6 Ways to Deal With Anger, Without Letting It Out
Don’t worry, you don’t have to bottle it up either.
By Lauren Vinopal May 30 2018, 7:52 AM
Anger is a primitive emotion—a fight or flight response (mostly fight), and conventional wisdom states that we need to release it somewhere. But that’s not necessarily the case. Because whether you’re screaming into a pillow or at your children, blowing off steam only results in more of it.
“By acting angrily, you actually increase the likelihood of continuing to act angrily, just as acting loving and compassionate tends to increase the individual’s tendency towards love and compassion,” psychotherapist Ross Grossman told Fatherly. At the same time, anger serves an important role. “Every moment of anger provides a temporary reprieve from the raw sting of inner pain,” psychologist Bernard Golden told Fatherly. “In this way, it’s a coping mechanism.”
How, then, is a dad to cope without perpetuating a cycle of anger? Here are a few tips:
Quick! Find a Distraction
Distraction is a short term but necessary tactic for managing anger. Before you fly into a rage, try playing a distracting game on your phone for about 20 minutes. Indeed, researchers are developing computer games for that very purpose. After 20 minutes of distraction, you’ll be able to apply a levelheaded approach to the situation at hand. “Once you’re cooled off, you also need to understand what you need from the situation so you don’t get angry again,” psychotherapist Sara Stanizai told Fatherly. “It’s good to relax you, but then the real work begins.”
I distracted myself and worked on my blog instead. Results are astonishing. I am not an Adwords expert or SEO specialist.
I just emoted, shared, wrote what I liked about, appreciated and commented what I loved in new followers’ posts, poetry, poems, pictures, their adventures, their hobbies.
It is like doing “Appreciative Enquiry” the famed HR technique online.
What did I get.?
- Peace of mind
- 5000+ Views
- 2500 new visitors
- Nearly 3000 Likes
- about 200 comments
And finally, I patched up with a friend I was angry with by deciding to be Human! Humans Err. We buried the past and decided to come together, work together as we enjoy the Creative moments of mental stimulus we provide to each other.
Try it. It is worth it.