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The way we in self-speak can help us Self-Develop into a Speaker or a Failure

 

Some BS Facts About Self-Development

Everyone Thinks Are True

 

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For example, The way we in self-speak can help us Self-Develop into a Speaker or a Failure

  • Self-Speech plays a huge role in our self-image.
  • Self-image plays a huge role in our self-confidence.
  • Self-confidence plays a huge role in our ability to succeed in the various endeavours we decide to pursue in our life.

The way we self-speak can help Self-Development into a Speaker or a Failure!While some may say that this is BS !  How can Self-Development happen with Self-Speak or Self-Speech?

There is a real story about an all-star baseball player, who once decided to visit a prison to inspire inmates to self-develop themselves.  He shared a story of his father who always encouraged him as a little boy.  His dad always encouraged him by saying, “son, if you keep on hitting the ball like that, you’ll end up in the Biggest League one day.”  Sure enough, he ended up as an all-star in the Biggest Baseball League.

A prisoner stood up and said, “hey, my dad told me said somewhat similar when I was a kid. Every time I did something my dad disliked, he looked at me and said, ‘son, if you keep on mis-behaving like this, you’ll end up in prison one day. Sure enough, I ended up in prison.”

90% of male prisoners were maltreated as dirt by own parents as little kids. They  were spoken to like they were prisoners WAY before they ended up in prisons.  Now, don’t come to conclusion that our parents determine the future for us in advance.  We have ability to respond to our circumstances, and we choose. it would help immensely and much easier if we had solid foundation.

The take-away from the story is simple: the way we SPEAK to ourselves plays a massive role in the way we PERCEIVE us. The way we perceive ourselves plays a massive role in how CONFIDENT we are. Our self-confidence determines whether we decide to take on challenges and pursue success in the face of adversity, or whether we decide to live below our highest potential. Do not allow our self to do this.

  • Encourage ourselves. Love ourselves.
  • We cannot expect things to change in our life unless we change.
  • For things to change. we must change.
  • Our self-speak plays a huge role in our self-image.
  • Our self-image plays a huge role in our self-confidence.
  • Our self-confidence plays a huge role in our ability to succeed in the various endeavours you decide to pursue in our life.

 

By Dhananjay Parkhe

 

 

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Wednesday- RAK Movement – Random Acts of Kindness

  1. Surprise your parents with flowers
  2. Go the day without complaining
  3. Share something interesting you’ve learnt today
  4. Taking public transport? Offer your seat to someone else
  5. Smile at a stranger
  6. Bake something for your family/friends
  7. It’s hard to stay connected – reach out to an elderly person you know
  8. Give up your seat on the tube/bus
  9. We rarely listen to others – ask someone about their day
  10. Put your phone down and have a conversation with a friend

Re-Learning to be a Professional Speaker

My blogpost on Blogger 

https://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1484394997233291896&pli=1#editor/target=post;postID=7677215142387448832;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=0;src=postname

From My fav Newsletter – Ladders. Starbucks Hacks- very interesting.

LIFE

13 Starbucks hacks you need to know

Admit it — you’re low-key obsessed with Starbucks. Starbucks is not just a restaurant — it’s a lifestyle. We wait year round for the infamous PSL (being labeled “basic,” be damned), know it’s time for Christmas when they start serving Gingerbread Lattes from Christmas cups, and look forward to summer with fruity, refreshing, and Insta-worthy iced teas.

But it can be a pretty expensive obsession to have! With typical menu drinks costing about $3-$7, plus whatever add-ins you prefer, it can add up (especially if it’s a daily occurence!). However — it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s worth looking into how to get more bang for our (Star)buck, and how many options the trusty coffee chain and cafe really can offer us. Read on for the hacks that will save you time, money, and calories at Starbucks.

1. Don’t limit yourself to what’s on the menu

In fact, the most expert Starbucks-frequenters rarely order off the menu, to get their favorite drinks and to save money! Check out the secret menu (yes, it really does exist!) or try these secret menu drink concoctions that are all $3, and never pay $5 for a coffee again! If you prefer lattes, order the cafe misto, which tastes the same (half coffee, half milk), but is significantly cheaper (and will save you calories!). More of a tea drinker? A chai latte misto is half steamed milk and half brewed chai tea, saving you money and sugar (you can also just order a hot chai tea with steamed milk if the terminology weirds you out, and save about $2).

2. Make your own drinks for a cheaper price

Iced lattes are one of the most satisfying and refreshing drinks, but can get pricey, especially if you prefer them in Venti size instead of the Tall (don’t we all on Monday mornings?). Instead of ordering a latte, order a triple espresso over ice, in a Venti cup (with room for milk), and then go to the condiments area to fill up your coffee with milk, which makes an iced latte, but for a fraction of the cost. If you prefer your lattes hot, you can also order a Tall coffee with steamed milk (still cheaper than a latte!), or a Tall hot coffee in a Grande cup, and fill up on the milk at the condiments station — a Grande latte for the price of a Tall coffee!

3. Never pay full price for two drinks during the same trip, again

Spend a lot of workdays or meetings at Starbucks where you stay for hours and get multiple drinks? Or maybe just one cup of coffee for you doesn’t cut it? Anytime throughout the day (and in any size — Tall, Grande, or Venti), refill your cup with brewed coffee or tea for just 5o cents. Just know that “refills” only count as iced or hot coffee and iced or hot tea (but remember the tricks above to turn it into a latte!). Also an insider tip: you can get a 50 cent refill with coffee or tea, even if your original drink was not just brewed coffee or tea. So feel free to fill up on a Pumpkin Spice Latte and get a 50 cent extra pick-me-up of tea before you leave!

4. Bring your own cup

Not only will you be saving the planet, one coffee cup and plastic straw at a time, but you’ll also save 10 cents on your drink whenever you bring your own tumbler, cup, or mug. We love using an ever-so-chic mason jar with a lid, or — funny you should mention it — Starbucks has amazing reusable cups of their own. We love this one, this one, and this one.

5. Sign up for Rewards

Normally I detest rewards programs at restaurants and stores — it’s just more spam emails and I probably spend more money than I save (it’s hard to resist a 30% sale or free pastry with purchase of drink). But at Starbucks, it is a must (and with no cons)! First of all, it’s free to sign up (did that convince you enough?), and besides just having a ton of perks for being a reward member (hello, free birthday drink!), you also earn points for a number of things, like purchasing anything in store and certain Starbucks items in grocery stores, that can be used for free food and drinks. Did we mention that it’s free?

6. Don’t buy a water bottle!

Never pay $3 for the plastic water bottle in the Starbucks fridge; just ask for a Venti iced water! You don’t have to worry about the water not being clean — Starbucks triple-filters their water and ice, so you know it’s as clean as possible and you could save some serious money. For an environmentally friendly option, you can also bring your own reusable bottle and ask Starbucks to fill it with water and ice, for free.

7. Order a French Press Pot of coffee

Going with friends or know you’ll want a few cups during your day at Starbucks? Order a French Press pot of coffee instead of individual cups. Each pot serves a few cups of coffee, but will be cheaper than buying each cup individually. Enjoy a pot with your friends, or get a serious caffeine buzz on your own (sometimes, we just need it!).

8. Get the most out of your iced drink

If you’re getting an iced tea, ask for “no water.” Iced teas are typically watered down from the original pitcher into your cup, so asking for no water will make the brew stronger. You can also ask for “light ice” (unless you prefer lots of ice). Ice is usually filled up much more than is necessary to keep the drink cold, limiting the volume of space the barista can fill the cup up with your favorite coffee drink or tea. Having light ice will give you more bang for your buck because you’ll be getting more of your drink, while still keeping it nice and cold.

9. Be specific about your syrup

I love the occasional PSL or Vanilla Latte as much as the next girl, but did you know that a Tall with sweetener has three pumps of syrup, a Grande has four pumps, and a Venti has five or six pumps? Just one pump is about 20 calories and 5 grams of sugar… are you keeping up with this math? That means just a Tall has 15 grams of sugar in the syrup alone. I don’t even want to think about how much is in a Venti! Asking for either one or two pumps per drink still gives the same flavor (we need that pumpkin spice!!) and sweetens up your drink, but if you order a Grande Vanilla Latte with two pumps vanilla syrup, you’d be saving 40 calories and 10 grams of sugar, for not much difference in taste.

10. Ask for a sample so you never get a drink you dislike again!

I don’t know about you, but I usually stick to the usual iced coffee, just so I don’t risk getting a drink that I end up not liking. But oh the possibilities out there in the Starbucks universe! Unless the store is super busy, the barista should be totally fine getting you a sample of a certain brew or drink, if you’re unsure whether or not you’d like it.

11. Know all the sizes

Thought “Tall” was the smallest? Think again — “Short” is an 8oz size (“Tall” is 12oz), which clarifies that age-old confusion that “Tall” was the smallest size, when it counterintuitively sounds like the largest — it’s because “Short” is the size smaller. Clears up a lot, doesn’t it? If you’re in the mood for a small drink, Short is cheaper than a Tall. The “Short” cappuccino has the same amount of espresso as the “Tall,” so if caffeine is your goal, opt for the cheaper options.

12. Are you and a friend both getting a Frappucino? Get one Venti!

A Venti size of your favorite sweet iced drink is about 24oz, while a Tall is 12oz. However, a Venti frappe is significantly cheaper than two Tall frappes would be (about $4 less, precisely). So instead of getting two, order the Venti size and ask for two Tall cups. Divide accordingly, and enjoy your frappucino with your friend, knowing you both saved money.

13. No time to wait in line? Order through your cell phone!

Using the Starbucks Mobile app, you can order ahead of time, and just go pick it up. No more waiting in long lines for your coffee! We’re busy women — we have much more important things to do.

This article was originally published on The Everygirl.com.

Random Acts of Kindness – Choose one. I have.

  1. Remember to turn the lights off when you leave a room!
  2. Make your voice count – sign a petition for a good cause
  3. Support a small, local business as a customer
  4. It’s hard to stay connected – reach out to an elderly person you know
  5. Visit a friend who’s sick
  6. Hug your parents
  7. Compliment someone today!
  8. Start the day right – make breakfast for everyone
  9. Send a thank you card to someone who has made a difference in your life (a friend, family member, teacher etc.)
  10. Leave a kind message anywhere (in a library book, on a computer etc.)

I liked this parable : Mathew 13

The Parable of the Sower (sometimes called the Parable of the Soils) is a parable of Jesusfound in the three Synoptic Gospels in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15.

In the story, a sower sows seed and does so indiscriminately. Some seed falls on the path (wayside) with no soil, some on rocky ground with little soil, and some on soil which contained thorns. In these cases the seed is taken away or fails to produce a crop, but when it falls on good soil it grows, yielding thirty, sixty, or a hundredfold.

Jesus then (only in the presence of his disciples) explains that the seed represents the Gospel (the sower being anyone who proclaims it), and the various soils represent people’s responses to it (the first three representing rejection while the last represents acceptance.

I’m a gardener Mentor. I try and die the seeds to make Dreams grow into ambitions, translating into Vision, mission, goals, objectives, action plans, biz, marketing plans etal.

In my efforts, sometimes I come across very distressed mentees. I have to work on making the soil good as they have rocky soil of past bad experiences, thorny soil which does not allow seeds to germinate, or find soil. I spend 5, 13, 26, 52 weeks depending upon the STATE, and SITUATION.

I Sometimes come across Sand, silt or clay land or simply rocky land. Rarely I find delta land ( usualy in C Suite execs) which is fertile . Each gets a different mentor treatment.

It works. There are failures too. As the mentorees stop responding and throw seeds on footpath – it is eaten by birds and pigeons.

In one case, after sowing 150 revenue ideas and rigorously, tilling the land I found failure. I decided to move on. As the farmer/ mentoree just did not understand and allowed my gardening efforts fail.

Sad but true! It happens.

Gardener then moves on too…

Speakers – Nice Newsletter I subscribe to.

4 Mistakes Most Speakers Make (and what to do instead)

The Sarcastic And Teary Best Friend

A Poem by Jay

Whose best friend is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite sad though.
It really is a tale of woe,
I watch her frown. I say hello!

She gives her best friend a shake,
And sobs until the tears make.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

The best friend is sarcastic, teary and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
Until then she shall not sleep.
She lies in bed with pillows that weep.

She rises from her crumpled bed,
With thoughts of madness in her head,
She idolises playing dead.
Facing the day with never ending dread.

With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.

Hope is not a Strategy, These Random Phrases do come true for me sometimes.

  1. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end. Will make sure, this does not happen today.
  2. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts
    Meaning: Finishing a task without making any excuses. Yess. FINISHIATIVE.
  3. Burst Your Bubble
    Meaning: To ruin someone’s happy moment. NO. Don’t want to do that. 
  4. Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch
    Meaning: Do not rely on something you are not sure of. Sane advice. So many plans put in motion, so many processes and work in progress that my elder cousin warned me not to take too much on my plate.  Sane advice. I am still far away from my 9 kilo weight reduction goal for this month.
  5. Cry Wolf
    Meaning: Someone that calls for help when it is not needed. Someone who is lying.  Yes. It happens again and again and again with me and I always fall prey. God give me a Midas touch – Nay! Give a truly healing touch I PRAY to you.
  6. Knuckle Down
    Meaning: Getting sincere about something; applying oneself seriously to a job. All the time. Never changed on this. Keep at it. That’s my philosophy and that’s what I preach and practice. 

What will the day be like – Random Phrases predict :)

I like to generate these random phrases and compare their attributions at the End of the day and usually they come correct.

Let’s see what’s in store for me today.

  1. Go For Broke
    Meaning: To risk it all, even if it means losing everything. To go all out.   If the message is about achieving 10000 likes in 58 days and thanking the BFFFs with deep sense of gratitude. I am all for it. 
  2. In a Pickle
    Meaning: Being in a difficult predicament; a mess; an undesirable situation.  Yes. it is true and getting out is messy. Staying in is messier.  Feels like a Camel whose owner wants to make him piss inside the tent but keep his Head out so that owner’s privacy is protected 🙂 
  3. Up In Arms
    Meaning: Angry; being roused to the point that you are ready to fight. Hmmm.. there is no fight left in me any more. I would rather honorably and peacefully walk aaway from UNCERTAINTY and SITUATIONS that bother me. 
  4. Put a Sock In It
    Meaning: Asking someone to be quiet or to shut up. No. That’s not Me. I would rather talk it over to a conclusion. 
  5. Give a Man a Fish
    Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. Yes. fully agree. Handholding by the mentor can not become Mentor’s tasks – A mentor needs to find a way to Wean to Win so the Mentees WTW Win The World.  

My day and the Random Phrases. Overall a Great day of Rest.

  1. Quick On the Draw
    Meaning: Performing an action with the greatest of haste.
  2. Back to Square One
    Meaning: To go back to the beginning; back to the drawing board. Took the lead to mend fences and getting into Mission mode rather than the Shared Vision mode. 
  3. Wouldn’t Harm a Fly
    Meaning: Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle. 
  4. It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be
    Meaning: Failing to meet expectations; not being as good as people say.  But sometimes, we fail to do the right things knowingly and then wake up too late to recover from the shock 
  5. Birds of a Feather Flock Together
    Meaning: 
    People tend to associate with others who share similar interests.  Hmmm.. 

Random Sentence/ Lateral thoughts

The three sentences I found at randome are: Will be interesting how they apply by the end of the day as possible solutions to the problems at hand.

I use Dr. Edward De Bono’s Random object attribution listing method of creative problem solving and the variant I use is Random sentences and Random phrases.  Both are path breakers in most instances that I have tried personally, for others or for businesses.  Try it out.

  1. Lets all be unique together until we realise we are all the same.
  2. Mary plays the piano.
  3. My Mum tries to be cool by saying that she likes all the same things that I do.

Random phrases make my day – Jack of all trades Master of none is at top today :)

Just wondering how well or badly the day pans out 🙂

  1. Jack of All Trades Master of None
    Meaning: Having suitable skill in multiple things, but not being an expert in any of them.
  2. Par For the Course
    Meaning: What you would expect to happen; something normal or common.
  3. Ring Any Bells?
    Meaning: Recalling a memory; causing a person to remember something or someone.
  4. Mouth-watering
    Meaning: Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.
  5. Swinging For the Fences
    Meaning: Giving something your all.
  6. Down For The Count
    Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so

My Random phrases for the day – Action Plan? May be:)

  1. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt. Starting over again, in a new city this time. Hope is not the Strategy. Doing is.
  2. Know the Ropes 
    Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. This sure is a help, An insider friend’s insights as I do not know the market, the customer yet. 
  3. Dropping Like Flies
    Meaning: To fall down ill or to die in large numbers. Hmmm… don’t know how this will work.
  4. Under Your Nose
    Meaning: Missing something that should be really obvious. I must be meticulous, scrupulous and a perfectionist this time around, taking care of all nitty gritty. 
  5. Quality Time
    Meaning: Spending time with another to strengthen the relationship. Yesss.! Meeting my 2 closest friends of 33 years after a long time is sure a motivation for the upcoming trip tomorrow.  

Two Spiteful Uncles Chatting to the Beat A Short Story by jay ( Auto generated and edited :) )

Teelo Teelo was thinking about Heart Break again. Heart was a cold-blooded juggler with pursed lips and Teelo Teelo had self cause hurt to his fingers.

Teelo walked over to the window and reflected on his Odorless surroundings. He had always loved The Dark Skies with its filthy, fried Universe, Full of Stars, Self Illuminated and those shining with reflected Glory. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel concerned.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a cold-blooded figure of Heart Break.

Teelo gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. She was a snotty, scheming, beer drinker with skinny body and slimy, sweaty palms. His friends saw her as a testy, tough teacher. Once, she had even rescued an ashamed old man from a road accident.

But not even a snotty person who had once rescued an ashamed old man from a road adccident, was prepared for what Heart had in store today.

The clouds danced like gyrating pigeons, making Teelo sparkly. Teelo grabbed a crumpled guillotine that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Teelo stepped outside and Heart came closer, he could see the vague glint in her eye.

Heart glared with all the wrath of 4432 clumsy squidgy snakes. She said, in hushed tones, “I hate you but I want xoxo.”

Teelo looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the crumpled guillotine. “Heart,  I bid you adiós, adieu, addio, adeus. … aloha. … arrivederci. … ciao. … auf Wiedersehen. … au revoir. … bon voyage. … sayonara,” he replied.

They looked at each other with calm feelings, like two flabby, flipping frogs thinking at a very arrogant disco, which had trance music playing in the background and two spiteful uncles chatting to the beat.

Teelo studied Heart’s sticky lips and hurt fingers. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” began Teelo in apologetic tones, “but I don’t feel the same way, and I never will. I just don’t hate you Heart.”

Heart looked lonely, her emotions raw like a kooky, kaleidoscopic knife.

Teelo could actually hear Heart’s emotions shatter into 4863 pieces. Then the cold-blooded juggler hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of beer would calm Teelo’s nerves tonight.

 

THE END

Sometimes, the random sentences are Soooo creative and Positive :)

  1. I love eating toasted cheese and tuna sandwiches.  And I am a vegetarian. 
  2. There were white out conditions in the town; subsequently, the roads were impassable.  Truly describing terrible Bangalore colonies roads.
  3. The book is in front of the table.  Yes but I haven’t even read the cover page. 
  4. Cats are good pets, for they are clean and are not noisy.  I like the FOLLOW ME Pugs though. Except I don’t like to take them on a Poop Walk.  My morning walks are clean 🙂

Random Phrases for today. Let us see next… :)

  1. Down For The Count
    Meaning: Someone or something that looks to be defeated, or nearly so.  Does it mean Me? 
  2. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted
    Meaning: It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money. Quite true. I fall prey all the time to neuromarketing gimmicks. 
  3. Keep Your Shirt On
    Meaning: Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.  LOL ! how true! 
  4. Back To the Drawing Board
    Meaning: Starting over again on a new design from a previously failed attempt. Yes. I am. Trying Hard. Redesigning blog. Planning whether to restart painting. Have to prepare two teaching courses. Dependency is BAD.
  5. A Dime a Dozen
    Meaning: Something that is extremely common. Hmmm.  I am so mundane ! 🙂

Wild Jay A Short Story by Jay

I have decided to become a Story Writer and a Story TI have decided to become a Story Writer and a Story Teller going forward. The Udemy Course was very useful so was this Story Generator. See what it produced. Wonderful nO?

I did some edits here and there to keep the flow and continuity.

Jay was thinking about Goji Berry again. Goji was an arrogant queen with brunette hair and sticky fingers, slimey, limp palms and pursed lips.
Jay walked over to the window and reflected on his pig in the mud surroundings. He had always hated snake burrow The Earth with its united, as he uninterested in what is under the earth. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel calm.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an arrogant figure of Goji Berry.
Jay gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a wild, ruthless, whiskey drinker with ginger fingers and pouting lips. His friends saw him as an arrogant, anxious author. Once, he had even saved a tight old man that was stuck in a drain.
But not even a wild person who had once saved a tight old man that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Goji had in store today.
The clouds danced like bopping snakes, making Jay irritable. Jay grabbed a bendy rock that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his hurt fingers. He had caused the self hurt.
As Jay stepped outside and Goji came closer, he could see the outstanding glint in her eye.
“I am here because I want Apology,” Goji bellowed, in a sinister tone. She slammed her fist against Jay’s chest, with the force of 8735 humming birds. “I frigging hate you, Jay .”
Jay looked back, even more irritable and still fingering the bendy rock. “Goji, I am your Foster Father,” he replied.
They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two thundering, thoughtful tortoises rampaging at a very tactless accident, which had jazz music playing in the background and two vile uncles talking to the beat.
Jay studied Goji’s brunette hair and his hurt fingers and the pursed lips. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you Apology,” he explained, in pitying tones.
Goji looked angry, her body raw like a glorious, good gun.
Jay could actually hear Goji’s body shatter into 6000 pieces. Then the arrogant queen hurried away into the distance.
Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Jay’s nerves tonight.

THE END
#Storyteller, storywriter, #mentor #pigfight #snakes #tortoises #mentoring #Mentoring fun #Jay #Jaymentoreller going forward. The Udemy Course was very useful so was this Story Generator. See what it produced.  Wonderful nO?

I did some edits here and there to keep the flow and continuity.

 

Jay was thinking about Goji Berry again. Goji was an arrogant queen with brunette hair and sticky fingers, slimey, limp palms and pursed lips.

Jay walked over to the window and reflected on his pig in the mud surroundings. He had always hated snake burrow The Earth with its united, as he uninterested in what is under the earth. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel calm.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an arrogant figure of Goji Berry.

Jay gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a wild, ruthless, whiskey drinker with ginger fingers and pouting lips. His friends saw him as an arrogant, anxious author. Once, he had even saved a tight old man that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a wild person who had once saved a tight old man that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Goji had in store today.

The clouds danced like bopping snakes, making Jay irritable. Jay grabbed a bendy rock that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his hurt fingers. He had caused the self hurt.

As Jay stepped outside and Goji came closer, he could see the outstanding glint in her eye.

“I am here because I want Apology,” Goji bellowed, in a sinister tone. She slammed her fist against Jay’s chest, with the force of 8735 humming birds. “I frigging hate you, Jay .”

Jay looked back, even more irritable and still fingering the bendy rock. “Goji, I am your Foster Father,” he replied.

They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two thundering, thoughtful tortoises rampaging at a very tactless accident, which had jazz music playing in the background and two vile uncles talking to the beat.

Jay studied Goji’s brunette hair and his hurt fingers and the pursed lips. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you Apology,” he explained, in pitying tones.

Goji looked angry, her body raw like a glorious, good gun.

Jay could actually hear Goji’s body shatter into 6000 pieces. Then the arrogant queen hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Jay’s nerves tonight.

 

THE END

#Storyteller, storywriter, #mentor #pigfight #snakes #tortoises #mentoring #Mentoring fun #Jay #Jaymentor

Random Phrases that guided today… Sad, mad, crazy morning

And during the hard negotiation, due to my straight talk my friend became afraid and thought I would burst like a cracker or a bomb now 🙂 🙂 That changed the morning mood somewhat.

  1. Off One’s Base
    Meaning: A person that is crazy or behaving in idiotic ways  And I could take it no more. 🙂
  2. Fight Fire With Fire
    Meaning: To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you. This was the best course of action left:)
  3. High And Dry
    Meaning: To be left behind; abandoned. Being in a helpless situation without a way to recover. The feeling or the aftermath.
  4. Man of Few Words
    Meaning: A person who does not speak a great deal; someone who talks with as few words as possible.  I choose not to use all fingers for typing on a key board and purse my lips to achieve this. 🙂

Sugar – Honey – Iced – Tea … Guess what it means.:) It was a crazy morning

  • When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.

  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

  • The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.

  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

  • The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.

  • If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Smart phrases – Revisited and Rephrased on a mad mad day…

It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluids.

Don’t cry over spilled milk

The stylus is more potent than the dirk.

The pen is more powerful than the sword.

All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

Those who bask in reflected glory with no self illuminations masquerade as celebrities

All that glitters isn’t gold.

Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.

Dead men don’t talk.

Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.  I like this the most 🙂

People who live in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones.

Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will remain sempiternally innocuous.

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

 

#Life #Poetry # Proverbs, #Madness #frenemy #enemy #Bad day #Revisit #Rephrase #Creativity #Mentoring #Dementor

12th Certification this month.WOW! I’m on a Roll !:)

12. Power of Persuasion UC-G11CVUA7.jpgvia UC-G11CVUA7.jpg (1600×1194)

My Random sentences for the day

  1. The river stole the gods. Hmmm…. I think there is truth there. .. Will wait till day end.
  2. Don’t step on the broken glass. – True, especially when you have shown someone the mirror undiplomatically, unapologetically and unconventionally and it has been broken using your HEAD 🙂 

Random Inputs and My New Day begins

  1. Quick and Dirty Meaning: Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well.  No, it wasn’t dirty but it was a bad prank I played for a couple of days having failed last time, I think it has gone awry again and I may be on the brink of losing a good friend. That will be very sad. 
  2. No-Brainer Meaning: Anything that requires minimal brain activity to accomplish. I thought it displays my state of mind today with No brains 🙂 but fortunately it means something else.
  3. Know the Ropes Meaning: Having a familiarity or understanding of how something works. Yes. I have said sorry profusely. I am hoping it will work. 
  4. What Goes Up Must Come Down Meaning: Things that go up must eventually return to the earth due to gravity.  I am positive. 
  5. Don’t Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth Meaning: When you receive a gift from someone, do not be ungrateful. Will have to wait and see how the day unfolds hereafter. 

Random Phrases for today – they mean a lot to me

  1. Talk the Talk Meaning: Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence. That’s called INTEGRITY! 
  2. Cut The Mustard Meaning: To cut the mustard is to meet a required standard, or to meet expectations. 
  3. Wouldn’t Harm a Fly Meaning: Nonviolent; someone who is mild or gentle.
  4. A Chip on Your Shoulder Meaning: Being angry about something that happened in the past.
  5. Drive Me Nuts Meaning: To greatly frustrate someone. To drive someone crazy, insane, bonkers, or bananas.
  6. Jig Is Up Meaning: For a ruse or trick to be discovered; to be caught.

Time to express GRATITUDE again!

Dear Friends and followers,

13th May to 27th June – 6 weeks, 45 days of regular posting on WordPress gave me GFFs:) Great friends and followers who have delighted me with 16000+ views 8000+ likes 6000 Visitors and 300+ comments.  What can I say – I can only express my humble GRATITUDE to you all for this.

Thank you !

Regards

Jay

The Speech Wiz says, “It’s Time for the Expert in You to Start Thinking Deeply About What You Feel, Know and Say.” — The Speech Wiz

THE DEEPER THE THOUGHT, THE HIGHER THE MESSAGE
Deep thinking is a solitary experience. No Cliff® notes available. It is a self-occupying, constantly-curious, and never-ending experience. A speaker will never suffer a loss for the time invested in deeply thinking about their core topic. The journey is always exhilarating, liberating and profoundly beyond the intended destination.
If you’re a speaker and curious about how to craft your core message, deep thinking on your primary topic area is where you need to begin. Pick up your shovel and pick axe and get ready to begin exploring the mine of your mind. The nuggets of insight and gems of clarity you’ll be looking to find will be found among 3 Veins of Thought within your mind:

What you know
What you’re passionate about
The experiences you have had.

via The Speech Wiz says, “It’s Time for the Expert in You to Start Thinking Deeply About What You Feel, Know and Say.” — The Speech Wiz

My random phrases for the day sometimes fortell the happenings of the day

#Life #Relationshiops #judging #situation #expectations

  1. I Smell a Rat Meaning: A feeling that something is not quite right, or awry.  I met him. He was late. The meeting lasted 30 minutes against original plan of 2 hours as we met after nearly 6 years. Something was amiss. Something was wrong.
  2. Par For the Course Meaning: What you would expect to happen; something normal or common. He came to the point said I shall do two things for you. I said, I came to meet without expectations. He added and committed to more more I this this was not par for the course. Seemed like a Gimme to me. 
  3. You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover Meaning: Don’t judge someone or something only by the outward appearance.  The beard was gone, Hair were short cropped, eyes bore a cold look.  Was the man Calm and composed within.  I was not judging.
  4. On the Ropes Meaning: Being in a situation that looks to be hopeless! There was no compatibility, there was no synergy, leveraging strengths was thrown out of the windows ( and were there too many of them?) The break up was inevitable. 
  5. Give a Man a Fish Meaning: It’s better to teach a person how to do something than to do that something for them. I have believed in this phrase all my life but still do things as Mentor for them I should not be doing and that makes them habituated of spoon feeding, Receiving and expecting more = ready on a platter. When not delivered the bubble bursts. 

Isn’t that called Life?

Sometimes Random sentences make or mar our days.

  1. Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.  So very true for this day.  Damn my biorhythms !
  2. I will never be this young again. Ever. Oh damn… I just got older.  That’s right. 
  3. He said he was not there yesterday; however, many people saw him there.  Hmmm… Must have lied to his wife, who else?:)
  4. Is it free? WHAT IS?  Yes, Advice is free, feedback is free. Even T H A T people charge money these days – they are called MENTORS like Jay 🙂 
  5. Tom got a small piece of pie. Hmmm… anything left for me.. NOOO! Im on diet till 31st July. Have to drop to 80Kg ! 
  6. She folded her handkerchief neatly.  One of my babyboomer (habit) privilege also stolen! 🙂 

Random Input this morning and what I intend to do today

  • Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees
    Meaning: Suggests that money is a resource that must be earned and is not one that’s easily acquired.

 

This I know! 

 

If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the KitchenMeaning: One should discontinue with a task if they are unable to cope with it due to pressure.

I did that. Ferociously, Vehemently. Getting Rid of a Bad BAd Habit. 

 

My Cup of TeaMeaning: Someone or something that one finds to be agreeable or delightful.

Yes. I need to begin painting again. 

 

Fight Fire With FireMeaning: To retaliate with an attack that is similar to the attack used against you.

May be, NOT.  But will avoid words like Should, Maybe, perhaps, always, never, or begin sentences with a No, But or however. 

 

Cut To The ChaseMeaning: To get to the point, leaving out all of the unnecessary details.

Yes. I find Occam’s Razor working the best for me. However, I feel we still allow negative thoughts and negative and generally don’t change our network filled with such people fast enough.

 

Lovey DoveyMeaning: The affectionate stuff that people do when they are in love, such as kissing and hugging.

Emotional Investments are subject of market Risks – said very fast like the Mutual funds or insurance disclaimer Ads 🙂 

Top 10 Fascinating Things Scientists Discovered About Salt

JANA LOUISE SMIT 

Too often, salt is forgotten in its shaker, but the grainy, white stuff can get strange. Its influences range from bizarre reactions inside the human body to when stars die.

Salt can solve mysteries, help us explore space, and reveal Earth’s past. The most fascinating is sodium’s dual role of danger and savior: It kills millions every year but also offers a cheap weapon against infections and climate change.

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Sponsored by Connatix

10Salt Is Better Than Soap

Photo credit: BrokenSphere

When someone arrives at the hospital, they go through debridement, which is basically the cleansing of any wounds with soap and water. Yet, thousands of patients need treatment for infections that occur after injuries are cleaned.

In 2015, doctors launched a study to see if salt water might prevent this from happening. They threw the remedy in at the deep end. Forget using a saline solution on paper cuts. Surgeons used it to clean open breaks on patients from five countries.

Around 2,400 people were treated with either a saline wash or soap and water. The patients were monitored for a year to document any infections. During this time, most patients who returned for additional operations were the ones who had their wounds soaped. Those who received a saltwater cleansing were less prone to infections, and their injuries healed better.

The difference was so significant that if doctors adopt the salty treatment, it could lead to a cheap way to disinfect serious injuries. This is good news for Third World countries where 90 percent of the world’s traffic deaths happen.[1]

9Salt Causes Brain Inflammation

In 2018, researchers put mice on a high-salt diet and the results were scary. Mice are highly intelligent mammals, but the sodium dumbed them down. They performed badly in maze tests, and reactions to whisker stimulation or new objects were tepid.

Previously, salt-induced cognitive issues were believed to happen because of high blood pressure. However, the study proved that salt could mess up important parts of the brain even without blood pressure issues.

Decreased blood flow to the cortex and hippocampus impaired learning and memory. This was the end result of a crazy thing that the immune system did. When it detected too much salt in the animal’s gut, inflammatory signals were sent to the brain to compromise blood vessels and thinking.[2]

The gut’s independent signaling is already responsible for other diseases linked to poor brain blood vessels—multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, and inflammatory bowel disease. But this is the first time that salt was identified as a trigger for the dangerous inflammation.

On a positive note, the mice recovered their smarts when they were switched to a low-sodium diet or gut signals were disrupted by drugs.

8The Salt Tooth

Many people are the delicious owner of a sweet tooth. Evidence now also points to the existence of a genetic salt tooth.

In 2016, a study followed 400 locals in Kentucky who were all at risk for heartdisease. They kept food diaries and gave DNA samples. Among the volunteers were individuals who carried a gene variation called TAS2R48. Previously linked to a greater sensitivity to taste bitterness, the gene also appeared to make certain people love salt.

In fact, the volunteers with TAS2R48 were twice as likely to consume more than the safe amount of salt as compared to those without the gene. Worse, the gene could be why people who taste bitterness more vividly (and hate it) sprinkle even more salt to make food taste better.

The discovery of the “salt tooth” gene is the first step in helping those with TAS2R48 to make food choices that won’t cause blood pressure issues, which may cause heart disease or shortened lives.[3]

7Salty Stars Die Sooner

Photo credit: space.com

When Simon Campbell, a stellar astrophysicist from Australia, found old research papers from the 1980s, he realized that they contradicted an established belief. This belief stated that all the stars in a given cluster evolve in a similar way.

However, the 1980 papers described differences within a group called NGC 6752. Moreover, the older study claimed that sodium was responsible. Back in the day, observation techniques were not as high-tech as today. To confirm the findings, Campbell turned Chile’s powerful Very Large Telescope on the cluster, which was located 13,000 light-years away. The claims were true.

Additionally, Campbell’s team discovered that sodium killed stars quicker than those that contained less salt. The low-sodium stars followed a normal evolutionary path and, at the end, burned hydrogen and helium before shedding gas and dust. What remained turned into white dwarfs.

Their highly salted cousins never entered the shedding phase but died directly into white dwarfs. This was unexpected as all stars were thought to first lose mass in their final years. Though salt is definitely a factor, the exact reason why it removes an entire life phase is not entirely clear.[4]

6Morphine For A Warming Earth

Photo credit: Nick Juhasz

In 2018, scientists at the Planetary Science Institute proposed to salt the air like a cured ham. The reason? To cool Earth down. Humans’ dependence on fossil fuels is still dialing up the planet’s temperature. The idea is to release table salt (perhaps a salt mine’s worth) into the troposphere. Its strong reflective properties might mirror incoming heat back into space.

But this is geoengineering, a practice involving environmental manipulation to stave off climate change. This remains a patchwork craft where precision understanding of all the consequences cannot be predicted.

Salt may be harmless to humans and more reflective than other suggested dustings, but it contains chlorine. This ozone nibbler could worsen the condition of Earth’s protective shield against radiation. Salt might cool Earth but could wreck the chemistry of both the troposphere and stratosphere.[5]

Researchers admit the move is a desperate one for a situation that needs something better. They liken salt seeding to the “application of morphine in a medical situation.”

5Chance To Preview Extraterrestrial Life

Photo credit: discovermagazine.com

Deep below Antarctica’s surface are pockets that contain ecosystems separate from the rest of the world. These subterranean lakes are super salty. In 2018, researchers found a pair of these saline lakes in Canada. For the moment, they cannot dip their toes or test tubes in the water. Both lakes are thought to be over 610 meters (2,000 ft) below the Devon Ice Cap.

What makes the pair so interesting is that they have been sealed away for millennia. Other subglacial lakes previously produced the samples that proved microbes had their own communities away from sunlight and the world.

The Canadian lakes are special. Calculations estimate that their salt content—up to five times that of the oceans—make these the most hypersaline bodies on Earth.

They also have a touch of space in them. Jupiter’s moon Europa has an icy crust over what is likely a saltwater sea, which is a requirement for life. If Canada’s own ice-locked lakes produce life, it might prove that similar ecosystems exist in salty oceans across the solar system.[6]

4Salt Makes Ceres Spotty

Photo credit: space.com

Ceres is a dwarf planet in our solar system’s asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. For some time, something about Cere’s appearance has been a scientific mystery. Around 130 inexplicable bright spots dotted the surface of the dwarf planet.

In 2015, NASA’s Dawn spacecraft orbited the small world and beamed back to Earth a likely answer. When the incoming data was analyzed, it appeared that the shiny spots were comprised of hydrated magnesium sulfates. Footbath lovers know this compound as Epsom salt.

Most of the patches were found within impact craters, and water ice also seemed to play a role in their creation. Several craters produced a haze after sunrise, possibly from water vapor leaving the spots. Some spots also have the reflectivity of polar sheets, a strong indication that Ceres might have vast reservoirs of ice underneath the crust.[7]

How these oddities came to be on Ceres in the first place is also unknown, but impacts likely exposed ice and salt beneath the crust.

3Worst Droughts In History

During 2017, researchers were drilling for samples in the Dead Sea when they found something horrifying—two droughts capable of bringing civilization to its knees should they repeat. The team had been scouting for salt deposits to look at past rainfall. The logic was sound. A dry spell would leave more deposits, while rainy years thinned them.

When the drill hit the depths that represented 10,000 and 120,000 years ago, respectively, salt showed up in a big way. Found around 305 meters (1,000 ft) below the seabed, they showed droughts unlike anything recorded before. Both times, the Middle East suffered dry weather that lasted millennia. At its worst, only 20 percent of normal rainfall was seen. Humans and Neanderthals existed during the first, and by the second, Neanderthals were gone.

Scientists are worried that a rebound may make millions suffer this time, and climate predictions show the region will turn arid. The salt layers proved that the deadliest droughts happened without human interference. Now, with man-made climate change, the much-needed freshwater could disappear again.[8]

2The Birth Of Oxygen

Photo credit: astrobio.net

Earth was pretty much a choke zone until the first oxygen bloomed. Called the Great Oxidation Event, this change was made possible when bacteria learned photosynthesis and started releasing oxygen.

Exactly when this event happened was a mystery until 2018, when the world’s oldest salt was found. The crystallized rocks were drawn from a 2-kilometer-deep (1.2 mi) shaft in Russia.

The crystals, chemically identical to table salt, formed 2.3 billion years ago after an ancient ocean evaporated. The sample contained sulfate—something which forms in seawater when oxygen reacts with sulfur. Not only did it prove when the Oxidation Event happened, but the vast amount of sulfate showed that it spread at a rapid clip.[9]

The massive rate at which oxygen was pumped into the atmosphere was surprising, but it settled another question. Did bacteria take millions of years to raise the 20 percent oxygen level in the atmosphere? The Russian salt showed that the process was not gradual. For some reason, the event was more like the burst from a fire hose.

1It Might Become A Controlled Substance

At the 2012 World Nutrition meeting in Rio, researchers proposed that salt be regulated by companies or governments. The population is overdosing on sodium, a leading cause of premature deaths. Not just a few thousand, either. Millions of people die of high blood pressure every year because of salt added to food.

A human needs 350 milligrams daily to stay alive. Meanwhile, an average American ingests 3,500 milligrams per day. The biggest culprit is sodium hidden from the consumer. A slice of store-bought bread already accounts for 250 milligrams of sodium. A can of vegetables contains around 1,000 milligrams. Double that in one fast-food meal.

Researchers are leaning toward taking the choice away from companies that add salt to improve taste in low-quality food and use salt water to sell meat at a “heavier” price. As salt causes thirst, beverage sellers have little incentive to support salt reduction. Faced with hidden sodium and industrial overuse, the individual cannot effectively reduce his intake. For this reason, the government regulation of salt may be the only option.[10]

10 Little-Known Stories About How Slavery Ended Around The World

HISTORY

MARK OLIVER 

 

We talk about slavery almost as if it was something that only happened in the United States. Slavery is treated as a distinctly American legacy and American shame—but that couldn’t possibly be farther from the truth.

Nearly every country in the world participated in the slave trade, and a lot of them took in far more slaves than the United States. Of the 12.5 million African slaves sent to the New World, only 388,000—or about three percent—of them ended up in the US.[1]

We’ve all heard about Abraham Lincoln, the Civil War, and the Emancipation Proclamation, but that wasn’t the end of slavery around the world. Slaves were still battling for their freedom, and, outside their own countries, their stories have been almost completely ignored.

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Sponsored by Connatix

10Britain Spent Most Of Its Budget Paying Off Slaveowners


When the British Empire abolished slavery in 1833, their biggest concern was the slaveowners. A growing abolitionist movement in the empire had pushed them to do the humane thing and let their slaves go free, but they were still terrified about how all their slaveowners would react—so they paid them off.

The British government spent £20 million reimbursing slavers for the “loss of their slaves.” That was a huge amount of money—it was 40 percent of their treasury’s annual income, and the country had to go £15 million in debt to pay for it.[2] They didn’t finish paying off that debt until 2015, meaning that, in a sense, British taxes were going toward paying off slaveowners for 182 years.

The slaves didn’t see a penny of that £20 million. They weren’t given any resources or land to compensate them for working without pay or any guidance on how to make a better life for themselves. And so, when slavery ended, most ended up staying on the same plantations they’d been at their whole lives, working for wages so low that life wasn’t much better than before.

9Canada Abolished Slavery To Save A Single Woman


The end of slavery in the British Empire didn’t change much in Canada. They’d already abolished slavery 40 years earlier, in 1793, all as a part of one man’s efforts to save a single woman named Chloe Cooley.

Chloe Cooley was an African slave whose owner intended to sell her in the US. While a crowd of people watched, he tied her up, threw her into a boat, and sailed her across Lake Erie. Cooley did everything she could to resist, screaming for her life and trying to escape, but it was all to no avail.

Two men in the crowd, though, reported what they’d seen to Lieutenant Governor John Graves Simcoe, and he made it his personal goal to save Cooley. He tried to bring her owner to court, but the case was thrown out.[3]She was the owner’s property, and, by law, he could do anything he wanted to her.

So Simcoe changed the law. He campaigned to get slavery abolished in Canada and pulled it off in record time. Less than four months after Cooley was sold, slavery was illegal.

Simcoe, though, never managed to save Cooley. The new law only banned the purchase of new slaves—slaveowners were still allowed to keep the ones they had. No one knows for sure what happened to Cooley, but there’s every reason to believe she died in the United States, working on a plantation slave gang.

8Brazil Kept Slavery Alive Longer Than Any Country In The Americas

We don’t often talk about the Brazilian slave trade, but it was bigger than any other in North or South America. As we’ve said, only three percent of the African slaves went to the United States—but 32 percent (four million) of them went to Brazil.

Slavery stayed legal in Brazil for longer than any other country in the Americas, too. It was so strong that, after the US Civil War, Confederate slaveowners who were unwilling to give up owning people moved to Brazil to keep the slave trade alive.

In the end, though, the British Empire pressured them into giving them up. It wasn’t until Brazilians fought alongside their African slaves in the Paraguayan War that they started to see them as human beings.[4]

In the end, the slaveowners came around to abolition before the government did. They started freeing their own slaves before the state forced them to do it. When slavery was finally abolished in 1888, most of the slaves had already been set free.

7A Slave Revolt In Haiti Actually Worked

Photo credit: January Suchodolski

In Haiti, the slaves won their freedom by force. It was the oldest slave colony in America. There had been slaves there since Columbus first landed in 1492, and by 1789, there were nearly 500,000 slaves, outnumbering the white population by more than ten to one.[5]

When the Haitian slaves heard about the French Revolution, it sparked an idea. From their point of view, it sounded like the white slaves of France had killed their masters and taken possession of the land. They wanted to throw a revolution of their own.

Haitian slaves started wearing red, white, and blue ribbons as tributes to the French Revolution and as a subtle sign that they were getting ready to launch one of their own. And, in October 1790, it started. At first, it was just 350 slaves fighting for their freedom in Saint Dominique, but it soon evolved into a full-on rebellion across the entire country.

It took 14 years for them to win their freedom. The French Army was called in, and the ragtag, revolting slaves had to take on one of the greatest military forces in the world. In the end, though, the French Army was wreaked with disease. They gave up, went home, and let the slave rebellion win.

The very concepts of skin color were abolished. Under the constitution, no matter the color of one’s skin, all Haitians were to “be known only by the generic appellation of Blacks.”

6The First Black President Of Mexico Abolished Slavery

Photo credit: Anacleto Escutia

It probably won’t come as much as a surprise that slavery in Mexico didn’t last much longer after its first black president.

His name was Vicente Ramon Guerrero Saldana (often shortened to Vicente Guerrero), and he was the son of an African Mexican and a Mestizo. To his Mexican comrades, though, his mixed heritage just made him black—in fact, his nickname was “El Negro.”

Guerrero entered office on April 1, 1829, and got rid of slavery before the year was over.[6] Slavery in Mexico officially ended on September 16, 1829—much to the chagrin of the Americans living there.

Texas, at the time, was full of American slaveholders who weren’t too happy about Guerrero’s new law. The end of slavery in Mexico would eventually lead to Texas declaring independence and would even get Guerrero killed. A revolt rose up against him nearly immediately. Guerrero was dead before two years had passed.

But his law survived. Even though Guerrero died, slavery never came back to Mexico.

5Britain Forced Zanzibar To Abolish Slavery In Under An Hour

Photo credit: The Daily Telegraph

In the late 19th century, Zanzibar was the center of the global slave trade. Thousands of slaves passed through their slave market each year, and the British wanted to put an end to it.[7]

They tried to do it peacefully. They tried to put economic pressure on Zanzibar to get them to stop the slave trade, but all Zanzibar would give them were a few platitudes and empty gestures. The slave trade was vital to their economy, and they weren’t going to give it up unless someone made them.

So, in 1896, a British fleet set itself up outside of the Sultan’s palace and just bombarded it senseless with everything they had. After 38 to 45 minutes of destruction, the Sultan surrendered, and slavery in Zanzibar came to an end.

It was the shortest war in history. Over 500 people died on the Zanzibar side. On the British side, only one person was wounded. The rest didn’t even stub a toe.

4It Took Two Wars To End The Barbary White Slave Trade

Photo credit: Dennis Malone Carter

Africans weren’t the only people being kidnapped and sold into slavery. Between the 16th and 19th centuries, hundreds of thousands of Europeans were captured by Barbary pirates and sold as slaves in North Africa and the Ottoman Empire.

The Barbary pirates would raid the coasts of Europe and capture anyone they could get their hands on. Then they would drag them off to Algiers, where they would be sold as slaves.

The Ottoman Empire refused to stop until the United States and Europe forced them. The US had to go to war with the Barbary states twice (in 1801 and 1815) before they left them alone, while the British, Dutch, and French fought with Algiers off and on for nearly 100 years before the Ottoman Empire, in 1890, finally signed an agreement to stop taking white slaves.[8]

3Cuba Ignored Spain’s Orders To Abolish Slavery For 75 Years

Officially, slavery was abolished in every Spanish colony in 1811, but Cuba didn’t exactly listen. The slave trade was too profitable there to stop. They deliberately ignored the Spanish order and kept on selling slaves for another 75 years.

It created problems. In 1812, when the slaves in Cuba realized they weren’t going free, a man named Jose Aponte led them in a revolt to try to get them the freedom they’d been denied.[9] Even in the face of open revolt, though, Cuba kept the slave trade going. They killed Aponte and put his head on display to let every slave know what would happen to them if they questioned the Cuban slave trade.

The slaves didn’t get their freedom until after Cuba and Spain went to war. Cuba went to war with Spain in 1868 but had lost by 1878, and Spain rode the high of their victory to finally actually force Cuba to let their slaves go. Even then, though, the process was so gradual that the shackles didn’t come off until 1886, a whole lifetime after they’d been promised their freedom.

2Australian Slave Traders Drowned Slaves Rather Than Give Them Freedom

Technically, Australia was a nation of slaves to begin with. The convicts who first populated Australia were sent to work as unpaid slaves on a chain gang, and they were treated so horribly that one of the British officers who went to Australia said, “The slave traffic is merciful compared with what I have seen.”

In time, the white slaves of Australia were replaced with Aboriginal slaves, who were forced to work on sugar plantations. They were all supposed to be freed in 1833, when the British Empire abolished slavery, but the Australians ignored it. They relabeled their slaves “indentured servants” and kept using them for the better part of a century.

It took until 1901—68 years after slavery had been abolished—before the British Empire finally forced Australia to set their slaves free. Some of the slave traders, though, were so determined not to do it that they threw their slaves overboard, letting them drown rather than giving them their freedom.[10]

1Mauritania Still Has Slavery


Not every country has abolished slavery. In Mauritania, it is estimated that 43,000 people are still living in slavery.[11]

The lighter-skinned Berber people of Mauritania are the slaveowners, while the darker-skinned people called the “Black Moors” are the slaves. The Berbers have full control over the Black Moors’ lives, including the right to give their slaves away. In fact, it’s considered a tradition there to give a slave as a wedding gift.

Technically, slavery was legally abolished in Mauritania in 1981, but the slave trade still lives on to this day. The government started to crack down more after a 2012 report by the United Nations put them in the international spotlight, but according to the Global Slavery Index, it was little more than a show to appease the UN. They arrested their first slaveowner immediately around when the UN report came out and very publicly sentenced him to six months in jail—but they stopped pursuing cases when the world stopped paying attention.

To this day, Mauritania remains one of the last great strongholds of slaveryin the world.

Fast paced learning continues. :)

uc-h220d8raThis certificate above verifies that Dhananjay Parkhe successfully completed the course Brand storytelling (Neuromarketing approach) on 06/20/2018 as taught by Heba Mahdy on Udemy. The certificate indicates the entire course was completed as validated by the student.

via Online Courses – Anytime, Anywhere | Udemy

SABERA AWARDS in Nov 2018

My latest connection on Linkedin is  Simply Suparnaa

Dear Dhananjay,

Thank you!

Am reaching out to share that this November will see the launch of a platform acknowledging ‘Good’ through the SABERA (Social and Business Enterprise Responsible awards). http://simplysuparnaa.com/sabera/

I am further happy to share that in its maiden edition we already have a broadcast media partner that will showcase content to over 100million plus viewers beyond the the physical event.

I need your help specifically to share this with folks- both individuals and organisations you know of that are doing Good.

The entry fees is a nominal amount of Re1000+ GST for all who have a turnover under 5cr. Registration is open and is a must to the entry forms.

For enterprises there is a first of its kind category of ‘Responsible Business’ There will also be a summit before the awards, would be great to know your perspective on the content too.

Very grateful for your help in making this possible. Warm Regards, Suparnaa

simplysuparnaa.com

Sabera

 

Keep Walking – Keep Learning

Pt. Deen Dayal Upadhyay gave a Mantra – Charaiveti, CharaiVeti. Keep Walking .. And Trust me Chalte Chalte – Just morning Walking I am doing these certifications and it feels so good. Learning new things, new skills is my passion and now I have all the time available to pursue thing I always wanted to do. 🙂UC-O6Y5BULC

Have you felt Humbled?

I was going thru some of my old EverNote notes.
It read:
“Unable to get people on con call.
Someone commented on my old tie –all it needs is a stitch.
I was humbled.”
Those were good old Corporate days. Sometimes due to the Global Time Differences, it would become difficult to get people on Conference Calls/ Video Calls/ Audio Chats.
I remember vividly, one of the colleagues took a dig at my tie whose label had come out from one side and was visible to the powerful camera and hence to all participants.
My colleague said “All your Old Tie needs is a Stitch”.   It humbled me.
Today, I do not remember the name of the colleague and my bad, I did not note it down in the Evernote.
Thinking – how to mend some of the Old ties? The Old friendships. The Oldest ones for example.  A friend sent me a WhatsApp last afternoon “All well? No news from you for long?”
I thought, this friend was visiting USA to his two sons and may not have access to his Indian phone number/ whatsapp as it is a long stay – he had planned to stay for 6 months.
Then after a while, I found two missed calls and one which stopped before 3 rings ( Damn Redmi Y1 and Damn my One Plus 5 T).  I called him.  He was back 15 days ago and was shifting home after 34 years.  We became colleagues and later thick friends since 1985.  His old flat / building was going under renovation and the neighbors were concerned that he had not yet vacated the flat so that the builder can start work.  He shifted to a small one bedroom flat. Sitting among boxes, he thought of me and called. He was worried as most babyboomers do when they do not get RESPONSE.
We had a catch up chat, I said I may visit your town soon for a morning/ evening trip and will try and atleast speak from  airport.  He said stay back, be my guest. Let’s catch up. We may be gone again for a long long time to USA and who knows….
I knew I was humbled again – All the Old Tie needed what just a proverbial STITCH.

8 shortest stories – Deep meaning. ( Not my own)

(1) Those who had coins, enjoyed in the rain. Those who had notes, were busy looking for shelter.

(2) Man and God both met somewhere. Both exclaimed, “My creator.”

(3) He asked, are you a Hindu or Muslim? The response came, “I am hungry”!

(4) The fool didn’t know it was impossible. So he did it.

(5) “Wrong number,” Said a familiar voice.

(6) What if God asks you after you die, “So how was heaven?”

(7) They told me that to make her fall in love I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I am the one who falls in love.”

(8) We don’t make friends anymore….
We Add them nowadays.

Read somewhere. Art of Dealing. Story telling

A retired old couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman promised to hold a car for them.

But they found the car was just sold to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, “Young man, you said you hold that car till we raised the $95,000 asking price, yet you closed the deal for $75,000 to the young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no discount for this model !

“The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water.

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman walked over to the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get him to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father’s day.”

Once again….. don’t mess with seniors. I love this one.
A great laugh. 😛😛😛😛😛

Selfishness, Selflessness and Personal Ego

Selfishness and selflessness are two phases of the life of the personal ego, and these two phases are continuous with each other.

Selfishness arises when all the desires are centred around the narrow individuality. Selflessness arises when this crude organisation of desires suffers disintegration and there is a general dispersing of desires with the result that they cover a much wider sphere.

Selfishness is the narrowing down of interests to a limited field; selflessness is the extension of interests over a wide field.

To put it paradoxically, selfishness is a restricted form of selflessness, and selflessness is the drawing out of selfishness into a wide sphere of activity.

——-AVATAR MEHER BABA

[Discourses by Meher Baba, volume-I, p-29-30 (Copyright ©1967 by Adi K. Irani, King’s Rd., Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India)]

A chance encounter in a fertilizer dealer shop reminds me of this caption always.  I met a group of Guntotting Ex Dacoits who had spent 7 years in Open Jail as punishment and surrendered in front of Late Shri JayPrakash Narayan.

This Ex Dacoit was a Farmer and political leader now.  When introduced as the sales person who was selling his favorite brand of fertilizer – He had asked in HINDI whther “Ye Saheb swarthee hain ya parmarthee”. A Deep question about whether this person I am being introduced is Selfish or Selfless?  Even an Ex Convict chooses to know this beforehand.  Why I wondered?

Random Musings: Sometimes good for fun:). Jay’s Tantra -4 for Problem Solving

Just some random thoughts that crossed my mind, some with reason, some without reason. I like Dr. Edward De Bono and his Lateral Thinking techniques.  I especially like the Random Object technique of attribute listing.

Here I use these one-liners as Random Input sentences and relate them to a Problem with a Problem-solving objective in mind. Worth a try.

It did help me.

  1. She did not cheat on the test, for it was not the right thing to do.
  2. Wednesday is hump day, but has anyone asked the camel if he’s happy about it?
  3. I really want to go to work, but I am too sick to drive.
  4. I would have gotten the promotion, but my attendance wasn’t good enough.
  5. Yeah, I think it’s a good environment for learning English.
  6. What was the person thinking when they discovered cow’s milk was fine for human consumption… and why did they do it in the first place!?
  7. If the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy had babies would they take your teeth and leave chocolate for you?
  8. I often see the time 11:11 or 12:34 on clocks.

What a Day! Random inputs of the Day.

  1. Shot In the Dark
    Meaning: 
    An attempt that has little chance for success. It actually worked.

    (Out of the box idea seemingly is the RIGHT solution today)

  2. A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted
    Meaning: 
    It’s easy for a fool to lose his/her money.

    (Some live in false pretenses and show off, although paradigms shifted, Reset pressed.

  3. Barking Up The Wrong Tree
    Meaning: 
    To make a wrong assumption about something.

    (Mean- Meaning making machine, lesson of Dissociation on my NLP course ! What a day !)

  4. Mouth-watering
    Meaning: 
    Delicious; something that looks or tastes appetizing.

    (Some Quirky, wacky, tacky, blasphemous, hillarious, original ideas flowed and made the day – very futuristic.  Best to discuss ideas than people and things)

  5. Quick and Dirty
    Meaning: 
    Things that are fixed with great speed, but as a result, it’s probably not going to work very well.

    (The sword dangles on relationships, the risks do not go away as communication is onesided as other side is speaking with pursed lips ( suppressed pain and emotions)

  6. Cup Of Joe
    Meaning: 
    A cup of joe is an American nickname for a cup of coffee.

    (Hmmm… and again! I forgot to drink my morning tea before the walk 🙂 )

  7. Keep Your Shirt On
    Meaning: 
    Keeping calm. Usually said by someone who is trying to avoid making others upset.

    (Silence, Quietude like solitude can be counterproductive among friends)

  8. It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be
    Meaning: 
    Failing to meet expectations; not being as good as people say.

    (To expect is BAD – there is no Good in Expectations, lessons learnt, experience gained).

Random Phrase I picked today

  1. Close But No Cigar
    Meaning: 
    Coming close to a successful outcome only to fall short at the end. 

    This came true today.

  2. Under Your Nose
    Meaning: 
    Missing something that should be really obvious.

    This also came true today.

  3. Beating Around the Bush
    Meaning: 
    Someone who is beating around the bush is someone who avoids the main point.

    This also came true today.

  4. Keep On Truckin’
    Meaning: 
    To keep going, pressing forward; never stopping.

    It was the Wish but did not happen

Mental Turmoil: & a Random Quote from Bible – Jay’s Tantra -3

Numbers 31:15

Passage: 

“Have you allowed all the women to live?”

he asked them.

I had a mental turmoil. At such moments, I turn to Gita, Ramayan, Bible and turn a page and pick one verse or quote.  Try and mull and understand the meaning to find inner peace and God’s message to me to listen to my inner voice with HIS Voice reverberating in my mind together.

This is a personal technique – I call it Jay’s Tantra and it helps me at times to go find the meaning beyond the words, deeply thinking, introspecting, reminiscences of the past and slowly it brings me to the present – my STATE and shows me a path to overcome the mental turmoil, dilemmas, indecisive phase, awkwardness of the decisions I thought or took and their impact.

I need to hear a preacher understand the quote from the bible but the belief that it is a God’s word – leads me to what I began searching and it has helped in terrible moments in my life.  They have always helped me to bounce back with vigor, rigor, self-confidence.

Sunday – Acts of kindness.

  1. Reconnect with your grandparents or an elderly person you know – give them a call! ( I reconnected with my granddaughter after a long while – she’s fluent in English, Hindi, Marathi and taught me a few Telugu words too 🙂 . WOW !
  2. Lend a friend a book you think they’d like (Gave away a whole library) 
  3. Leave a kind message anywhere (in a library book, on a computer etc.)
  4. Wardrobe overflowing? Donate clothes to a charity ( I give it to a Blind school)
  5. Make amends with someone you may have wronged (Hmmm….. May be, I will)
  6. Know someone going through something you’ve been through? Give them advice
  7. Volunteer your time for a good cause  (PLANNING to create a video channel for the charities I support with help of a startup Video/ Filmmaker).
  8. Help someone improve, give them constructive feedback (Neyt! I’d rather feedforward as we can’t go back and correct it – but we can shape up in future.)
  9. We all love surprises! Buy someone an unexpected gift – Yes. worth a thought (Wife and daughter both gifted ME a USPA T-shirt each ! ) 
  10. Plant a seed – yes overdue. Note to self. Must do. 

Why breakups hurt like hell – via Medium. I subscribe this.

Why Breakups Hurt Like Hell
How to manage the pain and move on

Lesley Alderman, LMSW
Follow
Jun 8
Photo: Portland Press Herald/Getty

1.1K

This is what I remember from my last major breakup: the cracks in the ceiling. I spent a good 10 hours lying on the couch in my East Village apartment staring at the ceiling, following the lines etched in the fading paint, as if they would lead to more answers. I was stunned that I could feel so drained and defeated even though I had initiated the end.

Breakups can be devastating. You can feel like a desperate 3-year-old lost in a grocery store or a hollowed-out wreck. Why? Because we’re human, and humans are designed to pair with other humans. Uncoupling and rejection feel like threats to our existence. We tend to respond with some variation on the themes of despair, confusion, and rage.

“Separation distress elicits panic,” explains Sue Johnson, PhD, an internationally recognized couples therapist and author. “And people don’t know how to make sense of it.”

Making sense of a breakup, though, is vital: it helps you recover. Looking at what happened and why will reduce the sting and help you make a better choice next time.

The pain you are experiencing is understandable, when you recognize that humans are bonding creatures hardwired for relationships. We are designed to grow and learn in the presence of others. Our connections to lovers, friends, and family define us and help us survive. Healthy intimate relationships provide us with a sense of safety and serve as a buffer against the slings and arrows the world hurls our way.

One study, which looked at the power of hand-holding, showed how robust the buffering effect of a partner can be. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin, Madison observed how 16 happily married heterosexual women reacted when they were threatened with an electric shock. The women were hooked up to a brain scanner, which measured their responses to the shock threat. In one scenario, the women held their husband’s hand, in another they held the hand of an anonymous male experimenter, and in the final scenario, they held no hand at all.

When the women held their husband’s hand, the area of the brain that processes emotional and behavioral threats was less activated than when the women held the hand of the stranger or held no hand. The more favorably the women had rated the quality of their marriage, the more powerful the buffering effect of their husband’s hand. It’s no wonder, then, that losing that safeguard can elicit despair.

Being part of a couple can also change your identity. Researchers at Northwestern University examined the effect that breakups have on self-concept. The 2010 study found that becoming single makes you feel less significant. “When the relationship ends, individuals experience not only pain over the loss of the partner, but also changes in their selves,” the study’s authors wrote.

Breakups can also trigger feelings of shame. “We consider any relationship that ends a failure,” explains Katherine Woodward Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Conscious Uncoupling (yes, the book that Gwyneth made famous). “We have this belief that love should last forever.” But in reality, most of us will have two to three relationships in our lifetimes and two to three major breakups.

When you’re the one being left, the sting is particularly sharp. Rejection triggers feelings of humiliation, isolation, and pain. Research by Naomi Eisenberger at UCLA has found that the emotional pain of rejection is coded in the same part of the brain as physical pain. Your rational mind may try to downplay the rejection — “Eh, he wasn’t worth it,” — but it registers in your brain as if you’d been punched in the gut.

The best remedy for the pain that follows a breakup is self-care and self-examination. Before you can recover and make rational sense of the breakup, you first need to attend to your shaken sense of self. Talk about the demise of the relationship with your friends, spend time with people who treat you well, write about your worries. Remind yourself that breakups can be traumatic; you need time to adjust and recover.

At the same time, resist self-destructive urges. Don’t stalk your ex online (this will increase your level of distress), pretend you’re fine (suppressing feelings leads, over the longer term, to greater emotional drama), or try to numb your pain with excessive amounts of alcohol, substances, or sex (never a good plan).

When you’re ready, ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from this relationship?’ A 2017 study looked at the romantic relationships and breakups of 160 young adults. The researchers found that when individuals understood the reasons for their breakup, they suffered less stress and reported more satisfaction in their next relationship than their less clued-in peers.

Resist the all-too-satisfying desire to totally demonize your ex as a whacked out psychopathic narcissistic wreck of a person. “Okay, maybe your ex was 97 percent of the problem,” says Woodward Thomas. “But let’s look at your three percent. That’s where the gold is.” What did you not say or do — or fail to say or do? What warning signs did you ignore? What old pattern were you replaying? Did you give your power away? Women, for instance, have a tendency to bond more quickly. Men, of course, tend to hang back, wary of committing too much, too fast. Even though those tendencies are well known, we may not see ourselves living out such patterns as they’re happening. “Until you see what you are doing, you are bound to do it again,” says Woodward Thomas.

You will start to figure out who might be a better match for you. Bear in mind, people who are emotionally responsive tend to make the best partners. If you’ve never had the pleasure of dating an emotionally responsive human, here’s what they look like: they listen; they can tolerate your emotions, even when they’re negative; they are moved by your feelings; they are not terrified of vulnerability (they may not love it, but at least they don’t belittle it).

In general, people who are available, reliable, and trustworthy also make good partners in romance and life. Research consistently shows that people who have mates with these characteristics feel secure, nurtured, and supported in their relationships.

“Breakups hurt so much because relationships are so important to us,” says Dr. Johnson. But, with some effort, it’s possible to turn the pain into self-gain. Before you get involved in your next relationship, take some time to picture what a good, enduring one looks like to you.

1.1K

WRITTEN BY
Lesley Alderman, LMSW
Writer. Psychotherapist. Yoga enthusiast. Interested in mental health and helping people feel psychologically sound. Brooklyn based. www.lesleyalderman.com

via Why Breakups Hurt Like Hell – Member Feature Stories – Medium

What mentors do for startup founders

A startup can have all of it — a good suggestion, an expanding customer unfriendly, funding, an excellent outlook — yet discover itself floundering, struggling to cope with a transforming into team or finding out the most effective approach to make use of these bucks for enlargement. And that’s the place the appropriate mentor could be helpful, nudging the founders within the appropriate path and helping them develop each for my part and professionally.“Having the appropriate mentor is crucial. It can be the difference between making a fine decision and a disastrous one,” says Abhishek Verma, founding father of nine-month-historic startup Mojostar, a celebrity-pushed retail business. Verma receives advice from those that have been there and accomplished it before him on three counts — navigating massive partnerships and negotiating, hiring the appropriate americans, and getting to know the way to allocate capital. Verma, who became part of Myntra’s brand team previous, has drawn his mentors from the style etailer’s old management team.TIES OF suggestions

Warren Buffett – bill Gates

The Microsoft founder has commonly mentioned famed investor Warren Buffet is his adviser when it comes to ideas and investments, other than being a detailed pal. Gates has noted Buffett asked him a couple of hard questions in the early years of Microsoft, which helped him build the company into the tech giant it grew to be

Larry Ellison – Marc BenioffThey’ve have had public feuds but they’re additionally shut friends, and Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison supported Benioff throughout the early days of Salesforce, offering counsel, assist and day without work from work.bill Campbell – Jeff BezosA former Columbia institution soccer participant and educate, Campbell labored with and mentored with one of the vital greatest names in tech, including Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Larry web page and Eric SchmidtWhile mentoring is constantly about a casual, very own relationship with a senior or more experienced grownup who takes an hobby in a more youthful entrepreneur with spark and power, in some instances the relationships are more formal. a few accelerators assign mentors to the startups of their programmes, while some angel investors play the role of adviser. In other circumstances, “professional mentors” engage a stake in the company to dish out suggestions.A examine by activity insight, a non-profit that supports excessive-impact entrepreneurs the world over, found that 33% of founders who are mentored via a hit entrepreneurs went on to turn into correct performers. “The magnitude of difference between the performance of companies with a success mentors and groups that lack them suggests that the cost of beneficial mentors for startups may well be above all excessive,” activity insight’s director Rhett Morris writes.Sagar Yarnalkar, founder of grocery delivery platform DailyNinja, says his mentors are also his angel investors — TaxiForSure’s Aprameya Radhakrishna, Freecharge’s Kunal Shah and Anupam Mittal of Shaadim. “Aprameya helped me plan my incentive structure to work with companions and milk carriers beneath the gadget. He had journey working with providers right through his time at TaxiForSure,” he says. Shah and Mittal helped set up conferences with key buyers. All this helped Yarnalkar bag an additional round of funding from Sequoia Capital last December. “a pretty good mentor will need the equal factor you desire and back you to the hilt,” he says.usual MENTORS IN INDIAAparameya Radhakrishna, founder of TaxiForSurePhanindra Sama, founder of RedBusKunal Shah, founder of FreechargeAnupam Mittal, founder of ShaadimGlobally, too, founders of tech giants like Apple’s Steve Jobs, Google’s Larry page and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos have mentioned how having a mentor helped them build and scale their companies.

In India, there are lots of a hit entrepreneurs who associate with more youthful ones to support build the startup ecosystem. closing yr, Niti Aayog invited purposes for its ‘Mentor India’ programme, beneath which mentors might guide schools college students in govt Atal Tinkering Labs. around 750 mentors have been chosen for programme throughout the country. whereas some entrepreneurs just put their identify down as a mentor in order that a startup can raise money, others are in fact attracted to the increase of the business and support every time feasible.

Some suppose the word ‘mentorship’ has been abused in India. “Mentors in India are overrated. basically, ninety% of the time an entrepreneur takes the name of someone as a mentor because it sounds respectable. on occasion an angel investor puts in money and leaves however is credited as a mentor,” says Somdutta Singh, vice-chairperson of Nasscom Product Council and a member of the core administration committee of girls Entrepreneurial telephone, NITI Aayog. She says many incredibly-valued startups in India grew through inserting big names as mentors after they had been beginning but the relationship wasn’t really one in every of nurturing and advising.

If entrepreneurs get a “skilled mentor”, it comes for a monthly price. Singh herself is a mentor to startups via her consulting firm and her roles at Nasscom and Niti Ayog and fees a charge for her time.“just a few accelerators charge startups charges each month for an hour of mentoring, but mentorship isn’t consultancy provider. which you can’t pay them by using the hour,” says Ishan Singh, who has led three investments and is a mentor to 10 startups, including WeDoSky and PeeBuddy. He become previously a mentor to the founders of 91 Springboard. An advisory equity stake, constantly 1-5% within the enterprise, helps the mentor be utterly aligned to the growth of the enterprise, he says.There are still risks though. PeeBuddy co-founder Deep Bajaj remembers the time a “mentor” disappeared after inquiring for a 2% stake in the enterprise. “fortunately we hadn’t issued it. but i know many startups who haven’t been as lucky,” he says.To counter this, in Israel, its innovation authority has a formalised mentor-mentee programme, which ensures that the individuals signing up as mentors are tracked online for the number of hours spent assisting startups. Nasscom’s Deep Tech membership has all started an analogous programme with legal professionals, accountants and entrepreneurs appearing as mentors, and they need to visit the startups twice a week.

So how does one select the foremost mentor? Somdutta Singh has an ‘paintings’ —Aspiration-Responsiveness-Transition — for it. “The startup’s aspiration should healthy the mentor’s. Responsiveness is helping them connect with the appropriate individuals. Transition is to help startups develop. A mentor may still do all these,” she says.Verma says a startup should have a clear purpose and define specific results for the relationship. Ishan Singh, too, advises startups to spell out the expectations they have got from the mentor and to do wide research before signing one on. Mentors should be sincere ample if assist they can’t support, Singh says. “I even have declined somewhat a few startups as a result of I don’t consider i am the right grownup to help them,” he says.

Age Difference – Interesting article – bit explicit language so sharing link.

via Age difference doesn’t always matter – Jessica Wildfire – Medium

I like Satish Acharya’s Cartoons.

Vajubhai and Yeddyurappa at Karnataka Restaurant!: Vajubhai and Yeddyurappa at Karnataka Restaurant!

via World of an Indian cartoonist!: Vajubhai and Yeddyurappa at Karnataka Restaurant!

I Liked this StoryTelling Technique

One knew from the beginning that there is a CLIMAX or an ANTI-CLIMAX or something rather dramatic is going to be told in the end and some weak hearted even predicted the correct END which was the Punchline of this story, ( May be their experience made them wiser to predict). But all in all it was an engaging story with several Hormones levelling up.

Talking of Hormones – I shall write about it once I am sure and have certainty about their positive effects later.

5 Minute Mentor Mentee Interview.

Whether you are a Mentor or you wish to be a C Suite Mentee The following can provide you a quick way to break the ice in an early mentoring meeting (with thanks to the Independent newspaper).
The answers don’t have to be written down – this is to create conversation. Fundamental to this interview are two main Communication Pillars which make the Mentee understand that :
1. The Mentor will Reveal himself Transparently. Reciprocity is expected/ appreciated. Confidentiality is maintained.
2. The Mentor ‘Provokes’ ! Be Ready for this, Challenge is good, Provocation leads to bringing out the Best in you !

Both mentee and mentor can answer these questions:
• If you weren’t talking to me right now you’d be …
• The catch- phrase/s you use far too often is …
• I wish people would take more notice of …
• The most surprising thing that happened to me was …
• A common misconception (idea) of mine is …
• I am not a politician, but …
• I am good at…
• I am not very good at…
• The best day / night out is …
• The best age to be is …
• In a nutshell, my philosophy is …
• I light up when…
• If I could learn any language I would learn..

via (8) #37 – 5 Minute Mentor.Mentee Interview – C Suite Mentoring. | LinkedIn

Story Telling – The Story for Stan F. Smith (?)

I am not sure, if Stan F. Smith was his correct name. I met the gentleman in 7th Floor Free Ward of Jaslok Hospital in year 1979.  No. He did not present a pleasant sight. His half the Skull had stitches in his bald head and he had been operated for Fileria ( Haathi Panv) but still had one leg hugely swollen and he had difficulty walking with his walking stick.

But one night, he came to my hospital bed and when I was looking for a Bed pan and could not wake up the nurses by ringing the bell – he gave me one.  I could not sleep all 8 nights I was operated but I instantly liked the gentleman.  We decided to become friends.  I learnt that the nurses do not answer to the bells in the night.  Stan would personally go to the patients in need of water, bed pans, urine pots or wake up the junior doctors if someone looked serious or showing symptoms of heart attack or panic.

As we both could not sleep, we began taking rounds of the other wards. I had a knee surgery but I was able to walk. Stan had to take some effort but he was game for it.  We managed to make friends with JUDOs the Junior Doctors and began having jokes with them. We would do numerology and I was good at palmistry then and would predict love affairs, marriage, private practice etc. what the JUDOs liked to listen and have fun at.

One day I asked Stan what he used to do for a living as he was a patient here for over an year. He said he was a marketing consultant living in Malad a Mumbai suburb.  I asked him what does it mean.  I was working in a village bank branch and had just become a field officer with Madras Fertilizers after one year of apprenticeship.  I was trying to do a British Institute Marketing Management correspondence course.  So Stan explained. He said In Mumbai which is country’s biggest retail market – you can sell anything.  Anything ! he reinforced and said – Including plain DIRT !

I was astounded.  I said how?  He said we are in Pedder Road and you can see all the high rise buildings with their luxury apartments around.  He said many of them are people who came as paupers from villages and made it rich – Mumbai was Indian Poor man’s American Dream even in those days !

He said, you live in a village and must have observed when people come back from toilets they rub their hands in dirt before washing them.  Reason: Toilet soaps are not very common in villages. I said yes. True.  He said,  People may have become multi-millionaires and may live in these skyscrapers – some of their habits are age old.  If you filter dirt, soil of different colours and make small 50 gramme packets and say Toilet Mitti (Soil) – it will sell.  He said you can bring in variants, of colours, quantity, packaging and even claim this comes form UP, RAJASTHAN, BIHAR, MP etc. etc. and people would flock to buy it.

People in Mumbai like to buy on footpaths as they are very busy people catching buses, train, taxis all the time.  The rich move near seashores and gardens.  He said Have a large umbrella and put up a stall near these places and begin selling.  He had my attention, Focus, his STATE had my empathy and I was flabbegasted by his FREE Advice to a youngster.

Over the years, we lost touch and 39 years later I am not sure, if I shall ever see Stan but I know one thing he was one hell of a marketeer who UNDERSTOOD People, Their NEEDS, Their purchasing power, Indian Psyche, The Places where they frequent, The places where they will buy.  He also advised on packaging and marketing and promotion and he said – word of mouth is the best publicity.   Rich people like to bargain the most – allow them to and let them have the last laugh and he would say you would still be reaping profits.

9 years later, I became a student of Marketing Management in Pune and I remembered my friend Stan and narrated this story to one of my Marketing Gurus and he said WOW ! I want to meet this man.  But Alas, i had no clue where he was.

Marketing as i learnt is all about Psyche’ / knowing the customer needs, buying behaviour, pattern, purchasing power and then pitching with your product/ service with different creative innovative techniques.

Below is a link I liked about Story telling from TedX shows that I like to watch from YouTube.

let me know which Hormone was activated after reading this story in you?  I am usually good at story telling as they are real life experiences but this time I am following the Art and Science of Story telling  following an expert.  May be, one day I shall appear on YouTube with my stories or well may be, become a Storyteller Paid Speaker.  🙂

 

Story Telling is an Art and Science

Interesting Ugly Phrases from generator today :)

  1. Eat My Hat
    Meaning: Having confidence in a specific outcome; being almost sure about something.
  2. Talk the Talk
    Meaning: 
    Supporting what you say, not just with words, but also through action or evidence.
  3. If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen
    Meaning: 
    One should discontinue with a task if they are unable to cope with it due to pressure.

Jay Parkhe’s C.A.L.M. Approach to Mentoring and Greased Lightening

One of the Sub-Approaches within his Professional Mentoring Practice Jay Parkhe uses is named by him as CALM – Concentrated, Accelerated, Learning Methods.  There is nothing calm about it.  And the usual Perceptive feedback/ Feedforward he received form his Direct reports 22 years ago and his latest Mentees is no Different.  “Jay, you are too fast paced for us”.  Yes, Jay is a man in a hurry and in the Give mode, he likes to share all that he have – no holds barred to every Coached / Mentee.  Let me take a phrase that comes to my mind. It is called Greased Lightning”  Its  Meaning is :  Simply “Very fast or quick.”and the Concentration has different Learning connotation – Acceleration comes from this word called Greased Lightning and that defines Jay’s style of mentoring.

Jay derives motivation from Serena Williams quote, “At my age, I see the finish line. And, when you see the finish line, you don’t slow down. You Speed up.”

The Concentrated Learning Method is rather simple.  I learnt it from a Volunteer lady who came to teach children some 12 years ago to a school TNT was funding called ‘Parikrma Foundation”.  What I learnt from her ( sorry, I forgot her name – my senior moments 🙂 ) but the learning was precious.

She said she is teaching Kindergarten school children 4 things:  ” READ, WRITE, LISTEN and SPEAK”.

I used this for Adult learning, coaching, mentoring as a Tool/ technique and it is a fiercely KickAss Mentor training, as it was my belief that Adults already are Learned people and they would soon understand.  Only I brought in the Technology perspective here and that changed the Mentee, coached or my Direct reports perceptions totally and invoked the “too fast paced”comment.  Let me explain. How does Reading, Writing, Listening, Speaking happen in a MNC Corporate environment?  What are the tools  and techniques and Technology at the command of Senior Executives and C-Level Executives. Tremendous. The back room IT solutions provider team makes more and more user friendly softwares and solutions to help the often IT illiterate C-Level Executive or the aspirant for those positions.  Being a FAST TRACK recruiter I found the MBAs, Freshers from B school more literate and able to adopt the technology that seniors.

So what does this Method entail.  I ask Coachee/ Mentees

Read : Reading habits, Reading times, Any habits of note taking, Best times of undisturbed reading, Type of reading – fiction/ non-fiction, poetry etc. Then I ask about reading SMS, WhatsApp, SnapChat, Facebook Posts, Linkedin Posts and Influencer articles, Kindle e-books etc. I also focus on their email reading habits – the average time spent, the total time taken to read and respond to mails and electronic message.  Millennials are faster, sharper, adopt technology well and use smartphone, ipads, tablets, laptops well.  Then I test them on their Reading skill with Best and worst readability short and long messages and mails. Sometimes flooding them with important and unimportant messages.

What I notice or observe just by observing is : Short or longer attention span, What they like to read and from whom.  The time of the day when they are most or least receptive and also gauge their response time and setting of priorities. Many Crack, Some give feedforward – They Win.  Some Keep quiet but stop responding – They lose.

Sometimes I also ask them to read aloud their emails just to see their own reactions to some of the words they use in their messages/ mails.  It is wonderful and makes people realise where they can get better and still better.  It helps.

Write:  I sometimes provoke and test them on their short and long hand messages.  Their precis writing skills, the use of jargons, the cliche’s and the slang, abbreviations, abusive words marked with S@#4 or F#$% etc. etc. – Feedforward again works when they are requested to Read aloud the SHORT and long messages and email to gauge the impact this will have on the receivers of the messages.  I also introduce here some of the latest technology, tools, browser extensions, abstract writers, phrase generators etc. and some CRM tools like RocketBolt, Boomerang, Mailtrack and Grammarly etc.  These help me to gauge their Diction, vocabulary and refine their language depending upon their stage to prepare for the C-Level positions.  For Entrepreneurs and business people it becomes tortuous but if they are chasing a big dream and ( I do not coach or mentor anyone who does not have a big dream any way)  wish to be a Corporate some day or a Unicorn = they know what they are lacking.  I sometime comfort them by saying that you recruit the best of Executive Assistant with a flair for official writing, business writing, Report writing, Pitch writing, Appraisal feedback writing etc.  All of this is usually taken well and people know their areas where they have to get better. 

Listen:  This works both ways. Sometimes, as Coach / Mentor I monopolise the talk time and make the coachee/ Mentee fret and fume for not getting a chance to speak.  I also tell them that interruptions are bad as they come in the way of a brainwave/ thought process of the speaker.  It irritates them like hell. I then begin to count their number of interruptions and point them to improve. Sometimes, I just go quiet and respond only in monosyllables or do not respond to many messages – but write one curt, short or long mail covering all important points from my perspective ignoring deliberately what is important from Mentee’s point of view.  This is to make them understand that the listener also need Accuracy, Brevity and clarity just as the written communicator needs. Long periods of quiet can hurt both ways and if the Coacheee/ mentee begins to go into quietude/ silence or starts cursing under the breath – these are tell-tale signs that the Coaching may not last longer as they have begun to crack.  Some mentees actually get very angry at these provocative, challenging but SILENT interventions and CRACK ! 

Speak: This one is the most interesting part.  Many people choose Mixed – Khichdi ( use of colloquial, ethnic terms) when the listener has no clue, no context, no perspective and they struggle to find meaning into what is being said.  Some feel most comfortable using local language phrases, idioms, cliche’s which they are not so adept at translating and expect the listener to be the know all.  Some take offence being asked to repeat as they mumble or speak their local language mumbo-jumbo which often sound Greek and Roman to listener.  Some speakers are so philosophical that they HAVE to quote the likes of Plato, Aristotle or bring in some Great Poet like Rumi into their conversations that the listener struggles with the meanings all the time. 

For the Slang users I tell them to search Google for Mentor Lyrics in the most explicit language and practice.  They give up after some time saying it is so GROSS ! 🙂

Some are fluent, some speak at 50 w p m and beat Stephen Hawkins while others beat the Ferrari’s and speak 160+ words per minute.  It takes an effort to discipline them and make them audience focused, audience centric and understand those for whom they are speaking.

In all, it is an enjoyable CALM learning technique.

Next I follow up only with the C-Level is : Tell, Sell, Inform, Consult, Advice or Ask – difference in the communication.

For project managers the RACI or RASCI are better  examples of communication and many a times it is the best technique to use with Startups too.

Feedforward by mentees “One Man Company and 11 in 1 Accomplished Mentor” – A compilation.

This article is also available on LInkedin

I sought a Feedforward from my Mentees, Friends, Peers, Ex-Bosses and Mentors about this article.

The responses have been most overwhelming, challenging and quite motivating.

1,Thank you AVM from Bengaluru for this fabulous feedforward:

Quote “Hello

First of all fantastic compilation of the areas which suits very well to what you are doing currently

Below are my rating

  1. Coach – 10 (Can be one of the best coaches for startups and even top companies, especially with the amount of knowledge you possess with the experiences which you have gone through in life is a great insight for a beginner)
  2. Connector – 10 (Always have seen your eagerness to help after we put across new proposal. The efforts you take to connect with the like minded people will really amaze me always. Kudos to that)

  3. Cheerleader(Exec, startup, Biz) – 10 (Always on A game with the business strategies)

  4. Educator – 10 (Beautiful educator especially the way you connect through your stories. I have had some amazing memories)

  5. Ideator – 10 (This always tops my list. The amount of new ideas you generate on the go after knowing the business is fascinating)

  6. Librarian – 9

  7. Superstart and Idol – 10 (Definetely a great idol and role model for startups)

  8. Challenger – 9 (Have seen instances vey often how to challenge team to get the action done after the strategy meeting)

  9. Teammate – 9 (I have not seen this scenario, so would not like to comment on this. I am sure you would be the best teammate)

  10. Brand – 9 (I liked Jay brand. Surely this goes well and i hope your knowledge reaches to many more lives and impact them immensely)

  11. Coach and Mentor – 10 (Put together all the earlier points)” End Quote.


  1. Thank you SS from Mumbai on WhatsApp for 9/10 rating. Have requested you to share ratings on all points so that I shall take steps to improve.
  2. Thank you JJ for your kind comment Quote ” Why write this yourself why not instead make it like. 11 chapters written by 11 different mentees who would focus on that one trait they found most beneficial – in that showing all facets of your mentoring abilities and skill base . Like in style of the “one minute manager”, EndQuote
  3. A great lady Doctor Dr.SP whose service to humanity is unparalleled wrote in all humility Quote “Thanks sir Personally i feel it is too juvenile for me to answer these questions as you are too good to inspire,stimulate, guide and mentor anyone. We are blessed to have someone of your stature to mentor us.” End Quote.
  4. JK wrote on WhatsApp – Quote “Very Good Sir, Its impressive” End Quote.
  5. YS an Ex-colleague wrote in Marathi Quote ” Khup Chhan AAhe! with Two thumbs Up !”End Quote
  6. VSC wrote from Delhi – Quote” Shall read it thoroughly, As you are one good writer and Very Good Motivator “End quote.
  7. Retd Cdr. RP from Delhi wrote Quote “Thank you Sir, Seems to be a very well thought of and detailed description of your 11 Approaches” End Quote.
  8. My old colleague HP from Mumbai/ Kochi wrote: Quote “I perused. The approaches theory is different. You may want to add a bit more of examples in between. I find people respond more to this. Also after going through it thrice, I find it to be too serious, a bit of humour helps. Also you could reduce the repetition of Jay in the whole content as it seems to be too repetitive especially when the paragraphs are not large. You have also ended it very abruptly. You need to phase it out saying Jay is available on ___ etc etc ” End Quote. I shared the 5 Track Thinking behind the Article and what are my plans in the near future with my Peer HP. And I was delighted when he wrote back “Wow. Now I am tongue-tied. Hats off.” Thank you so much HP for kindly reading the article and sharing your insights, and keeping the Secret !
  9. Dr. (Mrs)S.D. from Pune another peer and Executive Development Trainer and Coach of repute said “Sir it is written very nicely but too lengthy I think”. And I mentioned to her that this is just an Outline of the things to follow and she also agreed “WOW. Look forward to”.
  10. JS my ex boss and Mentor and a very Senior Consultant from UAE / Dubai/ Abu Dhabi commented: Quote” It’s good .not sure of (Approach) No. 8 though That’s something your mentees should be writing Also not sure whether you should position yourselves as small brand. Others good. You could add sounding board and philosopher too.”End Quote Thank you JS for spending your valuable time to read and share your valuable comments.
  11. My Senior Cousin, Ex-General from Army, Ex-VC and Health Advisor to a Reputed University in Pune said “Difficult to Comment”. After clarifying the future plans over phone, as my True Connector Mentor; he asked me to write to him on Monday and agreed to introduce to senior University experts on Entrepreneurship, Startup Cells to discuss and carry my plans forward by seeking their collaboration. He agreed to do the honours! WOW! Thank you Dada!
  12. Mr. BM Mumbai/ Bangalore a current President of a Pharma Co, C-Level Executive Coach and Search consultant of the yesteryears said, Quote”How about (i)using pictures (ii)to weave it into a wonderful story… to begin with?” End Quote. I was privileged to speak to him over phone for 10 minutes to give him the context and plan. His response 👍🏼 “I get the contacts better now”. So there is after all a plan and some mystery surrounding the article
  13. DJ from Bangalore – a friend I found via Linkedin.com and an International Insurance Expert said, Quote “Beautiful. It captures the essence of what a mentor should be.” After sharing the context and plan – his reaction – “WOW! Look forward to”. Thank you DJ for your time and comments.
  14. My last Pro-Bono Mentee who went on a Fast track 55 day gruelling Coaching/Mentoring drive with me sent her scorecard:   Quote “The score to all questions (except 8 and 9) is 8. (about approach No. 8 can’t say for the other mentees. Approach No. 9 (rating is) 6”
  15. Feedforward by SS
    Chief Revenue Officer / Chief Operating Officer / P&L Head- Media, Health Care, Logistics & Supply Chain and Education
    “Mr Parkhe is a wonderful person. He has mentored many people (including myself) who have benefitted immensely by his guidance. Always avaialable to give superb advise when your stuck or in a dilemma. I know of many people who have achieved stupendous success in their lives and careers through Mr Parkhe’s structured and meticulous mentoring. He’s a super coach !”
  16.  By SS a Director

    “Hi sir really a wonderful write up nice narratioN”

    17 By BSK
    Managing Partner at  Text & Print
    “Jay it was intEresting reading your work and business profile we are into sportswear manufacturing specially Football.”

    18.By BSM
    Global C Level Retained Executive Search| Technology & Functional Leadership Hiring | Technology Entrepreneur
    “Great article and an awesome write-up.”

    19 By GK
    Army Veteran experienced in Telecom, Security Management, Training, Administration, Procurement & Logistics
    “Great synopsis….do connect , we manufacture footwear”

    20. By JRI
    Author
    “Jay is what he says he is, eleven rolled into one. Man of kindness and determination. He had a bit of health problem and the way he came back and started his daily walk one should admire. Kindness I find in him and he stands by what he says to all. I find consultants reluctant to direct another to probable end user, is not the case with Jay. There is a plentifulness in this world that he is ready to share with. Good man to follow. Happy he put it in 11 challenges that others face that he can happily resolve. “

    21.By AG
    Vice President, Regional Business Unit Brakes Components, Asia-Pacific – CHINA

    “Very thoughtfully evaluated and described, variety of roles a mentor has to play. Apart from most important and trustful bond between mentor and mentee, mentor also plays vital role to harness technical, functional emotional, social competence to pursue own goals with determination. This all a experienced Dhananjay can well and truly deliver !! All the best”

    22. DG- DELHI

    “HI Sir i read it. Difficult for me to comment. People are multi-dimensional beings. I can’t conceptualise ppl by categorising their traits.
    If i have to talk about someone i will do it in story form talking about how they experience life n see the world n how different the perspective is. HAPPY TO SERVE. “

    23. RS -PUNE – EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR – Top Law Firm and Retired DGP- ED.

    “Excellent write up. Summarises your capabilities pretty well. Keep Going.”

    24 By SG
    Director (Skill Education) PUNE
    “Simply I can see , he is the perfect idol for any entrepreneur. All roles with detailed descriptions is truly Amazing. I personally vouch for his strategic inputs on challenges, funnelling our difficulties, make to understand us on focus of business, conceptual thinking , how to break the glass ceiling , I can give more then 10 marks for each role if it is in my hands”

    Most appreciated SG. You are very kind – Jay

    25.Ms. MK – Mumbai
    Cluster Manager
    “DP Sir as we all call him has been a wonderful guide,coach and a mentor to many of us who have been fortunate to work with him.One person who is always ready to embrace change, learn and apply new things and technically updated.These 11 points are just a synopsis of a bigger personality that he is.”

    26. By PSB

    Chairman of a leading NGO in Karnataka wrote

    Quote”

    Thanks for considering myself to rate your excellency….
    On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being maximum, i would rate yourself at 9.25 over all…
    The reasons for 9.25 being:
    1. Your are creative thinker
    2. Critical thinker
    3. Motivational personality
    4. creates catalyst of mentor development
    5. impulsive nature
    6. Go an extra mile to ensure team grows and achieves the goal
    7. Do excellent background analysis
    8. Resource partner
    The reasons for 0.75 being:
    1. May need some time to analyze Students with their past history
    and maybe through some physiological tests or studies on students which will help you to analyse them better and can groom based on their strength
    2. There is always scope for growth and this 0.75 can help you to build that.
    I feel for our Trust, your mentorship is just too proficient and adroit caliber and we are blessed to have you.”End Quote

In all I received the Ratings from over 100 of my recent mentee.. i wait till 30th April to receive all Feedforward and Scorecard and begin tabulating final scores for my personal improvement and development gap analysis. Meanwhile, There are few bloggers who began following me on www.parkhe.com and were reciprocated on their blogs

Apart from the 250+ personal messages, Smileys, Thumbs Ups, Hi-Fives from busy friends and Mentees and the Likes on the Linkedin Page – these Ladies and Gentlemen who wrote their comments Made my day. Sometimes – even a mentor needs to re-channelise his inward focus and negative energy – OUTWARD and Re-Create one’s own Brand Magic ! Thank you all for your kindness and your valuable time. Most appreciated.

Searching for meaning in life? The Japanese concept of ikigai can help you find it | Big Think

Searching for meaning in your life? This Japanese concept can help you find it
February 6, 2018 by PHILIP PERRY

A map of the ancient Japanese concept of ikigai.
In the post-modernist, Western world, religious life has decreased substantially, patriotism has been replaced with a widespread distrust of the government, and getting ahead has become exceedingly difficult. As a result, more and more people are falling victim to ennui. This dreadful feeling of bitter disillusionment stems from the loss of meaning in their lives.

A lack of purpose can increase the risk of mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, resulting in poorer sleep, worsening health, and in extreme cases, substance abuse and thoughts of suicide. Some have turned to the East, most recently, to the ancient Japanese concept of ikigai, which means, roughly, “to live the realization one hopes for.” Another interpretation, “that which makes life worth living.” Take note that there’s no exact English translation.

Iki means “life,” whereas gai means “value” or “worth.” Gai comes from the word kai meaning “shell.” This refers back to the Heian period (794 to 1185), when shells were considered valuable. We can interpret ikigai as finding value in one’s life or discovering one’s purpose.

In the West, self-help gurus and movements of one flavor or another have come and gone, and in the wake of each, though often lighter in the pocket, few of their participants find real solace. Perhaps rather than happiness, which is generally momentary and fleeting, we should seek a purposeful life. Exploring the concept of ikigai and the questions that come with it, can help one find a solid purpose and through this, contentment and drive.

The whole concept has been boiled down to four questions:

1) What do you love?

2) What are you good at?

3) What does the world need from you?

4) What can you get paid for?

Here’s a handy Venn diagram:

Credit: Twitter.

If you’re retired, you may not have to worry about what you can be paid for, so you can delete that one and focus on the remaining three. The idea is not only to find your purpose but the proper balance between all aspects surrounding it. Another consideration, one’s ikigai doesn’t affect the individual alone.

For the Japanese, the concept has a social element. It’s about getting comfortable with your role in your family, job, and society. It’s traditionally split along gender lines. While men usually associate their ikigai with their work and career, women (at least traditionally) associate it with motherhood and their role in the family. And even though ikigai has recently become the latest New Age buzzword in the West, this doesn’t make it any less effective for those who find themselves at a crossroads, with no sign to guide them.

via Searching for meaning in life? The Japanese concept of ikigai can help you find it | Big Think

Killing Thrills

Thrill Killing is the act of committing murder for no reason other than self-satisfaction or to receive either a sexual or emotional “high” – due to the fact Thrill Killers often target complete strangers and have sadistic personalities that involve torturing and dehumanizing their victims as well as the fact they commit extreme crimes for no reason other than personal enjoyment they are the most feared and hated kind of killers.

Thrill Killing has been blamed in modern times on violent media such as video games, access to pornography on the internet and a “modern world of sin” mentality – in reality however the modern world has not seen an increase in Thrilling Killing, it is simply being exposed to a larger audience than it was in the past.

Thrill Killing is a classic sign of sociopathic behavior and can also involve the torture and murder of animals, as many Thrill Killer pick targets they believe will not fight back and who can be easily “snuffed out”.

Thrill Killers are often stereotyped as vicious teenage males and although this is sadly the truth for many not all Thrill Killers are roaming gangs of young males.

Many Thrill Killers enjoy collecting videos and pictures of their actions and some go as far as releasing them in the hopes of gaining infamy for themselves – although the rise of media sites and video-sharing has once again been blamed for this behavior the practice is much older than the internet (for example Jack the Ripper frequently left notes taunting the police, presumably for thrills – the most infamous of which is the “Letter From Hell”).

via Thrill Killing | Real Life Villains Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia

At My Age, We Don’t Slow Down. We Speed Up !

I am a Senior Citizen. We don’t need any qualification to become one . Just live 60 years of life and you become one 🙂

Many of mentees/Coachees complain to me that they can not cope up with Jay. He is too fast paced and his Speed of delivery is phenomenal.  Jay spent good 25 years in the Speedy, Express Delivery business with TNT and in his own Enterprise.  It has to have its impact on his life. But the point of this article is not that. It is a wonderful quote I read from The World Tennis Champion which is very motivating:

“At my age, I see the finish line. And when you see the finish line, you don’t slow down. You speed up.” —Serena Williams

I have watched her and her sister play Tennis on TV and their Speed, Stamina, aplomb, Self Confidence and the Spirit to Win is phenomenal.

 

Jay’s Master Mentor Class

As a Mentor I start with the belief that :

The Master Appears when the Pupil is ready.

  • When the Mentor is willing to be fully Transparent and willing to Reveal him/herself to the Mentee in full.
  • When the mentor is Selfless,
  • When the Mentor is Detached yet attached,
  • When the Mentor is Involved yet committed.
  • True Mentor is Provocative one,unafraid of Taking it to the extremes to re-channelise the Mentee’s negative energies in the Right Path/ Direction shown
  • True Mentor is Unpredictable and creates a Surprise element in his Tools, Techniques, Methods and at some stage is Ruthless, Brutal to make the Mentee know the Reality.
  • The successful mentor changes his tracks often like a RailRoad and uses different speeds in Mentoring Process to make the mentee sometimes Derail with his/her past baggage.

Magic Happens !

“If you work with a master mentor like Jay , you’ll get there Faster, Better Still Better and be Ready to Beat the Best – including your Enemy Within!”

Why People behave the way they do -Why people do what they do

In IMDR’s 1988 HR class Prof. Deven Dhanak used to refer to this statement “Why people behave the way they do “and used to talk about Chrys Argyris theories around them.

Over the years when I joined NHRDN I found the same question was relevant even in 1993.

When I reflect in my pre-retirement period and the discussions with HR thinkers – they were very quietly talking about HR Makeover or transformation and at the core of discussion this them would always be present.

I subscribe to a newsletter and I read this short article which I am quoting below:

People will only ever do something to

  1. the very best of their ability because they want to –
  2. because they choose to.(And
  3. people live to change –
  4. we just hate to be changed by others)

Exactly what people do depends on the

  • choices they believe that they have at that moment in time, which depends on their
  • own self-esteem and past experiences.

They then

  1. choose that which will move them fastest towards pleasure –
  2. what they do want – or
  3. fastest away from pain – what they don’t want. 

Usually they choose a short term outcome instead of one further in the future.

So now you know – make use of this knowledge to the good of others and yourself.”

David Taylor is a global speaker and best selling author of ‘The Naked Leader trilogy’ Naked Leader – What we do – Leadership that makes and saves you money, by ensuring that you make the fast, lasting and measurable choices you really need to make

Get Business Fit – Professional Speakers

I have been doing a deep search of the web to understand the Speaking Business.  One reason is to understand this business better and the other is to help me understand my mentee who is in this business better.

I came across this article which I quote – I found this very motivating and cleared some of my own cobwebs about the business.

Quote”

“As a professional speaker, I am passionate about what people who book speakers think makes a great speaker.”
That is why – at the Asia Professional Speakers Convention 11-12 May that I am chair of this year – we have a panel of three buyers of speaker services sharing about just that. Check out www.AsiaProfessionalSpeakersConvention.com if you are interested.

And that is why I yesterday I asked the question to Mike Doughty.

Mike Doughty is today a speaker and the founder of Get Business Fit. We had a conversation today about speaking as two speakers sharing peer-to-peer, but I also took the chance to ask him about his views from “the other side”.

Mike used to run an event company that would book some of the best speakers in the world. Over the years he booked over 100 speakers – and paid more than 2 million dollars in speaker fees.

I asked him: “What makes a great speaker great?”

His answer?

“The ability to articulate a different perspective in a way that is engaging.”

Sometimes a short, precise sentence is the only thing you need to be reminded of what is important.

As a speaker is your message different?

Are you giving a new perspective?

Are you articulating this message in the best way?

And do you do it in a way that is engaging?

If you answer “yes” to all these four questions you are on your way to becoming a great speaker, now work on getting even better at all four. If your answer – honestly! – is “no” or “a bit” or “perhaps” or “I think so” etc, then put all your effort on fixing that one thing that is missing.

Personally, I think the one thing I need to work most on is “articulate”. As a non-native English speaker speaking almost exclusively in English I constantly struggle to use a more nuanced vocabulary in my speeches.

What is the thing you need to work more on?” 

End Quote

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