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Why uncertainty beats certainty – Ozan Varol

 

Wonderful, insightful article by a Rocket scientist.

I liked it. Sharing.

Dhananjay Jay Parkhe Mentor 7via Why uncertainty beats certainty – Ozan Varol

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I liked this parable : Mathew 13

The Parable of the Sower (sometimes called the Parable of the Soils) is a parable of Jesusfound in the three Synoptic Gospels in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15.

In the story, a sower sows seed and does so indiscriminately. Some seed falls on the path (wayside) with no soil, some on rocky ground with little soil, and some on soil which contained thorns. In these cases the seed is taken away or fails to produce a crop, but when it falls on good soil it grows, yielding thirty, sixty, or a hundredfold.

Jesus then (only in the presence of his disciples) explains that the seed represents the Gospel (the sower being anyone who proclaims it), and the various soils represent people’s responses to it (the first three representing rejection while the last represents acceptance.

I’m a gardener Mentor. I try and die the seeds to make Dreams grow into ambitions, translating into Vision, mission, goals, objectives, action plans, biz, marketing plans etal.

In my efforts, sometimes I come across very distressed mentees. I have to work on making the soil good as they have rocky soil of past bad experiences, thorny soil which does not allow seeds to germinate, or find soil. I spend 5, 13, 26, 52 weeks depending upon the STATE, and SITUATION.

I Sometimes come across Sand, silt or clay land or simply rocky land. Rarely I find delta land ( usualy in C Suite execs) which is fertile . Each gets a different mentor treatment.

It works. There are failures too. As the mentorees stop responding and throw seeds on footpath – it is eaten by birds and pigeons.

In one case, after sowing 150 revenue ideas and rigorously, tilling the land I found failure. I decided to move on. As the farmer/ mentoree just did not understand and allowed my gardening efforts fail.

Sad but true! It happens.

Gardener then moves on too…

Decide First! Right or wrong comes later

Happy Mother’s Day! The toughest of your lesson was Wean to Win!

From a Single parent raised by my mom when I became an Orphan I learnt the biggest lesson.  My mom once told me that Weaning a child who is breast fed and the mom stops feeding him/ her is the toughest challenge a 6-8 month kid faces in their life.  It initially makes them rebellious, cranky, crying and persuading the mother to somehow agree to feed the child her milk.  I first observed it closely in Agricultural college in the Veterinary classes. I then observed this more closely in family where children were born and understood when i faced this personally.

When a mother leaves for her heavenly abode that is the WORST phase in any loving son/ daughters’life.

I learnt this lesson and rarely used this with few mentees and observed the similar behavior.  When a mentor gives Emotional Investment in the mentee the mentee relationship changes from Adult/Adult transactions to Parent/Child relationships.  If not well handled this can make Mentoring go haywire and once in my experiene it did. And I could not handle it being a male/ a father/ a grandfather – NO ONE, NO ONE can ever replace a mother in our lives.

Did you know…

… that today, besides being Mother’s Day (Happy Mother’s Day to all you fabulous moms!) is National Apple Pie Day? And what better way to celebrate than with a slice of pie?!

~~~

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”

— Dorothy Canfield Fisher

My mother wanted me to have a STATUS atleast two levels above her and my father who were Government Teacher and father a PS to the Chief Secretary.  I was refused permission to join Armed forces, refused permission to join ( Even though I was the 1st person selected) to be a Lifetime Non-Sanyasi Hindu Missionary to work in North East for Vivekananda Kendra, Kanyakumari.

I was allowed to do menial work, child labour, odd jobs, even becoming a Sales person at 12 and was religiously funded for 3 years my typing lessons as a skill which I hated but she would say, The skills remain with us for life.  She sent me to hobby classes to College band, All indoor and outdoor sports and games, learn to play flute, drawing, painting, sewing, stitching, tailoring and every skill I could acquire like electrician, cycle and motorcycle repairer etc. etc.  The quote was “Learn to find dignity in labour and never look down on any one”.  These stuck in my life, they taught me to be humble and have humility.  My father died when I was  12, he was stickler and Sticked me heavily whenever i made mistakes.  His teaching was never chase money, build goodwill, learn to give and build a reputation – God keeps the count, pray to him to be able to give more. What profound Gyan for the Babyboomer!  I grew and groomed on such teachings and was taken to many spiritual, academic, business mentors to learn from them.

My mother broke tradition and became an Entrepreneur starting the First Montessory school at home for kindergarten children in 1957 ( I have written a full chapter in my book published about Start up Mentoring – published on Amazon. in).

We miss you, Akka!

 

Do you believe in Cards? – Gut feeling, intution, sixth sense? – A skeptics POV.

While I claim to be a Skeptic, I sometimes trust these cards which can be drawn online like Tarot Carot cards from the various Apps.
I have indulged a lot in the early 80’s in Astrology, Palmistry, Astro-Palmistry, Face Reading, body language, Gypsy Thumb reading, Hast Sanjivani etc. and I had reached a very high degree of accuracy in predictions till two things happened.
a. In 1980 I got married and two very elderly grand old people in 90’s asked me to predict their death.  It is taboo but under influence of liquor and their love and pressure, I succumbed.
b. I met a Saint, an year later who similarly asked me about his STAGE / SPIRITUAL STATE and how many more rebirths he will have and again a Taboo – I did.
The first two predictions came true.  The saint warned me that my Vidya – Wisdom and the Blessings to predict will vanish as I have already done three things taboo for astrologers.  It did happen. It was his self-fulfilling prophecy.  I lost touch with subject and stopped trusting numerology, and all other forms of occult predictions, planchette et al.
Recently I came across this App and I now have 12 of them.  I somehow find that their daily one card predictions about the STATE OF MY MIND, MY EMOTION ARE GENERALLY RIGHT.
No, this is not about promoting the Apps or I  am not a paid blogger or anything. I am just sharing what happened this morning.
I drew this card.
The “Angelic Energy” card:
(This card depicts the angelic energy related to your question.)

[ SEEK THE TRUTH ]

MESSAGE: The truth you seek is already within you. Listen, observe, and trust.

Everything you need to know is already within you. You were born in truth and with that, Universal knowledge is in each of your body’s cells. You pulled this card today because your situation is testing your inner knowledge. Stop. Be still. Breathe. Hold this situation in your abdomen and see how your body reacts. If it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t. If you feel peaceful and content, it is truth-based and positive for you to act upon. Don’t discount your own feelings and don’t deny your own truth. You know what is true.

ADDITIONAL MEANINGS:
This person is not trustworthy
Something is not being disclosed to you
Listen to what others are saying
See from another’s perspective
Watch how others reaction
Live in the moment
Do not rush any decisions

CRYSTALS: aquamarine, celestite, iolite, pietersite, and blue tiger eye

I was on the horns of a dilemma and it is painful to your Ass when you sit on the Horns even if they are small ones.  To decide I never needed any external help of affirmation but as the decision was pending for a long time and I was going thru mental trauma of going back and forth I decided to give this a try.
I broke the relation, association.
Let us see whether I was right or my decision support App above was right. Time will tell. I beiieve in one thing though and that is the intution, sixth sense or the gut feeling that we get in the bottom of stomach sometimes that tells us and an inner voice is wanting to SPEAK OUT.  I always let it speak out.

 


 

Intuitive Mandala Oracle Cards by Ashley Snow and Indie Goes Software. Now available for iPhone / iPadAndroid and Amazon!
Learn more about Ashley Snow at www.aemtintuitive.com, and visit the official Indie Goes Software site to download other inspiring apps!

Diamond is merely a Lump …

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”

— Author Unknown

I was reading an article

From Ashes To Ashes To Diamonds: A Way To Treasure The Dead . It is very interesting ! It talks about “From Ashes To Ashes To Diamonds: A Way To Treasure The Dead””

Most of the diamonds synthesized from cremated remains come out blue, due to trace amounts of boron in the body. These diamonds, made from the ashes of animals, were created through the same process used to make diamonds from human remains.

I once said to a mentee that you are a Raw Diamond and a good mentor can turn you into a Masterpiece.  I mentioned 3 different cuts Indian Cut vs Belgium Cut vs Russian Cut which is given to the Raw Diamond. 
  1. Where a stone is cut has no more relation to the quality of the cut. At least not in what is observable in the finished product. There definitely still is a difference in yield, but that is only of concern for the manufacturer.
  2. The difference in cut-quality depends upon the goals and the organisation of the manufacturer. The cutting might be anywhere in the world for that matter. Therefore, you can still find very nicely cut Russian-cuts, a growing percentage of high quality Indian-cuts and in bigger stones, still more than Gary thinks, mostly Belgian-cut stones.
  • Pre Glasnost Russians cut by the text book with little regard for yield. Russian was the best cut.
  • Belgium has very little cutting today – some is very good – most is pre prepared and sent to Asia for finishing.
  • A few years back all Indian and most Israel diamonds were sold thru Belgium as Belgian Cut – or the better cut stones as Russian Cut.
  • Today it does not matter much as there are terrible and beautiful diamonds cut everywhere. Buy the diamond and not the location – that is the best advice.

Same things almost apply to the Mentor who becomes the Sculptor for the Masterpiece or the Diamond cutter improving the 4C Qualities of the Diamonds and bringing out their inner FIRE and increasing the yield by cuts so that the Weight gives the desired price to the seller.

Sometimes, though it gives me the feeling that the Mentees are not finally CARBON so essential for making of a Diamond but are made of a brittle, fragile sandstone which can only be crushed to make sand and used in the plinth of a building and NOT Diamond. The death wish of the mentee, in such cases to be a masterpiece can only be fulfilled if the building architect designs and makes it the world’s best – otherwise it remains another mundane structure.

To me personally, Mentoring is both art and science.  There are thousands of approaches and there would be million mentors in the world each monopolising their own tricks of the trade and techniques and approaches.  I just focused on 11 of them and practiced them for 20 years.  It does not make me a diamond ! or even diamond material ready for the cuts.  The mentor leaves behind the legacy of mentees who when they do well – the mentor becomes PUREST FORM OF CARBON and may not require any polish – just the basic things they do to be the Blue Diamond preserved by some as their Dead.  That would be my last wish! 

88.8 numerologically may not be ok but ..

Then I read this article somewhere

I Quote

4 Reasons Why You Are Seeing 888 – The Meaning of 888

Are you suddenly seeing 888 everywhere? You were guided here to help prepare yourself for the next stage.

As humans, we are all supported by the Universal Creator and a benevolent spiritual team of guardian angels and spirit guides that steer us in our life purpose and help us remember who we truly are.

One of the ways the Universe communicates with us is through repetitive numbers. For example, seeing 888 everywhere is not just a coincidence, but a message that you need to decode.

This message is important for you to understand as it is a step in your spiritual advancement. Here are the four possible reasons why you are seeing 888 at this time in your life.

1st Meaning of 888: You Have Knowledge and Wisdom to Share

The meaning of 888 can relate to a completion of a spiritual learning. What was meant to be learned was learned.

You weren’t born knowing who you truly are or what you are meant to do in every moment of your life. But you found your way here and realized that every experience in your life – up to this point – was filled with a lesson that helped you learn more about who you truly are.

And from this, you gained wisdom. Wisdom is knowing when to use what you learned to make a situation in your life better.

Your wisdom becomes one of your most trusted sources for guidance and when you share your wisdom, it becomes a guiding post providing inspiration and direction for others as they experience similar situations along their life paths.

You gain a greater sense of purpose for living your own life as you help shape the future path for others as they find meaning from your experiences and wisdom. Your impact affects them personally as they embark upon their own life journey to positively influence others.

You remember that every person that crosses your path becomes better when you contribute your knowledge and wisdom – ultimately making this world a better place for all.

“The wisdom acquired with the passage of time is a useless gift unless you share it.” ― Esther Williams, American Athlete / Actress (1921 – 2013)

2nd Meaning of 888: You Receive Only What You Are Ready to Receive

The meaning of 888 can relate to something that you’ve seeded some time ago and it is finally ready for harvesting. And your return is more than what you planted! On another level, this harvest can also refer to mastering a new skill or some new spiritual learning. Once you truly understand that new knowledge, you’ll be ready to move on to the next level of your spiritual evolution.

As you advance, you understand that your life is a series of choices every day, and every choice you make is like planting or sowing a seed. A seed is anything you give, such as your time, money, resources or love. From the standpoint of “sowing and reaping,” your choices have consequences. So when you see 888, the Universe is letting you know that it’s time to reap whatever you have planted through your choices.

This means every word you spoke and every step you took led you in the direction of your life today. This includes what you read, what you watched and listened to, what you learned, who you spent your time with and what you invested in. All your past choices influenced who you’ve become so far and what you have, or will have soon.

It took patience and persistence. Things were challenging for a while, but you kept going, and now you’ll see what the Universe has waiting for you.

Whatever you’re going to reap – a personal dream, a professional goal, financial prosperity, a relationship resolution, or spiritual healing – seeing 888 is a clear sign that the ripe fruits of your labor are ready to get picked.

In matters of relationships of any kind, the most important part of sowing is your intention behind the giving, even a simple thought is a form of giving. Be sure you are genuinely being helpful, generous and truly happy to give so you can also reap generously and happily in return. Remember that life is like an echo and what you send out in the world, will come back to you. So whatever you think, say or do has a ripple effect, touching everyone and everything. When you look at your life today, what are you sending out that is coming back to you?

In this context, when you see 888, it basically means what you give is what you get. What you see in the world is a mirror of what you have given. So make sure to give the world the best that you have, and the best will come back to you.

“The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.” – Thomas Dreier, American Editor (1884 – 1976)

3rd Meaning of 888: You Have an Abundance Mindset That Attracts Opportunities to You

Seeing 888 can mean that you are shifting your perspective to focus on the goodness of what you have in your life and “what is working well” for you. In this sense, you are focusing on the positive things. As you focus on all the wonderful things that surround you, you’re clearing the path for more positive energy to flow into all areas of your life and creating a place for abundance.

When you have a true abundance mindset, opportunities find their way to you more easily, which can lead to achieving financial goals and other favorable end results. The Universe sends you situations that have the same energy of your vibration. Because it’s all energy, the Universe will rearrange itself to match your abundant mindset. Known as the law of attraction, it’s the energy you are focusing on and attracting to you. So when you trust and feel confidently positive about your choices, the Universe will bring you experiences that will match this feeling.

The important point is that you have freedom — the freedom to choose your thoughts and the way you react to situations. Although you can’t control events, you can control your attitude toward those events.

So whether you’re focused on managing financial or legal matters, thinking of a career change or becoming self-employed, or even improving your personal relationships, it’s up to you to have a positive mindset. This will attract more abundance into your life, because like attracts like!

When you see 888, remember this: No one can ever take away your freedom to choose your attitude. When you choose to have an abundance mindset, everything becomes a possibility. There are no limits to what you can have and who you can become.

When you imagine a world based on giving rather than taking, you can see a whole new world with many possibilities. The Universe is abundant and there is more than enough of everything to go around for everyone.

4th Meaning of 888: You Are in The Flow of True Abundance

It is commonly known that the number pattern 888 symbolizes financial abundance and material wealth. Whenever you see 888, the Universe has noticed the efforts you put into your work or professional projects and it’s ready to issue a paycheck, so to speak. In that respect, seeing 888 signifies that some of your projects have come to an end and you are ready to harvest what you’ve seeded which translates into financial reward.

However, being in the flow of abundance isn’t always about having lots of money. Having financial abundance but being a slave to it in some way is not living in true abundance. When you live in true abundance, you remember that you came from the Universal Source. This means you are an individualized expression of the Creator. Like a ray of sunshine, you are an expression of the golden sun and you radiate from it. From this perspective, you’re radiating light into this world by sharing, giving and serving. In the big picture, you see that there is no lack because you originally came from the Universal Source of love and abundance.

A good measurement of your level of abundance is the amount of peace you feel within. The more aligned you are with the flow of the Universe, the more you will allow the divine to effortlessly flow through you in order to feel calmness and harmony at the core of your being.

What Should You Do Next When You See 888?

Life is living in the details. Being grateful for the little things means you recognize that everything is a miracle, even the air you breathe each day. According to John Hopkins Medicine, you take about 17,000 breaths a day, so that’s 17,000 opportunities to be thankful!

When you vibrate in gratitude for the small miracles, your energy for gratitude will radiate significantly more when big miracles happen. So the more thankful you are, the more you’ll attract positive abundance in all parts of your life. As a tip, gratitude also shortens the time to receive abundance. Similar to heating water, when you increase the temperature, the speed of boiling is faster. So add the warmth of thankfulness to everything in your life!

The truth is that the material things of this world won’t last forever, so recognize the things that DO last forever, and build your life around them. You are the artist in your life so be intentional in the life you want to create.

Abundance is present everywhere and it’s waiting for you to realize it. When you are aware of it, you can receive it, be grateful for it, and ultimately be in its flow. It is your birthright. No one is more or less worthy of abundance. You just need to accept it. And when you are grateful to receiving it, you experience even more abundance.

In the end, seeing 888 is a message of being in the flow of divine abundance. As you internally release all that doesn’t serve you, your outer world aligns with peace, harmony and abundance. In this higher state of being, you can create everything you can imagine for the highest good of all.

Go forth and build!” End Quote

WOW! 88.8 ! No its not Poker Win but it is a Win all the same. May make me a Diet Mentor now.

So Congratulations to me.  The credit for this goes to my loving wife and family and my Doctors who did not let me waver like true mentors for one moment from my goal. They set three big strategic targets for me after my 2 heart attacks

  1. Get to 68Kg – your weight when you married 38 years ago and present a Jay as he was to your wife.  Motivating but tough.
  2. Second Get to Under 90 Kg before May 2018 and maintain the weight.
  3. Come to 80 Kilos by 31st July and you will have nearly Reversed your Heart disease by strict medical management, Walking as the only exercise other than some breating Yoga exercises and Extremely strict Dietary conrols and managemnt.

 

I like to MEASURE.  Without measuring nothing is achieved.  I used different Apps for Walking measurement, Steps measurement, Weight measurement, BP measurement, Sugar measurement

Without Documentation of what you do, you can not prove as people are interested to have an EMPIRICAL (sic !) EVIDENCE that what you claim is true..  So I maintained a journal in which i record all the above and my Insulin dosage plus I also record EPISODES such as the number of times I fell down, Number of times I ate out, No. of days on travel, No. of issues – fractured hand, Arthritis, Frozen shoulder, Extreme sweating etc as told to maintain by my Great Doctors who are now friends.  Without their help it was not possible.

Look at these pics – Before and After. This was ME in August 2007 when TNT CEO visited India and I had just returned from Tirupati after a headshave and a Darshan. I weighed a good 135 Kilos then and was ready for a Heart Attack.  I had stopped all forms of Alcohol in 2006 beginning and stopped Non-vegetarian food much before that by I was still eating lots of namkins and salted, fried peanuts and was smoking to glory as a chainsmoker.

dp Aut 2008As Diabetes was detected in 2006, I was put on Tablets and No Sugar, Minimal Salt food and I had reduced my food intake by about 20% overall without of course stopping the peanuts and snacks which put my blood sugar out of control and the Doctor to comment – other than your Kidneys everything seems wrong and you are waiting for a silent heart attack soon.  I changed the doctor though, as he was mostly abroad and was not guiding me correctly and I was left to the mercy of his wire thin dietician who had run out of ideas about giving me recipe’s as none of her 20 recipe’s worked.
dp july 2007 Weight drop after diabetes was not very significant but I managed to get the photographer to get this shot so I look thinner in the picture atleast with a french beard or a ‘goatee”.  🙂 I still weighed 132 Kilos in July 2008

The below picture is when I was honoured as an Honorary Professor of SIBM Pune, Bangalore by the Chairman of Symbiosis Dr. Muzumdar.  I was donating all the honorarium earned adding something from my own for their library.  Did so from 2000 to 2014.

June 2010 and I still weighed 135 Kilos as you can see from the pic below. DP June 2010

The picture below is 6 months after my 2 quick silent heart attacks of which one was noticed in Feb 14 by Symbiosis students and I was admitted to Narayana Hrudayalaya of the world famous Dr. Devi Shetty.  My Weight 108 Kg. August 2014.  When admitted the famed doctor said it is a case requiring triple bypass but your heart pumps at 15% and it is not feasible to operate. They did PET Scan and other tests and put me in ICCU for 8 days which were very boring with hospital diet food and smells and nauseating atmosphere . Two great things happened. 1. I stopped snoring 2. I stopped smoking thereafter. cropped-dp-barcode-with-tagline.jpeg

Dr. Shetty also advised me to meet the HOD of Endocrinology and now my friend Dr. Satish Kumar for putting me on Insulin, his medication and diet controls.

I was very reluctant to take insulin. Wanted to hire a nurse or go to a hospital to get injected as I would relate it to 14 injections in the stomach thing which was a fear I had about the dog bite.  Although I had a pet dog in my childhood called Tomy but I was very afraid of injections in the stomach.  But I changed my fears and went on with treatment.

Next came diet. After 2 – 4 changes of dieticians opinions Dr. Satish asked me to cut food intake to a total of 20% of what I was eating before the Episodes and my wife would listen to his advice intently and make me accept and adapt to this extremely strictly.  She maintained my food timings, quantity and watched for my excesses I would indulge on my walks etc. and added couple of juices = White gourd and fresh Grass juice to my morning breakfast.  Daughter pitched in with her client’s Sericha Tea with lunch and dinner and another daughter suggested Figs to reduce cholestrol with breakfast.

All in all I was in good hands = well disciplined, well monitored and controlled.

Weight 135 Kg.jayparkhe2028729 copy 2Dec2011

My only task was to Walk. I had started short walks post retirement in the morning and evening.  Dr. Satish motivated me to increase it periodically.  So from 2.5Km a day I have come to average 12.5 Km per day this year.  In April I crossed 10000Km on the Nike Apps meant for runners but I measured my Km walked.

All of this worked.  Then this year I realised I sleep a lot in the day time some times 2 to 6 hours as sisesta.  My weight touched on April 9 2018 98 Kilos and I was told to stop sleeping in the noon and instead walk for about 2 Km in the Sun.  It started showing results.

Post my birthday, I fitted into Readymade Slim fit Jeans after many many years and you can see the delight on my face. But I still had to go to the next target level. dp april 9 I weighe today and my Cuttent Weight 88,8kg.  For past 15 days it has been in the range of 89 to 90 kilos.  I think I am going to achieve the 80 kilo target by the due date doing what I am doing. It is working. 

So personally, it is a bigger victory than a Poker victory as even if you win 10 Million or 1- billion you can spend it all but you can not reverse the heart disease and earn more years to live with your family and friends.  My personal gratitude to all who helped.

To end, I had a brief Mentoring intervention of 60 days with a mentee and I once shared a joke with her to say ” Jaane Kiski mentoring karta firta hai,  iska wazan 5 Kilo ghat gaya hai” – it was a rigorous mentoring assignment and what this meant is “Don’t know who he mentors or what he does but his weight has gone down by 5 Kilos” So perhaps she also deserves kudos for being with me in that crucial period of losing weight and helping me achieve my target.

So next is 80.0 Kilos by 31st July. 🙂

 

Dedicated to Mentees who quit or Cracked!

I wrote an article some time ago, about the 11 mentoring approaches I used and then found that there are many many more Mentoring approaches I do not know about. I was especially inspired by this video I found on YouTube that talks about 5 1/2 Mentors which this Basketball player found in his lifetime which are so precious and way better than my 11 approached.

I dedicate this article and urge especially the Mentees whom I dropped, who quit, or who Cracked under the KickAss Mentor’s pressures and Strict Coach Talk/ writings. They may still have a chance to move up in life as all is not lost. I loved this video. Sharing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quhcyPpCaSk

I read somewhere that Mentors appear when the Pupils are ready but as a Skeptic I believe that Mentors come for :

a. A Reason

b. A Season or

c. For Life as a life coach.

I know the amount of pressure, I exert on mentees is so unbearable that The Reason sometimes changes to Treason 🙂 and mentees begin Reverse Mentoring – as they believe Jay is such an inferior guy – we can coach and mentor him better !

The Season may last for a Quarter, Half year or 4-5 years and then as the Mentees learn to find mentors for their Augmented needs and Augmented wants of their businesses, their personal motivations – Jay Parkhe takes a back seat willing. That’s when the SEASONING and ripening of the Mentees begin. jay calls it WEAN to WIN approach.

Some Mentees keep in touch as they believe they have formed a bond which is life long and they keep in touch at their will and for them it is ATM – Any time mentoring where the phonelines, emails, whatsApp or SMS never shut. They reach you on Social media complimenting, commenting, sharing, agreeing, disagreeing, congratulating and sharing sad moments together.

Mentoring does all of this. It can display in a simple limp handshake with a sweaty but cold palm that the person is Selfish, will turn ungrateful, ingrate but the good mentors persist as they believe in the power to reform. No one can change and adult. Only adults can transform themselves and change. As you can see in this video as well. Jay has met several Ex-Cons who came for advice, Reformed, became part of this world by giving up all their bad deeds, negative influences, negative people surrounding them by building a strong fort in their minds to counter them and Jay takes pride in helping them build and reinforce every strong wall, trench and tunnel and their Big Guns!

Such is the pleasure of Mentoring. Enjoy the video. I found it very inspiring.

JayParkhe’s Mentor MasterClass takes off on meetup dot com. Welcome to 28 First Day Joinees.

https://www.meetup.com/Mentor-Masterclasses-by-Jay-Parkhe-f…
Join us even if you are not in Bengaluru. We propose to have Webinars for outstation joinees and of course the One on One calls are for both.

Mentor Masterclasses by Jay Parkhe for Startpreneurs, SMEs (Bangalore, India)
My new Meetup just launched! Join Professional Mentor for Startpreneurs and C Level aspirantsDear Mentor MasterClassMates,I welcome you to this Meet up. I…
MEETUP.COM

Interesting Quote, Pseudo-variants and Provoking Phrases of the day

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don’t matter,

and those who matter don’t mind.”

— Bernard M. Baruch

Recently I read a variant / pseudo version of the above phrase and I was thinking – LOL ! 🙂

  • Poke Fun At
    Meaning: 
    Making fun of something or someone; ridicule.

    When you lose your originality, you search the web.  When your borrowed phrases exhaust and your plagiarism is exposed, one chooses to get back at people by twisting, twirling, modifying, stretching, shortening Quotes to misuse, abuse and put to disuse in order to Poke Fun At people who reveal your Truth but hold back due to professional secrecy. 

  • Elephant in the Room
    Meaning: 
    Ignoring a large, obvious problem or failing to address an issue that stands out in a major way.

    People who skirt, deflect and avoid issues while taking stances which are aggressive, abrasive and false pretenses but when they are exposed, their falsehood is open they still do not have the courage to see the Elephant in the room and behave like blind, deaf, mute people showing off their ‘Handicap'(as in Golf) to save the Facepalm moments. 

  • Beating Around the Bush
  • Meaning: 
  • Someone who is beating around the bush is someone who avoids the main point.
  • This is Self-Explnatory.

The people I am talking about have three distinct qualities.

First, they are willing to disagree ferociously, but talk civilly, (writing blasphemously with full blown profanity when challenged) about nearly every meaningful subject: religion, abortion, immigration, the nature of consciousness.

Second, in an age in which popular feelings about the way things ought to be often override facts about the way things actually are, each is determined to resist parroting what’s politically convenient using memory of convenience, logic of convenience and in the end wanting to make you see their TRUTH as your truth. Some of them are Pseudo-intellectuals and at last count someone said there are 150 of them in Delhi alone who are peddling some media house plan asking for Rs.5 Crores and finally willing to settle for as little as Rs. 5000 !

And third, some have paid for this commitment by being purged from institutions that have become increasingly hostile to unorthodox thought — and have found receptive audiences elsewhere – which includes Commies, pseudo-Marxists, pseudo Nihilists, Maoists and Wayfarers who wish to overthrow the government by hook or crook – they are seditionists who indoctrinate people into being brainwashed under the influence of Drugs and fake Love.

And Some Random Phrases are so Relevant…

  1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place
    Meaning: 
    Being faced with two difficult choices.

    Like to be or not to be.  Or to do or not to do. This or that or that or this?  The mind becomes so fickle that we just sit on the horns of the dilemma and think there are more than two options still open to us and we are unable to make up our mind is still wandering and undulating between the baggage and Bagasse’ (sugarcane remains after we suck out the juice) of the PAST and thinking we are so FUTURISTIC and What great Dreams we have that what I have right now is the FOCUS ! How wrong we are !

  2. In the Red
    Meaning: 
    Losing money. Being in debt

    it is a very bad situation to be in. I was there too. Nearly bankrupt and I decided that I shall pay off every one by selling everything I have.  The trick was to Take a Loan after selling every thing and paying off small creditors in full and negotiating with large debtors payment terms – delayed dates etc.  Having One large bank or banker always helps.  Being an ex banker I know how bankers dread Bad Debts and NPAs.  They would go out of their way to help and assist – not all, but some.  Those some actually become our Rescuers. I tried to live a life debt free and God has been kind – he gives me enough to sustain and I demand no more.

  3. Right Out of the Gate
    Meaning: 
    Right from the beginning; to do something from the start.

    Startpreneurs must learn this lesson about Right out of the gate.  And that one lesson is if the plinth of your business is laid on the dishonesty, poor value system and no Conscience – you will not last long. That first stone in the plinth of your business will be your epitaph and knowing what you are doing Jay Parkhe may stop mentoring you ASAP ! . I do believe that start ups , SMEs have to break rules sometimes. They have to keep their principles aside and in Indian conditions have to bribe officials, purchase managers in large corporates sometimes but allowed to go on for long periods this can also severely hurt their future business prospects.

Inappropriate, Fell short. Random input phrases to Provoke Thoughts

  1. Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees
    Meaning: 
    Suggests that money is a resource that must be earned and is not one that’s easily acquired.

    Expecting Acts of Kindness? Expecting delivery on a platter without doing any Efforts?  Well. Learn to create many many sources of generating passive income. Some may actually work and then the saying can come true. 

  2. Hit Below The Belt
    Meaning: 
    A boxing term. Also often used to refer to inappropriate words, or comments that are too personal.

    Risk and Crisis Management.

  3. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: 
    Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end.

    It is OK. It is still a development gap. We lack FINISHIATIVE in the Race that we run and prepare to run again. Not all are able to FINISH the tasks on time all the time. So don’t get disheartened. Wake up . Prepare, Rise and begin again !

I call it Completion Gene or FINISHIATIVE – for Startpreneurs !

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

“It doesn’t matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, ‘I have finished.’ There is a lot of satisfaction in that.”

— Fred Lebow

What is FINISHIATIVE. WHY DID JAY PARKHE COIN THIS TERM?

Do you remember the old saying? Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. When it comes to starting your own startpreneurship business, this saying really hits the nail right on the head.

Business is only going to come to life if we do the things you need to do to bring it to fruition. If we continue to put off the things w need to do to get our business started until tomorrow–we’re too busy at work, or our children need us to pick them up at the mall, your wife wants you to watch a popular new TV show–then when will you ever get around to doing them?

Being a successful Startpreneur takes more than thinking about it, talking about it, or dreaming about it. It takes more than telling your friends that you would like to start your own business one day. It takes more than reading a copy of magazine It takes more than reading this blog.

Startpreneur requires  action–we have to set goals, establish tasks, and then complete them. It’s not the size of the goals or the tasks that counts, it’s the doing that is everything.

Home-based business experts Paul and Sarah Edwards, say that the number-one ingredient for success in starting and growing a home-based business is something all of us have in varying quantities: the Completion Gene.

The Completion Gene is the habit based on psychological need to follow through on what you start and see it to the end–whether it be preparing a proposal, doing a project for a client, or seeing a business through its up and down cycles.

In short, the Completion Gene is what separates successful small business owners from the wannabes, and it’s the thing that can have the biggest impact on your success as an entrepreneur.

So, what are the key components of the Completion Gene? There are two:

Short term: Getting things done. This is waking up every day and taking steps towards achieving your goals. Some day, it may mean buying business cards for your new business, or applying for a business license or hiring a lawyer to help you incorporate your business. Or it may mean researching your idea on the Internet or calling prospective clients to find out who might be interested in buying the products or services that you intend to offer for sale. You cannot build a business without taking these short-term, but important, steps.
Long term: Persistence. The idea of a business overnight success is as uncommon as the proverbial 99 Rupee Note. In reality, the latest craze or hot item is most often the result of years of hard work and perseverance. #

You might have the greatest idea since sliced bread but, if you aren’t willing or able to hang in with it for the long haul, then you’ll potentially miss enjoying the gold at the end of your rainbow.
You may not think you were born with the Completion Gene but, believe me, it’s there deep inside you.

The Completion Gene is built into each one of us–it’s standard equipment from the factory. If you haven’t seen your Completion Gene lately, you might need to dust it off before you’ll have an opportunity to give it a workout. The more you exercise it, the stronger it will get. And the stronger it gets, the closer you will be to living your dreams instead of just dreaming them.

5 Minute Mentor Mentee Interview.

Whether you are a Mentor or you wish to be a C Suite Mentee The following can provide you a quick way to break the ice in an early mentoring meeting (with thanks to the Independent newspaper).
The answers don’t have to be written down – this is to create conversation. Fundamental to this interview are two main Communication Pillars which make the Mentee understand that :
1. The Mentor will Reveal himself Transparently. Reciprocity is expected/ appreciated. Confidentiality is maintained.
2. The Mentor ‘Provokes’ ! Be Ready for this, Challenge is good, Provocation leads to bringing out the Best in you !

Both mentee and mentor can answer these questions:
• If you weren’t talking to me right now you’d be …
• The catch- phrase/s you use far too often is …
• I wish people would take more notice of …
• The most surprising thing that happened to me was …
• A common misconception (idea) of mine is …
• I am not a politician, but …
• I am good at…
• I am not very good at…
• The best day / night out is …
• The best age to be is …
• In a nutshell, my philosophy is …
• I light up when…
• If I could learn any language I would learn..

via (8) #37 – 5 Minute Mentor.Mentee Interview – C Suite Mentoring. | LinkedIn

Story Telling – The Story for Stan F. Smith (?)

I am not sure, if Stan F. Smith was his correct name. I met the gentleman in 7th Floor Free Ward of Jaslok Hospital in year 1979.  No. He did not present a pleasant sight. His half the Skull had stitches in his bald head and he had been operated for Fileria ( Haathi Panv) but still had one leg hugely swollen and he had difficulty walking with his walking stick.

But one night, he came to my hospital bed and when I was looking for a Bed pan and could not wake up the nurses by ringing the bell – he gave me one.  I could not sleep all 8 nights I was operated but I instantly liked the gentleman.  We decided to become friends.  I learnt that the nurses do not answer to the bells in the night.  Stan would personally go to the patients in need of water, bed pans, urine pots or wake up the junior doctors if someone looked serious or showing symptoms of heart attack or panic.

As we both could not sleep, we began taking rounds of the other wards. I had a knee surgery but I was able to walk. Stan had to take some effort but he was game for it.  We managed to make friends with JUDOs the Junior Doctors and began having jokes with them. We would do numerology and I was good at palmistry then and would predict love affairs, marriage, private practice etc. what the JUDOs liked to listen and have fun at.

One day I asked Stan what he used to do for a living as he was a patient here for over an year. He said he was a marketing consultant living in Malad a Mumbai suburb.  I asked him what does it mean.  I was working in a village bank branch and had just become a field officer with Madras Fertilizers after one year of apprenticeship.  I was trying to do a British Institute Marketing Management correspondence course.  So Stan explained. He said In Mumbai which is country’s biggest retail market – you can sell anything.  Anything ! he reinforced and said – Including plain DIRT !

I was astounded.  I said how?  He said we are in Pedder Road and you can see all the high rise buildings with their luxury apartments around.  He said many of them are people who came as paupers from villages and made it rich – Mumbai was Indian Poor man’s American Dream even in those days !

He said, you live in a village and must have observed when people come back from toilets they rub their hands in dirt before washing them.  Reason: Toilet soaps are not very common in villages. I said yes. True.  He said,  People may have become multi-millionaires and may live in these skyscrapers – some of their habits are age old.  If you filter dirt, soil of different colours and make small 50 gramme packets and say Toilet Mitti (Soil) – it will sell.  He said you can bring in variants, of colours, quantity, packaging and even claim this comes form UP, RAJASTHAN, BIHAR, MP etc. etc. and people would flock to buy it.

People in Mumbai like to buy on footpaths as they are very busy people catching buses, train, taxis all the time.  The rich move near seashores and gardens.  He said Have a large umbrella and put up a stall near these places and begin selling.  He had my attention, Focus, his STATE had my empathy and I was flabbegasted by his FREE Advice to a youngster.

Over the years, we lost touch and 39 years later I am not sure, if I shall ever see Stan but I know one thing he was one hell of a marketeer who UNDERSTOOD People, Their NEEDS, Their purchasing power, Indian Psyche, The Places where they frequent, The places where they will buy.  He also advised on packaging and marketing and promotion and he said – word of mouth is the best publicity.   Rich people like to bargain the most – allow them to and let them have the last laugh and he would say you would still be reaping profits.

9 years later, I became a student of Marketing Management in Pune and I remembered my friend Stan and narrated this story to one of my Marketing Gurus and he said WOW ! I want to meet this man.  But Alas, i had no clue where he was.

Marketing as i learnt is all about Psyche’ / knowing the customer needs, buying behaviour, pattern, purchasing power and then pitching with your product/ service with different creative innovative techniques.

Below is a link I liked about Story telling from TedX shows that I like to watch from YouTube.

let me know which Hormone was activated after reading this story in you?  I am usually good at story telling as they are real life experiences but this time I am following the Art and Science of Story telling  following an expert.  May be, one day I shall appear on YouTube with my stories or well may be, become a Storyteller Paid Speaker.  🙂

 

Story Telling is an Art and Science

4C – Mentoring Technique & Diamonds in the Sky and Darkening of light

As a mentor I sometimes use 4C technique of mentoring. It’s origins are in the 4 C qualities of the purest diamonds. which are known as Color Clarity, cut and Carat Weight and as Mentor I made some notes to self below:

  • Respect your belief that we are all One Man Company first.
  • We are all in our own right, Small budding brands.
  • We have a place in the Sun.
  • We have a place in the skies!
  • Which part of sky belongs to me?
  • Which set of Starry diamonds my brand resembles?
  • Am I going to be the brightest and shiniest one?
  • Or a small simple Solitaire – invaluable Brand?
  • Sometimes though we see a DARKENING OF THE LIGHT around us even in the Bright Sun!
  • This masks all our shine, brightness and all the Dimond like qualities in us.
  • We all have our stars and we are all Celebrities in our own minds and hearts and the Glow and the halo spreading from our idols/ icons sometimes overshadows our own 4 C’s.
  • The more we allow this to happen to us we become Ex-celebrities in our own mind.  Sometimes, Gods and circumstances are against us.
  • We lose our celebrity status, the paradigms shift, the clocks are reset, the Computers and our life is pushed by a Reset button and to Comeback is the toughest challenge we face.
  • I designed my 4 C – Comeback Celebrity’s Crazy Coach program for some of such great souls who were in the sky, searching for their space in the darkening of the light.
  • There is a saying that when light goes down, it may be wise to become invisible.
  • The image is of fresh darkness, the period is just after sunset or a fire has gone out.
  • There is still much activity left over from the light of day, and movements in the outer world are at their most dangerous. 
  • Even the smallest sound, the faintest glow of light, can attract unwanted attention.
  • It is said that when the darkness of stupidity reigns in our human affairs, it is best that we keep your brilliance “hidden under a bushel basket!”
  • Let your thoughts and efforts therefore be quiet, self-contained, and protected, as much as possible, from harmful influences, negative people, unwanted interruptions of Technology which forces us to Read and Write SMS, WhatsApp, eMails etc. and forces us not to listen and makes us speechless – or DUMB !
  • Don’t let yourself be swept along on the current of conventional wisdom when dangerous uncertainties exist.
  • Try not to become too depressed or anxious; such periods will also pass.
  • Just endure it for now and inwardly preserve your self-confidence, while outwardly remaining cooperative and flexible.
  • The time to assert yourself will come.
  • Avoid looking too far ahead if you have not yet achieved your goals – that will only bring regret and longing, which can eat away at your inner strength.
  • So, be cautious and reserved.
  • Control yourself.
  • Do not needlessly stimulate forces of opposition.
  • During dark, unsettled periods, it is best to step gingerly around sleeping dogs.

The climax of the dark ties has arrived, and the darkness has begun to consume even itself. When negative energy is finally spent, people of intelligence and good spirit naturally re-emerge, and gain positions of rightful prominence.

So How does the future look like?

Just Visualize -GRACE AND BEAUTY

Diamonds in the Sky are so Graceful. Diamonds in the Real Life are so precious and Beautiful.

  • Imagine that there is a splashy sunset that bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river.
  • Grace and beauty adorn the natural world.
  • Grace is neither an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing.
  • By itself, it is form without content.
  • Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon.
  • Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.
  • Grace brings success in small matters.
  • In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the choreography of the dance; the musician giving life to a musical score; the painter becoming one with brush and canvas.
  • In human affairs, grace is aligned with mastery of aesthetic and cultural forms honed by time and honored by tradition.
  • When we appreciate graceful forms in human culture, we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the struggle for survival.
  • The Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions.
  • Do Take care to lend grace and dignity to small matters, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence.

Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.

Almost, Blasphemous, Almost Profanity Phrases of the Day!:)

  1. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts
    Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses.
  2. Foaming At The Mouth
    Meaning: To be enraged and show it.
  3. Cry Wolf
    Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.
  4. Man of Few Words
    Meaning: A person who does not speak a great deal; someone who talks with as few words as possible.
  5. Ring Any Bells?
    Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.
  6. Break The Ice
    Meaning: Breaking down a social stiffness.
  7. Go Out On a Limb
    Meaning: Putting yourself in a risky situation in order to help someone; or to hazard a guess.

Via BrainPickings Newsletter: Theodore Roosevelt on the Cowardice of Cynicism and the Courage to Create Rather Than Criticize

I like this newsletter.  How many of us have met people who take refuge, subterfuge (deceit) of projecting they know everything as Omniscients and Demi-Gods! And their masks of Omnipotence wear out thin as the exposure hurts like Exfoliation of the soft skin exposed to the Tropical Sun. It burns like hell.

“There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic,” Maya Angelou wrote in contemplating courage in the face of evil, “because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.”

How to prevent that cultural tragedy, which poisons the heart of a just and democratic society, is what Theodore Roosevelt (October 27, 1858–January 6, 1919) examined when he took the podium at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23 of 1910 to deliver one of the most powerful, rousing, and timelessly insightful speeches ever given, originally titled “Citizenship in a Republic” and later included under the title “Duties of the Citizen” in the 1920 volume Roosevelt’s Writings (public library).

Theodore Roosevelt

A century before Caitlin Moran cautioned that “cynicism scours through a culture like bleach, wiping out millions of small, seedling ideas,” Roosevelt admonishes against “that queer and cheap temptation” to be cynical, and writes:

The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. There are many men who feel a kind of twister pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities — all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. They mark the men unfit to bear their part painfully in the stern strife of living, who seek, in the affection of contempt for the achievements of others, to hide from others and from themselves in their own weakness. The rôle is easy; there is none easier, save only the rôle of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance.

One of the tendencies I find most troubling in contemporary culture is that of mistaking cynicism for critical thinking. This confusion seeds a pernicious strain of unconstructive and lazily destructive opprobrium. Amid this epidemic of self-appointed critics, it becomes harder and harder to remember just how right Bertrand Russell was when he asserted nearly a century ago that “construction and destruction alike satisfy the will to power, but construction is more difficult as a rule, and therefore gives more satisfaction to the person who can achieve it.”

With an eye to those lazy critics — the dead weight of society — Roosevelt offers:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat… The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic, or fop, or voluptuary. There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm, of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder.

The entire twenty-seven-page speech, found in Roosevelt’s Writings and on par with JFK’s superb speech on the artist’s role in society, is a masterpiece of thought and feeling, replete with insight into what it means to be a good citizen, a good leader, and a complete human being. Complement this particular fragment with Leonard Bernstein on the countercultural courage of resisting cynicism, Goethe on the only criticism worth voicing, and philosopher Daniel Dennett on how to criticize with kindness, then revisit Eleanor Roosevelt on how uncynical personal conviction powers social change.

E.S.T.M. a sub-approach Of Jay Parkhe’s 11 Mentoring approaches Part 2

In this sub-Approach spread over two sessions Jay Parkhe takes the mentee through two other techniques using terms from totally different subject, speciality, Music, Poetry.

In 1st Part we discussed,

universal emotions, what they look like, and why we’re biologically hardwired to express them this way:
Anger. …
Fear. …
Disgust. …
Happiness. …
Sadness. …
Surprise. …
Contempt.

In this part, we discuss with the Mentee:

ragas

Hindustani Classical Music: Different Kinds of Ragas

Rāga (Sanskrit: राग), comes from a Sanskrit word for “the act of colouring or dyeing”, or simply a “colour, hue, tint, dye”. The term also connotes an emotional state referring to a “feeling, affection, desire, interest, joy or delight”, particularly related to passion, love, or sympathy for a subject or something.  In the context of ancient Indian music, the term refers to a harmonious note, melody, formula, building block of music available to a musician to construct a state of experience in the audience.

From a Mentor’s perspective these are important when I am using the ESTM sub technique as it is enriched by these emotions and testing their stability in the Mentee.

  1. Feeling 2. Affection 3. Desire, 4. Interest 5. Joy 6. Delight  Relating to

A. Passion – I call it Pass-I-On or Pass-It-On.

B. Love

C. Sympathy / Empathy

In ancient Indian Music Raga refers to

i. Harmonious Notesworld of Ragas.jpg

ii. Melody

iii. Formula

iv. Building block of music

to construct a state of Experience for the audience.

emot stab

I do not test each of them but once I have gathered and understood the Mentee’s interest, Passion, aptitude for one or more of the above I test them on the Musical level which is creating Harmony, Melody, Formula and Building Blocks of Success and their ability to do so.

This is not an easy exercise and the tough parts are : Feeling, Affection, Passion and Love.  Some mentees mask their Delight, Joy, Sympathy, Empathy while the Real Pseudo Mentees who are out to play spoilsport and waste the mentors’ and their own time and efforts get exposed and usually quit or asked to quit by the mentor.

Music is a very powerful communication medium and it helps us find balance and calm, peace within us. Music begins to live on us and in the same way, Jay tests his mentees on what really ‘LIves on them, what makes them tick or untick or cool off” .  This is a difficult exercise and Jay carefully chooses his mentees and whom to put to this test without announcing.

The third and final sub-set of this technique of S.T.E.M. is not from Music but another art form – Acting and it is called Rasa. It is said that Bharata Muni enunciated the eight Rasas in the Nātyasāstra, an ancient Sanskrit text of dramatic theory and other performance arts, written between 200 BC and 200 AD.

  1. In the Indian performing arts, a rasa is a sentiment or emotion evoked in each member of the audience by the art. The Natya (Acting) Shastra mentions six rasa in one section, but in the dedicated section on rasa it states and discusses eight primary rasa.

    1Raudram rasa of the destructive fury of goddess Durga in Bharatanatyam

  2. Related to love, eros (Śṛngāra, शृङ्गार)

  3. Humorous, comic (Hāsya, हास्य)

  4. Pathetic, disgust (Bībhatsa, बीभत्स)

  5. Fury, anger (Raudra, रौद्र)

  6. Compassion, sympathy (Kāruṇya, कारुण्य)

  7. Heroic (Vīra, वीर)

  8. Terrible, horrifying (Bhayānaka, भयानक)

  9. Marvellous, amazing (Adbhuta, अद्भुत)

As an Accomplished mentor Jay Parkhe Tests the ABLE Mentees thru this E.S.T.M. Test and try out 2 o 3 of these parallels as Emotional stability tests.  No mentee is ever ready to pass thru all 9 neiher is any mentor capable of conducting all without a sense of emotion, sadness at putting the mentee thru a grueling test,  Scolding, presurising, autocratically, dominating which sometimes cracks the Best of mentees too.

As I have said before, these are not tests of Go, No Go nature -although they give a deep insight into the minds of the mentees and helps the mentor to specifically focus on the important ones.

Interesting Ugly Phrases from generator today :)

  1. Eat My Hat
    Meaning: Having confidence in a specific outcome; being almost sure about something.
  2. Talk the Talk
    Meaning: 
    Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence.
  3. If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen
    Meaning: 
    One should discontinue with a task if they are unable to cope with it due to pressure.

GOOD, Bad and ugly phrases of the day

  1. Fish Out Of WaterMeaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.
  2. Wild Goose ChaseMeaning: Futilely pursuing something that will never be attainable.
  3. Cut The MustardMeaning: To cut the mustard is to meet a required standard, or to meet expectations.
  4. Long In The ToothMeaning: Old in age. Mainly used when referring to people or horses.
  5. A Dime a DozenMeaning: Something that is extremely common.
  6. Throw In the TowelMeaning: Giving up; to surrender.

Jay Parkhe’s C.A.L.M. Approach to Mentoring and Greased Lightening

One of the Sub-Approaches within his Professional Mentoring Practice Jay Parkhe uses is named by him as CALM – Concentrated, Accelerated, Learning Methods.  There is nothing calm about it.  And the usual Perceptive feedback/ Feedforward he received form his Direct reports 22 years ago and his latest Mentees is no Different.  “Jay, you are too fast paced for us”.  Yes, Jay is a man in a hurry and in the Give mode, he likes to share all that he have – no holds barred to every Coached / Mentee.  Let me take a phrase that comes to my mind. It is called Greased Lightning”  Its  Meaning is :  Simply “Very fast or quick.”and the Concentration has different Learning connotation – Acceleration comes from this word called Greased Lightning and that defines Jay’s style of mentoring.

Jay derives motivation from Serena Williams quote, “At my age, I see the finish line. And, when you see the finish line, you don’t slow down. You Speed up.”

The Concentrated Learning Method is rather simple.  I learnt it from a Volunteer lady who came to teach children some 12 years ago to a school TNT was funding called ‘Parikrma Foundation”.  What I learnt from her ( sorry, I forgot her name – my senior moments 🙂 ) but the learning was precious.

She said she is teaching Kindergarten school children 4 things:  ” READ, WRITE, LISTEN and SPEAK”.

I used this for Adult learning, coaching, mentoring as a Tool/ technique and it is a fiercely KickAss Mentor training, as it was my belief that Adults already are Learned people and they would soon understand.  Only I brought in the Technology perspective here and that changed the Mentee, coached or my Direct reports perceptions totally and invoked the “too fast paced”comment.  Let me explain. How does Reading, Writing, Listening, Speaking happen in a MNC Corporate environment?  What are the tools  and techniques and Technology at the command of Senior Executives and C-Level Executives. Tremendous. The back room IT solutions provider team makes more and more user friendly softwares and solutions to help the often IT illiterate C-Level Executive or the aspirant for those positions.  Being a FAST TRACK recruiter I found the MBAs, Freshers from B school more literate and able to adopt the technology that seniors.

So what does this Method entail.  I ask Coachee/ Mentees

Read : Reading habits, Reading times, Any habits of note taking, Best times of undisturbed reading, Type of reading – fiction/ non-fiction, poetry etc. Then I ask about reading SMS, WhatsApp, SnapChat, Facebook Posts, Linkedin Posts and Influencer articles, Kindle e-books etc. I also focus on their email reading habits – the average time spent, the total time taken to read and respond to mails and electronic message.  Millennials are faster, sharper, adopt technology well and use smartphone, ipads, tablets, laptops well.  Then I test them on their Reading skill with Best and worst readability short and long messages and mails. Sometimes flooding them with important and unimportant messages.

What I notice or observe just by observing is : Short or longer attention span, What they like to read and from whom.  The time of the day when they are most or least receptive and also gauge their response time and setting of priorities. Many Crack, Some give feedforward – They Win.  Some Keep quiet but stop responding – They lose.

Sometimes I also ask them to read aloud their emails just to see their own reactions to some of the words they use in their messages/ mails.  It is wonderful and makes people realise where they can get better and still better.  It helps.

Write:  I sometimes provoke and test them on their short and long hand messages.  Their precis writing skills, the use of jargons, the cliche’s and the slang, abbreviations, abusive words marked with S@#4 or F#$% etc. etc. – Feedforward again works when they are requested to Read aloud the SHORT and long messages and email to gauge the impact this will have on the receivers of the messages.  I also introduce here some of the latest technology, tools, browser extensions, abstract writers, phrase generators etc. and some CRM tools like RocketBolt, Boomerang, Mailtrack and Grammarly etc.  These help me to gauge their Diction, vocabulary and refine their language depending upon their stage to prepare for the C-Level positions.  For Entrepreneurs and business people it becomes tortuous but if they are chasing a big dream and ( I do not coach or mentor anyone who does not have a big dream any way)  wish to be a Corporate some day or a Unicorn = they know what they are lacking.  I sometime comfort them by saying that you recruit the best of Executive Assistant with a flair for official writing, business writing, Report writing, Pitch writing, Appraisal feedback writing etc.  All of this is usually taken well and people know their areas where they have to get better. 

Listen:  This works both ways. Sometimes, as Coach / Mentor I monopolise the talk time and make the coachee/ Mentee fret and fume for not getting a chance to speak.  I also tell them that interruptions are bad as they come in the way of a brainwave/ thought process of the speaker.  It irritates them like hell. I then begin to count their number of interruptions and point them to improve. Sometimes, I just go quiet and respond only in monosyllables or do not respond to many messages – but write one curt, short or long mail covering all important points from my perspective ignoring deliberately what is important from Mentee’s point of view.  This is to make them understand that the listener also need Accuracy, Brevity and clarity just as the written communicator needs. Long periods of quiet can hurt both ways and if the Coacheee/ mentee begins to go into quietude/ silence or starts cursing under the breath – these are tell-tale signs that the Coaching may not last longer as they have begun to crack.  Some mentees actually get very angry at these provocative, challenging but SILENT interventions and CRACK ! 

Speak: This one is the most interesting part.  Many people choose Mixed – Khichdi ( use of colloquial, ethnic terms) when the listener has no clue, no context, no perspective and they struggle to find meaning into what is being said.  Some feel most comfortable using local language phrases, idioms, cliche’s which they are not so adept at translating and expect the listener to be the know all.  Some take offence being asked to repeat as they mumble or speak their local language mumbo-jumbo which often sound Greek and Roman to listener.  Some speakers are so philosophical that they HAVE to quote the likes of Plato, Aristotle or bring in some Great Poet like Rumi into their conversations that the listener struggles with the meanings all the time. 

For the Slang users I tell them to search Google for Mentor Lyrics in the most explicit language and practice.  They give up after some time saying it is so GROSS ! 🙂

Some are fluent, some speak at 50 w p m and beat Stephen Hawkins while others beat the Ferrari’s and speak 160+ words per minute.  It takes an effort to discipline them and make them audience focused, audience centric and understand those for whom they are speaking.

In all, it is an enjoyable CALM learning technique.

Next I follow up only with the C-Level is : Tell, Sell, Inform, Consult, Advice or Ask – difference in the communication.

For project managers the RACI or RASCI are better  examples of communication and many a times it is the best technique to use with Startups too.

Interesting phrases.

  1. Jack of All Trades Master of NoneMeaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them.
  2. On Cloud NineMeaning: Having strong feelings of happiness or satisfaction. 
  3. Scot-freeMeaning: Getting away freely from custody, punishment, or any type of risky situation.
  4. Fish Out Of WaterMeaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.
  5. I Smell a RatMeaning: A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry.
  6. Drawing a BlankMeaning: Failing to recall a memory. Unable to remember something.

Phrases of the day.

  • Wouldn’t Harm a Fly 
  • Meaning: 
  • Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle.

 

Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Meaning: 
People tend to associate with others who share similar interests or values.

 

Fight Fire With Fire
Meaning: 
To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.

Sales Happen when Customer begins to say Yes!

In my sales coaching I would teach – Sales happen when Customer begins to say Yes. After First Yes – Keep saying things that will make him say Yes, Yes, Yes !  The best of purchase managers I train – I train them to say NO , NO . NO. NO – till their Tongues Bleed !  Jay Parkhe

 

“I imagine that yes is the only living thing.”

via Today’s Quote https://ift.tt/2lFUEOD

Have a Great day with this Random Input:)

  • Put a Sock In It

 

Meaning: 

 

Asking someone to be quiet or to shut up.

 

 

Hear, Hear

 

Meaning: 

 

A shout of agreement, or to draw attention to a speaker.

 

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

 

Meaning: 

 

Being faced with two difficult choices.

Thicken the Plot – Bring Potboiler to BOIL!

  1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place
    Meaning: 
    Being faced with two difficult choices.
  2. Jaws of Death
    Meaning: 
    Being in a dangerous or very deadly situation.
  3. On the Ropes
    Meaning: 
    Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless!
  4. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: 
    Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.
  5. Down To Earth
    Meaning: 
    Practical or humble; unpretentious.
  6. Dropping Like Flies
    Meaning: 
  7. To fall down ill or to die in large numbers.

What Am I, Chopped Liver?

Meaning: 

A rhetorical question used by a person who feels they are being given less consideration than someone else.

HAVE you felt Ignored, Have you been given a short shrift. Have your interests and your priorities overlooked by people who are supposed to oversee them.

 

Weekend: Random Inputs

  • Make an effort to get to know someone you don’t usually talk to
  • No matter how annoying they can be, tell your siblings how much you appreciate them 
  • Be someone’s shoulder to cry on
  • Share something interesting you’ve learned today

 

Random Input Generator

To brainstorm and bring to the Boil inside the potboiler I generate some Random Inputs like this one:

The memory we used to share is no longer coherent.

I generated some thoughts to go with this Input.

It is a past- A memory.

Treat it like a ‘Baggage’ you do not wish to carry forward all your life.

Leave it behind.

It must be painful to both.

You both do not wish to share anymore.

Think of that memory as being incoherent.

Forget it. It is not easy, I know, give it your best shot.

Am I taking a potshot at your situation?

NO!! far from it.

The day both of you feel it is incoherent – just bury the memory. Don’t bring it back like the HeadMaster DumbleDore 🙂 .

Enjoy life full. Life is to live well and must be enjoyed in full.

Let me know what you think about this and do you wish to read more Random Input Generated?

Here are some for your to think about?

  1. Remember that friend you haven’t seen for ages? Give them a call
  2. Apologise to someone you may have hurt
  3. Purchase ethical goods
  4. Have lunch with a homeless person
  5. Save your family some time and buy their groceries

The Plot Thickens

I am a WayFarer with feet firmly on the Ground. I wish to help people, I am a social entrepreneur advisor and a life coach. I love to write original quotes about life, disappointments, triumphs, relationships and everything in between.

I wanted to start a blog where the situation that has gotten way more serious or interesting due to recent complexities or developments and people need instant answers. I  motivate and impact people.

This blog is to Inspire, Influence and Impacts people Positively so they bring out their latent Strengths to the fore. Strengths come to light. Monetise them. Live Life Well. Inspire others. Life is wonderful.

I hope all blog readers can join me on this journey.

Feedforward by mentees “One Man Company and 11 in 1 Accomplished Mentor” – A compilation.

This article is also available on LInkedin

I sought a Feedforward from my Mentees, Friends, Peers, Ex-Bosses and Mentors about this article.

The responses have been most overwhelming, challenging and quite motivating.

1,Thank you AVM from Bengaluru for this fabulous feedforward:

Quote “Hello

First of all fantastic compilation of the areas which suits very well to what you are doing currently

Below are my rating

  1. Coach – 10 (Can be one of the best coaches for startups and even top companies, especially with the amount of knowledge you possess with the experiences which you have gone through in life is a great insight for a beginner)
  2. Connector – 10 (Always have seen your eagerness to help after we put across new proposal. The efforts you take to connect with the like minded people will really amaze me always. Kudos to that)

  3. Cheerleader(Exec, startup, Biz) – 10 (Always on A game with the business strategies)

  4. Educator – 10 (Beautiful educator especially the way you connect through your stories. I have had some amazing memories)

  5. Ideator – 10 (This always tops my list. The amount of new ideas you generate on the go after knowing the business is fascinating)

  6. Librarian – 9

  7. Superstart and Idol – 10 (Definetely a great idol and role model for startups)

  8. Challenger – 9 (Have seen instances vey often how to challenge team to get the action done after the strategy meeting)

  9. Teammate – 9 (I have not seen this scenario, so would not like to comment on this. I am sure you would be the best teammate)

  10. Brand – 9 (I liked Jay brand. Surely this goes well and i hope your knowledge reaches to many more lives and impact them immensely)

  11. Coach and Mentor – 10 (Put together all the earlier points)” End Quote.


  1. Thank you SS from Mumbai on WhatsApp for 9/10 rating. Have requested you to share ratings on all points so that I shall take steps to improve.
  2. Thank you JJ for your kind comment Quote ” Why write this yourself why not instead make it like. 11 chapters written by 11 different mentees who would focus on that one trait they found most beneficial – in that showing all facets of your mentoring abilities and skill base . Like in style of the “one minute manager”, EndQuote
  3. A great lady Doctor Dr.SP whose service to humanity is unparalleled wrote in all humility Quote “Thanks sir Personally i feel it is too juvenile for me to answer these questions as you are too good to inspire,stimulate, guide and mentor anyone. We are blessed to have someone of your stature to mentor us.” End Quote.
  4. JK wrote on WhatsApp – Quote “Very Good Sir, Its impressive” End Quote.
  5. YS an Ex-colleague wrote in Marathi Quote ” Khup Chhan AAhe! with Two thumbs Up !”End Quote
  6. VSC wrote from Delhi – Quote” Shall read it thoroughly, As you are one good writer and Very Good Motivator “End quote.
  7. Retd Cdr. RP from Delhi wrote Quote “Thank you Sir, Seems to be a very well thought of and detailed description of your 11 Approaches” End Quote.
  8. My old colleague HP from Mumbai/ Kochi wrote: Quote “I perused. The approaches theory is different. You may want to add a bit more of examples in between. I find people respond more to this. Also after going through it thrice, I find it to be too serious, a bit of humour helps. Also you could reduce the repetition of Jay in the whole content as it seems to be too repetitive especially when the paragraphs are not large. You have also ended it very abruptly. You need to phase it out saying Jay is available on ___ etc etc ” End Quote. I shared the 5 Track Thinking behind the Article and what are my plans in the near future with my Peer HP. And I was delighted when he wrote back “Wow. Now I am tongue-tied. Hats off.” Thank you so much HP for kindly reading the article and sharing your insights, and keeping the Secret !
  9. Dr. (Mrs)S.D. from Pune another peer and Executive Development Trainer and Coach of repute said “Sir it is written very nicely but too lengthy I think”. And I mentioned to her that this is just an Outline of the things to follow and she also agreed “WOW. Look forward to”.
  10. JS my ex boss and Mentor and a very Senior Consultant from UAE / Dubai/ Abu Dhabi commented: Quote” It’s good .not sure of (Approach) No. 8 though That’s something your mentees should be writing Also not sure whether you should position yourselves as small brand. Others good. You could add sounding board and philosopher too.”End Quote Thank you JS for spending your valuable time to read and share your valuable comments.
  11. My Senior Cousin, Ex-General from Army, Ex-VC and Health Advisor to a Reputed University in Pune said “Difficult to Comment”. After clarifying the future plans over phone, as my True Connector Mentor; he asked me to write to him on Monday and agreed to introduce to senior University experts on Entrepreneurship, Startup Cells to discuss and carry my plans forward by seeking their collaboration. He agreed to do the honours! WOW! Thank you Dada!
  12. Mr. BM Mumbai/ Bangalore a current President of a Pharma Co, C-Level Executive Coach and Search consultant of the yesteryears said, Quote”How about (i)using pictures (ii)to weave it into a wonderful story… to begin with?” End Quote. I was privileged to speak to him over phone for 10 minutes to give him the context and plan. His response 👍🏼 “I get the contacts better now”. So there is after all a plan and some mystery surrounding the article
  13. DJ from Bangalore – a friend I found via Linkedin.com and an International Insurance Expert said, Quote “Beautiful. It captures the essence of what a mentor should be.” After sharing the context and plan – his reaction – “WOW! Look forward to”. Thank you DJ for your time and comments.
  14. My last Pro-Bono Mentee who went on a Fast track 55 day gruelling Coaching/Mentoring drive with me sent her scorecard:   Quote “The score to all questions (except 8 and 9) is 8. (about approach No. 8 can’t say for the other mentees. Approach No. 9 (rating is) 6”
  15. Feedforward by SS
    Chief Revenue Officer / Chief Operating Officer / P&L Head- Media, Health Care, Logistics & Supply Chain and Education
    “Mr Parkhe is a wonderful person. He has mentored many people (including myself) who have benefitted immensely by his guidance. Always avaialable to give superb advise when your stuck or in a dilemma. I know of many people who have achieved stupendous success in their lives and careers through Mr Parkhe’s structured and meticulous mentoring. He’s a super coach !”
  16.  By SS a Director

    “Hi sir really a wonderful write up nice narratioN”

    17 By BSK
    Managing Partner at  Text & Print
    “Jay it was intEresting reading your work and business profile we are into sportswear manufacturing specially Football.”

    18.By BSM
    Global C Level Retained Executive Search| Technology & Functional Leadership Hiring | Technology Entrepreneur
    “Great article and an awesome write-up.”

    19 By GK
    Army Veteran experienced in Telecom, Security Management, Training, Administration, Procurement & Logistics
    “Great synopsis….do connect , we manufacture footwear”

    20. By JRI
    Author
    “Jay is what he says he is, eleven rolled into one. Man of kindness and determination. He had a bit of health problem and the way he came back and started his daily walk one should admire. Kindness I find in him and he stands by what he says to all. I find consultants reluctant to direct another to probable end user, is not the case with Jay. There is a plentifulness in this world that he is ready to share with. Good man to follow. Happy he put it in 11 challenges that others face that he can happily resolve. “

    21.By AG
    Vice President, Regional Business Unit Brakes Components, Asia-Pacific – CHINA

    “Very thoughtfully evaluated and described, variety of roles a mentor has to play. Apart from most important and trustful bond between mentor and mentee, mentor also plays vital role to harness technical, functional emotional, social competence to pursue own goals with determination. This all a experienced Dhananjay can well and truly deliver !! All the best”

    22. DG- DELHI

    “HI Sir i read it. Difficult for me to comment. People are multi-dimensional beings. I can’t conceptualise ppl by categorising their traits.
    If i have to talk about someone i will do it in story form talking about how they experience life n see the world n how different the perspective is. HAPPY TO SERVE. “

    23. RS -PUNE – EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR – Top Law Firm and Retired DGP- ED.

    “Excellent write up. Summarises your capabilities pretty well. Keep Going.”

    24 By SG
    Director (Skill Education) PUNE
    “Simply I can see , he is the perfect idol for any entrepreneur. All roles with detailed descriptions is truly Amazing. I personally vouch for his strategic inputs on challenges, funnelling our difficulties, make to understand us on focus of business, conceptual thinking , how to break the glass ceiling , I can give more then 10 marks for each role if it is in my hands”

    Most appreciated SG. You are very kind – Jay

    25.Ms. MK – Mumbai
    Cluster Manager
    “DP Sir as we all call him has been a wonderful guide,coach and a mentor to many of us who have been fortunate to work with him.One person who is always ready to embrace change, learn and apply new things and technically updated.These 11 points are just a synopsis of a bigger personality that he is.”

    26. By PSB

    Chairman of a leading NGO in Karnataka wrote

    Quote”

    Thanks for considering myself to rate your excellency….
    On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being maximum, i would rate yourself at 9.25 over all…
    The reasons for 9.25 being:
    1. Your are creative thinker
    2. Critical thinker
    3. Motivational personality
    4. creates catalyst of mentor development
    5. impulsive nature
    6. Go an extra mile to ensure team grows and achieves the goal
    7. Do excellent background analysis
    8. Resource partner
    The reasons for 0.75 being:
    1. May need some time to analyze Students with their past history
    and maybe through some physiological tests or studies on students which will help you to analyse them better and can groom based on their strength
    2. There is always scope for growth and this 0.75 can help you to build that.
    I feel for our Trust, your mentorship is just too proficient and adroit caliber and we are blessed to have you.”End Quote

In all I received the Ratings from over 100 of my recent mentee.. i wait till 30th April to receive all Feedforward and Scorecard and begin tabulating final scores for my personal improvement and development gap analysis. Meanwhile, There are few bloggers who began following me on www.parkhe.com and were reciprocated on their blogs

Apart from the 250+ personal messages, Smileys, Thumbs Ups, Hi-Fives from busy friends and Mentees and the Likes on the Linkedin Page – these Ladies and Gentlemen who wrote their comments Made my day. Sometimes – even a mentor needs to re-channelise his inward focus and negative energy – OUTWARD and Re-Create one’s own Brand Magic ! Thank you all for your kindness and your valuable time. Most appreciated.

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