – “WOW! Look forward to”. Thank you DJ for your time and comments.
- My last Pro-Bono Mentee who went on a Fast track 55 day gruelling Coaching/Mentoring drive with me sent her scorecard: Quote “The score to all questions (except 8 and 9) is 8. (about approach No. 8 can’t say for the other mentees. Approach No. 9 (rating is) 6”
- Feedforward by SS
Chief Revenue Officer / Chief Operating Officer / P&L Head- Media, Health Care, Logistics & Supply Chain and Education
“Mr Parkhe is a wonderful person. He has mentored many people (including myself) who have benefitted immensely by his guidance. Always avaialable to give superb advise when your stuck or in a dilemma. I know of many people who have achieved stupendous success in their lives and careers through Mr Parkhe’s structured and meticulous mentoring. He’s a super coach !”
“Hi sir really a wonderful write up nice narratioN”
17 By BSK
Managing Partner at Text & Print
“Jay it was intEresting reading your work and business profile we are into sportswear manufacturing specially Football.”
Global C Level Retained Executive Search| Technology & Functional Leadership Hiring | Technology Entrepreneur
“Great article and an awesome write-up.”
19 By GK
Army Veteran experienced in Telecom, Security Management, Training, Administration, Procurement & Logistics
“Great synopsis….do connect , we manufacture footwear”
20. By JRI
“Jay is what he says he is, eleven rolled into one. Man of kindness and determination. He had a bit of health problem and the way he came back and started his daily walk one should admire. Kindness I find in him and he stands by what he says to all. I find consultants reluctant to direct another to probable end user, is not the case with Jay. There is a plentifulness in this world that he is ready to share with. Good man to follow. Happy he put it in 11 challenges that others face that he can happily resolve. “
Vice President, Regional Business Unit Brakes Components, Asia-Pacific – CHINA
“Very thoughtfully evaluated and described, variety of roles a mentor has to play. Apart from most important and trustful bond between mentor and mentee, mentor also plays vital role to harness technical, functional emotional, social competence to pursue own goals with determination. This all a experienced Dhananjay can well and truly deliver !! All the best”
22. DG- DELHI
“HI Sir i read it. Difficult for me to comment. People are multi-dimensional beings. I can’t conceptualise ppl by categorising their traits.
If i have to talk about someone i will do it in story form talking about how they experience life n see the world n how different the perspective is. HAPPY TO SERVE. “
23. RS -PUNE – EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR – Top Law Firm and Retired DGP- ED.
“Excellent write up. Summarises your capabilities pretty well. Keep Going.”
24 By SG
Director (Skill Education) PUNE
“Simply I can see , he is the perfect idol for any entrepreneur. All roles with detailed descriptions is truly Amazing. I personally vouch for his strategic inputs on challenges, funnelling our difficulties, make to understand us on focus of business, conceptual thinking , how to break the glass ceiling , I can give more then 10 marks for each role if it is in my hands”
Most appreciated SG. You are very kind – Jay
25.Ms. MK – Mumbai
“DP Sir as we all call him has been a wonderful guide,coach and a mentor to many of us who have been fortunate to work with him.One person who is always ready to embrace change, learn and apply new things and technically updated.These 11 points are just a synopsis of a bigger personality that he is.”
26. By PSB
Chairman of a leading NGO in Karnataka wrote
Quote”Thanks for considering myself to rate your excellency….On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being maximum, i would rate yourself at 9.25 over all…The reasons for 9.25 being:1. Your are creative thinker2. Critical thinker3. Motivational personality4. creates catalyst of mentor development5. impulsive nature6. Go an extra mile to ensure team grows and achieves the goal7. Do excellent background analysis8. Resource partnerThe reasons for 0.75 being:1. May need some time to analyze Students with their past historyand maybe through some physiological tests or studies on students which will help you to analyse them better and can groom based on their strength2. There is always scope for growth and this 0.75 can help you to build that.I feel for our Trust, your mentorship is just too proficient and adroit caliber and we are blessed to have you.”End Quote
In all I received the Ratings from over 100 of my recent mentee.. i wait till 30th April to receive all Feedforward and Scorecard and begin tabulating final scores for my personal improvement and development gap analysis. Meanwhile, There are few bloggers who began following me on http://www.parkhe.com and were reciprocated on their blogs
Apart from the 250+ personal messages, Smileys, Thumbs Ups, Hi-Fives from busy friends and Mentees and the Likes on the Linkedin Page – these Ladies and Gentlemen who wrote their comments Made my day. Sometimes – even a mentor needs to re-channelise his inward focus and negative energy – OUTWARD and Re-Create one’s own Brand Magic ! Thank you all for your kindness and your valuable time. Most appreciated.