My friend is in love with this Japanese Doc:) – WhatsApp forward – No offence meant


I Love this Japanese Doctor~🤔😊

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; its like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too.
Bottoms up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of one, sorry.
My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil.
How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!
It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure,
explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is also a shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Beer in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was”!!!!!😂

 

My friend who loves an undisciplined life and enjoys his drinks is in love with this Japanese Doctor it seems.

Its a WhatsApp forward. No offence is meant to any of my japanese Doctor friends.

My 9th article on JetAirways GlobalLinkers website for SMEs.


https://jetairways.globallinker.com/#network/share/article/19750

Just one article away from SME Expert Badge 🙂

Passive Aggressiveness: Why We Do it and How to Stop – Talkspace Online Therapy Blog


via Passive Aggressiveness: Why We Do it and How to Stop – Talkspace Online Therapy Blog

Flamingos fighting

You’re having a conversation at a party. It sounds normal enough, but something doesn’t feel right, although you can’t quite put your finger on what. You recognize that your friend is telling you something without telling you something — “I normally don’t like the way you dress, but that dress looks great on you!” she says.

Ouch. It hits you: She’s being passive aggressive.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing anger in a seemingly non-hostile way — a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings. It’s a behavior that encompasses more than just eye rolls and faux compliments; it involves a range of actions designed to get back at another person without him or her recognizing the underlying anger.

What Makes People Passive Aggressive?

Passive-aggressive behavior, while expressed in many different ways (sarcasm, the silent treatment, running late, to name a few), has the same roots: There is an underlying fear and avoidance of direct conflict, yet a feeling of powerlessness and helplessness.

There can be a number of reasons for the cause of the behavior. One is from a fear of anger. Most of us learn when growing up that it is bad to express anger inappropriately. The passive aggressive person has learned that expressing anger in any way is bad and that he or she is bad for feeling anger.

Another reason is based on upbringing. Children who are raised by overly controlling parents, in an environment where self-expression is not permitted, are forced to learn other ways to express feelings of anger and hostility. Since they are dependent upon their parents, they risk punishment if they don’t do as their parents say. Therefore, they lash out at their parents covertly and maintain that behavior into adulthood.

There are many other biological and environmental factors that can contribute to the development of passive aggressive behavior. A few of these include:

How to Stop Your Passive Aggressive Behavior

Whether you find yourself in a relationship with someone who displays their anger in a passive-aggressive manner, or you recognize such behavior patterns within yourself, consider eliminating this communication style in order to relate to others in a healthier, more effective way..
Learn to recognize the behavior, check your perceptions, confront it, and create a safe space to communicate in more assertive ways.

1. Recognize your behavior

The best way to nip passive aggressive behavior in the bud is to become aware of when you’re reacting in a passive aggressive way.

2. Understand why your behavior should be changed

It’s important to realize that passive-aggression is not less aggressive simply because it’s passive. Essentially, passive-aggression is an indirect form of aggression — not necessarily a milder form of aggression.

3. Give yourself time

Recognizing your own behaviors and understanding them is a good first step toward change, but altering your patterns and reactions can take some time.

4. Realize it’s OK to be angry

You can still be a positive person and feel emotions we typically label as negative. And you can be a loving friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, mother, father, son, or daughter while feeling anger in response to something the other person has done.

5. Be assertive, not aggressive

State facts clearly and be clear about your opinions. Let the person know the impact of her behavior in clear statements.

6. Be open to confrontation

While directing expressing your needs can lead to potential confrontation, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Keep in mind that confrontation can be direct and respectful — even if positivity isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you think of it.

Believe in Yourself

Avoiding the slide into passive aggressiveness requires closing the gap between anger and silence — either by dissipating anger or breaking the silence. The more you believe that you have the right to express your wants and needs, the less likely you are to fear being swayed by others’ opinions or rejected for voicing what you want. And the less you fear those things, the more direct you’re likely to be.

It’s a long, often difficult journey, but as a first step, practice listening to what you want and giving it to yourself. If you begin to treat your desires as important and valid and experience how good that feels, you’ll start to believe that you deserve similar treatment from other people.

Random Phrases today with Creativity boosters for the day.


Great Sunday.  5th meeting of Toastmasters in 3rd Club of Bangalore. Young, vibrant crowd mixed with some bearded oldies and middle aged Techies.

  1. Love Birds Meaning: A pair of people who have a shared love for each other. No. did not happen. Day of course, began different. 
  2. Jaws of Death Meaning: Being in a dangerous or very deadly situation.  No. Not really. Saw a Premier movie for a while but did not experience it 🙂 
  3. Two Down, One to Go Meaning: Two things have been completed, but there is one more that has yet to be finished. Yes. Today’s short walk left the Udemy course study unfinished for the day .
  4. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses. Experienced this later in the day with two Excuse Masters cleverly negotiating with each other. 
  5. Right Off the Bat Meaning: Immediately, done in a hurry; without delay. Yes. without any inhibition responded emails and gave guidance to even a mail marked FYI 🙂 🙂 . Lessons repeated in Communications. 
  6. Break The Ice Meaning: Breaking down a social stiffness.  Great speeches by two youngsters and one International Humorist champs at Toastmasters. The breaking the ice speech was literally great. 
  7. A Chip on Your Shoulder Meaning: Being angry about something that happened in the past. Yes. I still carry one anger chip on my shoulder. 
  8. Shot In the Dark Meaning: An attempt that has little chance for success.  no like hope taking shot in the dark is not part of my strategy. 
  9. Let Her Rip Meaning: Permission to start, or it could mean ‘go faster!’  If the brainfog is gone and wiser sense prevails – you don’t need any permission. 
  10. Wake Up Call Meaning: An occurance of sorts that brings a problem to somebody’s attention and they realize it needs fixing.  Hmmm… will wait and watch though. 
  11. Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  Yes. even while in an angry tone, try not to rant. 🙂

Random Acts of Kindness – Choose one. I have.


  1. Save water – take a shorter shower today
  2. Make someone’s day – tell a friend why you appreciate them
  3. Fight climate change – go vegetarian for today!
  4. Someone wronged you? Forgive them
  5. Taking public transport? Offer your seat to someone else
  6. Feed a stray animal if you spot one
  7. Surprise your parents with flowers
  8. Old laptop or mobile lying around? Donate it
  9. Help somebody with a chore they need done!
  10. No matter how annoying they can be, tell your siblings how much you appreciate them

10 Of The Weirdest Things The Chinese Government Has Banned


10 Of The Weirdest Things The Chinese Government Has Banned

OLIVER TAYLOR 

Censorship is a big deal in China, where the government has made it clear that it will go to any length to control information. The Chinese government strictly controls news spread through the Internet and mass media, consequently deciding what its citizens know and what they do not.

Several Western companies—including Google and Facebook—have either left or been banned in China over censorship and privacy issues, leaving Chinese-owned companies that the government can easily manipulate in their place.

Away from the Internet, China has also banned several other weird things—usually for ridiculous reasons. Although the government often says otherwise, most of the items on this list were banned for political reasons.

10Hip-Hop

Photo credit: The Independent

Hip-hop songs and hip-hop artists with tattoos are prohibited in China. The ban was issued through the State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television (SAPPRFT), which stated that hip-hop artists had refused to toe the line of the ruling Chinese Communist Party (CCP).

SAPPRFT ruled that media agencies must not feature artists who use vulgar or “tasteless” lyrics and artists whose “heart and morality” differ from that of the ruling CCP. Additionally, the artists must neither be classless nor questionable.[1]

Weeks before the ban was issued, two popular Chinese hip-hop artists, Wang Hao (stage name “PG One”) and Zhou Yan (stage name “GAI”) had been sanctioned for what the government called “bad behavior” and use of lyrics that were not aligned with the ideology of the CCP. PG One was also accused of using lyrics that insulted women and promoted drug use.

9Time Travel

Photo credit: chinahush.com

Films and television shows depicting time travel have been disallowed in China since April 2011. The government stated that the ban was necessary because movies depicting time travel are often historically inaccurate and filled with feudalism, superstition, and reincarnation, all of which are capable of distorting and insulting the history of China.

The ban came at a time when time travel films were gaining popularity. Their plots often involved people teleporting from modern China to ancient China. The events in the fictional ancient China were usually modeled after real events that happened in ancient China but with some exaggerations. The government fears that this could alter citizens’ opinions of the past.[2]

8Celebrity Gossip

Photo credit: newsweek.com

Around June 8, 2017, several Chinese blogs and social media accounts that were focused on celebrity gossip mysteriously disappeared from the Chinese web. It was later revealed that they had been shut down on the orders of the government. Apparently, the government had called representatives of several big Chinese Internet companies to a meeting and had given them a list of 60 blogs and social media accounts it wanted shut down.

According to the government, the ban was necessary because the blogs and social media accounts were of “poor taste” and did not promote “socialist values.” The shutdown was surprising to many Internet users because the government had often left sports and entertainment news uncensored.[3]

7Reincarnation

Photo credit: Christopher

China has banned reincarnation. That is, people who claim to be back from the dead. Anyone who wants to be reincarnated or claims to have been reincarnated needs to seek approval from the government and follow the rules as listed by the Chinese State Administration for Religious Affairs.

Despite its hilariousness, the prohibition has very real religious and political undertones. It is targeted at all Tibetan Buddhists, specifically the Dalai Lama, the spiritual and political leader of the Tibetan people and followers of Tibetan Buddhism.

Tibet used to be an independent country. Then, over five decades ago, China invaded and added the country to its territory. The Dalai Lama fled Tibet for India, where he still holds sway over Tibetans.

They believe that the Dalai Lama is capable of reincarnation after death. Considering that the current Dalai Lama is already old, a successor is bound to be appointed within the next few years or decades. By controlling who can be reincarnated, China will be able to decide who becomes the Dalai Lama. When this happens, it will be able to bring all Tibetans and Tibetan Buddhists under state control.

Even if the Dalai Lama decides to be reincarnated among Tibetans outside China (maybe in India or the United States), China could refuse to recognize that Dalai Lama. It could even appoint another Dalai Lama from the Tibetan population in China, leaving Tibetans with two Dalai Lamas. This will inevitably cause disagreement and confusion among Tibetans.[4]

6Puns

Photo credit: The Guardian

No pun intended, puns are banned in China. They are commonly used on the Chinese Internet and media where Chinese words, characters, phrases, and idioms are slightly adjusted to give them different meanings. The government claimed that the ban was necessary because puns eroded Chinese culture and could mislead people (especially kids) or cause what it called “cultural and linguistic chaos.”[5]

However, it is known that the ban was not intended to preserve Chinese culture or prevent whatever the government meant by “cultural and linguistic chaos.” Rather, it was intended to stop Internet users from using puns to bypass Internet censorship and mock the government.

5‘I Disagree’

Photo credit: Narendra Modi

In March 2018, the China National People’s Congress voted to expunge the law that limited the president’s rule to two five-year terms. This is believed to be the first step in President Xi Jinping’s attempt to rule China for life. The government had kept all preparations under wrap and only hinted of the proposed amendment two weeks earlier.

Some citizens opposed the proposed amendment and openly criticized it on social media. Many compared China to North Korea and used the phrase “I disagree” to show their disapproval. That continued until the government banned the phrase. Internet users who made posts containing “I disagree” got an error message in return.[6]

Besides “I disagree,” the government also banned ”migration,” “boarding a plane,” “life-long rule,” “long live the emperor,” and Animal FarmAnimal Farm is the name of the popular novel by George Orwell, while “boarding a plane” is similar to a Chinese phrase meaning “ascending the throne”—as in Xi Jinping was trying to become king.

4Winnie-The-Pooh

Photo credit: BBC

The Chinese government banned Winnie-the-Pooh after it realized that its citizens were comparing the fictional character to President Xi Jinping. Due to Internet censorship, Chinese citizens are unable to use certain words on the Internet. So they often find creative ways to bypass censorship and use these words. One method is by using different words or characters to represent people and events. For President Xi Jinping, it was Pooh.

When a picture of Xi Jinping shaking hands with Shinzo Abe, Japan’s prime minister, surfaced on the Internet, Chinese citizens responded with pictures of Pooh shaking hands with Eeyore the donkey. When another picture showing Xi Jinping popping his head out of his presidential limousine surfaced, the people responded with a picture of Pooh popping his head out of a toy car.

The ban was not the first time that pictures of Pooh were prohibited on the Chinese Internet. Earlier, a ban came because the Chinese Communist Party was preparing for a congress and there were concerns that more questionable pictures of Pooh might pop up.[7]

3Livestreaming

Photo credit: theconversation.com

China disallowed livestreaming after realizing that it could not be censored like other online content. This wasn’t the reason the government gave, though. They stated that the prohibition was necessary to clean the Chinese Internet. The ban was issued in June 2017 and was targeted at Sina Weibo, China’s equivalent of Twitter, and Ifeng and AcFun, two video sharing sites similar to YouTube.

Livestreaming was gaining popularity at the time of the ban and involved unusual technologies that the government was not used to censoring. For instance, in 2016, Ifeng livestreamed the US presidential election, something the Chinese government would not have ordinarily allowed. So they just instituted the ban while they worked on censorship.[8]

2‘N’

The letter “n,” the innocent 14th letter of the English alphabet, was another unfortunate victim of China’s censorship. The ban came after China announced its plans to remove the two-term limit for president.

In mathematics, the Chinese use the letter “n” the same way we use the letter “x.” So “n” stands for unknown or infinity. Chinese citizens were using the letter to denote the number of years that Xi Jinping will remain in power. However, the government probably realized that the letter “n” had other uses and lifted the ban a day later.[9]

1Religion

Photo credit: The Independent

China categorizes itself as an atheist nation. Although it prefers that its citizens remain atheists, the government claims to allow freedom of religion. However, serving and retired members of the ruling Chinese Communist Party are banned from having a religion. They cannot get involved in religious activities and are expected to act against certain religions like the Falun Gong, which the government categorizes as an evil cult.

The so-called freedom of religion is a sham because the state strictly regulates religions, decides how they operate, and bans them when it suspects they are acting against its goals. The government also regulates religious books, traditions, and methods and places of worship. It does not hesitate to ban them when necessary. For instance, churches require state approval to operate.[10]

The government also holds a monopoly over the distribution of Bibles, determines who becomes a church leader, and regulates Christian holidays. The government used to be lax about its monopoly over the distribution of Bibles until recently. Then it started clamping down on the online sales of Bibles.

China does not allow the Vatican to independently appoint Catholic bishops in their country, either. Rather, the government negotiates with the Vatican to determine who can become a bishop. At one time, the Chinese government even banned Christmas.

Muslims are not treated any better. The government has banned Muslim names, dress styles, and traditions. Muslim women cannot wear burkas, and men cannot have beards. Parents cannot give their children Islamic names, either.

In 2017, China banned Muslim civil servants from fasting during Ramadan, the Islamic month when Muslims are expected to fast. It even stationed guards at government buildings all day and night to ensure that the ban was enforced.

The government also demanded that students in Muslim-majority regions watch communist films and engage in sports on Fridays, just to stop them from fasting and participating in joint community prayers that are held on Fridays. China also has strict guidelines to determine who performs hajj, an annual pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia. The government demands that any Muslim who wants to make the hajj pilgrimage must be between 50 and 70 and must pledge allegiance to the government.

WOW ! 400 Followers – Again ! Thank you.


I never thought, I would have any followers or BFFFs as I have come to call my readers – The Best Friends, Followers and Fans!  I love them and their comments and likes. I like to read their blogs and like and comment.

For a short while when I reached a 360 number, I added a blog one of my mentees made and made me an Admin.  While setting it up I don’t know what I did – all 360 were migrated to her blog and I was at ZERO ! WOW – WordPress, I said.  But soon, I withdrew as Admin as she appointed social media interns to manage her blog but the followers and friends and fans did not return.

I said, OK. So be it ! But after about 10 days or so as I see 400 or you back – I feel so deeply grateful to you all – let me say a BIG THANK YOU !

 

6 legit jobs that seem too good to be true | Ladders


Who says working a 9-to-5 job has to be a drag? Turning your biggest passion or a fun pastime into a career can make you start loving your life during the week rather than merely living for the weekend. And you’d be surprised by how many pleasurable activities in life can be turned into professions. Here are six unique passions you can turn into a career — and how to do it.

1. For the one who values sleep above all else: Professional sleeper
If you love snoozing more than most other things in life, being a professional sleeper probably sounds like your dream career.

Job Description: A professional sleeper is just what it sounds like — you get paid to sleep. Professional sleepers are employed for a variety of reasons. Some are hired by scientists and sleep research facilities for the purpose of analyzing a person’s sleep patterns to learn more about sleep itself and what goes on in the human brain during it. Others are hired by manufacturers to test the effectiveness of various sleep-related products — mattresses, pillows, room lighting and, in some cases, new sleeping pills.

Required Skills and Qualifications:

The ability to sleep in new surroundings away from home for long periods of time
The ability to sleep with potential wires attached to you, knowing that people are watching you
Being overall fit and healthy
The ability to write compelling and interesting reports about your quality of sleep at any given time
Good observational skills
Not bothered by spending a lot of time secluded from others
Great communication and interpersonal skills
Pay: On average, $66,000 a year. But it could be more or less than that, depending on the company that hires you, the location of your job and your previous experience.

via 6 legit jobs that seem too good to be true | Ladders

Jay’s Mantra-Random Acts of Kindness Today.


  1. Go out of your way to thank someone today!
  2. Make someone a cup of coffee
  3. Who will be making dinner for your family today? Tag, you’re it!
  4. Buy someone a coffee
  5. Go the day without complaining
  6. Help someone struggling with heavy bags
  7. Pay for someone else’s meal today
  8. Remember that friend you haven’t seen for ages? Give them a call
  9. Good servicing requires a lot of effort; tip them!
  10. Know someone who’s feeling under the weather? Pay them a visit!

Fun Idioms Generated for the day: Creativity Exercises by the JayMentor


  • Sometimes, the help that comes is so slow in coming it can be termed as
  • That’s Helping A Snail Cross The Road.
    ———————
  • Just as a college is meaningless without students or teachers
  • A Library Is Meaningless Without Readers.
    ———————
  • Sometimes the Empathy / Sympathy expressed is so Verbose that I feel
  • When Comfort Turns To Discomfort.
    ———————
  • Making A Meal Out Of Nothing.  Any suggestions?
    ———————
  • There’s No Plan For Madness.  Not in my dictionary.  What about you? 🙂 

Heart Of Gold Free verse by JAY


 

Heart Of Gold

Free verse by JAY

An aminophylline, however hard it tries,
Will always be GOLD.
Are you upset by how gilt it is?
Does it tear you apart to see the aminophylline so chromatic?

I cannot help but stop and look at underlying metal.
Never forget the subjacent and basic metal.

The spot that’s really cunning,
Above all others is the marble.
Mmm.
Why is it so cunning?

And the Autogenerated third version is given below 🙂

Heart Of Gold

Free verse by JAY

An aminophylline, however hard it tries,
Will always be GOLD.
Never forget the aureate and gilded aminophylline.

I cannot help but stop and look at underlying metal.
Now fundamental is just the thing,
To get me wondering if metal are rudimentary.

The zany marble sings like a veined hair
Mmm. mmm, mmm.

These are the 10 habits of unlikeable people | Ladders. I CONFESS. I have them too.


via These are the 10 habits of unlikeable people | Ladders

No one is perfect. But that’s a very lame excuse! No? I read this article and said. Oh, Gosh! I have the same habits which surface at wrong times.  Interesting article for deeper personal introspection and improvement.  LIked and shared.

 

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THE WHOLE HUMAN

10 habits of unlikeable people

Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few — the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

In a study conducted at UCLA, subjects rated over 500 descriptions of people based on their perceived significance to likeability. The top-rated descriptors had nothing to do with being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive (innate characteristics). Instead, the top descriptors were sincerity, transparency, and capable of understanding (another person).

These adjectives, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence. TalentSmartresearch data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable; they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.


Ladders is now on SmartNews!

Download the SmartNews app and add the Ladders channel to read the latest career news and advice wherever you go.


Likeability is so critical to your success at work that it can completely alter your performance. A University of Massachusetts study found that managers were willing to accept an auditor’s argument with no supporting evidence if he or she was likeable, and Jack Zenger found that just 1 in 2,000 unlikeable leaders were considered effective by their colleagues.

Being likeable is as much about avoiding behaviors that decrease your likeability as it is about magnifying those that increase it. To help you with this, I did some digging to uncover the key behaviors that hold people back when it comes to likeability. Make certain these behaviors don’t catch you by surprise.

Name-dropping

It’s great to know important and interesting people, but using every conversation as an opportunity to name-drop is pretentious and silly. Just like humble-bragging, people see right through it. Instead of making you look interesting, it makes people feel as though you’re insecure and overly concerned with having them like you. It also cheapens what you have to offer. When you connect everything you know with whoyou know (instead of what you know or what you think), conversations lose their color.

People are averse to those who are desperate for attention. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over. When you speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, people are much more attentive and persuadable than if you try to show them that you’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than who you know.

Emotional hijackings

My company provides 360° feedback assessments, and we come across far too many instances of people throwing things, screaming, making people cry, and other telltale signs of an emotional hijacking. An emotional hijacking demonstrates low emotional intelligence. As soon as you show that level of instability, people will question whether or not you’re trustworthy and capable of keeping it together when it counts.

Exploding at anyone, regardless of how much they might “deserve it,” turns a huge amount of negative attention your way. You’ll be labeled as unstable, unapproachable, and intimidating. Controlling your emotions keeps you in the driver’s seat. When you’re able to control your emotions around someone who wrongs you, they end up looking bad instead of you.

Humble-bragging

We all know those people who like to brag about themselves behind the mask of self-deprecation. For example, the gal who makes fun of herself for being a nerd when she really wants to draw attention to the fact that she’s smart or the guy who makes fun of himself for having a strict diet when he really wants you to know how healthy and fit he is. While many people think that self-deprecation masks their bragging, everyone sees right through it. This makes the bragging all the more frustrating, because it isn’t just bragging; it’s also an attempt to deceive.

Whipping out your phone

Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation. You’ll find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.

Having a closed mind

If you want to be likeable, you must be open-minded, which makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is unwilling to listen. Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, where approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require that you believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means that you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick.

Not asking enough questions

The biggest mistake people make in conversation is being so focused on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what’s being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening but that you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.

Being too serious

People gravitate toward those who are passionate. That said, it’s easy for passionate people to come across as too serious or uninterested, because they tend to get absorbed in their work. Likeable people balance their passion for their work with their ability to have fun. At work they are serious, yet friendly. They still get things done because they are socially effective in short amounts of time and they capitalize on valuable social moments. They focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers, remembering what people said to them yesterday or last week, which shows people that they are just as important to them as their work is.

Gossiping

People make themselves look terrible when they get carried away with gossiping. Wallowing in talk of other people’s misdeeds or misfortunes may end up hurting their feelings if the gossip ever finds its way to them, but gossiping is guaranteed to make you look negative and spiteful every time.

Sharing too much, too early

While getting to know people requires a healthy amount of sharing, sharing too much about yourself right off the bat comes across wrong. Be careful to avoid sharing personal problems and confessions too quickly. Likeable people let the other person guide them as to when it’s the right time for them to open up. Over-sharing comes across as self-obsessed and insensitive to the balance of the conversation. Think of it this way: if you’re getting into the nitty gritty of your life without learning about the other person first, you’re sending the message that you see them as nothing more than a sounding board for your problems.

Sharing too much on social media

Studies have shown that people who over-share on social media do so because they crave acceptance, but the Pew Research Center has revealed that this over-sharing works against them by making people dislike them. Sharing on social media can be an important mode of expression, but it needs to be done thoughtfully and with some self-control. Letting everyone know what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner along with how many times you walked your dog today will do much more harm than good when it comes to likeability.

Bringing it all together

When you build your awareness of how your actions are received by other people, you pave the way to becoming more likeable.