When angry, upset or in dilemma – channelize energies positively. I do.

65 Actionable Branding Strategies UC-TVCGGHH4screenshot_20180719-0854205634586086810228064.jpgPrecision communication - NLP meta model UC-O4O2Q2SF

The Mentor and the MonaLisa Rhyming Couplet Ideas -Ver 1.0 by Jay

The Mentor and the MonaLisa

Rhyming Couplet Ideas by Jay

See the snuffing of the Mentor,
I think he’s angry at the core.

He finds it hard to see the accidental,
Overshadowed by the brainy rental.

Who is that practicing near the coat?
I think she’d like to eat the goat.

She is but a cunning rani,
Admired as she sits upon a sirianni.

Her crazed Snake is just a Car,
It needs no gas, it runs on double Bar.

She’s not alone she brings a Helix,
a pet Frog, and lots of felix.

The Frog likes to chase a Monolith,
Especially one that’s in the rhinesmith.

The Mentor shudders at the sarcastic goat
He want to leave but she wants his coat.

See ver 2.0 on my blog https://csuitementor.blogspot.com/

Jay’s Quick Poetry-The Sharp And Grand Rock

Short story that inspired me to write a Quick Poem below

Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls — family, health, friends, integrity — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.

The Sharp And Grand Rock

A Poem by Jay Parkhe

Whose rock is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite angry though.
He was cross like a dark potato.
I watch him pace. I cry A’llo.

He gives his rock a shake,
And screams you’ve made a bad mistake.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant glasses and bars awake.

The Rock is sharp, Grand and deep,
But he has promises to keep,
Tormented with nightbirds he never sleeps.
Revenge is a promise a man must keep.

He rises from his flat bed,
With thoughts of violence in his head,
A flash of rage and he sees red.
Without a men-O-pause you turned and fled.

With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure

Making Anger work for you – I did.

I was angry, very very angry and defocused and depressed on 13th May.

I channelised my energies to get 14 new learnings and certifications from Udemy on subjects I had never explored.

My blog is in front of you which now has over 21ooo views, 11500 likes and on linkedin I now have over 13000 follower.  I focused and channelised my anger and negative energies to convert it into POSITIVE.

The result – My Sugar average for90 days fell to 6.75. Weight dropped by 12 kilos and my BP came normal. My heart doctor permitted me to travel ! WOW!

Make Anger Work for You

Why Feeling Your Anger is Good for You

A man yelling in anger

Hell hath no fury like me in a political argument. My heart pounds. My breath speeds. My face reddens. I look like I just worked out, but that sweaty, vibrant flush is pure, righteous anger.

Wise people throughout human history have taught us to beware the excesses of anger. Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and ancient Greek philosophy all provide some choice wisdom on the subject. Science bears these teachings out. Frequent, intense, or prolonged anger causes physical and psychological stress, increasing our risk of committing intimate partner violencegetting into a car crashabusing drugs, and even suffering from heart disease.

Anger is also associated with several mental illnesses, like Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, and can exacerbate the symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Yet there’s another body of evidence, which indicates that not all anger is bad. Indeed, psychologists argue that in moderate doses, anger can: motivate us, make us more creative, deepen our relationships, help us advocate against social ills, and inspire us to pursue our goals.

Imagine anger as a big dog. When it’s out of control, that dog becomes a risk not only to intruders but to its owner. But sometimes, a barking dog can help keep its owner safe — as long as the owner trusts the dog won’t turn on them or their loved ones. In the same way, by dealing with anger mindfully, we can channel our rage to address the underlying issue — without the big dog of our anger turning around and biting us in the process.

The Surprising Benefits of Seeing Red

Just like our dogs bark when a suspicious stranger comes to the door, anger is the human brain’s way of signalling that something just isn’t right. Human beings are highly attuned to standards of fairness, and when we experience disappointment, disrespect, injustice, or unmet expectations, we may become angry.

That’s not inherently a bad thing. At best, anger can be a mark of conscience. As the American Psychological Association points out, if it weren’t for righteous anger at injustice, women may still not have the right to vote. In our personal lives, anger can help us work harder to achieve our goals. Several studies have found that anger can help us advocate for ourselves, with people who demonstrated anger in mock negotiations having their demands met more often than people who projected happiness.

While anger can distort our thinking and make it difficult to reason calmly, under certain conditions it can actually make us more rational. Even the irrational side of anger can be good, making us more creative. While in the long term, anger is an exhausting and unsustainable emotion, research has shown that feeling anger allows us to think in more unstructured ways for short periods of time, opening our minds to inspiration.

When Your Anger Keeps You Back

Seeing red isn’t always rosy. While anger itself is value-neutral, dealing with that anger inappropriately — either by repressing it or by harming ourselves and others — can have negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships. Think again of that dog: if you let it run wild without any training at all, it will bite you; but if you keep it in a cage all the time, it may act out against strict restraints.

Unhealthy ways of coping with anger include aggression toward yourself or others, like shouting, screaming, physical violence, and self harm. Some people may become passive aggressive, withdrawing and acting out rather than engaging affirmatively with the conflict.

While aggression can help us get what we want, it can also have negative long-term consequences. Anger helps us most in negotiations when the person we’re negotiating with is less powerful than us or has fewer options than we do. While we should be assertive in advocating for ourselves, there’s a fine line between being a tough negotiator and a bully: no one wants to be that person screaming curses at a service worker in public.

Channeling Anger in a Healthy Way

So how do we train the dog? Just like we’d search for what made our dog bark so we can address the threat, we can understand what our anger is telling us and make positive changes.

Some psychologists recommend the STAR-R system as a way of mindfully dealing with anger. STAR-R stands for Stop, Think, Ask, Reduce, and Reward. If you find anger is overwhelming you and affecting your daily life in a negative way, you can use whatever method works for you. The shared goal is to slow a situation down and take a moment to think so we don’t harm ourselves and others.

Let’s use the example of me in a political argument, with which I started the piece, to understand how the STAR-R system works. Picture me, sitting at a friend’s kitchen table as another guest makes comments I find offensive. My heart is beating faster. My color and voice are both rising. I’m about to shout something spiteful or aggressive rather than engaging and productive.

First, I can stop. I can check in with how I’m feeling. I can notice my racing heart, my labored breathing, and the burning feeling in my chest. I can begin to calm myself down by taking a long, slow breath.

Next, I can think. What will happen if I lose my temper? While I may genuinely find this person’s behavior objectionable, if I scream at them or insult them, they will disengage and double down on their viewpoint, and I won’t be able to get my point across or change their mind.

Then, I can ask. Why am I so angry? Are their comments discriminatory against my identity or the identity of my loved ones? Am I hungry and tired, and thus have a shorter fuse than usual? Are there more productive ways I can engage with this person and issue to enact the social change I care about? At this stage, I can imagine alternative ways to approach the situation in order to address the underlying problem. For example, I could invite my “opponent” to have a longer discussion over coffee; I could go shout slogans at a protest; or if my opponent has a misconception about mental health, I could help educate myself and others by writing an article about the issue for Talkspace!

Finally, I can reduce my anger by taking a moment away from the conversation to collect myself, or by having a snack if I’m hungry and irritable (hanger is real!).

The final step in STAR-R is reward. This calls for acknowledging when we’ve successfully approached our anger mindfully instead of acting out, and perhaps giving ourselves a well-deserved treat.

Make Anger Work for You

There’s nothing shameful about a dog barking when it’s hurt or hears a scary noise. In the same way, there’s nothing inherently wrong with anger. Rather than shying away from anger, repressing it, or losing our heads at every slight, we can view anger as our body’s invitation to address an unmet need, right a social wrong, or solve a conflict.

Anger is a powerful emotion and coping with it in a healthy way is hard work. We won’t always get it right, but we can acknowledge our effort, channel our anger into things we really care about, and — as always! — commit to growth.

I did and since 13th May I got 14 certifications. Got 20000 Views on my blog and 10000 likes and now have nearly 13000 followers on Linkedin – visit http://www.parkhe.com

The Sarcastic And Thundery Best Friend A Poem by Jay

The Sarcastic And Thundery Best Friend

A Poem by Jay

Whose best friend is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite angry though.
She was cross like a dark potato.
I watch her pace. I cry hello.

She gives her best friend a shake,
And screams I’ve made a bad mistake.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

The best friend is sarcastic, thundery and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
Tormented with nightmares she never sleeps.
Revenge is a promise a girl should keep.

She rises from her cursed bed,
With thoughts of violence in her head,
A flash of rage and she sees red.
Without a pause I turned and fled.

With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.

How’ll the day unfold for me, Stars… errr .. The Random phrases foretell

  1. Keep Your Shirt On Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset. Yes. This is coming true. 
  2. Wouldn’t Harm a Fly Meaning: Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle. I started with a Narcissist’s shameless self promo WhatsApp messages bombarded every day. I know the guy is desperate to make money but this has to stop.
  3. Don’t Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth Meaning: When you receive a gift from someone, do not be ungrateful. I experience the converse all the time by giving gifts. I made a rule, never to expect even a thank you, leave along a word of gratitude in any other phrase. 
  4. Tug of War Meaning: It can refer to the popular rope pulling game or it can mean a struggle for authority.  This is one constant struggle,  like everyone I go thru.
  5. Break The Ice Meaning: Breaking down a social stiffness. Social stiffness can go away but how do deal with the inner =Gut stiffness – IDK  know. Not -yet atleast.

What is True Freedom?

WHAT IS TRUE FREEDOM?: By freedom I mean freedom from afflictions, from anger, and from despair. If you have anger in you, you have to transform anger in order to get your freedom back. If there is despair in you, you need to recognize that energy and not allow it to overwhelm you. You have to practice in such a way that you transform the energy of despair and attain the freedom you deserve – the freedom from despair.

You can practice freedom every moment of your daily life. Every step you take can help you reclaim your freedom. Every breath you take can help you develop and cultivate your freedom. When you eat, eat as a free person. When you walk, walk as a free person. When you breathe, breathe as a free person. This is possible anywhere.

-Thich Nhat Hanh