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E.S.T.M. a sub-approach Of Jay Parkhe’s 11 Mentoring approaches Part 2

In this sub-Approach spread over two sessions Jay Parkhe takes the mentee through two other techniques using terms from totally different subject, speciality, Music, Poetry.

In 1st Part we discussed,

universal emotions, what they look like, and why we’re biologically hardwired to express them this way:
Anger. …
Fear. …
Disgust. …
Happiness. …
Sadness. …
Surprise. …
Contempt.

In this part, we discuss with the Mentee:

ragas

Hindustani Classical Music: Different Kinds of Ragas

Rāga (Sanskrit: राग), comes from a Sanskrit word for “the act of colouring or dyeing”, or simply a “colour, hue, tint, dye”. The term also connotes an emotional state referring to a “feeling, affection, desire, interest, joy or delight”, particularly related to passion, love, or sympathy for a subject or something.  In the context of ancient Indian music, the term refers to a harmonious note, melody, formula, building block of music available to a musician to construct a state of experience in the audience.

From a Mentor’s perspective these are important when I am using the ESTM sub technique as it is enriched by these emotions and testing their stability in the Mentee.

  1. Feeling 2. Affection 3. Desire, 4. Interest 5. Joy 6. Delight  Relating to

A. Passion – I call it Pass-I-On or Pass-It-On.

B. Love

C. Sympathy / Empathy

In ancient Indian Music Raga refers to

i. Harmonious Notesworld of Ragas.jpg

ii. Melody

iii. Formula

iv. Building block of music

to construct a state of Experience for the audience.

emot stab

I do not test each of them but once I have gathered and understood the Mentee’s interest, Passion, aptitude for one or more of the above I test them on the Musical level which is creating Harmony, Melody, Formula and Building Blocks of Success and their ability to do so.

This is not an easy exercise and the tough parts are : Feeling, Affection, Passion and Love.  Some mentees mask their Delight, Joy, Sympathy, Empathy while the Real Pseudo Mentees who are out to play spoilsport and waste the mentors’ and their own time and efforts get exposed and usually quit or asked to quit by the mentor.

Music is a very powerful communication medium and it helps us find balance and calm, peace within us. Music begins to live on us and in the same way, Jay tests his mentees on what really ‘LIves on them, what makes them tick or untick or cool off” .  This is a difficult exercise and Jay carefully chooses his mentees and whom to put to this test without announcing.

The third and final sub-set of this technique of S.T.E.M. is not from Music but another art form – Acting and it is called Rasa. It is said that Bharata Muni enunciated the eight Rasas in the Nātyasāstra, an ancient Sanskrit text of dramatic theory and other performance arts, written between 200 BC and 200 AD.

  1. In the Indian performing arts, a rasa is a sentiment or emotion evoked in each member of the audience by the art. The Natya (Acting) Shastra mentions six rasa in one section, but in the dedicated section on rasa it states and discusses eight primary rasa.

    1Raudram rasa of the destructive fury of goddess Durga in Bharatanatyam

  2. Related to love, eros (Śṛngāra, शृङ्गार)

  3. Humorous, comic (Hāsya, हास्य)

  4. Pathetic, disgust (Bībhatsa, बीभत्स)

  5. Fury, anger (Raudra, रौद्र)

  6. Compassion, sympathy (Kāruṇya, कारुण्य)

  7. Heroic (Vīra, वीर)

  8. Terrible, horrifying (Bhayānaka, भयानक)

  9. Marvellous, amazing (Adbhuta, अद्भुत)

As an Accomplished mentor Jay Parkhe Tests the ABLE Mentees thru this E.S.T.M. Test and try out 2 o 3 of these parallels as Emotional stability tests.  No mentee is ever ready to pass thru all 9 neiher is any mentor capable of conducting all without a sense of emotion, sadness at putting the mentee thru a grueling test,  Scolding, presurising, autocratically, dominating which sometimes cracks the Best of mentees too.

As I have said before, these are not tests of Go, No Go nature -although they give a deep insight into the minds of the mentees and helps the mentor to specifically focus on the important ones.

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When I became a SME Reporter

Thank you Jet airways Global Linkers platform for SMEs who gave me an opportunity to be a SME reporter for a day and cover the Indo-Dutch Startup link inauguration event.

https://jetairways.globallinker.com/#/bizforum/article/15986

Indo-Dutch Startup Initiative – Bengaluru: SME Reporter Series

TRADE FAIRS AND EVENTS

Dhananjaya Parkhe

14 minutes ago — 4 min read

Summary: As part of our SME Reporter series, Dhananjaya Parkhe reports on the Indo-Dutch #StartUpLink event held on the 25th of May in Bengaluru. Read on for an insider’s view on an event that could shape the startup ecosystem in both countries.

 

I was told by a Dutch colleague in Netherlands about the Dutch Prime Minister’s visit to India about 45 days ago. The Indo-Dutch #StartUpLink is developed for Indian and Dutch startups that are exploring each other’s markets and offers access to key information, relevant networks, pilot opportunities and navigators for the respective startup ecosystems. The event was held on 25th May in Bengaluru at the Taj West End hotel.

 

Prior to the event, I interacted with the Dutch Foreign Ministry from Netherlands and with the Dutch Embassy in Delhi and Bengaluru about participation. Their reception was heartwarming.  When I mentioned that I mentor startups, I was asked to send three profiles of startups in Bengaluru which I have been supporting. They chose Nayonika Eyecare Charitable Trust among the three. Eye Care was an issue that the delegation wanted to focus on.  They currently have an association with Shankara Netralaya we were told. We shared that this is a humanitarian area and non-compete collaborative era and we also have good relations on reciprocal basis with Shankara Netralaya. We were told to submit our presentation for preview to the incoming delegates and the Ministry.

 

At the event, the first session had a CNBC host as the anchor who had run a startup programme for 17 years on their channel. There were nearly 150 participants. The Mayor of Bengaluru and Minister of Trade Development next came on stage and shared their ideas, thoughts about StartupLink which is associated with the Startup India initiative.

 

It was followed by a dinner attended by about 700 invitees and unfortunately the PM could not attend as he had to rush back due to an emergency. Bilateral contracts worth Euro 6.9 billion were signed during this event and the parties concerned were invited on stage and honoured.

 

We could not locate our Dutch counterparts in the confusion created by the PM’s absence.  However, the silver lining was we could personally meet and discuss, exchange cards with the Dutch Trade Minister, Minister of Foreign affairs and the Minister for Healthcare.

 

We also met the Mayor of Bengaluru about our new project ‘Netra Abhiyan’ with the government of Karnataka and Namma Bengaluru Foundation to work in 502 identified slum areas for a blindness prevention drive.

 

While I had mixed feelings about the overall programme, the personal touch by the ministers in inviting us to write to them directly so that they could introduce us to the concerned people directly was the highlight and I felt that they are genuinely interested in the cause of promoting startups and humanitarian initiatives.

To learn more about the event, network by clicking on the ‘Invite’ button on my eBiz Card.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views, official policy or position of GlobalLinker.

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Dhananjaya Parkhe

Mentor

Dhananjay Parkhe / Bengaluru, India

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The Teacher and the Woman Rhyming Couplet Ideas by jay

See the eating of the teacher,
I think he’s angry at the imaginary creature.

He finds it hard to see the tissue,
Overshadowed by the heavy gnu.

Who is that flying near the rat?
I think she’d like to eat the doormat.

She is but an intelligent woman,
Admired as she sits upon a noblewoman.

Her gentle car is just a turtle,
It needs no gas, it runs on pirtle.

She’s not alone she brings a sheep,
a pet pig, and lots of weep.

The pig likes to chase a monkey,
Especially one that’s in the flunky.

The teacher shudders at the fancy pig
He want to leave but she wants the rig.

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JayParkhe’s Mentor MasterClass takes off on meetup dot com. Welcome to 28 First Day Joinees.

https://www.meetup.com/Mentor-Masterclasses-by-Jay-Parkhe-f…
Join us even if you are not in Bengaluru. We propose to have Webinars for outstation joinees and of course the One on One calls are for both.

Mentor Masterclasses by Jay Parkhe for Startpreneurs, SMEs (Bangalore, India)
My new Meetup just launched! Join Professional Mentor for Startpreneurs and C Level aspirantsDear Mentor MasterClassMates,I welcome you to this Meet up. I…
MEETUP.COM

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Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

Dealing with perceptions

in my mind’s eyes

hoping against hope

my presuppositions

my cognitive bias

my hyper criticism brutally

and honestly delivered

Reacted fiercely

Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

Interpreted differently

Forgetting all the time

There could be another way

May be it means something else

Meanings, judgements passed

Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

Forgetting our Being Human!

The tendencies to err

To become ruthless

Behave unnaturally with vengeance

Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

In the meaningless repetitive

Arguments to prove us Right

Leaving sanity, wisdom

Ignoring subtle visible facts

Getting self centred

Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

To prove I’m always right

No remorse, no feelings and

Emotions towards others

No empathy no sympathy

Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

Being mean before we know it

Mean machines we become

And wonder

Mean machine or

Meaning making Machine –

who am I ?

Is that me?

Who have I become

A Moron, a sadist

A masochist

Or just Mean machine or Meaning making Machine – who am I ?

(Writing poetry after many years! It needs a deep provocation, a shining up a mentors huge stick! And it just flowed)

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What mentors do for startup founders

A startup can have all of it — a good suggestion, an expanding customer unfriendly, funding, an excellent outlook — yet discover itself floundering, struggling to cope with a transforming into team or finding out the most effective approach to make use of these bucks for enlargement. And that’s the place the appropriate mentor could be helpful, nudging the founders within the appropriate path and helping them develop each for my part and professionally.“Having the appropriate mentor is crucial. It can be the difference between making a fine decision and a disastrous one,” says Abhishek Verma, founding father of nine-month-historic startup Mojostar, a celebrity-pushed retail business. Verma receives advice from those that have been there and accomplished it before him on three counts — navigating massive partnerships and negotiating, hiring the appropriate americans, and getting to know the way to allocate capital. Verma, who became part of Myntra’s brand team previous, has drawn his mentors from the style etailer’s old management team.TIES OF suggestions

Warren Buffett – bill Gates

The Microsoft founder has commonly mentioned famed investor Warren Buffet is his adviser when it comes to ideas and investments, other than being a detailed pal. Gates has noted Buffett asked him a couple of hard questions in the early years of Microsoft, which helped him build the company into the tech giant it grew to be

Larry Ellison – Marc BenioffThey’ve have had public feuds but they’re additionally shut friends, and Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison supported Benioff throughout the early days of Salesforce, offering counsel, assist and day without work from work.bill Campbell – Jeff BezosA former Columbia institution soccer participant and educate, Campbell labored with and mentored with one of the vital greatest names in tech, including Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Larry web page and Eric SchmidtWhile mentoring is constantly about a casual, very own relationship with a senior or more experienced grownup who takes an hobby in a more youthful entrepreneur with spark and power, in some instances the relationships are more formal. a few accelerators assign mentors to the startups of their programmes, while some angel investors play the role of adviser. In other circumstances, “professional mentors” engage a stake in the company to dish out suggestions.A examine by activity insight, a non-profit that supports excessive-impact entrepreneurs the world over, found that 33% of founders who are mentored via a hit entrepreneurs went on to turn into correct performers. “The magnitude of difference between the performance of companies with a success mentors and groups that lack them suggests that the cost of beneficial mentors for startups may well be above all excessive,” activity insight’s director Rhett Morris writes.Sagar Yarnalkar, founder of grocery delivery platform DailyNinja, says his mentors are also his angel investors — TaxiForSure’s Aprameya Radhakrishna, Freecharge’s Kunal Shah and Anupam Mittal of Shaadim. “Aprameya helped me plan my incentive structure to work with companions and milk carriers beneath the gadget. He had journey working with providers right through his time at TaxiForSure,” he says. Shah and Mittal helped set up conferences with key buyers. All this helped Yarnalkar bag an additional round of funding from Sequoia Capital last December. “a pretty good mentor will need the equal factor you desire and back you to the hilt,” he says.usual MENTORS IN INDIAAparameya Radhakrishna, founder of TaxiForSurePhanindra Sama, founder of RedBusKunal Shah, founder of FreechargeAnupam Mittal, founder of ShaadimGlobally, too, founders of tech giants like Apple’s Steve Jobs, Google’s Larry page and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos have mentioned how having a mentor helped them build and scale their companies.

In India, there are lots of a hit entrepreneurs who associate with more youthful ones to support build the startup ecosystem. closing yr, Niti Aayog invited purposes for its ‘Mentor India’ programme, beneath which mentors might guide schools college students in govt Atal Tinkering Labs. around 750 mentors have been chosen for programme throughout the country. whereas some entrepreneurs just put their identify down as a mentor in order that a startup can raise money, others are in fact attracted to the increase of the business and support every time feasible.

Some suppose the word ‘mentorship’ has been abused in India. “Mentors in India are overrated. basically, ninety% of the time an entrepreneur takes the name of someone as a mentor because it sounds respectable. on occasion an angel investor puts in money and leaves however is credited as a mentor,” says Somdutta Singh, vice-chairperson of Nasscom Product Council and a member of the core administration committee of girls Entrepreneurial telephone, NITI Aayog. She says many incredibly-valued startups in India grew through inserting big names as mentors after they had been beginning but the relationship wasn’t really one in every of nurturing and advising.

If entrepreneurs get a “skilled mentor”, it comes for a monthly price. Singh herself is a mentor to startups via her consulting firm and her roles at Nasscom and Niti Ayog and fees a charge for her time.“just a few accelerators charge startups charges each month for an hour of mentoring, but mentorship isn’t consultancy provider. which you can’t pay them by using the hour,” says Ishan Singh, who has led three investments and is a mentor to 10 startups, including WeDoSky and PeeBuddy. He become previously a mentor to the founders of 91 Springboard. An advisory equity stake, constantly 1-5% within the enterprise, helps the mentor be utterly aligned to the growth of the enterprise, he says.There are still risks though. PeeBuddy co-founder Deep Bajaj remembers the time a “mentor” disappeared after inquiring for a 2% stake in the enterprise. “fortunately we hadn’t issued it. but i know many startups who haven’t been as lucky,” he says.To counter this, in Israel, its innovation authority has a formalised mentor-mentee programme, which ensures that the individuals signing up as mentors are tracked online for the number of hours spent assisting startups. Nasscom’s Deep Tech membership has all started an analogous programme with legal professionals, accountants and entrepreneurs appearing as mentors, and they need to visit the startups twice a week.

So how does one select the foremost mentor? Somdutta Singh has an ‘paintings’ —Aspiration-Responsiveness-Transition — for it. “The startup’s aspiration should healthy the mentor’s. Responsiveness is helping them connect with the appropriate individuals. Transition is to help startups develop. A mentor may still do all these,” she says.Verma says a startup should have a clear purpose and define specific results for the relationship. Ishan Singh, too, advises startups to spell out the expectations they have got from the mentor and to do wide research before signing one on. Mentors should be sincere ample if assist they can’t support, Singh says. “I even have declined somewhat a few startups as a result of I don’t consider i am the right grownup to help them,” he says.

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Random Phrases for today. Let us see next… :)

  1. Down For The Count
    Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so.  Does it mean Me? 
  2. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted
    Meaning: It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money. Quite true. I fall prey all the time to neuromarketing gimmicks. 
  3. Keep Your Shirt On
    Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  LOL ! how true! 
  4. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt. Yes. I am. Trying Hard. Redesigning blog. Planning whether to restart painting. Have to prepare two teaching courses. Dependency is BAD.
  5. A Dime a Dozen
    Meaning: Something that is extremely common. Hmmm.  I am so mundane ! 🙂
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Via BrainPickings Newsletter: Theodore Roosevelt on the Cowardice of Cynicism and the Courage to Create Rather Than Criticize

I like this newsletter.  How many of us have met people who take refuge, subterfuge (deceit) of projecting they know everything as Omniscients and Demi-Gods! And their masks of Omnipotence wear out thin as the exposure hurts like Exfoliation of the soft skin exposed to the Tropical Sun. It burns like hell.

“There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic,” Maya Angelou wrote in contemplating courage in the face of evil, “because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.”

How to prevent that cultural tragedy, which poisons the heart of a just and democratic society, is what Theodore Roosevelt (October 27, 1858–January 6, 1919) examined when he took the podium at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23 of 1910 to deliver one of the most powerful, rousing, and timelessly insightful speeches ever given, originally titled “Citizenship in a Republic” and later included under the title “Duties of the Citizen” in the 1920 volume Roosevelt’s Writings (public library).

Theodore Roosevelt

A century before Caitlin Moran cautioned that “cynicism scours through a culture like bleach, wiping out millions of small, seedling ideas,” Roosevelt admonishes against “that queer and cheap temptation” to be cynical, and writes:

The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. There are many men who feel a kind of twister pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities — all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. They mark the men unfit to bear their part painfully in the stern strife of living, who seek, in the affection of contempt for the achievements of others, to hide from others and from themselves in their own weakness. The rôle is easy; there is none easier, save only the rôle of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance.

One of the tendencies I find most troubling in contemporary culture is that of mistaking cynicism for critical thinking. This confusion seeds a pernicious strain of unconstructive and lazily destructive opprobrium. Amid this epidemic of self-appointed critics, it becomes harder and harder to remember just how right Bertrand Russell was when he asserted nearly a century ago that “construction and destruction alike satisfy the will to power, but construction is more difficult as a rule, and therefore gives more satisfaction to the person who can achieve it.”

With an eye to those lazy critics — the dead weight of society — Roosevelt offers:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat… The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic, or fop, or voluptuary. There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm, of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder.

The entire twenty-seven-page speech, found in Roosevelt’s Writings and on par with JFK’s superb speech on the artist’s role in society, is a masterpiece of thought and feeling, replete with insight into what it means to be a good citizen, a good leader, and a complete human being. Complement this particular fragment with Leonard Bernstein on the countercultural courage of resisting cynicism, Goethe on the only criticism worth voicing, and philosopher Daniel Dennett on how to criticize with kindness, then revisit Eleanor Roosevelt on how uncynical personal conviction powers social change.

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Random -Rambling -Rants :)

The Plot generator sent me a few sentences and it started getting thicker. Imagine writing something as mundane as the following statements in Bold...:)

  • She folded her handkerchief neatly.

    And I realized the semi-wet piece of white cloth which got moist just looking at the screen for nearly 100 minutes on a Video call. Eyes were most, but words coming clear and firm. The discussions were heated and the confrontation brought stunned silence. I had to change tracks and laugh out loud to lessen the impact. There was constant wiping of First the right eye and later the left eye and the pursed lips told the story of suppressed sadness and angry emotions.

  • Everyone was busy, so I went to the movie alone.

    The reason is, I tend to emote and shed a lot of tears whenever I see a very heart touching dialogue and superlative acting – and I like to be alone then.  I had struggled during my Film Censoring days when it was embarrassing and awkward and once a Lady Film Director saw me in this mode and smiles understandingly and when we passed her film – she said, “Jay, you made my day. My film and actors had to bring out this emotion and I was happy to see you shedding tears at the right scenes while maintaining your Objectivity as Censor ( and suggesting a few cuts as well 🙂 ) I am certain the audiences will like the film. It did. It was a Hit.

  • The lake is a long way from here.

    No I did not shed so many tears to fill the lake :).  These are our private moments, we shed tears at times very privately, without anyone knowing and we mask our emotions, sentiments.  Some fierce, firebrand people I have met have privately shared with me their quiet moments when they sobbed alone and shed tears profusely to calm their nerves.  IMHO,  it is good to let emotions flow sometimes rather than letting them stay suppressed with more pressure so that others do not know our inner softness. I won’t ever call it a weakness – I feel it is very natural. I tend to think it is Being Human.

  • What do you think?
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Random phrases make my day – Jack of all trades Master of none is at top today :)

Just wondering how well or badly the day pans out 🙂

  1. Jack of All Trades Master of None
    Meaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them.
  2. Par For the Course
    Meaning: What you would expect to happen; something normal or common.
  3. Ring Any Bells?
    Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.
  4. Mouth-watering
    Meaning: Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.
  5. Swinging For the Fences
    Meaning: Giving something your all.
  6. Down For The Count
    Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so
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Dedicated to Mentees who quit or Cracked!

I wrote an article some time ago, about the 11 mentoring approaches I used and then found that there are many many more Mentoring approaches I do not know about. I was especially inspired by this video I found on YouTube that talks about 5 1/2 Mentors which this Basketball player found in his lifetime which are so precious and way better than my 11 approached.

I dedicate this article and urge especially the Mentees whom I dropped, who quit, or who Cracked under the KickAss Mentor’s pressures and Strict Coach Talk/ writings. They may still have a chance to move up in life as all is not lost. I loved this video. Sharing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quhcyPpCaSk

I read somewhere that Mentors appear when the Pupils are ready but as a Skeptic I believe that Mentors come for :

a. A Reason

b. A Season or

c. For Life as a life coach.

I know the amount of pressure, I exert on mentees is so unbearable that The Reason sometimes changes to Treason 🙂 and mentees begin Reverse Mentoring – as they believe Jay is such an inferior guy – we can coach and mentor him better !

The Season may last for a Quarter, Half year or 4-5 years and then as the Mentees learn to find mentors for their Augmented needs and Augmented wants of their businesses, their personal motivations – Jay Parkhe takes a back seat willing. That’s when the SEASONING and ripening of the Mentees begin. jay calls it WEAN to WIN approach.

Some Mentees keep in touch as they believe they have formed a bond which is life long and they keep in touch at their will and for them it is ATM – Any time mentoring where the phonelines, emails, whatsApp or SMS never shut. They reach you on Social media complimenting, commenting, sharing, agreeing, disagreeing, congratulating and sharing sad moments together.

Mentoring does all of this. It can display in a simple limp handshake with a sweaty but cold palm that the person is Selfish, will turn ungrateful, ingrate but the good mentors persist as they believe in the power to reform. No one can change and adult. Only adults can transform themselves and change. As you can see in this video as well. Jay has met several Ex-Cons who came for advice, Reformed, became part of this world by giving up all their bad deeds, negative influences, negative people surrounding them by building a strong fort in their minds to counter them and Jay takes pride in helping them build and reinforce every strong wall, trench and tunnel and their Big Guns!

Such is the pleasure of Mentoring. Enjoy the video. I found it very inspiring.

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Sometimes Random sentences make or mar our days.

  1. Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.  So very true for this day.  Damn my biorhythms !
  2. I will never be this young again. Ever. Oh damn… I just got older.  That’s right. 
  3. He said he was not there yesterday; however, many people saw him there.  Hmmm… Must have lied to his wife, who else?:)
  4. Is it free? WHAT IS?  Yes, Advice is free, feedback is free. Even T H A T people charge money these days – they are called MENTORS like Jay 🙂 
  5. Tom got a small piece of pie. Hmmm… anything left for me.. NOOO! Im on diet till 31st July. Have to drop to 80Kg ! 
  6. She folded her handkerchief neatly.  One of my babyboomer (habit) privilege also stolen! 🙂 
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Thicken the Plot – Bring Potboiler to BOIL!

  1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place
    Meaning: 
    Being faced with two difficult choices.
  2. Jaws of Death
    Meaning: 
    Being in a dangerous or very deadly situation.
  3. On the Ropes
    Meaning: 
    Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless!
  4. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: 
    Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt.
  5. Down To Earth
    Meaning: 
    Practical or humble; unpretentious.
  6. Dropping Like Flies
    Meaning: 
  7. To fall down ill or to die in large numbers.
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Which part of body I devoted all my life to develop :)

“A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body – the wishbone.”

via Today’s Quote https://ift.tt/2fkwCX4

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Sometimes, the random sentences are Soooo creative and Positive :)

  1. I love eating toasted cheese and tuna sandwiches.  And I am a vegetarian. 
  2. There were white out conditions in the town; subsequently, the roads were impassable.  Truly describing terrible Bangalore colonies roads.
  3. The book is in front of the table.  Yes but I haven’t even read the cover page. 
  4. Cats are good pets, for they are clean and are not noisy.  I like the FOLLOW ME Pugs though. Except I don’t like to take them on a Poop Walk.  My morning walks are clean 🙂
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Almost, Blasphemous, Almost Profanity Phrases of the Day!:)

  1. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts
    Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses.
  2. Foaming At The Mouth
    Meaning: To be enraged and show it.
  3. Cry Wolf
    Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.
  4. Man of Few Words
    Meaning: A person who does not speak a great deal; someone who talks with as few words as possible.
  5. Ring Any Bells?
    Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.
  6. Break The Ice
    Meaning: Breaking down a social stiffness.
  7. Go Out On a Limb
    Meaning: Putting yourself in a risky situation in order to help someone; or to hazard a guess.
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Let me help you with your baggage.

Keep Your Eyes Peeled

 

As the clock on this blog
and clock on my laptop
are 1 hour different
from each other.

 

 

Don’t step
on the broken glass.
As I broke the laptop 
Clock

 

 

A song can make
or ruin a person’s day
only if they let it
get to them.
If I don’t like
something, like a song
I’ll just
stay away from it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The waves were crashing
on the shore;
it is a lovely sight
She worked two jobs
to make ends meet;
at least, that was
her reason for not
having time to join us.

 

When I ran out of money,
so I had to stop
playing poker and
the foolish joker I was.

 

 

 

The waves were
crashing on the shore;
it was a lovely sight.
The mysterious diary
recorded my voice.

 

 

 

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Random phrases – very indicative of current.

  1. Hands Down
    Meaning: 
    Anything that’s easy or has no difficulty; something that is a certainty.
  2. Rain on Your Parade
    Meaning: 
    To spoil someone’s fun or plans; ruining a pleasurable moment
  3. Up In Arms
    Meaning: 
    Angry; being roused to the point that you are ready to fight.
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Random Sentence/ Lateral thoughts

The three sentences I found at randome are: Will be interesting how they apply by the end of the day as possible solutions to the problems at hand.

I use Dr. Edward De Bono’s Random object attribution listing method of creative problem solving and the variant I use is Random sentences and Random phrases.  Both are path breakers in most instances that I have tried personally, for others or for businesses.  Try it out.

  1. Lets all be unique together until we realise we are all the same.
  2. Mary plays the piano.
  3. My Mum tries to be cool by saying that she likes all the same things that I do.
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WOW! 88.8 ! No its not Poker Win but it is a Win all the same. May make me a Diet Mentor now.

So Congratulations to me.  The credit for this goes to my loving wife and family and my Doctors who did not let me waver like true mentors for one moment from my goal. They set three big strategic targets for me after my 2 heart attacks

  1. Get to 68Kg – your weight when you married 38 years ago and present a Jay as he was to your wife.  Motivating but tough.
  2. Second Get to Under 90 Kg before May 2018 and maintain the weight.
  3. Come to 80 Kilos by 31st July and you will have nearly Reversed your Heart disease by strict medical management, Walking as the only exercise other than some breating Yoga exercises and Extremely strict Dietary conrols and managemnt.

 

I like to MEASURE.  Without measuring nothing is achieved.  I used different Apps for Walking measurement, Steps measurement, Weight measurement, BP measurement, Sugar measurement

Without Documentation of what you do, you can not prove as people are interested to have an EMPIRICAL (sic !) EVIDENCE that what you claim is true..  So I maintained a journal in which i record all the above and my Insulin dosage plus I also record EPISODES such as the number of times I fell down, Number of times I ate out, No. of days on travel, No. of issues – fractured hand, Arthritis, Frozen shoulder, Extreme sweating etc as told to maintain by my Great Doctors who are now friends.  Without their help it was not possible.

Look at these pics – Before and After. This was ME in August 2007 when TNT CEO visited India and I had just returned from Tirupati after a headshave and a Darshan. I weighed a good 135 Kilos then and was ready for a Heart Attack.  I had stopped all forms of Alcohol in 2006 beginning and stopped Non-vegetarian food much before that by I was still eating lots of namkins and salted, fried peanuts and was smoking to glory as a chainsmoker.

dp Aut 2008As Diabetes was detected in 2006, I was put on Tablets and No Sugar, Minimal Salt food and I had reduced my food intake by about 20% overall without of course stopping the peanuts and snacks which put my blood sugar out of control and the Doctor to comment – other than your Kidneys everything seems wrong and you are waiting for a silent heart attack soon.  I changed the doctor though, as he was mostly abroad and was not guiding me correctly and I was left to the mercy of his wire thin dietician who had run out of ideas about giving me recipe’s as none of her 20 recipe’s worked.
dp july 2007 Weight drop after diabetes was not very significant but I managed to get the photographer to get this shot so I look thinner in the picture atleast with a french beard or a ‘goatee”.  🙂 I still weighed 132 Kilos in July 2008

The below picture is when I was honoured as an Honorary Professor of SIBM Pune, Bangalore by the Chairman of Symbiosis Dr. Muzumdar.  I was donating all the honorarium earned adding something from my own for their library.  Did so from 2000 to 2014.

June 2010 and I still weighed 135 Kilos as you can see from the pic below. DP June 2010

The picture below is 6 months after my 2 quick silent heart attacks of which one was noticed in Feb 14 by Symbiosis students and I was admitted to Narayana Hrudayalaya of the world famous Dr. Devi Shetty.  My Weight 108 Kg. August 2014.  When admitted the famed doctor said it is a case requiring triple bypass but your heart pumps at 15% and it is not feasible to operate. They did PET Scan and other tests and put me in ICCU for 8 days which were very boring with hospital diet food and smells and nauseating atmosphere . Two great things happened. 1. I stopped snoring 2. I stopped smoking thereafter. cropped-dp-barcode-with-tagline.jpeg

Dr. Shetty also advised me to meet the HOD of Endocrinology and now my friend Dr. Satish Kumar for putting me on Insulin, his medication and diet controls.

I was very reluctant to take insulin. Wanted to hire a nurse or go to a hospital to get injected as I would relate it to 14 injections in the stomach thing which was a fear I had about the dog bite.  Although I had a pet dog in my childhood called Tomy but I was very afraid of injections in the stomach.  But I changed my fears and went on with treatment.

Next came diet. After 2 – 4 changes of dieticians opinions Dr. Satish asked me to cut food intake to a total of 20% of what I was eating before the Episodes and my wife would listen to his advice intently and make me accept and adapt to this extremely strictly.  She maintained my food timings, quantity and watched for my excesses I would indulge on my walks etc. and added couple of juices = White gourd and fresh Grass juice to my morning breakfast.  Daughter pitched in with her client’s Sericha Tea with lunch and dinner and another daughter suggested Figs to reduce cholestrol with breakfast.

All in all I was in good hands = well disciplined, well monitored and controlled.

Weight 135 Kg.jayparkhe2028729 copy 2Dec2011

My only task was to Walk. I had started short walks post retirement in the morning and evening.  Dr. Satish motivated me to increase it periodically.  So from 2.5Km a day I have come to average 12.5 Km per day this year.  In April I crossed 10000Km on the Nike Apps meant for runners but I measured my Km walked.

All of this worked.  Then this year I realised I sleep a lot in the day time some times 2 to 6 hours as sisesta.  My weight touched on April 9 2018 98 Kilos and I was told to stop sleeping in the noon and instead walk for about 2 Km in the Sun.  It started showing results.

Post my birthday, I fitted into Readymade Slim fit Jeans after many many years and you can see the delight on my face. But I still had to go to the next target level. dp april 9 I weighe today and my Cuttent Weight 88,8kg.  For past 15 days it has been in the range of 89 to 90 kilos.  I think I am going to achieve the 80 kilo target by the due date doing what I am doing. It is working. 

So personally, it is a bigger victory than a Poker victory as even if you win 10 Million or 1- billion you can spend it all but you can not reverse the heart disease and earn more years to live with your family and friends.  My personal gratitude to all who helped.

To end, I had a brief Mentoring intervention of 60 days with a mentee and I once shared a joke with her to say ” Jaane Kiski mentoring karta firta hai,  iska wazan 5 Kilo ghat gaya hai” – it was a rigorous mentoring assignment and what this meant is “Don’t know who he mentors or what he does but his weight has gone down by 5 Kilos” So perhaps she also deserves kudos for being with me in that crucial period of losing weight and helping me achieve my target.

So next is 80.0 Kilos by 31st July. 🙂

 

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My random phrases for the day sometimes fortell the happenings of the day

#Life #Relationshiops #judging #situation #expectations

  1. I Smell a Rat Meaning: A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry.  I met him. He was late. The meeting lasted 30 minutes against original plan of 2 hours as we met after nearly 6 years. Something was amiss. Something was wrong.
  2. Par For the Course Meaning: What you would expect to happen; something normal or common. He came to the point said I shall do two things for you. I said, I came to meet without expectations. He added and committed to more more I this this was not par for the course. Seemed like a Gimme to me. 
  3. You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover Meaning: Don’t judge someone or something only by the outward appearance.  The beard was gone, Hair were short cropped, eyes bore a cold look.  Was the man Calm and composed within.  I was not judging.
  4. On the Ropes Meaning: Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless! There was no compatibility, there was no synergy, leveraging strengths was thrown out of the windows ( and were there too many of them?) The break up was inevitable. 
  5. Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I have believed in this phrase all my life but still do things as Mentor for them I should not be doing and that makes them habituated of spoon feeding, Receiving and expecting more = ready on a platter. When not delivered the bubble bursts. 

Isn’t that called Life?

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The Hermetic Revival: 7 Ancient Principles For Self-Mastery

The Hermetic Revival: 7 Ancient Principles For Self-Mastery

via The Hermetic Revival: 7 Ancient Principles For Self-Mastery

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Milton Fried man Prize for Ladies in White! WOW!

 CONGRATULATIONS ! 

The Cato Institute has presented Cuba’s Ladies in White (Damas de Blanco) with the 2018 Milton Friedman Prize for Advancing Liberty, a $250,000 biennial award presented to a group or individual who has made a significant contribution to advance human freedom. The Ladies in White have a simple message: The political prisoners of Cuba are our sons, brothers, and our husbands. They must not be forgotten.“All who labor in the name of freedom take great inspiration from — and feel a tremendous debt to — courageous people who risk everything to stand up to oppression. The Ladies in White are a stirring example,” said Peter Goettler, president and CEO of the Cato Institute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ladies in White (Damas de Blanco) have a simple message: The political prisoners of Cuba are our sons, our brothers, and our husbands. They must not be forgotten.

Every Sunday, the Ladies in White gather, or attempt to gather, for Mass at Saint Rita de Casia Church in Havana, followed by a procession down Fifth Avenue. They wear white to symbolize the peaceful nature of their protest, and each wears a photograph of a loved one who is in prison. For this the authorities have constantly harassed them and organized mob violence against them.

The movement began on March 18, 2003, when journalist Héctor Maseda Gutiérrez was arrested in his home in Havana and sentenced to 20 years in prison for criticizing the regime of Fidel Castro. His case drew worldwide attention, with Amnesty International calling him a prisoner of conscience and demanding his release. Around 75 others were arrested at the same time, in an incident that has been called the Black Spring. All have since left prison, though not unconditionally, with the majority having had to leave Cuba. Since that time, sporadic arrests of journalists, lawyers, and other intellectuals have continued in Cuba, belying the myth that with normalized relations, Cuba’s human rights record would improve. If anything, it has deteriorated.

Two weeks after Maseda was arrested, his wife Laura Pollán Toledo brought together a group of wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters of the imprisoned to pray for their loved ones. They have continued to gather each Sunday, and the movement has since spread to other churches throughout Cuba. Although they are not a political party and do not have an overtly political program, they seek freedom of expression for all and the release of prisoners of conscience in Cuba. In recognition of their courage, the Ladies in White were the 2005 recipients of the Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought, awarded by the European Parliament. The Cuban government prohibited them from attending the award ceremony in Strasbourg, France.

In 2015 Berta Soler, one of the leaders of the group, told the U.S. Senate, “Our aspirations are legitimate…. Our demands are quite concrete: freedom for political prisoners, recognition of civil society, the elimination of all criminal dispositions that penalize freedom of expression and association and the right of the Cuban people to choose their future through free, multiparty elections. We believe these demands are just and valid. Even more importantly, for us they represent the most concrete exercise of politics, a step in the direction of democratic coexistence. Cuba will change when the laws that enable and protect the criminal behavior of the forces of repression and corrupt elements that sustain the regime change.”

As the first step, the Ladies in White demand the release of all political prisoners. The outlook for many of the prisoners is grim; prison conditions are deplorable, visits are rare, and even their mail is intercepted by the authorities. And the Ladies themselves have faced increasing police harassment and arrest in recent years, as the Cuban government tries to hide-but not correct-its habit of quashing dissent. Laura Pollán died in 2011 under gravely suspicious circumstances. But the movement she founded continues: The Ladies in White will meet, pray, and bear witness every Sunday until Cuba’s political prisoners are freed.

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Even Sinners and Saints can become Better and still better.

The sinner need not have the stigma of eternal degradation and the saint need not have pride in his moral attainments.

No one, however saintly he may be, has attained the heights of moral virtues except after a life of moral failings, and no one is so bad as to be unable to improve and become good.

Everyone, no matter how depraved, can gradually become better and better until he becomes the best example for all mankind.

There is always hope for everyone; none is utterly lost and none need despair. It remains true, however, that the way to divinity lies through the renunciation of evil in favour of the good.

——-AVATAR MEHER BABA

[Source- Discourses by Meher Baba, volume-I, p-94-95 (Copyright ©1967 by Adi K. Irani, King’s Rd., Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India]

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Have you felt Humbled?

I was going thru some of my old EverNote notes.
It read:
“Unable to get people on con call.
Someone commented on my old tie –all it needs is a stitch.
I was humbled.”
Those were good old Corporate days. Sometimes due to the Global Time Differences, it would become difficult to get people on Conference Calls/ Video Calls/ Audio Chats.
I remember vividly, one of the colleagues took a dig at my tie whose label had come out from one side and was visible to the powerful camera and hence to all participants.
My colleague said “All your Old Tie needs is a Stitch”.   It humbled me.
Today, I do not remember the name of the colleague and my bad, I did not note it down in the Evernote.
Thinking – how to mend some of the Old ties? The Old friendships. The Oldest ones for example.  A friend sent me a WhatsApp last afternoon “All well? No news from you for long?”
I thought, this friend was visiting USA to his two sons and may not have access to his Indian phone number/ whatsapp as it is a long stay – he had planned to stay for 6 months.
Then after a while, I found two missed calls and one which stopped before 3 rings ( Damn Redmi Y1 and Damn my One Plus 5 T).  I called him.  He was back 15 days ago and was shifting home after 34 years.  We became colleagues and later thick friends since 1985.  His old flat / building was going under renovation and the neighbors were concerned that he had not yet vacated the flat so that the builder can start work.  He shifted to a small one bedroom flat. Sitting among boxes, he thought of me and called. He was worried as most babyboomers do when they do not get RESPONSE.
We had a catch up chat, I said I may visit your town soon for a morning/ evening trip and will try and atleast speak from  airport.  He said stay back, be my guest. Let’s catch up. We may be gone again for a long long time to USA and who knows….
I knew I was humbled again – All the Old Tie needed what just a proverbial STITCH.
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Change with the Time – Great WhatsApp forward from a friend.

In 1998, Kodak employed 1,70,000 employees and sold 85% of the world’s photo papers. Within the last few years, digital photography made them out of the market. Kodak went bankrupt and all his staff came on the road. .

HMT (clock)
BAJAJ (scooter)
DYANORA (TV)
MURPHY (radio)
NOKIA (Mobile)
RAJDOOT (bike)
AMBASSADOR (car)

Friends,
There was no shortage of quality at all, yet they were out of the market !!
reason???
They have not changed over time. !!

You have an idea that in the coming 10 years, the world will change completely and 70 to 90% of the people running today will be closed.

Welcome to the 4th Industrial Revolution …

Uber is just a software. He does not have a single car of his own, despite this he is the world’s largest taxi company.

Airbnb is the world’s largest hotel company, while they do not have a single hotel of their own.

There are many examples like paytm, ola cabs, oyo rooms.

There is no work left for young lawyers in the US now because the software named IBM Watson gives better legal advice throughout the moment. In the next 10 years, 90% of Americans will become unemployed … who will save 10% … they will be Super Specialists.

The software named Watson is diagnosed with 4x Accuracy of Cancer compared to humans. By 2030 the computer will be more intelligent than humans.

By 2018, Driverless cars will land on the roads. By 2020, this single invention will start to change the whole world.

90% cars will disappear from the streets of the world in the next 10 years … Those who will survive will either have electric cars or hybrid … roads will be empty, consumption of petrol will decrease by 90%, all Arab countries will become bankrupt .

You will request a car from a software like Uber and in a few moments, a driverless car will be parked at your door … if you share it with someone, that ride will be cheaper than your bike.

Due to being a driverless of cars, 99% of accidents will stop. This will stop the business of Car Insurance.

No employment like a driver will survive on earth. When 90% cars will disappear from cities and roads, problems like Traffic and Parking will end automatically … because a car will be equal to 20 cars today.

From today 5 or 10 years ago, there was no such place where there is no PCO. When the mobile phone arrived, the PCOs had to shut down. The PCO people started selling the mobile phones. Now the recharge is also going online.

Have you ever noticed ..?

Today, every third store in the market is a mobile phone store which does
sale, service and maintenance of phones and it’s accessories..

Almost all payments are done by Paytm today ..
People have started booking railway tickets with their phones. The transaction of money is also changing. Currency Note was replaced by Plastic Money and now it’s
Digital…

 

Hence…
Every Person should continue to make changes in his business or his / her way of working and should also change his / her nature over time for Good.

“Keep Updating / Upgrading Your Skills and Knowledge with Time”

The world is changing very fast ..
Keep Your eyes and ears open or else you will lose …

Be prepared to change with time.

Run with time and
Be Successful.🙏🌹🙏

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Interesting phrases today

  1. Go For Broke
    Meaning: To risk it all, even if it means losing everything. To go all out. 
  2. Playing For Keeps
    Meaning: Said when things are about to get serious.
  3. Goody Two-Shoes
    Meaning: A smugly virtuous person.
  4. Ring Any Bells?
    Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.
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Does Macho prove Mucho? :) Plot Thickens. See the Random quotes.

Swinging For the Fences

Meaning: 

Giving something your all.

Lickety Split

Meaning: 

To go at a quick pace; no delaying!

 

“Macho does not prove mucho.“via Funny Quote of the Day https://ift.tt/2ipz5RAZxa Zsa GaborI am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.Zsa Zsa Gabor 

Zsa Zsa Gabor (born Sári Gábor, February 61917 – December 182016) was a Hungarian-American actress and socialite.

Quotes

  • A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
    • Newsweek, March 28, 1960
  • I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
    • How to Catch a Man, Keep a Man, and Get Rid of a Man (Doubleday, 1970)
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Both Men and Women Get Bored With Monogamy—Just For Different Reasons via mel magazine.

Both Men and Women Get Bored With Monogamy—Just For Different Reasons

via Both Men and Women Get Bored With Monogamy—Just For Different Reasons

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Two Spiteful Uncles Chatting to the Beat A Short Story by jay ( Auto generated and edited :) )

Teelo Teelo was thinking about Heart Break again. Heart was a cold-blooded juggler with pursed lips and Teelo Teelo had self cause hurt to his fingers.

Teelo walked over to the window and reflected on his Odorless surroundings. He had always loved The Dark Skies with its filthy, fried Universe, Full of Stars, Self Illuminated and those shining with reflected Glory. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel concerned.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a cold-blooded figure of Heart Break.

Teelo gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. She was a snotty, scheming, beer drinker with skinny body and slimy, sweaty palms. His friends saw her as a testy, tough teacher. Once, she had even rescued an ashamed old man from a road accident.

But not even a snotty person who had once rescued an ashamed old man from a road adccident, was prepared for what Heart had in store today.

The clouds danced like gyrating pigeons, making Teelo sparkly. Teelo grabbed a crumpled guillotine that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Teelo stepped outside and Heart came closer, he could see the vague glint in her eye.

Heart glared with all the wrath of 4432 clumsy squidgy snakes. She said, in hushed tones, “I hate you but I want xoxo.”

Teelo looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the crumpled guillotine. “Heart,  I bid you adiós, adieu, addio, adeus. … aloha. … arrivederci. … ciao. … auf Wiedersehen. … au revoir. … bon voyage. … sayonara,” he replied.

They looked at each other with calm feelings, like two flabby, flipping frogs thinking at a very arrogant disco, which had trance music playing in the background and two spiteful uncles chatting to the beat.

Teelo studied Heart’s sticky lips and hurt fingers. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” began Teelo in apologetic tones, “but I don’t feel the same way, and I never will. I just don’t hate you Heart.”

Heart looked lonely, her emotions raw like a kooky, kaleidoscopic knife.

Teelo could actually hear Heart’s emotions shatter into 4863 pieces. Then the cold-blooded juggler hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of beer would calm Teelo’s nerves tonight.

 

THE END

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Story Telling – The Story for Stan F. Smith (?)

I am not sure, if Stan F. Smith was his correct name. I met the gentleman in 7th Floor Free Ward of Jaslok Hospital in year 1979.  No. He did not present a pleasant sight. His half the Skull had stitches in his bald head and he had been operated for Fileria ( Haathi Panv) but still had one leg hugely swollen and he had difficulty walking with his walking stick.

But one night, he came to my hospital bed and when I was looking for a Bed pan and could not wake up the nurses by ringing the bell – he gave me one.  I could not sleep all 8 nights I was operated but I instantly liked the gentleman.  We decided to become friends.  I learnt that the nurses do not answer to the bells in the night.  Stan would personally go to the patients in need of water, bed pans, urine pots or wake up the junior doctors if someone looked serious or showing symptoms of heart attack or panic.

As we both could not sleep, we began taking rounds of the other wards. I had a knee surgery but I was able to walk. Stan had to take some effort but he was game for it.  We managed to make friends with JUDOs the Junior Doctors and began having jokes with them. We would do numerology and I was good at palmistry then and would predict love affairs, marriage, private practice etc. what the JUDOs liked to listen and have fun at.

One day I asked Stan what he used to do for a living as he was a patient here for over an year. He said he was a marketing consultant living in Malad a Mumbai suburb.  I asked him what does it mean.  I was working in a village bank branch and had just become a field officer with Madras Fertilizers after one year of apprenticeship.  I was trying to do a British Institute Marketing Management correspondence course.  So Stan explained. He said In Mumbai which is country’s biggest retail market – you can sell anything.  Anything ! he reinforced and said – Including plain DIRT !

I was astounded.  I said how?  He said we are in Pedder Road and you can see all the high rise buildings with their luxury apartments around.  He said many of them are people who came as paupers from villages and made it rich – Mumbai was Indian Poor man’s American Dream even in those days !

He said, you live in a village and must have observed when people come back from toilets they rub their hands in dirt before washing them.  Reason: Toilet soaps are not very common in villages. I said yes. True.  He said,  People may have become multi-millionaires and may live in these skyscrapers – some of their habits are age old.  If you filter dirt, soil of different colours and make small 50 gramme packets and say Toilet Mitti (Soil) – it will sell.  He said you can bring in variants, of colours, quantity, packaging and even claim this comes form UP, RAJASTHAN, BIHAR, MP etc. etc. and people would flock to buy it.

People in Mumbai like to buy on footpaths as they are very busy people catching buses, train, taxis all the time.  The rich move near seashores and gardens.  He said Have a large umbrella and put up a stall near these places and begin selling.  He had my attention, Focus, his STATE had my empathy and I was flabbegasted by his FREE Advice to a youngster.

Over the years, we lost touch and 39 years later I am not sure, if I shall ever see Stan but I know one thing he was one hell of a marketeer who UNDERSTOOD People, Their NEEDS, Their purchasing power, Indian Psyche, The Places where they frequent, The places where they will buy.  He also advised on packaging and marketing and promotion and he said – word of mouth is the best publicity.   Rich people like to bargain the most – allow them to and let them have the last laugh and he would say you would still be reaping profits.

9 years later, I became a student of Marketing Management in Pune and I remembered my friend Stan and narrated this story to one of my Marketing Gurus and he said WOW ! I want to meet this man.  But Alas, i had no clue where he was.

Marketing as i learnt is all about Psyche’ / knowing the customer needs, buying behaviour, pattern, purchasing power and then pitching with your product/ service with different creative innovative techniques.

Below is a link I liked about Story telling from TedX shows that I like to watch from YouTube.

let me know which Hormone was activated after reading this story in you?  I am usually good at story telling as they are real life experiences but this time I am following the Art and Science of Story telling  following an expert.  May be, one day I shall appear on YouTube with my stories or well may be, become a Storyteller Paid Speaker.  🙂

 

Story Telling is an Art and Science

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It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Interesting phrases of the day.

It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Meaning: 

Failing to meet expectations;

not being as good as people say.

Keep Your Eyes Peeled

Meaning: 

To be watchful;

paying careful attention to something.

Keep On Truckin’

Meaning: 

To keep going,

pressing forward; never stopping.

Long In The Tooth

Meaning: 

Old in age.

Mainly used when referring to

people or horses.

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My day and the Random Phrases. Overall a Great day of Rest.

  1. Quick On the Draw
    Meaning: Performing an action with the greatest of haste.
  2. Back to Square One
    Meaning: To go back to the beginning; back to the drawing board. Took the lead to mend fences and getting into Mission mode rather than the Shared Vision mode. 
  3. Wouldn’t Harm a Fly
    Meaning: Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle. 
  4. It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be
    Meaning: Failing to meet expectations; not being as good as people say.  But sometimes, we fail to do the right things knowingly and then wake up too late to recover from the shock 
  5. Birds of a Feather Flock Together
    Meaning: 
    People tend to associate with others who share similar interests.  Hmmm.. 
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The Plot Thickens

I am a WayFarer with feet firmly on the Ground. I wish to help people, I am a social entrepreneur advisor and a life coach. I love to write original quotes about life, disappointments, triumphs, relationships and everything in between.

I wanted to start a blog where the situation that has gotten way more serious or interesting due to recent complexities or developments and people need instant answers. I  motivate and impact people.

This blog is to Inspire, Influence and Impacts people Positively so they bring out their latent Strengths to the fore. Strengths come to light. Monetise them. Live Life Well. Inspire others. Life is wonderful.

I hope all blog readers can join me on this journey.

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Begin a Day with Some Random Phrases:

I usually look for a word, sentence or phrase at the beginning of the day.  It gets stuck in the brain like the Musical note or a lyric – (I hear favorite songs daily for 2 hours+ while on the walk) and usually is an important one and sometimes a reminder too. It stays in the subconscious and does its work of sending cues, triggers, prompts or harsh nudges by elbows to my ribs sometimes with its reminders.

  1. All Greek To Me
    Meaning: 
    When something is incomprehensible due to complexity; unintelligble.
  2. Goody Two-Shoes
    Meaning: 
    A smugly virtuous person.
  3. There’s No I in Team
    Meaning: 
    To not work alone, but rather, together with others in order to achieve a certain goal.
  4. Don’t Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth
    Meaning: 
    When you receive a gift from someone, do not be ungrateful.
  5. Like Father Like Son
    Meaning: 
    Resembling one’s parents in terms of appearance or behavior.
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Random Inputs and My New Day begins

  1. Quick and Dirty Meaning: Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well.  No, it wasn’t dirty but it was a bad prank I played for a couple of days having failed last time, I think it has gone awry again and I may be on the brink of losing a good friend. That will be very sad. 
  2. No-Brainer Meaning: Anything that requires minimal brain activity to accomplish. I thought it displays my state of mind today with No brains 🙂 but fortunately it means something else.
  3. Know the Ropes Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. Yes. I have said sorry profusely. I am hoping it will work. 
  4. What Goes Up Must Come Down Meaning: Things that go up must eventually return to the earth due to gravity.  I am positive. 
  5. Don’t Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth Meaning: When you receive a gift from someone, do not be ungrateful. Will have to wait and see how the day unfolds hereafter. 
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Sales Happen when Customer begins to say Yes!

In my sales coaching I would teach – Sales happen when Customer begins to say Yes. After First Yes – Keep saying things that will make him say Yes, Yes, Yes !  The best of purchase managers I train – I train them to say NO , NO . NO. NO – till their Tongues Bleed !  Jay Parkhe

 

“I imagine that yes is the only living thing.”

via Today’s Quote https://ift.tt/2lFUEOD

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Why breakups hurt like hell – via Medium. I subscribe this.

Why Breakups Hurt Like Hell
How to manage the pain and move on

Lesley Alderman, LMSW
Follow
Jun 8
Photo: Portland Press Herald/Getty

1.1K

This is what I remember from my last major breakup: the cracks in the ceiling. I spent a good 10 hours lying on the couch in my East Village apartment staring at the ceiling, following the lines etched in the fading paint, as if they would lead to more answers. I was stunned that I could feel so drained and defeated even though I had initiated the end.

Breakups can be devastating. You can feel like a desperate 3-year-old lost in a grocery store or a hollowed-out wreck. Why? Because we’re human, and humans are designed to pair with other humans. Uncoupling and rejection feel like threats to our existence. We tend to respond with some variation on the themes of despair, confusion, and rage.

“Separation distress elicits panic,” explains Sue Johnson, PhD, an internationally recognized couples therapist and author. “And people don’t know how to make sense of it.”

Making sense of a breakup, though, is vital: it helps you recover. Looking at what happened and why will reduce the sting and help you make a better choice next time.

The pain you are experiencing is understandable, when you recognize that humans are bonding creatures hardwired for relationships. We are designed to grow and learn in the presence of others. Our connections to lovers, friends, and family define us and help us survive. Healthy intimate relationships provide us with a sense of safety and serve as a buffer against the slings and arrows the world hurls our way.

One study, which looked at the power of hand-holding, showed how robust the buffering effect of a partner can be. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin, Madison observed how 16 happily married heterosexual women reacted when they were threatened with an electric shock. The women were hooked up to a brain scanner, which measured their responses to the shock threat. In one scenario, the women held their husband’s hand, in another they held the hand of an anonymous male experimenter, and in the final scenario, they held no hand at all.

When the women held their husband’s hand, the area of the brain that processes emotional and behavioral threats was less activated than when the women held the hand of the stranger or held no hand. The more favorably the women had rated the quality of their marriage, the more powerful the buffering effect of their husband’s hand. It’s no wonder, then, that losing that safeguard can elicit despair.

Being part of a couple can also change your identity. Researchers at Northwestern University examined the effect that breakups have on self-concept. The 2010 study found that becoming single makes you feel less significant. “When the relationship ends, individuals experience not only pain over the loss of the partner, but also changes in their selves,” the study’s authors wrote.

Breakups can also trigger feelings of shame. “We consider any relationship that ends a failure,” explains Katherine Woodward Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Conscious Uncoupling (yes, the book that Gwyneth made famous). “We have this belief that love should last forever.” But in reality, most of us will have two to three relationships in our lifetimes and two to three major breakups.

When you’re the one being left, the sting is particularly sharp. Rejection triggers feelings of humiliation, isolation, and pain. Research by Naomi Eisenberger at UCLA has found that the emotional pain of rejection is coded in the same part of the brain as physical pain. Your rational mind may try to downplay the rejection — “Eh, he wasn’t worth it,” — but it registers in your brain as if you’d been punched in the gut.

The best remedy for the pain that follows a breakup is self-care and self-examination. Before you can recover and make rational sense of the breakup, you first need to attend to your shaken sense of self. Talk about the demise of the relationship with your friends, spend time with people who treat you well, write about your worries. Remind yourself that breakups can be traumatic; you need time to adjust and recover.

At the same time, resist self-destructive urges. Don’t stalk your ex online (this will increase your level of distress), pretend you’re fine (suppressing feelings leads, over the longer term, to greater emotional drama), or try to numb your pain with excessive amounts of alcohol, substances, or sex (never a good plan).

When you’re ready, ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from this relationship?’ A 2017 study looked at the romantic relationships and breakups of 160 young adults. The researchers found that when individuals understood the reasons for their breakup, they suffered less stress and reported more satisfaction in their next relationship than their less clued-in peers.

Resist the all-too-satisfying desire to totally demonize your ex as a whacked out psychopathic narcissistic wreck of a person. “Okay, maybe your ex was 97 percent of the problem,” says Woodward Thomas. “But let’s look at your three percent. That’s where the gold is.” What did you not say or do — or fail to say or do? What warning signs did you ignore? What old pattern were you replaying? Did you give your power away? Women, for instance, have a tendency to bond more quickly. Men, of course, tend to hang back, wary of committing too much, too fast. Even though those tendencies are well known, we may not see ourselves living out such patterns as they’re happening. “Until you see what you are doing, you are bound to do it again,” says Woodward Thomas.

You will start to figure out who might be a better match for you. Bear in mind, people who are emotionally responsive tend to make the best partners. If you’ve never had the pleasure of dating an emotionally responsive human, here’s what they look like: they listen; they can tolerate your emotions, even when they’re negative; they are moved by your feelings; they are not terrified of vulnerability (they may not love it, but at least they don’t belittle it).

In general, people who are available, reliable, and trustworthy also make good partners in romance and life. Research consistently shows that people who have mates with these characteristics feel secure, nurtured, and supported in their relationships.

“Breakups hurt so much because relationships are so important to us,” says Dr. Johnson. But, with some effort, it’s possible to turn the pain into self-gain. Before you get involved in your next relationship, take some time to picture what a good, enduring one looks like to you.

1.1K

WRITTEN BY
Lesley Alderman, LMSW
Writer. Psychotherapist. Yoga enthusiast. Interested in mental health and helping people feel psychologically sound. Brooklyn based. www.lesleyalderman.com

via Why Breakups Hurt Like Hell – Member Feature Stories – Medium

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My Random phrases for the day – Action Plan? May be:)

  1. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt. Starting over again, in a new city this time. Hope is not the Strategy. Doing is.
  2. Know the Ropes 
    Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. This sure is a help, An insider friend’s insights as I do not know the market, the customer yet. 
  3. Dropping Like Flies
    Meaning: To fall down ill or to die in large numbers. Hmmm… don’t know how this will work.
  4. Under Your Nose
    Meaning: Missing something that should be really obvious. I must be meticulous, scrupulous and a perfectionist this time around, taking care of all nitty gritty. 
  5. Quality Time
    Meaning: Spending time with another to strengthen the relationship. Yesss.! Meeting my 2 closest friends of 33 years after a long time is sure a motivation for the upcoming trip tomorrow.  
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4C – Mentoring Technique & Diamonds in the Sky and Darkening of light

As a mentor I sometimes use 4C technique of mentoring. It’s origins are in the 4 C qualities of the purest diamonds. which are known as Color Clarity, cut and Carat Weight and as Mentor I made some notes to self below:

  • Respect your belief that we are all One Man Company first.
  • We are all in our own right, Small budding brands.
  • We have a place in the Sun.
  • We have a place in the skies!
  • Which part of sky belongs to me?
  • Which set of Starry diamonds my brand resembles?
  • Am I going to be the brightest and shiniest one?
  • Or a small simple Solitaire – invaluable Brand?
  • Sometimes though we see a DARKENING OF THE LIGHT around us even in the Bright Sun!
  • This masks all our shine, brightness and all the Dimond like qualities in us.
  • We all have our stars and we are all Celebrities in our own minds and hearts and the Glow and the halo spreading from our idols/ icons sometimes overshadows our own 4 C’s.
  • The more we allow this to happen to us we become Ex-celebrities in our own mind.  Sometimes, Gods and circumstances are against us.
  • We lose our celebrity status, the paradigms shift, the clocks are reset, the Computers and our life is pushed by a Reset button and to Comeback is the toughest challenge we face.
  • I designed my 4 C – Comeback Celebrity’s Crazy Coach program for some of such great souls who were in the sky, searching for their space in the darkening of the light.
  • There is a saying that when light goes down, it may be wise to become invisible.
  • The image is of fresh darkness, the period is just after sunset or a fire has gone out.
  • There is still much activity left over from the light of day, and movements in the outer world are at their most dangerous. 
  • Even the smallest sound, the faintest glow of light, can attract unwanted attention.
  • It is said that when the darkness of stupidity reigns in our human affairs, it is best that we keep your brilliance “hidden under a bushel basket!”
  • Let your thoughts and efforts therefore be quiet, self-contained, and protected, as much as possible, from harmful influences, negative people, unwanted interruptions of Technology which forces us to Read and Write SMS, WhatsApp, eMails etc. and forces us not to listen and makes us speechless – or DUMB !
  • Don’t let yourself be swept along on the current of conventional wisdom when dangerous uncertainties exist.
  • Try not to become too depressed or anxious; such periods will also pass.
  • Just endure it for now and inwardly preserve your self-confidence, while outwardly remaining cooperative and flexible.
  • The time to assert yourself will come.
  • Avoid looking too far ahead if you have not yet achieved your goals – that will only bring regret and longing, which can eat away at your inner strength.
  • So, be cautious and reserved.
  • Control yourself.
  • Do not needlessly stimulate forces of opposition.
  • During dark, unsettled periods, it is best to step gingerly around sleeping dogs.

The climax of the dark ties has arrived, and the darkness has begun to consume even itself. When negative energy is finally spent, people of intelligence and good spirit naturally re-emerge, and gain positions of rightful prominence.

So How does the future look like?

Just Visualize -GRACE AND BEAUTY

Diamonds in the Sky are so Graceful. Diamonds in the Real Life are so precious and Beautiful.

  • Imagine that there is a splashy sunset that bathes the mountains in a soft radiance; the light of a full moon dances on the surface of a rippling river.
  • Grace and beauty adorn the natural world.
  • Grace is neither an all-powerful force, nor is it the essential or fundamental thing.
  • By itself, it is form without content.
  • Grace is moonlight on water, not the sunlight at noon.
  • Yet grace brings artistic expression into the world, and enhances the quality of our lives.
  • Grace brings success in small matters.
  • In the arts, grace arises out of adherence to form: the dancer becoming the choreography of the dance; the musician giving life to a musical score; the painter becoming one with brush and canvas.
  • In human affairs, grace is aligned with mastery of aesthetic and cultural forms honed by time and honored by tradition.
  • When we appreciate graceful forms in human culture, we apprehend the pure beauty of the ideal, of life raised above the struggle for survival.
  • The Possession of grace, like the bearing of a beautiful gift to a wedding, can add stature to those in humble positions.
  • Do Take care to lend grace and dignity to small matters, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence.

Though it should not be confused with true substance, an artistic flair can take one far in this world.

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Random Acts of Kindness

  1. Feeling brave? Give blood
  2. Know someone going through something you’ve been through? Give them advice
  3. Go the day without complaining
  4. Make an effort to get to know someone you don’t usually talk to
  5. Give up your seat on the tube/bus
  6. Lend a friend a book you think they’d like
  7. Visit a friend who’s sick
  8. Start the day right – make breakfast for everyone
  9. Help somebody with a chore they need done!
  10. Feeling inspired? Make a meal for your family or roommates

You may have read some of the Acts before – it is good to repeat the ones we like doing most and those which others like most.

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Spirituality and Detachment

Spirituality consists in meeting life adequately and fully without being overpowered by the opposites.

It must assert its dominion over all illusions—however attractive or powerful.

Without avoiding contact with the different forms of life, a perfect man functions with complete detachment in the midst of intense activity.

——-AVATAR MEHER BABA

[Discourses by Meher Baba, volume-I, p-33 (Copyright ©1967 by Adi K. Irani, King’s Rd., Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India]

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My Random sentences for the day

  1. The river stole the gods. Hmmm…. I think there is truth there. .. Will wait till day end.
  2. Don’t step on the broken glass. – True, especially when you have shown someone the mirror undiplomatically, unapologetically and unconventionally and it has been broken using your HEAD 🙂 
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Phrases of the day.

  • Wouldn’t Harm a Fly 
  • Meaning: 
  • Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle.

 

Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Meaning: 
People tend to associate with others who share similar interests or values.

 

Fight Fire With Fire
Meaning: 
To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.
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I don’t agree with this QOTD – Do you

So what if you are a Warren Buffet,  I have a mind of my own and I choose to differ with you, Sir.  If the following quote was true – there would be no fluctuations in the Stock prices you invest, your stock values would never come down.

Everything that we do by rote, by discipline, by habit surely does a few things. For e.g. My walks burn calories but as the walking distance reduces with my walking speed the calorie burn rate my not reduce as I walk for more time.  Consequently, the weight loss may not be the same.  I have 4 years of daily data on self which proves this point.

But then, who wants to take cudgels with the Richest and Respected man like Mr. Buffet who in his own right is a role model for me who never invests in stocks.  but sometimes, the quotes which are attributed to them and go viral on social media do not rightly capture, the moment when it was said, the context etc.

What do you think? It is difficult to change habits for us as adults and it is also difficult to continue doing every day, the same thing ain’t it?

Yo

u keep doing the same things and you get the same result over again.

—Warren Buffett

 

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Random Phrase I picked today

  1. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: 
    Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end. 

    This came true today.

  2. Under Your Nose
    Meaning: 
    Missing something that should be really obvious.

    This also came true today.

  3. Beating Around the Bush
    Meaning: 
    Someone who is beating around the bush is someone who avoids the main point.

    This also came true today.

  4. Keep On Truckin’
    Meaning: 
    To keep going, pressing forward; never stopping.

    It was the Wish but did not happen

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The Bright And Funny Rock A Poem by Jay

Whose rock is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite happy though.
Full of joy like a vivid rainbow,
I watch him laugh. I cry hello.

He gives his rock a shake,
And laughs until her belly aches.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

The rock is bright, funny and deep,
But he has promises to keep,

After cake and lots of sleep.

Sweet dreams come to him cheap.

He rises from his gentle bed,
With thoughts of kittens in his head,
He eats his jam with lots of bread.
Ready for the day ahead.

With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.

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5 Minute Mentor Mentee Interview.

Whether you are a Mentor or you wish to be a C Suite Mentee The following can provide you a quick way to break the ice in an early mentoring meeting (with thanks to the Independent newspaper).
The answers don’t have to be written down – this is to create conversation. Fundamental to this interview are two main Communication Pillars which make the Mentee understand that :
1. The Mentor will Reveal himself Transparently. Reciprocity is expected/ appreciated. Confidentiality is maintained.
2. The Mentor ‘Provokes’ ! Be Ready for this, Challenge is good, Provocation leads to bringing out the Best in you !

Both mentee and mentor can answer these questions:
• If you weren’t talking to me right now you’d be …
• The catch- phrase/s you use far too often is …
• I wish people would take more notice of …
• The most surprising thing that happened to me was …
• A common misconception (idea) of mine is …
• I am not a politician, but …
• I am good at…
• I am not very good at…
• The best day / night out is …
• The best age to be is …
• In a nutshell, my philosophy is …
• I light up when…
• If I could learn any language I would learn..

via (8) #37 – 5 Minute Mentor.Mentee Interview – C Suite Mentoring. | LinkedIn

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We are all Self-Luminous Stars! Cast Down on Earth. ..My latest Poem.

I loved to watch Stars in a Dark Night as a kid.

I still do,

not that frequently.

Now Home, TV, LAPTOP

screen bind me. 

I always thought

The Sky is 

An Empty Wall.

One day I shall

find my space there

I shall write my name 

on that wall. 

Then I shall be known

As a Self-luminous Star

And a Christian friend

Gave a Bible as Gift.

I read the page

Isaiah 14:12

Passage: 

How you have

fallen from heaven,

morning star,

son of the dawn!

You have been cast down

to the earth,

you who once

laid low the nations!

It gave birth to my first

Poetry at 15 whose Punchline was

A teaching from my First Mentor

Realise Mastery in Servitude. 

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Random phrases like these impact my day positively. I generate them daily. Jay’s Tantra 06

  1. It’s Not Brain Surgery Meaning: A task that’s easy to accomplish, a thing lacking complexity.
  2. Quick and Dirty Meaning: Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well.
  3. Off One’s Base Meaning: A person that is crazy or behaving in idiotic 
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Lying in her long veils i shall let the wind

Lying in her long veils i shall let the wind

In a dream I shall feel lovely outstretched feet black velvety jacket;
kissed the nymph of lascivious satyrs;
the ruffled water-lilies! he sings and the woods sing!

On the blue summer evenings who dreams with.
– like an organ of iron, and that he has seen.
Curves of her back hemmed in by chimaeras.
– dreamy eye towards where the stars are sleeping.

Lying in her long veils, i shall let the wind
into the deep ocean why the blue silence
pierced by an unlucky unfathomable space;

As I was floating down, whose sobs realize incredible floridas ,
clamouring birds seen archipelagos of entranced in pallid flotsam
backwards into sleep, i hung there

by Jay 

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Feedforward by mentees “One Man Company and 11 in 1 Accomplished Mentor” – A compilation.

This article is also available on LInkedin

I sought a Feedforward from my Mentees, Friends, Peers, Ex-Bosses and Mentors about this article.

The responses have been most overwhelming, challenging and quite motivating.

1,Thank you AVM from Bengaluru for this fabulous feedforward:

Quote “Hello

First of all fantastic compilation of the areas which suits very well to what you are doing currently

Below are my rating

  1. Coach – 10 (Can be one of the best coaches for startups and even top companies, especially with the amount of knowledge you possess with the experiences which you have gone through in life is a great insight for a beginner)
  2. Connector – 10 (Always have seen your eagerness to help after we put across new proposal. The efforts you take to connect with the like minded people will really amaze me always. Kudos to that)

  3. Cheerleader(Exec, startup, Biz) – 10 (Always on A game with the business strategies)

  4. Educator – 10 (Beautiful educator especially the way you connect through your stories. I have had some amazing memories)

  5. Ideator – 10 (This always tops my list. The amount of new ideas you generate on the go after knowing the business is fascinating)

  6. Librarian – 9

  7. Superstart and Idol – 10 (Definetely a great idol and role model for startups)

  8. Challenger – 9 (Have seen instances vey often how to challenge team to get the action done after the strategy meeting)

  9. Teammate – 9 (I have not seen this scenario, so would not like to comment on this. I am sure you would be the best teammate)

  10. Brand – 9 (I liked Jay brand. Surely this goes well and i hope your knowledge reaches to many more lives and impact them immensely)

  11. Coach and Mentor – 10 (Put together all the earlier points)” End Quote.


  1. Thank you SS from Mumbai on WhatsApp for 9/10 rating. Have requested you to share ratings on all points so that I shall take steps to improve.
  2. Thank you JJ for your kind comment Quote ” Why write this yourself why not instead make it like. 11 chapters written by 11 different mentees who would focus on that one trait they found most beneficial – in that showing all facets of your mentoring abilities and skill base . Like in style of the “one minute manager”, EndQuote
  3. A great lady Doctor Dr.SP whose service to humanity is unparalleled wrote in all humility Quote “Thanks sir Personally i feel it is too juvenile for me to answer these questions as you are too good to inspire,stimulate, guide and mentor anyone. We are blessed to have someone of your stature to mentor us.” End Quote.
  4. JK wrote on WhatsApp – Quote “Very Good Sir, Its impressive” End Quote.
  5. YS an Ex-colleague wrote in Marathi Quote ” Khup Chhan AAhe! with Two thumbs Up !”End Quote
  6. VSC wrote from Delhi – Quote” Shall read it thoroughly, As you are one good writer and Very Good Motivator “End quote.
  7. Retd Cdr. RP from Delhi wrote Quote “Thank you Sir, Seems to be a very well thought of and detailed description of your 11 Approaches” End Quote.
  8. My old colleague HP from Mumbai/ Kochi wrote: Quote “I perused. The approaches theory is different. You may want to add a bit more of examples in between. I find people respond more to this. Also after going through it thrice, I find it to be too serious, a bit of humour helps. Also you could reduce the repetition of Jay in the whole content as it seems to be too repetitive especially when the paragraphs are not large. You have also ended it very abruptly. You need to phase it out saying Jay is available on ___ etc etc ” End Quote. I shared the 5 Track Thinking behind the Article and what are my plans in the near future with my Peer HP. And I was delighted when he wrote back “Wow. Now I am tongue-tied. Hats off.” Thank you so much HP for kindly reading the article and sharing your insights, and keeping the Secret !
  9. Dr. (Mrs)S.D. from Pune another peer and Executive Development Trainer and Coach of repute said “Sir it is written very nicely but too lengthy I think”. And I mentioned to her that this is just an Outline of the things to follow and she also agreed “WOW. Look forward to”.
  10. JS my ex boss and Mentor and a very Senior Consultant from UAE / Dubai/ Abu Dhabi commented: Quote” It’s good .not sure of (Approach) No. 8 though That’s something your mentees should be writing Also not sure whether you should position yourselves as small brand. Others good. You could add sounding board and philosopher too.”End Quote Thank you JS for spending your valuable time to read and share your valuable comments.
  11. My Senior Cousin, Ex-General from Army, Ex-VC and Health Advisor to a Reputed University in Pune said “Difficult to Comment”. After clarifying the future plans over phone, as my True Connector Mentor; he asked me to write to him on Monday and agreed to introduce to senior University experts on Entrepreneurship, Startup Cells to discuss and carry my plans forward by seeking their collaboration. He agreed to do the honours! WOW! Thank you Dada!
  12. Mr. BM Mumbai/ Bangalore a current President of a Pharma Co, C-Level Executive Coach and Search consultant of the yesteryears said, Quote”How about (i)using pictures (ii)to weave it into a wonderful story… to begin with?” End Quote. I was privileged to speak to him over phone for 10 minutes to give him the context and plan. His response 👍🏼 “I get the contacts better now”. So there is after all a plan and some mystery surrounding the article
  13. DJ from Bangalore – a friend I found via Linkedin.com and an International Insurance Expert said, Quote “Beautiful. It captures the essence of what a mentor should be.” After sharing the context and plan – his reaction – “WOW! Look forward to”. Thank you DJ for your time and comments.
  14. My last Pro-Bono Mentee who went on a Fast track 55 day gruelling Coaching/Mentoring drive with me sent her scorecard:   Quote “The score to all questions (except 8 and 9) is 8. (about approach No. 8 can’t say for the other mentees. Approach No. 9 (rating is) 6”
  15. Feedforward by SS
    Chief Revenue Officer / Chief Operating Officer / P&L Head- Media, Health Care, Logistics & Supply Chain and Education
    “Mr Parkhe is a wonderful person. He has mentored many people (including myself) who have benefitted immensely by his guidance. Always avaialable to give superb advise when your stuck or in a dilemma. I know of many people who have achieved stupendous success in their lives and careers through Mr Parkhe’s structured and meticulous mentoring. He’s a super coach !”
  16.  By SS a Director

    “Hi sir really a wonderful write up nice narratioN”

    17 By BSK
    Managing Partner at  Text & Print
    “Jay it was intEresting reading your work and business profile we are into sportswear manufacturing specially Football.”

    18.By BSM
    Global C Level Retained Executive Search| Technology & Functional Leadership Hiring | Technology Entrepreneur
    “Great article and an awesome write-up.”

    19 By GK
    Army Veteran experienced in Telecom, Security Management, Training, Administration, Procurement & Logistics
    “Great synopsis….do connect , we manufacture footwear”

    20. By JRI
    Author
    “Jay is what he says he is, eleven rolled into one. Man of kindness and determination. He had a bit of health problem and the way he came back and started his daily walk one should admire. Kindness I find in him and he stands by what he says to all. I find consultants reluctant to direct another to probable end user, is not the case with Jay. There is a plentifulness in this world that he is ready to share with. Good man to follow. Happy he put it in 11 challenges that others face that he can happily resolve. “

    21.By AG
    Vice President, Regional Business Unit Brakes Components, Asia-Pacific – CHINA

    “Very thoughtfully evaluated and described, variety of roles a mentor has to play. Apart from most important and trustful bond between mentor and mentee, mentor also plays vital role to harness technical, functional emotional, social competence to pursue own goals with determination. This all a experienced Dhananjay can well and truly deliver !! All the best”

    22. DG- DELHI

    “HI Sir i read it. Difficult for me to comment. People are multi-dimensional beings. I can’t conceptualise ppl by categorising their traits.
    If i have to talk about someone i will do it in story form talking about how they experience life n see the world n how different the perspective is. HAPPY TO SERVE. “

    23. RS -PUNE – EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR – Top Law Firm and Retired DGP- ED.

    “Excellent write up. Summarises your capabilities pretty well. Keep Going.”

    24 By SG
    Director (Skill Education) PUNE
    “Simply I can see , he is the perfect idol for any entrepreneur. All roles with detailed descriptions is truly Amazing. I personally vouch for his strategic inputs on challenges, funnelling our difficulties, make to understand us on focus of business, conceptual thinking , how to break the glass ceiling , I can give more then 10 marks for each role if it is in my hands”

    Most appreciated SG. You are very kind – Jay

    25.Ms. MK – Mumbai
    Cluster Manager
    “DP Sir as we all call him has been a wonderful guide,coach and a mentor to many of us who have been fortunate to work with him.One person who is always ready to embrace change, learn and apply new things and technically updated.These 11 points are just a synopsis of a bigger personality that he is.”

    26. By PSB

    Chairman of a leading NGO in Karnataka wrote

    Quote”

    Thanks for considering myself to rate your excellency….
    On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being maximum, i would rate yourself at 9.25 over all…
    The reasons for 9.25 being:
    1. Your are creative thinker
    2. Critical thinker
    3. Motivational personality
    4. creates catalyst of mentor development
    5. impulsive nature
    6. Go an extra mile to ensure team grows and achieves the goal
    7. Do excellent background analysis
    8. Resource partner
    The reasons for 0.75 being:
    1. May need some time to analyze Students with their past history
    and maybe through some physiological tests or studies on students which will help you to analyse them better and can groom based on their strength
    2. There is always scope for growth and this 0.75 can help you to build that.
    I feel for our Trust, your mentorship is just too proficient and adroit caliber and we are blessed to have you.”End Quote

In all I received the Ratings from over 100 of my recent mentee.. i wait till 30th April to receive all Feedforward and Scorecard and begin tabulating final scores for my personal improvement and development gap analysis. Meanwhile, There are few bloggers who began following me on www.parkhe.com and were reciprocated on their blogs

Apart from the 250+ personal messages, Smileys, Thumbs Ups, Hi-Fives from busy friends and Mentees and the Likes on the Linkedin Page – these Ladies and Gentlemen who wrote their comments Made my day. Sometimes – even a mentor needs to re-channelise his inward focus and negative energy – OUTWARD and Re-Create one’s own Brand Magic ! Thank you all for your kindness and your valuable time. Most appreciated.

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Dilemmas – What do I do

We all are at crossroads in our life sometimes where there are two routes, options available to us and we have a dilemma to choose the right or left path and come to a decision.

I depend on Facts.  But decision making sometimes is under pressure.  Sometimes we have to make decision without full assessment/ availability of facts. Other times it becomes difficult as there is no time to Assess, Analyse, Deploy, Choose.  Sometimes the options may not be clear.

I look up to my holy books Ramayan, Geeta and at times to a gifted Bible for answers.  Close my eyes, pray to God and open a book and keep my finger randomly on a verse and read.

This morning I read

2 Samuel 7:19

Passage: 

And as if this were not enough in your sight,

Sovereign LORD,

you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant –

and this decree,

Sovereign LORD,

is for a human being!

Then with my own word associations, perceptions, knowledge about the time, context of the verse I create a linkage – a forced association of words to my situation and find an answer. Usually, the dilemma vanishes.  The holy books become my temporary mentors and show me the path.

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Interesting phrases.

  1. Jack of All Trades Master of NoneMeaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them.
  2. On Cloud NineMeaning: Having strong feelings of happiness or satisfaction. 
  3. Scot-freeMeaning: Getting away freely from custody, punishment, or any type of risky situation.
  4. Fish Out Of WaterMeaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.
  5. I Smell a RatMeaning: A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry.
  6. Drawing a BlankMeaning: Failing to recall a memory. Unable to remember something.
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Random Musings: Sometimes good for fun:). Jay’s Tantra -4 for Problem Solving

Just some random thoughts that crossed my mind, some with reason, some without reason. I like Dr. Edward De Bono and his Lateral Thinking techniques.  I especially like the Random Object technique of attribute listing.

Here I use these one-liners as Random Input sentences and relate them to a Problem with a Problem-solving objective in mind. Worth a try.

It did help me.

  1. She did not cheat on the test, for it was not the right thing to do.
  2. Wednesday is hump day, but has anyone asked the camel if he’s happy about it?
  3. I really want to go to work, but I am too sick to drive.
  4. I would have gotten the promotion, but my attendance wasn’t good enough.
  5. Yeah, I think it’s a good environment for learning English.
  6. What was the person thinking when they discovered cow’s milk was fine for human consumption… and why did they do it in the first place!?
  7. If the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy had babies would they take your teeth and leave chocolate for you?
  8. I often see the time 11:11 or 12:34 on clocks.
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Totally sexy about the dream

Random Poetry

Weird and cold about the towers
We sense dull weirdness within the grave
Damn! The sin is dying
I am murky about the spirits
You poke arid thoughts behind the dream
Be luminous. The fun was hard

Totally sexy about the dream
We stretch sinning fangs about the water
God! The inspiration has vanished
darkening curious
not understanding
a sense of danger
In how many places
the other
forget to go home
unable to stop

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Inappropriate, Fell short. Random input phrases to Provoke Thoughts

  1. Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees
    Meaning: 
    Suggests that money is a resource that must be earned and is not one that’s easily acquired.

    Expecting Acts of Kindness? Expecting delivery on a platter without doing any Efforts?  Well. Learn to create many many sources of generating passive income. Some may actually work and then the saying can come true. 

  2. Hit Below The Belt
    Meaning: 
    A boxing term. Also often used to refer to inappropriate words, or comments that are too personal.

    Risk and Crisis Management.

  3. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: 
    Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end.

    It is OK. It is still a development gap. We lack FINISHIATIVE in the Race that we run and prepare to run again. Not all are able to FINISH the tasks on time all the time. So don’t get disheartened. Wake up . Prepare, Rise and begin again !

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Random Sentences, Musings, Thoughts, some Rant too:). Have a Great weekend

  1. Has it happened to you? Someone borrowed a rare book, an Autographed book in your prized possession which you loved reading several times when you had time and one day someone came and borrowed it – never to return. She borrowed the book from me few months ago which I bought on eBay and the seller had to find with deep search and told me that what I shall get is an outdated version, the pages are discolored and there will be a stamp of the authenticity that a library had discarded this book and it is out of print and there does not seem to be a possibility of it being reprinted.  I had loved this while doing my Management course and it was a great tool for me when I taught MBA students for 15 years. Then one day someone came over.  I felt she should read it. I said, please read and return and hasn’t yet returned it and the sad thing is I know she has not even read it once.  What feelings it generates in you?
  2. Last Friday in three week’s time I saw a spotted striped blue worm shake hands with a legless lizard. It has begun to rain in Bangalore and the impact of the Cyclone in Mangalore coastal area has made the climate cool.  Sometimes, on my long walks I sit in the public garden chair and get to see nature again. Now the sentence above when you read it brings up some emotions and then the rational mind thinks = Oh! but a lizard has only 2 legs and how can it possibly shake hands?  True. I made it up but isn’t it a thought to be mentally/ with your heart be able to shake that imaginary hand or see a blind person see you?  Does make me love nature, does bring out creativity and inspiration for humanity with the Right side of the brain which I call as my Heart – My true North Star.  How about you?
  3. My Mum tried to be cool by saying that she likes all the same things that I do. She was a teacher and in later life devoted herself to social work and took Deeksha in RamKrishna Mission to be a Monk. Worked till end of her life with tribal girls of North East who were sent to the school and hostel she was incharge of by parents who felt the girl child’s life in danger due to militancy.  It took me some time for me to understand the significance of her words.  She asked me to learn skills. She said skills never go away. I learned to type, playing a flute, drawing, painting, stitching, repairing, reading, writing, speaking as a Speaker, Teaching and realised the significance of her words – ALL THE SAME THINGS I DO.  The good skills I learn the Habits I form.  Profound. Makes me nostalgic. 
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What will the day be like – Random Phrases predict :)

I like to generate these random phrases and compare their attributions at the End of the day and usually they come correct.

Let’s see what’s in store for me today.

  1. Go For Broke
    Meaning: To risk it all, even if it means losing everything. To go all out.   If the message is about achieving 10000 likes in 58 days and thanking the BFFFs with deep sense of gratitude. I am all for it. 
  2. In a Pickle
    Meaning: Being in a difficult predicament; a mess; an undesirable situation.  Yes. it is true and getting out is messy. Staying in is messier.  Feels like a Camel whose owner wants to make him piss inside the tent but keep his Head out so that owner’s privacy is protected 🙂 
  3. Up In Arms
    Meaning: Angry; being roused to the point that you are ready to fight. Hmmm.. there is no fight left in me any more. I would rather honorably and peacefully walk aaway from UNCERTAINTY and SITUATIONS that bother me. 
  4. Put a Sock In It
    Meaning: Asking someone to be quiet or to shut up. No. That’s not Me. I would rather talk it over to a conclusion. 
  5. Give a Man a Fish
    Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. Yes. fully agree. Handholding by the mentor can not become Mentor’s tasks – A mentor needs to find a way to Wean to Win so the Mentees WTW Win The World.  
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Random Input Generator

To brainstorm and bring to the Boil inside the potboiler I generate some Random Inputs like this one:

The memory we used to share is no longer coherent.

I generated some thoughts to go with this Input.

It is a past- A memory.

Treat it like a ‘Baggage’ you do not wish to carry forward all your life.

Leave it behind.

It must be painful to both.

You both do not wish to share anymore.

Think of that memory as being incoherent.

Forget it. It is not easy, I know, give it your best shot.

Am I taking a potshot at your situation?

NO!! far from it.

The day both of you feel it is incoherent – just bury the memory. Don’t bring it back like the HeadMaster DumbleDore 🙂 .

Enjoy life full. Life is to live well and must be enjoyed in full.

Let me know what you think about this and do you wish to read more Random Input Generated?

Here are some for your to think about?

  1. Remember that friend you haven’t seen for ages? Give them a call
  2. Apologise to someone you may have hurt
  3. Purchase ethical goods
  4. Have lunch with a homeless person
  5. Save your family some time and buy their groceries
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Random Phrases this morning

Sometimes these random phrases in the morning give me an indication of how the day will progress. I am a believer in “Things Average out” concept and they generally do. Some days are like a Dog’s day when nothing goes wrong and some when nothing does.

  1. Fight Fire With Fire
    Meaning: 
    To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.
  2. Poke Fun At
    Meaning: 
    Making fun of something or someone; ridicule.
  3. Keep Your Eyes Peeled
    Meaning: 
    To be watchful; paying careful attention to something.
  4. Hands Down
    Meaning: 
    Anything that’s easy or has no difficulty; something that is a certainty
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Smart phrases – Revisited and Rephrased on a mad mad day…

It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluids.

Don’t cry over spilled milk

The stylus is more potent than the dirk.

The pen is more powerful than the sword.

All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

Those who bask in reflected glory with no self illuminations masquerade as celebrities

All that glitters isn’t gold.

Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.

Dead men don’t talk.

Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.  I like this the most 🙂

People who live in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones.

Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will remain sempiternally innocuous.

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

 

#Life #Poetry # Proverbs, #Madness #frenemy #enemy #Bad day #Revisit #Rephrase #Creativity #Mentoring #Dementor

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Jay Parkhe’s C.A.L.M. Approach to Mentoring and Greased Lightening

One of the Sub-Approaches within his Professional Mentoring Practice Jay Parkhe uses is named by him as CALM – Concentrated, Accelerated, Learning Methods.  There is nothing calm about it.  And the usual Perceptive feedback/ Feedforward he received form his Direct reports 22 years ago and his latest Mentees is no Different.  “Jay, you are too fast paced for us”.  Yes, Jay is a man in a hurry and in the Give mode, he likes to share all that he have – no holds barred to every Coached / Mentee.  Let me take a phrase that comes to my mind. It is called Greased Lightning”  Its  Meaning is :  Simply “Very fast or quick.”and the Concentration has different Learning connotation – Acceleration comes from this word called Greased Lightning and that defines Jay’s style of mentoring.

Jay derives motivation from Serena Williams quote, “At my age, I see the finish line. And, when you see the finish line, you don’t slow down. You Speed up.”

The Concentrated Learning Method is rather simple.  I learnt it from a Volunteer lady who came to teach children some 12 years ago to a school TNT was funding called ‘Parikrma Foundation”.  What I learnt from her ( sorry, I forgot her name – my senior moments 🙂 ) but the learning was precious.

She said she is teaching Kindergarten school children 4 things:  ” READ, WRITE, LISTEN and SPEAK”.

I used this for Adult learning, coaching, mentoring as a Tool/ technique and it is a fiercely KickAss Mentor training, as it was my belief that Adults already are Learned people and they would soon understand.  Only I brought in the Technology perspective here and that changed the Mentee, coached or my Direct reports perceptions totally and invoked the “too fast paced”comment.  Let me explain. How does Reading, Writing, Listening, Speaking happen in a MNC Corporate environment?  What are the tools  and techniques and Technology at the command of Senior Executives and C-Level Executives. Tremendous. The back room IT solutions provider team makes more and more user friendly softwares and solutions to help the often IT illiterate C-Level Executive or the aspirant for those positions.  Being a FAST TRACK recruiter I found the MBAs, Freshers from B school more literate and able to adopt the technology that seniors.

So what does this Method entail.  I ask Coachee/ Mentees

Read : Reading habits, Reading times, Any habits of note taking, Best times of undisturbed reading, Type of reading – fiction/ non-fiction, poetry etc. Then I ask about reading SMS, WhatsApp, SnapChat, Facebook Posts, Linkedin Posts and Influencer articles, Kindle e-books etc. I also focus on their email reading habits – the average time spent, the total time taken to read and respond to mails and electronic message.  Millennials are faster, sharper, adopt technology well and use smartphone, ipads, tablets, laptops well.  Then I test them on their Reading skill with Best and worst readability short and long messages and mails. Sometimes flooding them with important and unimportant messages.

What I notice or observe just by observing is : Short or longer attention span, What they like to read and from whom.  The time of the day when they are most or least receptive and also gauge their response time and setting of priorities. Many Crack, Some give feedforward – They Win.  Some Keep quiet but stop responding – They lose.

Sometimes I also ask them to read aloud their emails just to see their own reactions to some of the words they use in their messages/ mails.  It is wonderful and makes people realise where they can get better and still better.  It helps.

Write:  I sometimes provoke and test them on their short and long hand messages.  Their precis writing skills, the use of jargons, the cliche’s and the slang, abbreviations, abusive words marked with S@#4 or F#$% etc. etc. – Feedforward again works when they are requested to Read aloud the SHORT and long messages and email to gauge the impact this will have on the receivers of the messages.  I also introduce here some of the latest technology, tools, browser extensions, abstract writers, phrase generators etc. and some CRM tools like RocketBolt, Boomerang, Mailtrack and Grammarly etc.  These help me to gauge their Diction, vocabulary and refine their language depending upon their stage to prepare for the C-Level positions.  For Entrepreneurs and business people it becomes tortuous but if they are chasing a big dream and ( I do not coach or mentor anyone who does not have a big dream any way)  wish to be a Corporate some day or a Unicorn = they know what they are lacking.  I sometime comfort them by saying that you recruit the best of Executive Assistant with a flair for official writing, business writing, Report writing, Pitch writing, Appraisal feedback writing etc.  All of this is usually taken well and people know their areas where they have to get better. 

Listen:  This works both ways. Sometimes, as Coach / Mentor I monopolise the talk time and make the coachee/ Mentee fret and fume for not getting a chance to speak.  I also tell them that interruptions are bad as they come in the way of a brainwave/ thought process of the speaker.  It irritates them like hell. I then begin to count their number of interruptions and point them to improve. Sometimes, I just go quiet and respond only in monosyllables or do not respond to many messages – but write one curt, short or long mail covering all important points from my perspective ignoring deliberately what is important from Mentee’s point of view.  This is to make them understand that the listener also need Accuracy, Brevity and clarity just as the written communicator needs. Long periods of quiet can hurt both ways and if the Coacheee/ mentee begins to go into quietude/ silence or starts cursing under the breath – these are tell-tale signs that the Coaching may not last longer as they have begun to crack.  Some mentees actually get very angry at these provocative, challenging but SILENT interventions and CRACK ! 

Speak: This one is the most interesting part.  Many people choose Mixed – Khichdi ( use of colloquial, ethnic terms) when the listener has no clue, no context, no perspective and they struggle to find meaning into what is being said.  Some feel most comfortable using local language phrases, idioms, cliche’s which they are not so adept at translating and expect the listener to be the know all.  Some take offence being asked to repeat as they mumble or speak their local language mumbo-jumbo which often sound Greek and Roman to listener.  Some speakers are so philosophical that they HAVE to quote the likes of Plato, Aristotle or bring in some Great Poet like Rumi into their conversations that the listener struggles with the meanings all the time. 

For the Slang users I tell them to search Google for Mentor Lyrics in the most explicit language and practice.  They give up after some time saying it is so GROSS ! 🙂

Some are fluent, some speak at 50 w p m and beat Stephen Hawkins while others beat the Ferrari’s and speak 160+ words per minute.  It takes an effort to discipline them and make them audience focused, audience centric and understand those for whom they are speaking.

In all, it is an enjoyable CALM learning technique.

Next I follow up only with the C-Level is : Tell, Sell, Inform, Consult, Advice or Ask – difference in the communication.

For project managers the RACI or RASCI are better  examples of communication and many a times it is the best technique to use with Startups too.

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What a Day! Random inputs of the Day.

  1. Shot In the Dark
    Meaning: 
    An attempt that has little chance for success. It actually worked.

    (Out of the box idea seemingly is the RIGHT solution today)

  2. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted
    Meaning: 
    It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money.

    (Some live in false pretenses and show off, although paradigms shifted, Reset pressed.

  3. Barking Up The Wrong Tree
    Meaning: 
    To make a wrong assumption about something.

    (Mean- Meaning making machine, lesson of Dissociation on my NLP course ! What a day !)

  4. Mouth-watering
    Meaning: 
    Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.

    (Some Quirky, wacky, tacky, blasphemous, hillarious, original ideas flowed and made the day – very futuristic.  Best to discuss ideas than people and things)

  5. Quick and Dirty
    Meaning: 
    Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well.

    (The sword dangles on relationships, the risks do not go away as communication is onesided as other side is speaking with pursed lips ( suppressed pain and emotions)

  6. Cup Of Joe
    Meaning: 
    A cup of joe is an American nickname for a cup of coffee.

    (Hmmm… and again! I forgot to drink my morning tea before the walk 🙂 )

  7. Keep Your Shirt On
    Meaning: 
    Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.

    (Silence, Quietude like solitude can be counterproductive among friends)

  8. It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be
    Meaning: 
    Failing to meet expectations; not being as good as people say.

    (To expect is BAD – there is no Good in Expectations, lessons learnt, experience gained).

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Random Phrases of the day and how days pan out.

  1. You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover
    Meaning: Don’t judge someone or something only by the outward appearance. They can be fooling. How long we allow ourselves to be fooled is up to us REALLY  
  2. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted
    Meaning: 
    It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money. Hmmm…
  3. Mountain Out of a Molehill
    Meaning: One who escalates small things and turns them into big problems. Quite true. We meet complaining, whining people who avoid ownership, responsibility taking and attribute failures others rather than owning up mistakes. 
  4. Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed
    Meaning: Someone who isn’t witty or sharp, but rather, they are ignorant, unintelligent, or senseless. Some people are so phony intellectuals who parrotise, write dictated mails by others, and when confronted just run away.
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Contrasting phrases generated today

  1. Jaws of Life
    Meaning:
    Usually this references a tool used by rescuers when they pry or cut open a car to save the occupant.

    This reminds me of the time when I had seen the worst of Rail and Road accidents and as RSS workers we were busy overnight to help the victims as rescuers.  Very bad memories are evoked with this phrase.  Why does it appear today?!  I don’t know. I am a skeptic so I won’t believe in this phrase like Billi raasta kaat gayi or the cat crossed my path so it is bad omen – but I would keep looking for some time – like Tony Robbins once explained in his show ‘what else could it mean?’  Sometimes we have to give in to our gut feelings, or inner voice which tells us to beware.  In any case – Jaws of Life are not bad per se,  They are there to help. They are a Tool for the Rescuers and they cut open the car, rail, truck wherever one is stuck and it is a Life Saving thing.  I read somewhere – We Manage Things, and We Lead People.  Reminds me of our leader who led the Rescue party and worked tirelessly to help all victims that we could save.

  2. Burst Your Bubble
    Meaning: 
    To ruin someone’s happy moment.

    I just with that such a day never occurs in my life when I have to ruin someone’s happy moment.  At workplace, I have fired people for non=performance, misdemeanor, fraud or other crimes and things listed as “Sackable Offences” which were the unwritten and written code Red mix in the corporates. As Disciplinary and Ethics Committee Chair it would mean taking tough, harsh decisions.  But playing spoilsport – ruining someone’s happy moment was not one of them. Remotely, may be.

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How can I be your friend?

Humming Bird

I am Cattle Class
I tended Cows and buffaloes
and cleaned holy shit
called Gobar – which was
Holier than thou,
they said.

In my childhood
they had
No fancy Fiberal
Hypocrite terms like
Child Labour or
Exploitation of poor.

I still held my Head high
against the Esteemed few
by being a KickAss Rebel

The Wise ones told me
to keep quiet and
Be satisfied and
Find Dignity in labour.

I am the pendulum moving
Right of Centre sometimes and
Center of Center Eccentric next.
They labelled me Neo-Convert.

So I’m can’t in
the same category
as your Left of Center friends.

I created a Class of my own
The Holy Cow-Shit Class.

How can such a Sanskaari
Be friends with
the Sickulars and
Fiberals.

The pseudo-rebels
who never tasted
Poverty or hardships

The brainwashed
Free Sex drug addicts
seducers and sedition
Artists.

the Commie and
Naxal, the JNU Types
No. No Way!
With times my Commie friends
Have Changed

They are the Closeted Neo-Rich
The ghost Liasion agents
of the powers that be and
the Puppeteers who
bankroll them
To keep up a Rebel front.

You may name me a Fiend,
That’s OKay!
But never a Friend.

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Sugar – Honey – Iced – Tea … Guess what it means.:) It was a crazy morning

  • When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

  • The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

  • The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.

  • If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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GOOD, Bad and ugly phrases of the day

  1. Fish Out Of WaterMeaning: Someone being in a situation that they are unfamiliar or unsuited for.
  2. Wild Goose ChaseMeaning: Futilely pursuing something that will never be attainable.
  3. Cut The MustardMeaning: To cut the mustard is to meet a required standard, or to meet expectations.
  4. Long In The ToothMeaning: Old in age. Mainly used when referring to people or horses.
  5. A Dime a DozenMeaning: Something that is extremely common.
  6. Throw In the TowelMeaning: Giving up; to surrender.
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Age Difference – Interesting article – bit explicit language so sharing link.

via Age difference doesn’t always matter – Jessica Wildfire – Medium

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Selfishness, Selflessness and Personal Ego

Selfishness and selflessness are two phases of the life of the personal ego, and these two phases are continuous with each other.

Selfishness arises when all the desires are centred around the narrow individuality. Selflessness arises when this crude organisation of desires suffers disintegration and there is a general dispersing of desires with the result that they cover a much wider sphere.

Selfishness is the narrowing down of interests to a limited field; selflessness is the extension of interests over a wide field.

To put it paradoxically, selfishness is a restricted form of selflessness, and selflessness is the drawing out of selfishness into a wide sphere of activity.

——-AVATAR MEHER BABA

[Discourses by Meher Baba, volume-I, p-29-30 (Copyright ©1967 by Adi K. Irani, King’s Rd., Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India)]

A chance encounter in a fertilizer dealer shop reminds me of this caption always.  I met a group of Guntotting Ex Dacoits who had spent 7 years in Open Jail as punishment and surrendered in front of Late Shri JayPrakash Narayan.

This Ex Dacoit was a Farmer and political leader now.  When introduced as the sales person who was selling his favorite brand of fertilizer – He had asked in HINDI whther “Ye Saheb swarthee hain ya parmarthee”. A Deep question about whether this person I am being introduced is Selfish or Selfless?  Even an Ex Convict chooses to know this beforehand.  Why I wondered?

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All brilliant about the ground

Quite comely above the dream
You summon arid idiots in the bullshit
Alack! The passion is born
Strange and comely over the land
We prod murky eruptions in the shadows
Alass! The sin was good


All brilliant about the ground


We condone splintering men against the water
Be watchful. The stink was hard
backlit grieving
never meeting
the next life waiting
Down what streets
the face in your mirror
look for love
while the world changed

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And Some Random Phrases are so Relevant…

  1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place
    Meaning: 
    Being faced with two difficult choices.

    Like to be or not to be.  Or to do or not to do. This or that or that or this?  The mind becomes so fickle that we just sit on the horns of the dilemma and think there are more than two options still open to us and we are unable to make up our mind is still wandering and undulating between the baggage and Bagasse’ (sugarcane remains after we suck out the juice) of the PAST and thinking we are so FUTURISTIC and What great Dreams we have that what I have right now is the FOCUS ! How wrong we are !

  2. In the Red
    Meaning: 
    Losing money. Being in debt

    it is a very bad situation to be in. I was there too. Nearly bankrupt and I decided that I shall pay off every one by selling everything I have.  The trick was to Take a Loan after selling every thing and paying off small creditors in full and negotiating with large debtors payment terms – delayed dates etc.  Having One large bank or banker always helps.  Being an ex banker I know how bankers dread Bad Debts and NPAs.  They would go out of their way to help and assist – not all, but some.  Those some actually become our Rescuers. I tried to live a life debt free and God has been kind – he gives me enough to sustain and I demand no more.

  3. Right Out of the Gate
    Meaning: 
    Right from the beginning; to do something from the start.

    Startpreneurs must learn this lesson about Right out of the gate.  And that one lesson is if the plinth of your business is laid on the dishonesty, poor value system and no Conscience – you will not last long. That first stone in the plinth of your business will be your epitaph and knowing what you are doing Jay Parkhe may stop mentoring you ASAP ! . I do believe that start ups , SMEs have to break rules sometimes. They have to keep their principles aside and in Indian conditions have to bribe officials, purchase managers in large corporates sometimes but allowed to go on for long periods this can also severely hurt their future business prospects.